And All the Calls Started Snowing

Thomas

And All the Calls Started Snowing

Jesse Allender-Adams
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Joined: Jan 8 2014, 05:58 AM

Jan 12 2015, 03:46 AM #1

December 31st, 2015
7:00 PM

Jesse was frantic.

He paced the floors of the house, back and forth, back and forth, his cellphone clutched tightly in his hand, though there was nothing that that could do.

He had gotten word just as he was leaving work that there had been some sort of giant accident on the roads, and that a lot of people were stuck and injured between Evergreen and Indianapolis, and, well, that morning, Thomas had told Jesse that he was going to head into the city to see his brother. Of course, that had been earlier, right?

On his way home, Jesse had assured himself over and over again that things were fine, that there was no way that this was a big problem, and that Thomas would be home when he got there...but he wasn't, and yeah, that sort of put things into gear for Jesse, and he decided to call. Maybe Thomas had seen the reports, and decided to stay at his brother's, or something like that, so he called...and was met with no answer.

Thomas wasn't here, his car wasn't here, he wasn't answering his phone, he had gone to the city, and there had been...an accident. A huge accident that a lot of people had been in, critical injuries, even deaths had already been reported, and Jesse was here, all by himself, not at all sure what the fuck he was supposed to do. He called Thomas' phone again and again, hoping for something, for an answer, but there was nothing, so he paced.

What if Thomas was hurt? What if there was something really wrong. Oh god, what if he died? This was the first person that Jesse had really ever cared about, the first person to really care about him much at all, and all that he could really think about right now was how awful he felt about the whole thing. He had feelings for Thomas, far greater than he had been able to understand, and admit to himself, let alone say out loud, but he'd been growing closer to him every day, trusting him more. Hell, for Christmas, he'd shown him that by giving him handcuffs, and the promise that he wouldn't try to run again...and that if he did, he wanted Thomas to stop him, because he trusted him.

And now? Now that could all be crashing down around him.

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Thomas Whelan
Thomas Whelan

Jan 13 2015, 10:55 PM #2

Sometimes it was far too easy to throw himself into his work and just forget that the rest of the world outside his darkroom existed. Especially when it was freezing cold outside and he was without a car because Annie, David’s wife had needed to borrow his because David had taken their car on a business trip. She’d been really apologetic about the whole thing but even if Thomas didn’t like her as much as he did, he probably still would have loaned Annie his car anyways because it wasn’t like he was using it for much. He didn’t really like driving at the best of times but particularly not in the winter so it was really no skin off his nose if he was car-less for a while.

So without a car and with Jesse at work, Thomas had gone down to the darkroom to finish off the prints he owed Mel, before she started sending angry text messages again about how he was letting her down and letting the buyers she’d lined up down as well… Of course with Mel, it was sometimes difficult to tell the difference between angry texts and normal texts since she was a big fan of capslock all the time but Thomas was slowly learning to parse out the difference and the last few he’d received were definitely annoyed leaning towards angry.

Standing up from the low table that held his lightbox, Thomas stretched, feeling the muscles in his back protest as he did so. He wasn’t old or infirm by any definition but spending several hours hunched over developer trays and the lightbox was a good way to guarantee he would start feeling the pain before long. Casting a glance at the prints that were already hanging up to dry, Thomas noted how many he’d already done and decided that it was a decent enough number that he was owed a break. And maybe Jesse would be home by now, which would mean that he really should go say hello, make the usual overtures like ‘how was your day, dear’ and all that.

When he opened the door to the basement though, he caught sight of Jesse pacing up and down the hall, phone clutched in his hand and instantly Thomas’ mind went to the worst possibility. “Jesse? Is everything okay? You didn’t get anymore of those texts, did you?”
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Jesse Allender-Adams
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Joined: Jan 8 2014, 05:58 AM

Jan 14 2015, 03:25 AM #3

Jesse didn't hear Thomas coming up the stairs. He didn't here any of those classic tell tale signs that someone else was in the house with him, because he was so busy worrying about the fact that said person wasn't in the house.

He hadn't though to check the dark room, because, well, Thomas' car wasn't there, and if his car wasn't there, than he wasn't there, and Jesse...did have a tendency to jump to the worst case scenario. There had been so many times in his life where that had been exactly what was happening that it was practically second nature to him now, and to go right there, without really thinking about it? That was more than par for the course with him. Sure, maybe he should have checked the whole house before he panicked, but he hadn't, and that was just...well, Jesse, for you.

