My Life with Phimosis - Learn from my mistakes

Joined: 4:12 PM - Dec 10, 2017

4:19 PM - Dec 10, 2017 #1

I have had problems with my foreskin all of my life. When I was 11 I had minor surgery to separate the foreskin from my Glans (the skin was fused along the rim preventing retraction). The surgery was a great success but due to how sensitive it was to retract afterwards, I abstained from pulling it back for another 4 years. Big mistake.

At age 15 I became a regular viewer of Porn and noticed that all the guys had penises that looked very different to mine. I assumed they were all circumcised until I downloaded a full movie that showed everything from start to finish. I saw the guy flaccid and thought "Finally, a dude that has a penis that looks like mine". Then the Women entered the scene and the guy starts to get hard and the foreskin naturally rolls back exposing the glans. I was shocked to say the least.

After seeing that scene and doing some investigation I realised that I had a problem. I began trying to deal with it immediately, starting with long baths in which I would slowly pull the foreskin back when flaccid. It was about 1 year later that I was finally able to pull back the foreskin completely whilst flaccid. The reason for this is not just because the skin was tight but because it was essentially glued to my glans by a thick, crusty layer of Smegma that was very painful to remove.

Pro Tip: I have found that the best way to remove this thick Smegma with minimal irritation is with Baby Oil. I don't know the chemistry, but it broke down my Smegma from a solid crust to a mushy kind of paste that I could scrape off with my fingernails.

Getting back to my story, now I had a foreskin that could actually roll back and forth somewhat and the increase in pleasure whilst masturbating was very noticeable.

The next stage was to see if I could retract the foreskin whilst erect - I couldn't. I could only pull the skin back slightly and my frenulum felt like it could snap at any moment. I tried this so many times but eventually stopped due to pain and the fear of tearing the skin.

5 years pass. My foreskin is still as bad as it was when I was a teenager. I am still keeping it nice and clean but I am avoiding any kind of stretching for the same reasons that I stopped at 16. During this time I have watched friends start dating and hooking up. I've had plenty of interest from Girls too but I avoid even showing interest in them, for fear that it may lead to sex and I won't be able to perform. I've made a real fool of myself in some situations and several people began to think that I may be Gay. I mean, why else would a young man turn down the advances of total stunners? I am talking 8's and 9's if you want to go by that "Hotness Scale". During this time period, I began drifting in and out of social circles. I would hang around with people until they started to notice my lack of love/sex life. I found it easier to remove myself from peoples lives, severing all contact, rather than open up and tell them that I am a Virgin due to a medical problem with my Penis. When you are young you can get away with this type of behaviour as you are always meeting new people and nobody quite knows who they really want to be around or what they want out of life. As you get older though, this changes, it changes fast.

A few more years pass and I go through several phases of trying to stretch my foreskin. I actually made some progress, going from a 1cm diameter to a 2cm diameter just from pulling a bit harder than I normally would whilst masturbating. That came to an end though after I had a very nasty UTI that lasted 6 months or so. Once again, I fall into depression and stop trying.

Fast forward to today. I am 28, Single, still a Virgin, still have Phimosis and to top it off I now have Epididymitis in my left testicle. I am lonely, my family thinks I am odd, Gay, Socially inept, too soft (emotionally weak), too shy to talk to Women, or, a combo of the above. There is no more dipping in and out of social circles, I don't meet enough new people anymore and everyone my age is settling down, starting families, buying their first home with their spouse etc. Here I am, feeling much like a Teenager at times, overwhelmed by the world and feeling lonelier by the month. I am at a "make or break" point in life it seems. My friends that I still have are concerned about me, they want me to find a good woman to share my life with. I want this too, more than anything in fact. Every night I crawl in to bed, smoke some Weed so that I can sleep and not dream (my dreams are very disturbing and upsetting, they tend to dwell on my shortcomings with love, life and happiness and health). After I have finished the weed, I lay on my side and wrap my arms around my torso, close my eyes and drift off into an imaginary world where all is well and that I am being cuddled by a woman whom I love. This moment of escapism is usually the highlight of my day.

So what is my typical day like now? Well, I get up around 11am, get sorted, go downstairs to work (I work from home to avoid people inquiring about my love/sex life), then after work I go to my bedroom where I either read fiction or play video games. Those two activities used to be fun when they were in moderation, but now they are just time fillers so that I can avoid thinking about my problems between 7pm and 10pm until I can climb into bed and live another life inside my head.

For many years I have contemplated suicide. Thankfully I am now neither brave enough or "disturbed" enough to ponder this. An old friend committing suicide changed my perspective on the subject, the harm to family and friends is immeasurable. Not to mention, despite my problems, life does have its good moments. Playing games with my 3 year old nephew for example, he just brings so much joy to everyone around him. Well, when he isn't throwing a temper tantrum anyway LOL. I realise despite my depression I have plenty to live for and it is time to get my penis in working order. Once my penis is working as nature intended, I can pursue women and from there hopefully find a partner. I can stop being so evasive, so secretive with everyone in my life. At this time I can't think of a person I don't regularly lie to and I want this to come to an end.

So, I've started stretching again to fix my foreskin and I am going to book an appointment with my Doctor next week to start tackling the Epididymitis. I refuse to let these conditions stop me from living a happy and fulfilling life.

I've yet to come up with a solid plan to tackle this as I am still researching and experimenting with stretching techniques. My latest discovery and so far seemingly best way to stretch is with a Plastic Vaginal Speculum (Virgin Size). I simply pull back my foreskin whilst flaccid, rub a dollop of water based lube all over the glans and skin, then slowly roll the skin back forwards, making sure not to push all the lube out. Next I open the speculum slightly, just wide enough to fit over the tip of my glans. Next, I simultaneously slowly slide the speculum downwards whilst my other hand rolls my foreskin forward so that it rolls over the top of the speculum. Once I feel the ends of the speculum hit the corona I begin to expand the speculum until I can feel the stretch without it being painful. At this point you can just use one hand to control the speculum and regulate how much pressure you need. It's too early to measure any kind of result from this as it has only been one week but it looks to be the most effective way for me to stretch. I did try Phimocure before this but found that inserting the rings was too painful. It remains an option in the future though if I can get some expansion going on with the speculum.

So, I have a method of stretching the foreskin (assuming it works) but I don't really have a clue about how to stretch my frenulum. Lately I have just started pulling back the skin as far as I can whilst flaccid as this puts pressure on my frenulum. I now do this every time I go pee, every time I am in the shower/bathtub and sometimes just laying in bed watching TV. Is this a good technique?

Sorry if my ramble is a bit long, but I just needed to put everything out there. Phimosis has negatively affected my mental, emotional and physical development throughout my formative years. My life would have been a lot better had I just bit the bullet and told someone about it all those years ago. I could have seen a Doctor, got the steroid cream and gradually stretched to the point where I could be out there slinging dick like most healthy young men. Don't be like me if you are young and reading this, bite the fucking bullet, the alternative is much worse. Even circumcision, as much as it makes me recoil, would have been better than what I have lived through. I am not recommending that treatment by the way, but I'm just saying, if stretching fails for me I am going to go through with the snip because the life I have lived to date is not how I want to continue.

Don't be like me, start tackling your Phimosis immediately, don't put it off and hope it will resolve itself - it won't. Try stretching and if that fails see a Doctor and go from there.