To a community I helped Flotonic construct, I am deeply saddened by my own departure. Sometimes things happen in real life that really, really get to you. Things that you can't control, and can only stand by and watch as they completely destroy any and all plans you had made for your life course. I will miss working on my projects, namely URA and OoTHD, however they will be in good hands. OoTHD will be sent to dear PwnzLPs. He might use it for his MMHD game. My URA mod will be headed to Dropbox. Which is an excellent place to keep things. I may pick them back up occasionally, but not like I have been doing. I need the time to rethink and replan my entire life. Funny how one thing in life can change everything. If you already have contributed to my projects, or plan on doing so, please do not be discouraged from continuing to help. They are left in good hands and those new folk can help keep things in order.
Concerning my return, I am unsure. A community as tight knit as this one is certainly hard to leave, but I need time to be a Recluse. I've found that withdrawal usually helps at least take the edge off (although I don't know about this one, its never been this bad before). If you see my name logged in at the bottom, its just a visit from an old friend. I won't be active hardly at all, maybe one or two edits here and there, but no more posts.
As sad as it is, this finalizes my departure that so many of you have voiced your opinions about. To those that spoke to me and told me to not leave, I must say that this was an eventuality of the current situation in my life. The 2005 movie Flight plan (pretty good, watch it if you haven't) has an almost relevant dialogue interchange. I say almost relevant because they talk about death of loved ones, but nobody has died in my case. But it certainly is just as painful as losing a spouse or child. Maybe even worse. Here's a spoiler that's copied directly out of the movies script, but only the relevant bits. Its probably best if you watch the film, reading it won't show you the all the emotions in it. KYLE is a mother aboard a plan who has just lost her daughter somewhere aboard the plane and her husband died earlier by
- [+] Spoiler
- [+] Spoiler
Things have normalized in this cabin now: movies are playing,
people are sleeping again. Meals are being served.
But no Julia. Just this odd German woman, speaking gently:
My name is Lisa. The Captain thought
you might want to... talk with me.
(Kyle's a blank)
I'm a therapist.
Kyle looks to Carson.
I saw you - my seat is just a few
rows up - and I ask if I can help.
Please forgive my English.
Kyle feels like she's drowning. And her injury throbs.
I don't know you.
So many of my patients come to me
after a loss. To grieve.
Parents. If they have lost a child.
Kyle shudders. Rhett and Brittany re-appear.
Kids, turn around.
The kids turn around, disappearing from our view... Lisa's
glad for that. She turns to face Kyle again.
Sometimes it is just stopping. Being
still. Is that the right word?
Allowing the pain to come.
Your husband. David. He was a very
I don't know you.
Lisa nods, unoffended, and takes Kyle's hand.
...just a bit of human contact, but it works. Kyle shuts her
eyes for a moment.
He couldn't work anymore.
David. He couldn't write anymore. He
wanted to go back to New York.
I wouldn't. I didn't wanna give up my
Have you cried about that? Have you
asked them to forgive you?
(Kyle's a blank)
You never got to tell them how sorry
you were. How guilty you feel. You
must be carrying that now.
Last night I walked through the city,
and he was there. He was with me.
We just walked. And he wasn't angry
about it anymore. He'd forgiven me.
Can you forgive him - for taking her
like he did?
Kyle shuts her eyes, can't trust her memory anymore...
Was Julia there too?
Your walk, with David. Was Julia
No. She was home. It was late.
Kyle pauses a moment, as if reminding herself: "Wait a
minute; I remember this so clearly. It must have happened."
I came home, and she was in bed. She
came into his office, looking for me.
And we talked until she was asleep
There was a certainty to that. Lisa smiles, touched.
It is impossible to... move on, yes?
If we haven't accepted.
Kyle's sighs, inadvertently steaming up her window.
You have to think... think of your
husband and child as being on an
island. A beautiful place.
...and there it is, a SHAPE emerging from the steam on Kyle's
It's the HEART that Julia drew - while David's casket was
being loaded onto the plane.
A clumsy, shaky, beautiful heart, fingered by a child...
Kyle stares at it, jolted. Julia was here. She was sitting
right here. I didn't imagine that.
They will always be there. And you
can swim to them any time you need
to, in your mind. They'll be there.
Kyle traces her finger over that heart, fresh tears wetting
her eyes, not listening at all:
But that island... it is not a place
where you can live. You have to let
them be there. It's not your - how do
you say? - not your place. Do you
A decision just got made; we can see it on Kyle's face. First
step is to get past Lisa, so:
We believe what we want to, don't we?
Sometimes it's the only way one can