and now for something completely different.

and now for something completely different.

Joined: April 17th, 2006, 10:37 pm

July 25th, 2010, 11:49 pm #1

So...this man shows up in front of St. Peter, and St. Peter starts to give him the standard "You are about to enter the Pearly Gates" talk -- when POOF the man disappears. St. Peter is puzzled, but goes back to his normal tasks and gets ready to call the next person in line. But the man suddenly appears again. So, once again, St. Peter starts his spiel and POOF the guy disappears! St. Peter looks all around, can't figure out what happened to the guy. He is just about to call to the next person in line, when...lo and behold, the same guy appears in front of him again. St. Peter is exasperated, and says, "Now look here fella, what are you doing, playing games with me?!?"

And the poor guy replies, "No, they keep resuscitating me!"
Last edited by kateothelamp on July 25th, 2010, 11:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: October 20th, 2007, 5:48 am

July 25th, 2010, 11:57 pm #2

`

that story's all wrong, dear! They kept PRAYING him back to life.

There was nobody trying to resuscitate him! He kept disappearing because there was
a whole congregation outside the hospital with candles and Hymn books PRAYING for him!


"UGH" @ tall tales!

Carry on











`

`




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Joined: December 8th, 2003, 1:16 am

July 26th, 2010, 12:11 am #3

lack of communication; bureaucratic bungling, if you will ... up in heaven. Peter should have been NOTIFIED that this guy was under temporary suspension until further notice.

-Vince
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Joined: October 20th, 2007, 5:48 am

July 26th, 2010, 12:25 am #4

`

I don't believe the one catholics refer to as ST. PETER is awaiting
our arrival at some ""Pearly Gates"". So I have no comment on the
lack of communication between up there and down here. Sorry













`

`




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Joined: May 4th, 2005, 1:31 pm

July 26th, 2010, 3:05 am #5

So...this man shows up in front of St. Peter, and St. Peter starts to give him the standard "You are about to enter the Pearly Gates" talk -- when POOF the man disappears. St. Peter is puzzled, but goes back to his normal tasks and gets ready to call the next person in line. But the man suddenly appears again. So, once again, St. Peter starts his spiel and POOF the guy disappears! St. Peter looks all around, can't figure out what happened to the guy. He is just about to call to the next person in line, when...lo and behold, the same guy appears in front of him again. St. Peter is exasperated, and says, "Now look here fella, what are you doing, playing games with me?!?"

And the poor guy replies, "No, they keep resuscitating me!"
That was funny!

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Joined: December 8th, 2003, 1:16 am

July 26th, 2010, 3:36 am #6

`

I don't believe the one catholics refer to as ST. PETER is awaiting
our arrival at some ""Pearly Gates"". So I have no comment on the
lack of communication between up there and down here. Sorry













`

`




I'm sure St. Pete would be worn out by now ... being a pearly gate greeter for over 2000 years already. I reckon there's a mechanical "butter Peter" statue there with moving arms, lips and a recording ... to greet the masses coming in.

-Vince
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Arthur Dent
Arthur Dent

July 26th, 2010, 6:45 am #7

2000 years of professional greeting, I wonder if they have departments of Santa helpers, ... I mean St Peters, has anyone bothered how many people would be piling through the pearly gates these days?

Lets say 110,000 people a day (3 per sec) I hope St Pete is a speed reader of that book of the saved.

What happens if they have an accident like happened in Germany yesterday at the pearly gates?
what happens to all the people crushed in situations like that? Do they have to get processed again?

That also represents a massive load on builders of mansions, and deforestation of trees up in the clouds.

Also 51 species go extinct every day, 255,000 births a day.

88,000 abortions a day 26 million a year (I doubt they are counted in the deaths either.)

http://www.peterrussell.com/Odds/WorldClock.php

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Arthur Dent
Arthur Dent

July 26th, 2010, 10:07 am #8

`

I don't believe the one catholics refer to as ST. PETER is awaiting
our arrival at some ""Pearly Gates"". So I have no comment on the
lack of communication between up there and down here. Sorry













`

`




An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.
- Jef Mallett
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Joined: July 1st, 2008, 11:52 pm

July 26th, 2010, 12:37 pm #9

I'm sure St. Pete would be worn out by now ... being a pearly gate greeter for over 2000 years already. I reckon there's a mechanical "butter Peter" statue there with moving arms, lips and a recording ... to greet the masses coming in.

-Vince
the names in the Bible are a code of HOW GOD WORKS IN THE SOUL:

now this code is so important that when someone actually gets an experience, witness of Jesus, they will understand why the CHRIST is named JESUS:

the gospels for instance are the beginning of the code of the whole NT:


it begins with

Mathew (the gift if Yah)

Mark (is a defense)

Luke (of LIGHT)

John (for the blessed of Yah)


since Jesus Christ is the GIFT OF YAH, the rest of it makes sense


if one doesn't understand that Jesus Christ is the GIFT of Yah, none of it makes sense:

the NT and OT are written in so many codes that it will take a thousand years to exhaust them once the "MIND OF CHRIST" Is given


without the "mind of Christ" there will be no understanding of the CODE or of JESUS (the salvation of Yah)
every day is a new day to die to the old and live to the newness of life
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Joined: March 4th, 2007, 4:09 pm

July 26th, 2010, 1:23 pm #10

I'm sure St. Pete would be worn out by now ... being a pearly gate greeter for over 2000 years already. I reckon there's a mechanical "butter Peter" statue there with moving arms, lips and a recording ... to greet the masses coming in.

-Vince
For Babylon Jack to finish his apprenticeship...
-- At Walmart.

-PRev1-
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