Orang Asli

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Orang Asli

Meena
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Meena
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Joined: May 13th, 2016, 1:26 pm

November 24th, 2017, 10:14 am #1

Speeding through the Cameron Hills,
I encounter a family, clad sparse
talking a different dialect,
behaving strange.

It is eleven in the morning
the man, an Orang asli  
sells fresh honey.
Jetto, greets with the coloured 
warm toothy smile  He smells fish  
The  natural aroma of honey out beats the pungency. 

His wife, a wee neater, spreads 
hand crafted baskets and boxes.
The  bamboo products  are weaves of craft.

I interview them, cross the code of conduct. 
Get personal.  Demand the house number, 
age and earnings. Question his skills. 

Over indulgence.

Jetto shoots back. 
with a guffaw,  house number?
qualification? His wife  throws 
an all knowing grin.

His answer petrifies. "The jungle 
is my home. I am daring, adventurous 
These are my credentials. 
Want anything more?"

Jetto grows large in stature.
An eclectic in spirit.

I stand degraded.
 







 
 
 
 

 
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saore
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Joined: April 25th, 2009, 6:21 pm

November 26th, 2017, 9:37 am #2

I also like this one Meena.

Sergio
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Meena
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Meena
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Joined: May 13th, 2016, 1:26 pm

November 26th, 2017, 11:56 am #3

Thanks, Saore.
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Ken Ashworth
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Joined: September 3rd, 2017, 10:05 am

November 28th, 2017, 8:02 am #4

Meena wrote: Thanks, Saore.
Good action, very engaging
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BobBradshaw
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Joined: January 8th, 2015, 3:05 pm

December 3rd, 2017, 12:57 pm #5

Meena wrote: Speeding through the Cameron Hills,
I encounter a family, clad sparse
talking a different dialect,
behaving strange.

It is eleven in the morning
the man, an Orang asli  
sells fresh honey.
Jetto, greets with the coloured 
warm toothy smile  He smells fish  
The  natural aroma of honey out beats the pungency. 

His wife, a wee neater, spreads 
hand crafted baskets and boxes.
The  bamboo products  are weaves of craft.

I interview them, cross the code of conduct. 
Get personal.  Demand the house number, 
age and earnings. Question his skills. 

Over indulgence.

Jetto shoots back. 
with a guffaw,  house number?
qualification? His wife  throws 
an all knowing grin.

His answer petrifies. "The jungle 
is my home. I am daring, adventurous 
These are my credentials. 
Want anything more?"

Jetto grows large in stature.
An eclectic in spirit.

I stand degraded.
 
Excellent!  This is stellar, Meena...no crits..I like it all, including the close.






 
 
 
 

 
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Slowlearner
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Joined: August 30th, 2017, 11:32 am

December 3rd, 2017, 6:33 pm #6

Sound like a humbling but worthwhile experience. I like the clear imagery here. How you use it to tell the story. Are the periods missing here intentional?

Jetto, greets with the coloured 
warm toothy smile  He smells fish  
The natural aroma of honey out beats the pungency. 

And maybe reconsider "guffaw." Do guffaws actually exist? To me, it's a word used for writing without being grounded in existence.

I like this.

John
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FranklyDire
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Joined: June 7th, 2015, 6:45 pm

December 4th, 2017, 5:19 am #7

Guffaw used by British English speakers
sums up exactly this:

guffaw
ɡəˈfɔː/
noun
  1. 1.
    a loud and hearty laugh.
    synonyms: hearty laugh, loud laugh, roar of laughter, hoot of laughter, shriek of laughter, peal of laughter, belly laugh
    "his joke brought a great guffaw from the youth"
  2. Originearly 18th century (originally Scots): imitative.
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Meena
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Meena
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Joined: May 13th, 2016, 1:26 pm

December 6th, 2017, 11:16 am #8

Slowlearner wrote: Sound like a humbling but worthwhile experience. I like the clear imagery here. How you use it to tell the story. Are the periods missing here intentional?

Jetto, greets with the coloured 
warm toothy smile  He smells fish  
The natural aroma of honey out beats the pungency. 

And maybe reconsider "guffaw." Do guffaws actually exist? To me, it's a word used for writing without being grounded in existence.

I like this.

John
Thanks, John. Guffaw is a loud  and hearty laugh.  Jetto laughed aloud. I have to check the punctuations. 
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Meena
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Meena
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Joined: May 13th, 2016, 1:26 pm

December 6th, 2017, 11:18 am #9

Ken Ashworth wrote:
Meena wrote: Thanks, Saore.
Good action, very engaging
Thanks, Ken.
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Meena
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Meena
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Joined: May 13th, 2016, 1:26 pm

December 6th, 2017, 11:20 am #10

FranklyDire wrote: Guffaw used by British English speakers
sums up exactly this:

guffaw
ɡəˈfɔː/
noun
  1. 1.
    a loud and hearty laugh.
    synonyms: hearty laugh, loud laugh, roar of laughter, hoot of laughter, shriek of laughter, peal of laughter, belly laugh
    "his joke brought a great guffaw from the youth"
  2. Originearly 18th century (originally Scots): imitative.
Thanks, Frank.
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