waving hello

waving hello

Joined: April 6th, 2008, 11:11 pm

July 12th, 2012, 1:38 am #1

Hey, there, old friends and fellow loomies,

Oh my goodness. I cannot even think how long it has been since I posted on here, or even really had time to lurk. My computer time has been a bit more limited than it used to be and I have been trying very hard not to think about my hair at all, but I do miss the community here. I just started reading some of the past posts, but there are so many, I do not even know where to start.

There is so much I would like to respond to, but most of my responses would be so late, I fear no one would see them...and I am too far behind to catch up. I just wish all of you peace and joy and beauty and strength and every other good thing. And you all look stunning, of course.

I have very little to say about my own hair. I am not especially happy with it. It is still at tailbone--I just keep trimming it back. It hasn't been shedding much (except a little extra recently because I ran out of iron and delayed buying more) but it hasn't thickened up again, either. I just wish my hairline would grow in better. That truly would be nice. But I try to just remember it is only hair, after all. Or something.

As far as life in general goes...it goes. That is all I will say right now.

I really, really, really do miss all of you. I think when I first joined the Loom, I became a little too obsessed with my hair, trying to grow it to fairy tale perfection. It had almost always been long, but never as long as I hoped. I think I was not (and still am not) dealing well with aging, and desperately wanted something I could improve about my looks when it seemed like everything else was, mmm, *un*improving. And the my hair starting falling out and it became just one more thing to feel bad about. I do not want anyone to take this the wrong way--because I have always been insecure about my appearance and was an extremely ugly duckling in those brutal teenage years--but as an adult, I often felt like the only thing I was good at was being pretty. I have always had a lot of serious health problems and as a result I have almost always felt like a failure in life. And if you are in a room full of people and you are feeling worthless because you just had to stop school (again) or leave your job (again) or cannot risk getting pregnant when everyone else is starting their families, or whatever, it helped, a little, to think "at least I have my looks." My little sister, who has had a very tragic life, perhaps the most tragic of anyone I know well, was once crying because she hated getting older because the only thing she had even been good at was being beautiful and now she wasn't even that. And it broke my heart (even though she is still totally gorgeous). But I could not say that I felt much differently.

It is just amazing to me how much power this holds over me, over women in general. I have no shortage of real problems in my life, and no shortage of meaningful or useful things I could be doing, and yet I spend half of my mental energy worrying about how I look, in a very negative sense.

Anyway, I am sure all of this makes me sound like vain, horribly self obsessed little creature, which no doubt I am. I do realize that I am very, very lucky to still have hair, and that I am still cute enough, and just generally very lucky in life in too many ways to count. I just wanted to explain why I have been trying to dwell less on my hair. I thought of writing something like this months ago, but I feel a little uncomfortable being so vulnerable, and also silly because I am really hardly old and scared that it might hurt the feelings of anyone older than me. But I feel like I owe everyone an explanation.

Whew! Well, I had better post this before I chicken out. Much love to all of you. I know that many of your are dealing with true hardship right now and I will be praying for you.

Best wishes,

winterwren

edited to fix typos
Last edited by winterwren on July 12th, 2012, 3:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: January 26th, 2005, 12:27 am

July 12th, 2012, 2:50 am #2

I get what you are saying. I think all of us here are a tad obsessed with our hair, or we would not be on this board? I miss your posts and you! If you can find the time, hang out more please.

April 2012

October 2011

August 2011


1BFii
Hair: All natural dark brown and silver.
Washing: Once or twice a week. Condition from ears on down. Cold as I can stand it final rinse. Shampoo/Conditioner:Aubrey's Honeysuckle Rose Shampoo and Conditioner. Nature's Gate Organics Biotin Shampoo and Conditioner.
Wide tooth comb.
Kind Regards,
lacemitts
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Joined: April 6th, 2008, 11:11 pm

July 12th, 2012, 3:09 am #3

Thank you for understanding. I guess you are right about everyone here being a little obsessed with our hair, as it is a long hair board. I hope no one thinks I am saying that the love of long hair is trivial or anything like that, or unhealthy. I just felt like I was getting kind of obsessed in a bad way that felt heavy, rather than in a fun, positive, pampering way.

