One!life > Just share'n a joke or two!

One!life > Just share'n a joke or two!

One!life
One!life

September 11th, 2011, 6:39 pm #1

http://www.chuck.org/jokes%20religious.htm

Joke of the week
from Today's Christian Woman's Small Talk,
May/June 1996


My four-year-old granddaughter, Amanda,
went to the doctor's office with a fever.

The doctor looked in her ears
and said, "Who's in there? Donald Duck?"

She said, "No."
He looked in her nose and said, "Who's in there? Mickey Mouse?"

Again she said, "No."
He put his stethoscope on her heart
and said, "Who's in there? Barney?"

Amanda replied,
"No, Jesus is in my heart.
Barney is on my underwear."

******************************************************

Love Ya'll as ONE!

Love All As ONE!
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One!life
One!life

September 11th, 2011, 7:26 pm #2



Where is God

Two brothers are terrible trouble makers.
They are always breaking things,
stealing things, lying,
and making all kinds of general trouble.

The parents have tried everything
to get the boys to change,
to no avail.

Finally, out of options,
they ask their pastor if he can help.

He says he will talk to the boys,
but only one at a time.

The parents drop off the youngest
and go home, promising to return to get him soon.

The boy sits in a chair
across from the pastor's desk
and they just look at each other.

Finally, the Pastor says, "Where is God?"

The boy just sits there and doesn't answer.

The pastor begins to look stern
and loudly says, "Where is God?"

The little boy shifts in his seat,
but still doesn't answer.

The pastor is starting to get angry
at the boy's refusal to converse
and practically shouts "Where is God?"

To the pastor's surprise,
the little boy jumps up out of his chair
and runs out of the office.

The boy leaves the church
and runs all the way home,
up the stairs and into his brother's room.

He shuts the door and pants,
"We're in BIG TROUBLE.
God's missing and they think we did it!"

Matthew 18:2 And Jesus called
a little child unto him,
and set him in the midst of them,
[3] And said, Verily I say unto you,
[4] Whosoever therefore
shall humble himself
as this little child,
the same is greatest
in the kingdom of heaven.

Love Ya'll as ONE!

Love All As ONE!
One!life
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One!life
One!life

September 12th, 2011, 6:15 pm #3

From the KjV Bible Read'ns:
http://www.videcomp.com/kjv/TOC.html

Mark 10:23 And Jesus looked round about,
and saith unto his disciples,
How hardly shall they that have riches
enter into the kingdom of God!

10:24 And the disciples were astonished at his words. But Jesus answereth again,
and saith unto them,
Children,
how hard is it
for them that trust in riches
to enter into the kingdom of God!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UgLpRvX7Qk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFXti_KR ... re=related

(Kids say the darnest things)
Art Linkletter and the Kids

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uY7LF10l ... r_embedded

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TAMMY WYNETTE - KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS LYRICS

Kids say the darndest things
Have you ever listened close
to the games they play
Or the little songs they sing

Last night dressed up in a high heel shoes
And wearing my old hat
My four year old said
"I wanna divorce",
Now where did she hear that

Kids say the darndest things
Have you ever listened close
to the games they play
Or the little songs they sing

Last night as I watched TV
One rushed through the door
Mommy daddy's telling someone on the phone
"Don't you call me here no more"

Kids say the darndest things
Have you ever listened close
to the games they play
Or the little songs they sing
Bet my daddy can whip your daddy
But daddy's never home
And I think mommy's worried
'bout him'
Cause she cried all night long

Kids say the darndest things
Have you ever listened close
to the games they play
Or the little songs they sing
You never know what they learn at school
Or what they're thinking of
My first grader just said a four letter word
And it sure wasn't love

Kids say the darndest things
Have you ever listened close
to the games they play
Or the little songs they sing
Kids say the darndest things


Love All As ONE!
Onelife!
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