He whipped around when he heard Thomas speak to him, and he dropped his phone in shock. There was Thomas. Right there. Perfectly unharmed, and jesus, was he glad for that. He didn't think that he'd ever been so glad to see anyone person in his entire life, and the relief that he felt wash over him? It was full of compassion, caring. He wasn't just glad that Thomas was there because that meant that he didn't have to deal with any of the fall out, he was glad because Thomas was okay, and that mattered to him.

A lot.

"What? No, no. No more texts, I..." He gulped, looking at Thomas. He had been truly scared, truly frightened that something horrible had happened, sure that the man that he cared for had been injured, or maybe even killed, and he just...hadn't known what he would do if that were true. He'd be alone again, and now that he had someone, well, this moment had made him realize just how much he didn't want to be alone. "I...I came home, and your car wasn't here, and you'd said you were going into the city, to see your brother, you know?" He was talking very quickly, though looking right at Thomas, and maybe some of the words were getting lost, but he couldn't slow himself down. "And there was this accident, this big, huge accident between here and Indianapolis, and I tried calling you, and calling you, and calling you, and you weren't answering, and I...I..." He couldn't stop the lump rising in his throat, nor the couple of tears that slipped from his eyes. "I thought...that..."

He sniffled, shaking his head, because it was clear that he had overreacted, but he couldn't stop himself. He was feeling so many fucking things right now, and it was hard to combat all of that within him.

And god, now Thomas was going to think he was crazy.

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Thomas Whelan
Thomas Whelan

Jan 16 2015, 12:40 AM #4

“You’ve been alone in the house plenty of times before without me…” So Jesse had thought he wasn’t home; Thomas wasn’t really sure what the problem with that was. Like he’d said, there was plenty of times Jesse had come home from work and Thomas had been out somewhere and that had never posed a problem in the past and Thomas couldn’t figure out why today, that was apparently enough to send Jesse into a panic.

“David cancelled, some business thing suddenly came up. But Annie needed a car and David had theirs so I loaned her mine”

It was a simple enough explanation really. Plans got cancelled all the time and it certainly wasn’t the first time Thomas had loaned his car out to someone who needed it; otherwise for the most part it would just sit in the driveway, collecting rust. Then Jesse mentioned something about an accident and all the pieces began to click into place. There was little point in listening to the radio when he couldn’t hear it so of course Thomas hadn’t heard anything on the news about an accident and while he would sometimes check a news feed throughout the day if he had nothing better to do, he had been way too busy today to even think of doing so.

It made sense though if there’d been a large accident and he was supposed to have driven into Indianapolis and his car wasn’t in the driveway, that Jesse might have assumed that something had happened to him. Stepping forwards, Thomas pulled Jesse into a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around the smaller man’s shoulders. “It’s okay. I’m okay” Maybe this was a sign that he shouldn’t let himself get so wrapped up in his work or just a definitive show of why automatically jumping to the worst conclusion possible was a really bad idea but whatever it was, Thomas could at least acknowledge that Jesse had been scared by his own worst imagination.

“If the traffic’s really as bad out there as you say it is though, maybe it would have been a good thing that I wasn’t answering my phone. It’d mean I was being all responsible and keeping my attention where it should be” He tried to make a joke of it, to lighten the mood, even in the face of such bad news.
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Jesse Allender-Adams
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Joined: Jan 8 2014, 05:58 AM

Jan 18 2015, 02:15 AM #5

Of course Jesse had been in the house alone plenty of times. He wasn't that clingy, that needy. That wasn't the problem, he just wasn't sure how to convey that to the other man. He was so overwhelmed with emotions, and that was something that was so new to him. He wasn't good at that, he wasn't good at feeling things, and he had pushed it away, ignored it, fucking canceled it out for so long that he didn't really think that it would ever be a problem, but it was a problem now, and he wasn't sure exactly what to do with that. He was crazy over the idea that Thomas might have been hurt...and he'd never really thought he'd be able to care about another person like that.

When Thomas spelled it all out for him, god, it seemed so stupid that he had been worked up about it. Thomas had lent his car to a friend, that was all, and here Jesse was, panicking, full on terrified that the man that he cared for, the man that he lived with, the man who fucking loved him was hurt, or worse.

It was an overreaction of epic proportions, and he was in no way capable of seeing it as such right now. He was overwhelmed, and it was driving him fucking nuts.