Your hair and your house look as lovely as always. Can I ask, is your wallpaper original to the house or did you put that in? It looks so wonderfully ornate and old fashioned (as does your house in general.)

I miss you, too! I will try to come around more often.

winterwren
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Joined: January 26th, 2005, 12:27 am

July 12th, 2012, 8:38 am #4

My brother did almost all the wallpaper in the house before he passed away. A lot of it was ordered from old historical patterns though.

April 2012

October 2011

August 2011


1BFii
Hair: All natural dark brown and silver.
Washing: Once or twice a week. Condition from ears on down. Cold as I can stand it final rinse. Shampoo/Conditioner:Aubrey's Honeysuckle Rose Shampoo and Conditioner. Nature's Gate Organics Biotin Shampoo and Conditioner.
Wide tooth comb.
Kind Regards,
lacemitts
Last edited by lacemitts on July 12th, 2012, 8:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: December 8th, 2006, 7:17 pm

July 12th, 2012, 1:11 pm #5

Hey, there, old friends and fellow loomies,

Oh my goodness. I cannot even think how long it has been since I posted on here, or even really had time to lurk. My computer time has been a bit more limited than it used to be and I have been trying very hard not to think about my hair at all, but I do miss the community here. I just started reading some of the past posts, but there are so many, I do not even know where to start.

There is so much I would like to respond to, but most of my responses would be so late, I fear no one would see them...and I am too far behind to catch up. I just wish all of you peace and joy and beauty and strength and every other good thing. And you all look stunning, of course.

I have very little to say about my own hair. I am not especially happy with it. It is still at tailbone--I just keep trimming it back. It hasn't been shedding much (except a little extra recently because I ran out of iron and delayed buying more) but it hasn't thickened up again, either. I just wish my hairline would grow in better. That truly would be nice. But I try to just remember it is only hair, after all. Or something.

As far as life in general goes...it goes. That is all I will say right now.

I really, really, really do miss all of you. I think when I first joined the Loom, I became a little too obsessed with my hair, trying to grow it to fairy tale perfection. It had almost always been long, but never as long as I hoped. I think I was not (and still am not) dealing well with aging, and desperately wanted something I could improve about my looks when it seemed like everything else was, mmm, *un*improving. And the my hair starting falling out and it became just one more thing to feel bad about. I do not want anyone to take this the wrong way--because I have always been insecure about my appearance and was an extremely ugly duckling in those brutal teenage years--but as an adult, I often felt like the only thing I was good at was being pretty. I have always had a lot of serious health problems and as a result I have almost always felt like a failure in life. And if you are in a room full of people and you are feeling worthless because you just had to stop school (again) or leave your job (again) or cannot risk getting pregnant when everyone else is starting their families, or whatever, it helped, a little, to think "at least I have my looks." My little sister, who has had a very tragic life, perhaps the most tragic of anyone I know well, was once crying because she hated getting older because the only thing she had even been good at was being beautiful and now she wasn't even that. And it broke my heart (even though she is still totally gorgeous). But I could not say that I felt much differently.

It is just amazing to me how much power this holds over me, over women in general. I have no shortage of real problems in my life, and no shortage of meaningful or useful things I could be doing, and yet I spend half of my mental energy worrying about how I look, in a very negative sense.

Anyway, I am sure all of this makes me sound like vain, horribly self obsessed little creature, which no doubt I am. I do realize that I am very, very lucky to still have hair, and that I am still cute enough, and just generally very lucky in life in too many ways to count. I just wanted to explain why I have been trying to dwell less on my hair. I thought of writing something like this months ago, but I feel a little uncomfortable being so vulnerable, and also silly because I am really hardly old and scared that it might hurt the feelings of anyone older than me. But I feel like I owe everyone an explanation.

