Prose: A short (ish) story I just loved

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Prose: A short (ish) story I just loved

Osel
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Joined: June 20th, 2007, 3:33 am

October 1st, 2015, 8:31 pm #1

Last edited by Osel on October 1st, 2015, 9:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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TerryO
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Joined: November 28th, 2014, 9:40 am

October 2nd, 2015, 6:29 am #2

Nice story. I was a tiny bit let down by the ending. A bit too knowing or something. But well written and nice pacing. Fun!
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Osel
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Joined: June 20th, 2007, 3:33 am

October 2nd, 2015, 12:51 pm #3

when I read it a second time to my partner, I could see little areas I'd perhaps have altered, including that ending, slightly, downtoning it. Would love to have seen it "workshopped"! On the whole, however, I thought, quite marvelous. More than the sum of its words. And certain Pasang moments were enchanting, to me.
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FranklyDire
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Joined: June 7th, 2015, 6:45 pm

April 18th, 2016, 2:51 pm #4

I loved it too Alison, really enjoyed it, easy to read and so finny. I wonder if this was written in one take, it's possible.
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