And All the Calls Started Snowing

Thomas

And All the Calls Started Snowing

Jesse Allender-Adams
Advanced Member
Joined: 08 Jan 2014, 05:58

12 Jan 2015, 03:46 #1

December 31st, 2015
7:00 PM

Jesse was frantic.

He paced the floors of the house, back and forth, back and forth, his cellphone clutched tightly in his hand, though there was nothing that that could do.

He had gotten word just as he was leaving work that there had been some sort of giant accident on the roads, and that a lot of people were stuck and injured between Evergreen and Indianapolis, and, well, that morning, Thomas had told Jesse that he was going to head into the city to see his brother. Of course, that had been earlier, right?

On his way home, Jesse had assured himself over and over again that things were fine, that there was no way that this was a big problem, and that Thomas would be home when he got there...but he wasn't, and yeah, that sort of put things into gear for Jesse, and he decided to call. Maybe Thomas had seen the reports, and decided to stay at his brother's, or something like that, so he called...and was met with no answer.

Thomas wasn't here, his car wasn't here, he wasn't answering his phone, he had gone to the city, and there had been...an accident. A huge accident that a lot of people had been in, critical injuries, even deaths had already been reported, and Jesse was here, all by himself, not at all sure what the fuck he was supposed to do. He called Thomas' phone again and again, hoping for something, for an answer, but there was nothing, so he paced.

What if Thomas was hurt? What if there was something really wrong. Oh god, what if he died? This was the first person that Jesse had really ever cared about, the first person to really care about him much at all, and all that he could really think about right now was how awful he felt about the whole thing. He had feelings for Thomas, far greater than he had been able to understand, and admit to himself, let alone say out loud, but he'd been growing closer to him every day, trusting him more. Hell, for Christmas, he'd shown him that by giving him handcuffs, and the promise that he wouldn't try to run again...and that if he did, he wanted Thomas to stop him, because he trusted him.

And now? Now that could all be crashing down around him.

graphics by Kaye!
Reply
Like

Jesse Allender-Adams
Advanced Member
Joined: 08 Jan 2014, 05:58

14 Jan 2015, 03:25 #3

Jesse didn't hear Thomas coming up the stairs. He didn't here any of those classic tell tale signs that someone else was in the house with him, because he was so busy worrying about the fact that said person wasn't in the house.

He hadn't though to check the dark room, because, well, Thomas' car wasn't there, and if his car wasn't there, than he wasn't there, and Jesse...did have a tendency to jump to the worst case scenario. There had been so many times in his life where that had been exactly what was happening that it was practically second nature to him now, and to go right there, without really thinking about it? That was more than par for the course with him. Sure, maybe he should have checked the whole house before he panicked, but he hadn't, and that was just...well, Jesse, for you.

He whipped around when he heard Thomas speak to him, and he dropped his phone in shock. There was Thomas. Right there. Perfectly unharmed, and jesus, was he glad for that. He didn't think that he'd ever been so glad to see anyone person in his entire life, and the relief that he felt wash over him? It was full of compassion, caring. He wasn't just glad that Thomas was there because that meant that he didn't have to deal with any of the fall out, he was glad because Thomas was okay, and that mattered to him.

A lot.

"What? No, no. No more texts, I..." He gulped, looking at Thomas. He had been truly scared, truly frightened that something horrible had happened, sure that the man that he cared for had been injured, or maybe even killed, and he just...hadn't known what he would do if that were true. He'd be alone again, and now that he had someone, well, this moment had made him realize just how much he didn't want to be alone. "I...I came home, and your car wasn't here, and you'd said you were going into the city, to see your brother, you know?" He was talking very quickly, though looking right at Thomas, and maybe some of the words were getting lost, but he couldn't slow himself down. "And there was this accident, this big, huge accident between here and Indianapolis, and I tried calling you, and calling you, and calling you, and you weren't answering, and I...I..." He couldn't stop the lump rising in his throat, nor the couple of tears that slipped from his eyes. "I thought...that..."

He sniffled, shaking his head, because it was clear that he had overreacted, but he couldn't stop himself. He was feeling so many fucking things right now, and it was hard to combat all of that within him.

