The Return of The Sarge!

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The Return of The Sarge!

OGRE3000
Registered User
Joined: 06 Jun 2001, 09:01

04 Mar 2008, 09:54 #1

This is the reworking of my original story, "A 'Bot Named Sarge" from the past. This version is a reboot in comic book script form. Hope you guys like it.

A 'Bot Named Sarge
Splash page: Huge, fierce 30 foot tall warbot firing a huge blaster on a futuristic battlefield, rounds and tracers flying all around him. (Sarge looks like if a Transformer was made out of a WW II soldier, hes green-with camo, roughly humanoid, wears a helmet with a sgts stripes and carries a giant blaster and has a backpack.)
Page 1)
Panel 1) Smaller version of the splash page, a bit different, word bubble: OVER THE TOP BOYS!!!
P2) The warbot clicking a button on his blaster, a huge wicked-looking bayonet shooting out from under the barrel. WB: GIVE EM COLD STEEL!
P3) The bot seems to almost grin and runs over the ridge. Word Panel: Yeah, that handsome hunk of steel, iron and alloys you are looking at is yours truly, Blitzkrieg Model 441155/A2/A3/M12A. But, you can call me Sarge.
P4) Rockets fly down over the next hollow from the enemys position: SFX: WHOOSH-KHUMMM!!!
P5) The warbots hold out their left hands, chaff and flares pop out and the rockets explode.
P6) Sarge and his fellow bots run forward, blasters firing full-auto.
P7) Close-up of Sarges near human-looking face, WB: I almost felt sorry for the lil monkeys, but they started it.
Page 2)
P Sarge reaches a pill-box, bullets and rockets bouncing off his metal mechanical body.
P9) Gets a grip, rips the top off. Enemy soldiers scatter.
P10) Drops a grenade from a fingertip.
P11) Does a short jet hop and lands.
P12) Close silhouette of Sarge in the flames of the explosion behind him.
Page 3)
P13) Stops, does a scan of the area: Cool visual SFX.
P14) Sees a hot spot. WB: Oh, whats this they're hiding? The HQ? A silo?
P15) Jet hops over to a hatch cover, about 40 feet across and round.
P16) Looks down at it. Thought balloon: Shielded, armored and unreadable. Nice...
P17) Bends down and grip the edges.
P1 Lurches with surprise as it goes up easy.
Page 3)
P19) Cables like steel tentacles come out of the silo.
P20) Wrap around Sarge.
P21) Clamps on to him with full force: SFX KLANG!!! Sarge, WB: "YE GODS!!!"
P22) Yanks him towards the hole, his metal combat boots scraping the dirt, dust flying up.
P23) The cables yank harder and whip him inside.
P24) The lid comes down hard: SFX: DOOOMMM!!!
Page 4)
P25) Cut-away view of the silo, with Sarge inside, wrapped up in the cables.
P26) Sarge struggles with them to no avail.
P27) Theres a noise and the silo begins to rumble.
P2 Shaking off dirt, the silo begins to come out of the ground.
P29) Fully out of the ground, we can now see the silo is a container with rockets on the bottom.
P30) The silo rises up and zooms up in to the sky and off the planet.
P31) Soon, its very far away, from our POV, we can barely see it. Sarge, Thought Balloon: Wellllll, shit...
(End of Part 1)
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ecgordon
Registered User
Joined: 28 Jul 2000, 12:08

05 Mar 2008, 13:08 #2

Pretty good, Ogre. When will we see the graphics?
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OGRE3000
Registered User
Joined: 06 Jun 2001, 09:01

20 Mar 2008, 04:48 #3

Aww, thanks! I guess I will have to get an artist locally to take an interest. I know a few but not sure when or if that will happen. I need my pc back (been kaput since New Year's Eve) to write more, it's got all my notes!
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azsandman
Registered User
Joined: 17 Jan 2009, 18:19

29 Jan 2009, 01:36 #4

I like it! It sounds some like a pc game I play on an old 75mz pc. Except there you got a commander yelling at you for screwing up and you can never quite get
the angle for the airships. The almost human face tho, wow! when you get the graphics done let me know.
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