Whew! Well, I had better post this before I chicken out. Much love to all of you. I know that many of your are dealing with true hardship right now and I will be praying for you.

Best wishes,

winterwren

edited to fix typos
What a wonderfully frank letter. And how good to see you. Aging is hard. I know. I'm older than you. Being concerned about losing our youthful glow and accepting the passing and effects of time is normal. I don't think you are vain at all. I think that you are exposing the secret rants of us who were younger. When I wear my hair down in public and feel it swish across my back I feel sexy! That is a rare feeling that comes less and less as I age. My hair is what makes me feel beautiful. There is nothing wrong with that. Welcome back you were missed!

Christmas 08 April 09

Close up of my gray hair.

Oil on ends just before combing to help with snarls, 2x a day.

Shampoo every 5 days
Experimenting with ACV, coconut oil, and honey.

Started measuring August 06, at 36.5 inches
1cCii ~ Natural Silver

I am 54 year old and I've been married for 35 years!!

July 1st 07 - Reached 40 inches
July 14 07 - Cut back to 36.5
August 3rd 08 - Reached 40 inches again.
January 1 09 Reached 43 and classic achieved! Cut for a better hemline.
April thru June 40 still. sigh...
March 2010 Classic!!!

36.5/42.5/Classic

Faithful to barbers - they actually trim 1/8th of an inch!!
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Joined: March 23rd, 2006, 4:47 pm

July 12th, 2012, 3:36 pm #6

Hey, there, old friends and fellow loomies,

Oh my goodness. I cannot even think how long it has been since I posted on here, or even really had time to lurk. My computer time has been a bit more limited than it used to be and I have been trying very hard not to think about my hair at all, but I do miss the community here. I just started reading some of the past posts, but there are so many, I do not even know where to start.

There is so much I would like to respond to, but most of my responses would be so late, I fear no one would see them...and I am too far behind to catch up. I just wish all of you peace and joy and beauty and strength and every other good thing. And you all look stunning, of course.

I have very little to say about my own hair. I am not especially happy with it. It is still at tailbone--I just keep trimming it back. It hasn't been shedding much (except a little extra recently because I ran out of iron and delayed buying more) but it hasn't thickened up again, either. I just wish my hairline would grow in better. That truly would be nice. But I try to just remember it is only hair, after all. Or something.

As far as life in general goes...it goes. That is all I will say right now.

I really, really, really do miss all of you. I think when I first joined the Loom, I became a little too obsessed with my hair, trying to grow it to fairy tale perfection. It had almost always been long, but never as long as I hoped. I think I was not (and still am not) dealing well with aging, and desperately wanted something I could improve about my looks when it seemed like everything else was, mmm, *un*improving. And the my hair starting falling out and it became just one more thing to feel bad about. I do not want anyone to take this the wrong way--because I have always been insecure about my appearance and was an extremely ugly duckling in those brutal teenage years--but as an adult, I often felt like the only thing I was good at was being pretty. I have always had a lot of serious health problems and as a result I have almost always felt like a failure in life. And if you are in a room full of people and you are feeling worthless because you just had to stop school (again) or leave your job (again) or cannot risk getting pregnant when everyone else is starting their families, or whatever, it helped, a little, to think "at least I have my looks." My little sister, who has had a very tragic life, perhaps the most tragic of anyone I know well, was once crying because she hated getting older because the only thing she had even been good at was being beautiful and now she wasn't even that. And it broke my heart (even though she is still totally gorgeous). But I could not say that I felt much differently.

It is just amazing to me how much power this holds over me, over women in general. I have no shortage of real problems in my life, and no shortage of meaningful or useful things I could be doing, and yet I spend half of my mental energy worrying about how I look, in a very negative sense.

