did I build this ship to wreck? [M?]

Felix & Evan
Children: Eleanor, Gemma, Theodore and Leonora

did I build this ship to wreck? [M?]

Evan Johnson
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Evan Johnson
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Joined: 29 May 2010, 10:02

20 Jan 2016, 09:18 #1

[18 July, 2015; 1:45 AM]

Evan was very, very drunk. Luckily, she lived close enough to Lattimer's that she could safely walk home, even if she did have to stop now and again to stop the pavement from getting so close. And puke in someone's flowerbed once. Sorry, neighbor. She was going to regret this in the morning, she knew. She hadn't been this drunk since she caught her fiance balls-deep in her evil roommate, and the hangover she'd had the next day had overshadowed the pain of her ex's betrayal. Evan had always been a bit of a lightweight- being of a small frame and fairly little drinking experience, it didn't take her that long to get drunk. She could usually handle like three beers and a shot or two, but she'd had... so much more than that. She'd run into Shane, and then one drink led to another, and now, well.

Now, she was just a fucking mess. She'd finally made it back home, and she fumbled with her keys in the lock. She did her best to be quiet, since Felix and Leonie were still home, even though the twins and Teddy were at their dad's for the weekend. Which they wouldn't be if Evan wasn't such a fuckup- why hadn't things with Matt worked out? She'd tried so fucking hard. She'd done her best to make a good home for him and their kids, to be everything he needed; the best friend, the best co-parent, the best lover... she'd tried, dammit! Why couldn't he have just been satisfied with her? What was wrong with her? Why did every man she tried to work things out with leave her?

Finally, Evan managed to get the damn door open- she'd lived in this house for five years, how was this now being a struggle? Especially since this wasn't the first time she'd come home excessively drunk. She closed the door as gently as possible, but it was still not very gentle because she misjudged how far she had to move the door. She winced and muttered "Sorry, Felix," under her breath. At the door, she toed out of her shoes, only losing her balance two or three times. She managed to not actually fall over, though, so. Small victories. Because she had lived in that house for about five years, she was still able to navigate the hallway in the dark, drunk as she was. She did stumble into the wall once, but she did not actually hit the floor. Good.

She eased her bedroom door open. Between the chill of the night and the walk home, she'd begun to be less drunk, although 'sober' was about as far away as 'successful romantic relationship.' She and Felix did share the bed, because it was big and both of them were relatively small and there was nowhere else for either of them to go, really, and occasionally they did wake up snuggled a little closer than they'd been when they went to sleep, but... they weren't romantic. They were more roommates. God, though, Evan was lonely. She never thought she'd miss the emotional roller coaster that had been her and Matt's relationship, but she missed that spark, that crazy tear-your-clothes-off chemistry that they'd had and lost.

Evan shed her button-up, letting it fall where it may on the floor. After a moment's consideration, she let her jeans follow and climbed into bed. Normally she slept with pants on, since she and Felix didn't really have that kind of relationship, but maybe... maybe Felix was just a gentleman, and was waiting for her to make the first move. She cuddled up to him, pressing herself against his back and kissing his neck gently.


NEHM IS A SUPERHERO
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Felix Laurence
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Felix Laurence
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Joined: 21 Apr 2013, 21:42

15 Jul 2016, 03:29 #2

Felix if he was being completely honest was exhausted.

He worried extensively over Leonie, being that his daughter's health had been so fragile in the early days. Every single time she sneezed now, Felix would panic. His daughter had a bit of a cold, so he'd fussed and refused to leave her until she was fast asleep - curled up around her stuffed wolf toy. Gently, Felix pulled up the covers around her tucking her in and still reluctant to let her be. But he knew that she was fine and if anything happened...well he always had the baby monitor.

He retreated to the living room, finishing up a first draft of an article on current events before saving it and finally closing his laptop.

Evan, his wife for all intents and purposes - even though their relationship was more akin to roommates than spouses, was out. Honestly Felix was entirely comfortable with where they were, you got more economic benefits from being a married couple - he didn't necessarily want to push things. Perhaps it was a little depressing, but truly he thought that Hattie was it for him - the one, now she had...passed. He didn't ever think he would truly get over her, hard as it was to think about it.

He could continue with his life, but there was only one Hattie in the world and sadly she wasn't with them any longer.

But Evan...Evan was a lovely human being as far as Felix was concerned, he couldn't think of anybody better to step up to the role of stepmother. They got along, Felix liked her and considered her a friend. It wasn't your typical spousal relationship but Felix thought that was perfectly fine, the Vow had produced hundreds of marriages over the years - did it make any difference for this not to be a typical one?