"Okay, but I..." He didn't even know how to finish that thought, and rather than try, he allowed himself to be pulled against Thomas, comforted by his words. He could see Thomas, he could feel him, he could feel and hear his heart beat, and that was what mattered. Thomas was there, he was safe, he was fine...but that didn't actually counteract all of the feelings that Jesse had had, the ones that he was having, and he didn't really know what to do with those. It was all strange, new territory, and he didn't know what was going to come of it...at all.

"But that's just it," he said, sniffling as he pulled back, tears still in his eyes as he looked at Thomas. "I wasn't thinking rationally about it, I just knew there was an accident, a huge one, and I couldn't get ahold of you, and you were supposed to be there...in the city, and I just..." He gulped, shaking his head. "I don't even know how to say what I'm feeling right now," he admitted. "For you..." It was new, it was strange, it was a whole new level of emotions, and of commitment from him. "I can't lose you," he said, the words barely making it out before he moved back against Thomas, kissing him deeply.

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Thomas Whelan
Thomas Whelan

Jan 19 2015, 09:01 PM #6

It wasn’t always easy to separate the rational from the emotional; Thomas knew that from firsthand experience. So he could somewhat understand why Jesse was upset, even if the logical part of him said that this was all a bit ridiculous. Jesse had thought that something bad had happened to him and that had been enough to work himself up into a right state, even though Thomas was standing in front of him, telling him that he was just fine and there was nothing for Jesse to be worried about.

“I’m not going anywhere” Thomas grinned, pushing some of the hair that was sticking to Jesse’s cheeks out of his face. He wasn’t sure what else could be done to convince Jesse that he was okay so he settled for kissing Jesse back, slipping an arm around his back.

For someone who had been so adamant that he couldn’t love Thomas, to the point of nearly running away when the idea of Thomas loving him had been brought up, Jesse’s reaction to Thomas’ non-injuries seemed to say a lot more than his words ever did. They were going to have to talk about this eventually but today probably wasn’t the day to bring it up. Jesse needed time to work through whatever he was feeling right now and Thomas saying anything towards that particular matter would probably just prompt another argument between them, which was probably the last thing they needed right now.

“Next time I change my plans, I’ll let you know, okay?” Another thing that Thomas didn’t really understand the need for but if it mattered that much to Jesse, then he would do it. He also made a note to himself to keep his cellphone closer at hand so if Jesse did need to get in touch with him for… whatever reason, he would actually be able to receive the messages, rather than have it sitting somewhere (like the kitchen counter) where he would have no idea if messages had been coming in or not.
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Jesse Allender-Adams
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Joined: Jan 8 2014, 05:58 AM

Jan 19 2015, 09:24 PM #7

Jesse felt bad about all of this, like it was all one big over reaction, and he...he was new to that, to having feelings for someone to the point of full on freaking out, and having things go haywire all over the place. He liked Thomas, he cared about him a lot, they shared a bed together, and a home, and a life, and all of that was so fucking important to him, but maybe he hadn't realized just how much until, well, it had all been threatened (or so he had thought) but an accident that Thomas had never even been in to begin with. Jesse had overreacted, and he knew that, but he couldn't push down the feelings he was having.

He wasn't in love, he couldn't be. He didn't know what love was, or how it worked, and he knew better than to assume something was love. He was terrified of the thing, and certain that it would never fully be his. He didn't know how to face that, though, and he hoped that at the end of the day, he would be able to figure it out. He was currently blind to the fact that this emotion, this panic at the thought of losing Thomas, or something bad happening to him, might be the beginnings of love. It was a hard thing for him to face, because every time he opened up to Thomas, every moment that he let him in more, he was opening himself up to getting hurt again.

"No, it's...I'm overreacting," Jesse stated, looking up at him, taking a couple of deep breaths to calm down. It was true, he was, but he was happy that Thomas was there, and he just wanted to make sure that Thomas knew that he cared, that he felt he mattered.

He put his hand on Thomas' chest, looking at him. Thomas was gorgeous, and he was kind, and he put up with all of the things that Jesse hated about himself, the things that he didn't understand, or now how to get over. He smiled at him, sniffling, reaching up, wiping away the last of his tears, because Thomas was here, there was nothing to be upset about. "Thank you," he said softly before leaning up, kissing him again, this time longer, this time deeper. Maybe he had some things that he had to figure out, but right now, he was just happy to know that he had someone in his life to care about, someone that would take care of him, even when he was freaking out over nothing...and he knew that, at some point, he was going to have to tell Thomas the rest of things.

There were still some little pieces that he held close to the chest, because he was afraid, and now wasn't the time, but at least he knew that the time was coming. He trusted Thomas. And that, for Jesse, was huge.

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