Anyway, I am sure all of this makes me sound like vain, horribly self obsessed little creature, which no doubt I am. I do realize that I am very, very lucky to still have hair, and that I am still cute enough, and just generally very lucky in life in too many ways to count. I just wanted to explain why I have been trying to dwell less on my hair. I thought of writing something like this months ago, but I feel a little uncomfortable being so vulnerable, and also silly because I am really hardly old and scared that it might hurt the feelings of anyone older than me. But I feel like I owe everyone an explanation.

Whew! Well, I had better post this before I chicken out. Much love to all of you. I know that many of your are dealing with true hardship right now and I will be praying for you.

Best wishes,

winterwren

edited to fix typos
I can understand where you are coming from!

You have been missed and I, for one, am glad you are back...hopefully more often, too!

Hugs, winterwren!!

Gentle Care for Healthy Hair!
1aFii 24.5"/40"/classic (44")

February 2012 - 38.5"


Shampoo Wednesday and Sunday nights - my homemade formula or Suave Naturals
ACV rinse - infused with mint, basil, rosemary and sage w/ lemon EO after shampooing
Conditioner - Suave Naturals as a leave-in

Deep conditioning - every weekend - shea butter, coconut oil, jojoba oil &/or Africas Best Herbal oil usually left on from Saturday evening to my Sunday wash - Fruit of the Earth 100% Aloe Vera gel glossing and setting gel - Vidal Sasson BBB Revlon wide toothed comb

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Life Verse:
Joyful in hope,
Patient in affliction,
Faithful in prayer.
Romans 12: 12

Life Chapter: Proverbs 31

http://blissbybluerose.blogspot.com/

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Joined: May 1st, 2006, 4:31 am

July 12th, 2012, 7:05 pm #7

Hey, there, old friends and fellow loomies,

Oh my goodness. I cannot even think how long it has been since I posted on here, or even really had time to lurk. My computer time has been a bit more limited than it used to be and I have been trying very hard not to think about my hair at all, but I do miss the community here. I just started reading some of the past posts, but there are so many, I do not even know where to start.

There is so much I would like to respond to, but most of my responses would be so late, I fear no one would see them...and I am too far behind to catch up. I just wish all of you peace and joy and beauty and strength and every other good thing. And you all look stunning, of course.

I have very little to say about my own hair. I am not especially happy with it. It is still at tailbone--I just keep trimming it back. It hasn't been shedding much (except a little extra recently because I ran out of iron and delayed buying more) but it hasn't thickened up again, either. I just wish my hairline would grow in better. That truly would be nice. But I try to just remember it is only hair, after all. Or something.

As far as life in general goes...it goes. That is all I will say right now.

I really, really, really do miss all of you. I think when I first joined the Loom, I became a little too obsessed with my hair, trying to grow it to fairy tale perfection. It had almost always been long, but never as long as I hoped. I think I was not (and still am not) dealing well with aging, and desperately wanted something I could improve about my looks when it seemed like everything else was, mmm, *un*improving. And the my hair starting falling out and it became just one more thing to feel bad about. I do not want anyone to take this the wrong way--because I have always been insecure about my appearance and was an extremely ugly duckling in those brutal teenage years--but as an adult, I often felt like the only thing I was good at was being pretty. I have always had a lot of serious health problems and as a result I have almost always felt like a failure in life. And if you are in a room full of people and you are feeling worthless because you just had to stop school (again) or leave your job (again) or cannot risk getting pregnant when everyone else is starting their families, or whatever, it helped, a little, to think "at least I have my looks." My little sister, who has had a very tragic life, perhaps the most tragic of anyone I know well, was once crying because she hated getting older because the only thing she had even been good at was being beautiful and now she wasn't even that. And it broke my heart (even though she is still totally gorgeous). But I could not say that I felt much differently.

It is just amazing to me how much power this holds over me, over women in general. I have no shortage of real problems in my life, and no shortage of meaningful or useful things I could be doing, and yet I spend half of my mental energy worrying about how I look, in a very negative sense.