So he didn't worry about her, because Evan was a grown adult and if she wanted to stay out far be it from him to stop her. Because ringing her and demanding she come home was a dick move and Felix didn't want to behave like an asshole.

Inevitably at the grand old time of one in the morning, Felix headed to bed. Pulling the covers around him, his exhaustion allowed him to drift off easily but when Leonie was ill - he never slept deeply and so he was already stirring by the time that Evan returned to bed. He didn't entirely resist as she curled up to him, just putting it down to a sleepy thing besides he wasn't entirely opposed to platonic cuddling.

The kiss gently pressed to the back of his neck caused him to stiffen though, his comfort radar switching to a code yellow. Sleepily and bleary eyed, he pulled away - turning over and blinking at the blonde. "Evan?" he asked - ever so slightly concerned "Are you alright?"
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Evan Johnson
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Evan Johnson
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Joined: 29 May 2010, 10:02

19 Jul 2016, 04:10 #3

Was she alright? Well... no. She was depressed and she felt out of control. She was lonely, and horny if she was being honest- how long had it been since someone had wanted her? It felt like lifetimes. Matt- well, even when she wasn't sure that he even liked her, she'd always known that he'd wanted her. Even when she was pregnant. Even when she was pregnant with another man's child. She'd always known that, at the very least, she did have that to offer him. And he wanted it (until he didn't.)

But Felix didn't want her. Granted, she didn't ever doubt that he liked her, that he appreciated her, that he respected her. But... what if he decided that he didn't need her anymore? What if he found someone else someday that he wanted? Where would she be then? And... what did it say about her, if Felix could sleep in her bed every night and not even try to kiss her? Wasn't the whole point of this arranged marriage thing to be matched according to compatibility and for love to follow? But it wasn't. Felix didn't want her, and in her experience, when your husband no longer wanted you, he went out and found someone or something he did want, and he left. Evan'd gone through that three times already, and she wasn't willing to live through it again.

Evan sighed softly and nuzzled her nose under Felix's chin. "'ma lil drunk," she mumbled into his skin. "Y'don toush me, Felix." She wiggled her way closer to him, winding her arms around him and pulling him closer. Through her drunken haze, she could register him stiffening, pulling away from her- she knew that she was making him uncomfortable, that this was wrong and destructive. She wasn't even attracted to Felix, honestly. She just... she wanted to be in love with someone again, or at least in lust with them, and Felix was convenient. "Y'don love me." She wound her fingers through his hair. They'd been married for over a year and she had no idea what his hair felt like. How was that right?! Why didn't he ever try to touch her, to pull her closer and feel her skin? What was wrong with her?


NEHM IS A SUPERHERO
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Felix Laurence
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Felix Laurence
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Joined: 21 Apr 2013, 21:42

01 Aug 2016, 18:49 #4

Ah, drunk.

For most of his life, Felix had been teetotal - if only because booze had never really interested him the way that it did a lot of other people. His wife happened to be an adult and capable of making her own choices, but still he inwardly began to start praying that this wouldn't go super far or it would wake Leonie up. Drunk people were surprisingly less easy to deter than sober people, or at least in his limited experience they were anyway. "Well you know," Felix said gently - a hint of frustrated sarcasm slipping into his voice, trying to pull away gently. "I do value consent from both parties," Part of him wondered what this was about, they'd never really spilled their guts to each other as people. It being easier than not just to ignore and just get on with their existence and co-functioning as a pair. It was what it was, Felix had presumed that they were both happy with the arrangement that had been made. If Evan wanted more though, then Felix couldn't give her that.

At the moment, he was very, very confused and he honestly just wanted to go back to sleep!

"I think you're a wonderful human being," Felix said calmly in response to her insistence that he didn't love her. Well it was true, if she was looking for that then she wouldn't get it from him. "I care about you a lot but I have a lot of affection for you," Oh god he was sounding like he belonged in a Victorian melodrama - he was a journalist, why were words so hard? "But I don't love you in any other way than platonic, I don't think you want me in that way either," It seemed that there was only one way that would probably help - though Felix had never anticipated coming out to his drunk wife when she tried to put the moves on him in the early hours of the morning. "I'm asexual by the way, so it's nothing against you - honestly," Was that going to help? Felix had no idea, but he just didn't want to deal with this, Evan was lovely and he really appreciated her partnership but he just wasn't comfortable with well...this sort of element of a relationship.

But that was fine right? Like Felix just wanted things to be fine.
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