And god, now Thomas was going to think he was crazy.

graphics by Kaye!
Reply
Like

Jesse Allender-Adams
Advanced Member
Joined: 08 Jan 2014, 05:58

18 Jan 2015, 02:15 #5

Of course Jesse had been in the house alone plenty of times. He wasn't that clingy, that needy. That wasn't the problem, he just wasn't sure how to convey that to the other man. He was so overwhelmed with emotions, and that was something that was so new to him. He wasn't good at that, he wasn't good at feeling things, and he had pushed it away, ignored it, fucking canceled it out for so long that he didn't really think that it would ever be a problem, but it was a problem now, and he wasn't sure exactly what to do with that. He was crazy over the idea that Thomas might have been hurt...and he'd never really thought he'd be able to care about another person like that.

When Thomas spelled it all out for him, god, it seemed so stupid that he had been worked up about it. Thomas had lent his car to a friend, that was all, and here Jesse was, panicking, full on terrified that the man that he cared for, the man that he lived with, the man who fucking loved him was hurt, or worse.

It was an overreaction of epic proportions, and he was in no way capable of seeing it as such right now. He was overwhelmed, and it was driving him fucking nuts.

"Okay, but I..." He didn't even know how to finish that thought, and rather than try, he allowed himself to be pulled against Thomas, comforted by his words. He could see Thomas, he could feel him, he could feel and hear his heart beat, and that was what mattered. Thomas was there, he was safe, he was fine...but that didn't actually counteract all of the feelings that Jesse had had, the ones that he was having, and he didn't really know what to do with those. It was all strange, new territory, and he didn't know what was going to come of it...at all.

"But that's just it," he said, sniffling as he pulled back, tears still in his eyes as he looked at Thomas. "I wasn't thinking rationally about it, I just knew there was an accident, a huge one, and I couldn't get ahold of you, and you were supposed to be there...in the city, and I just..." He gulped, shaking his head. "I don't even know how to say what I'm feeling right now," he admitted. "For you..." It was new, it was strange, it was a whole new level of emotions, and of commitment from him. "I can't lose you," he said, the words barely making it out before he moved back against Thomas, kissing him deeply.

graphics by Kaye!
Reply
Like

Jesse Allender-Adams
Advanced Member
Joined: 08 Jan 2014, 05:58

19 Jan 2015, 21:24 #7

Jesse felt bad about all of this, like it was all one big over reaction, and he...he was new to that, to having feelings for someone to the point of full on freaking out, and having things go haywire all over the place. He liked Thomas, he cared about him a lot, they shared a bed together, and a home, and a life, and all of that was so fucking important to him, but maybe he hadn't realized just how much until, well, it had all been threatened (or so he had thought) but an accident that Thomas had never even been in to begin with. Jesse had overreacted, and he knew that, but he couldn't push down the feelings he was having.

He wasn't in love, he couldn't be. He didn't know what love was, or how it worked, and he knew better than to assume something was love. He was terrified of the thing, and certain that it would never fully be his. He didn't know how to face that, though, and he hoped that at the end of the day, he would be able to figure it out. He was currently blind to the fact that this emotion, this panic at the thought of losing Thomas, or something bad happening to him, might be the beginnings of love. It was a hard thing for him to face, because every time he opened up to Thomas, every moment that he let him in more, he was opening himself up to getting hurt again.

"No, it's...I'm overreacting," Jesse stated, looking up at him, taking a couple of deep breaths to calm down. It was true, he was, but he was happy that Thomas was there, and he just wanted to make sure that Thomas knew that he cared, that he felt he mattered.

He put his hand on Thomas' chest, looking at him. Thomas was gorgeous, and he was kind, and he put up with all of the things that Jesse hated about himself, the things that he didn't understand, or now how to get over. He smiled at him, sniffling, reaching up, wiping away the last of his tears, because Thomas was here, there was nothing to be upset about. "Thank you," he said softly before leaning up, kissing him again, this time longer, this time deeper. Maybe he had some things that he had to figure out, but right now, he was just happy to know that he had someone in his life to care about, someone that would take care of him, even when he was freaking out over nothing...and he knew that, at some point, he was going to have to tell Thomas the rest of things.

There were still some little pieces that he held close to the chest, because he was afraid, and now wasn't the time, but at least he knew that the time was coming. He trusted Thomas. And that, for Jesse, was huge.

graphics by Kaye!
Reply
Like