Anyway, I am sure all of this makes me sound like vain, horribly self obsessed little creature, which no doubt I am. I do realize that I am very, very lucky to still have hair, and that I am still cute enough, and just generally very lucky in life in too many ways to count. I just wanted to explain why I have been trying to dwell less on my hair. I thought of writing something like this months ago, but I feel a little uncomfortable being so vulnerable, and also silly because I am really hardly old and scared that it might hurt the feelings of anyone older than me. But I feel like I owe everyone an explanation.

Whew! Well, I had better post this before I chicken out. Much love to all of you. I know that many of your are dealing with true hardship right now and I will be praying for you.

Best wishes,

winterwren

edited to fix typos
your post. Seriously. I struggle with aging and losing any looks I may have once had. I struggle with feeling worthless and even going to church is a struggle because I feel like the ugly duckling there compared to my peers. I mean, I have long hair (horror or horrors at my age) and I don't dye my silvers (double horror).

But our worth isn't based on our looks or our dress size or what education we have or on what we achieve in life. We might think at times that it is - but those things only bring temporary satisfaction. Our worth is based on who we are in Christ and what He has done for us.

Like Lacemitts said, stick around. We love having you here and have missed you dearly.







Progress from June 2006 - January 2011

2a/M/ii
Mid-Dark brown with natural red and silver highlights; fringe/bangs.
Starting length: 25"/62.5cm (BSL)
Current length: 33.5" (Cut back from 38.5" February 2011 following a massive shed.)
New Goal: Healthy hair that I'm happy with!

Current routine: Scalp wash every second to third day using Chagrin Valley shampoo bars. Finish with acidic rinse (1 tsp ACV or lime juice to 1 to 2 cups of water or herbal tea). Full wash once a week using A'kin conditioner or an egg wash to cleanse the length and shampoo bars or A'kin shampoo on the scalp.
Other: Oiling when required with avocado and almond oil or shea butter; regular micro-trims; BBB; wooden comb; Mason Pearson comb; hair sticks, Flexi-8's, Ficcare, and other hair friendly toys.

'Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfailing beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.' 1 Peter 3:3-4

My Website

On Eagles' Wings (My Blog)

My Method for Scalp Washes


Hair Journey Began in June 2006 ...

Hair Type: 2a/M/ii
Hair Colour: Dark brown with natural red and silver highlights (more silver than red nowadays)
Starting length: 25"/62.5cm (BSL)
Initial Goal length: 36" (Tailbone)
Setback: Major shed in 2010 when at 38"
New Goal: Healthy hair that I'm happy with! (Preferably tailbone with thick hemline.)

Current Routine
CWCA: C = condition the length with conditioner or shea butter; W = wash the scalp using diluted organic shampoo; Condition = small amount of conditioner on ends; A = acidic rinse, either ACV or citric acid; Frequency = once a week. In-between times, scalp washes as required.
Tips for super soft hair = Wash with Miracle Water. Finish up with LOC (Liquid = water; Oil = almond/olive/avocado oils; Cream = aloe vera gel)
Other: Regular micro-trims; light oiling on dry hair a few times a week; BBB; wooden comb; Mason Pearson comb; hair sticks, Flexi-8's, Ficcare, and other hair friendly toys.


'Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfailing beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.' 1 Peter 3:3-4
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Joined: November 11th, 2009, 8:52 pm

July 12th, 2012, 11:37 pm #8

Hey, there, old friends and fellow loomies,

Oh my goodness. I cannot even think how long it has been since I posted on here, or even really had time to lurk. My computer time has been a bit more limited than it used to be and I have been trying very hard not to think about my hair at all, but I do miss the community here. I just started reading some of the past posts, but there are so many, I do not even know where to start.

There is so much I would like to respond to, but most of my responses would be so late, I fear no one would see them...and I am too far behind to catch up. I just wish all of you peace and joy and beauty and strength and every other good thing. And you all look stunning, of course.

I have very little to say about my own hair. I am not especially happy with it. It is still at tailbone--I just keep trimming it back. It hasn't been shedding much (except a little extra recently because I ran out of iron and delayed buying more) but it hasn't thickened up again, either. I just wish my hairline would grow in better. That truly would be nice. But I try to just remember it is only hair, after all. Or something.

As far as life in general goes...it goes. That is all I will say right now.

I really, really, really do miss all of you. I think when I first joined the Loom, I became a little too obsessed with my hair, trying to grow it to fairy tale perfection. It had almost always been long, but never as long as I hoped. I think I was not (and still am not) dealing well with aging, and desperately wanted something I could improve about my looks when it seemed like everything else was, mmm, *un*improving. And the my hair starting falling out and it became just one more thing to feel bad about. I do not want anyone to take this the wrong way--because I have always been insecure about my appearance and was an extremely ugly duckling in those brutal teenage years--but as an adult, I often felt like the only thing I was good at was being pretty. I have always had a lot of serious health problems and as a result I have almost always felt like a failure in life. And if you are in a room full of people and you are feeling worthless because you just had to stop school (again) or leave your job (again) or cannot risk getting pregnant when everyone else is starting their families, or whatever, it helped, a little, to think "at least I have my looks." My little sister, who has had a very tragic life, perhaps the most tragic of anyone I know well, was once crying because she hated getting older because the only thing she had even been good at was being beautiful and now she wasn't even that. And it broke my heart (even though she is still totally gorgeous). But I could not say that I felt much differently.

It is just amazing to me how much power this holds over me, over women in general. I have no shortage of real problems in my life, and no shortage of meaningful or useful things I could be doing, and yet I spend half of my mental energy worrying about how I look, in a very negative sense.

Anyway, I am sure all of this makes me sound like vain, horribly self obsessed little creature, which no doubt I am. I do realize that I am very, very lucky to still have hair, and that I am still cute enough, and just generally very lucky in life in too many ways to count. I just wanted to explain why I have been trying to dwell less on my hair. I thought of writing something like this months ago, but I feel a little uncomfortable being so vulnerable, and also silly because I am really hardly old and scared that it might hurt the feelings of anyone older than me. But I feel like I owe everyone an explanation.

Whew! Well, I had better post this before I chicken out. Much love to all of you. I know that many of your are dealing with true hardship right now and I will be praying for you.

Best wishes,

winterwren

edited to fix typos
It's good to hear from you, even though the tone of your post isn't a happy one. But I'm glad because that means you are well and able to write. Don't worry about catching up on post or anything of that sort - the most important thing is that you checked in

Ah, what can I say about your post... I can say with certainty that we all feel that way, sometimes. I know that feeling, when you are listing your achievements, and then you discover that you are falling short. Especially when you compare yourself and your life with what is hailed as a textbook example of a good life (you know, finish school by that age, get married by that age...). It's hard to avoid thinking in that manner, when you are feeling down. And it's only logical that you cling to the one thing that brings you a sense of security and success. I don't think it's vain to think about your outward appearance... after all, we all do what makes us feel good about ourselves
I don't feel competent to talk about getting older. I'm kind of strange in that regard. I've never liked being a teenager, and I've always thought that being a twenty-something is much better. But now, it just scary how time flies. It feels like the past years have passed in a blur. I don't think about my looks, though, because I'm not pretty to begin with. But yes, I too think about my faults and my strong point(s)... Thank goodness, I try to remind myself regularly of that what Jules had said - that my worth doesn't lie in worldly things, but in what the Lord says. That always helps.

Oh my, I've rambled more than enough. I guess I wanted to add that I understand the reason for your withdrawal from the Loom. I hope you will stop by more often, if that agrees with you. I'm sending you hugs







Hair type: 2b/M/C/iii
Current length: classic
Primary goal: thickening the ends

Hair journal:
http://www.network54.com/Forum/663765

Routine:
- NW/SO on the scalp, with periodical length
washes (Alverde birke-salbei shampoo for the length)
- brushing, scritching, preening and massaging daily
- occasional S&D trims
- trimming the ends whenever they start looking funny
Hair type: 2b/M/C/iii
Current length: classic+
Current goal: knee

Current routine:
~ alternating a NW/SO (no water/sebum only) routine with occasional washes. I use the techniques of NW/SO (brushing, scritching and preening) almost daily, but I do a shampoo wash every month or two.

Products and tools:
~ Alverde Birke-Salbei shampoo
~ occasionally oiling the ends with either coconut or almond oil; currently experimenting with argan oil
~ an assortment of BBBs
~ Tangle Teezer/Tangle Angel & wide-tooth comb
~ hair friendly hair toys, for putting up hair and forgetting about it

Hair journal (rarely updated nowadays):
http://www.network54.com/Forum/663765
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Dulcy
Dulcy

July 14th, 2012, 8:01 pm #9

Welcome back! I think most of us can relate to what you are saying especially those of us that are older.I hope you feel better soon,aging is not kind,in fact it sucks!But look at the alternative.Every day, after a certain age, we can look at that extra day/time as a gift ,a gift some are not lucky enough to get..Society doesn't always deem older women to be of much value in this culture,we don't get the same respect that elders in China or Japan get.Our culture is so youth obssessed.It's hard to figure out our place once we get older,finding good friends,having interesting hobbies all helps.As women we need to find some worth in ourselves besides our looks[not easy in this looks driven beauty salon ,fashion industry controlled society]Best of luck in dealing with this,it's not easy.Hope you can find some peace in your life.
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Fox
Joined: January 13th, 2003, 7:14 am

July 21st, 2012, 3:35 am #10

Hey, there, old friends and fellow loomies,

Oh my goodness. I cannot even think how long it has been since I posted on here, or even really had time to lurk. My computer time has been a bit more limited than it used to be and I have been trying very hard not to think about my hair at all, but I do miss the community here. I just started reading some of the past posts, but there are so many, I do not even know where to start.

There is so much I would like to respond to, but most of my responses would be so late, I fear no one would see them...and I am too far behind to catch up. I just wish all of you peace and joy and beauty and strength and every other good thing. And you all look stunning, of course.

I have very little to say about my own hair. I am not especially happy with it. It is still at tailbone--I just keep trimming it back. It hasn't been shedding much (except a little extra recently because I ran out of iron and delayed buying more) but it hasn't thickened up again, either. I just wish my hairline would grow in better. That truly would be nice. But I try to just remember it is only hair, after all. Or something.

As far as life in general goes...it goes. That is all I will say right now.

I really, really, really do miss all of you. I think when I first joined the Loom, I became a little too obsessed with my hair, trying to grow it to fairy tale perfection. It had almost always been long, but never as long as I hoped. I think I was not (and still am not) dealing well with aging, and desperately wanted something I could improve about my looks when it seemed like everything else was, mmm, *un*improving. And the my hair starting falling out and it became just one more thing to feel bad about. I do not want anyone to take this the wrong way--because I have always been insecure about my appearance and was an extremely ugly duckling in those brutal teenage years--but as an adult, I often felt like the only thing I was good at was being pretty. I have always had a lot of serious health problems and as a result I have almost always felt like a failure in life. And if you are in a room full of people and you are feeling worthless because you just had to stop school (again) or leave your job (again) or cannot risk getting pregnant when everyone else is starting their families, or whatever, it helped, a little, to think "at least I have my looks." My little sister, who has had a very tragic life, perhaps the most tragic of anyone I know well, was once crying because she hated getting older because the only thing she had even been good at was being beautiful and now she wasn't even that. And it broke my heart (even though she is still totally gorgeous). But I could not say that I felt much differently.

It is just amazing to me how much power this holds over me, over women in general. I have no shortage of real problems in my life, and no shortage of meaningful or useful things I could be doing, and yet I spend half of my mental energy worrying about how I look, in a very negative sense.

Anyway, I am sure all of this makes me sound like vain, horribly self obsessed little creature, which no doubt I am. I do realize that I am very, very lucky to still have hair, and that I am still cute enough, and just generally very lucky in life in too many ways to count. I just wanted to explain why I have been trying to dwell less on my hair. I thought of writing something like this months ago, but I feel a little uncomfortable being so vulnerable, and also silly because I am really hardly old and scared that it might hurt the feelings of anyone older than me. But I feel like I owe everyone an explanation.

Whew! Well, I had better post this before I chicken out. Much love to all of you. I know that many of your are dealing with true hardship right now and I will be praying for you.

Best wishes,

winterwren

edited to fix typos
Hi! You've been missed. I understand how it can get sometimes... putting a focus on something so much. For some it can be too much and you need a break. Maybe you can find a healthy balance for yourself and get the support you want without it becoming too much. I think we are our own worst critics, and that is why on the boards it can be helpful because you can get feedback from other eyes. Hang in there... I feel your pain on growing out, but having to trim back because of thinning issues. I'm still battling it, but I think it's getting a bit better.

-Fox

January 2010
Special thanks to Carlynn for my custom doll signature!
17/32.75/40+ Type 2CMii (3B underneath layer) Somewhat fine, slightly wavy (with curls on the underneath layer), Hennaed Auburn. F.L.A. Ranking, Colonel. To see more pictures, click on the gallery collection link found here:<a href="">http://www.geocities.com/ifoxbox/ForeverFox.html> Forever Fox </a>
My Journal: <a href="">http://www.longhairloom.com/foxjournal.htm> Faithfully Fox </a>


Want custom sticks? Please visit: Sticks and Stones, Hairsticks by Fox

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Choose your words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become habits. Study your habits, they will become your character. Develop your character for it becomes your destiny." -John MacArthur

"Love makes you beautiful" - quote from my nephew at age 7



Products Used:

Ida's Shampoo Bars



Aubrey Organics S&C
Nature's Gate Conditioners


Vinegar/herbal rinses

Oils: Jojoba, Sweet Almond, Virgin Oil de Coco Creme, Monoi, Castor, Meadowfoam Seed & essential oils
Shea Butter (from which I make my own leave-in)

MP Popular Mix Brush and Pure BB brush
Wood and Horn combs
Vitamins/Minerals/Herbal supplements
-Fox
Starting my growing journey all over again after health issues took a major toll on my hair.
17/25.5/35+ - Type 2C-3bMii Somewhat fine, wavy (with corkscrew curls on the underneath layer), natural color is light brown with gold and red highlights. Previously used henna for years, but had it highlighted out over a couple of years. Currently trying to decide what to do as far as continuing with that to keep up the roots or doing something different.

Products Used:
Aubrey Organics S&C - my most favorite, but currently using Neways Second Chance Shampoo, SheaMoisture's High Porosity Moisture-Seal Masque,
Sally Beauty Generic Value Product's version of Matrix Biolage conditioner (as a leave in, not rinsed out)
Aubrey Organics Chia Gel
Vinegar/herbal rinses
Oils: Jojoba, Castor, Coconut & essential oils
MP Popular Mix Brush
MP & Madora wide tooth combs
Vitamins/Minerals/Herbal supplements

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Choose your words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become habits. Study your habits, they will become your character. Develop your character for it becomes your destiny."
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winterwren
winterwren

July 25th, 2012, 11:05 pm #11

My brother did almost all the wallpaper in the house before he passed away. A lot of it was ordered from old historical patterns though.

April 2012

October 2011

August 2011


1BFii
Hair: All natural dark brown and silver.
Washing: Once or twice a week. Condition from ears on down. Cold as I can stand it final rinse. Shampoo/Conditioner:Aubrey's Honeysuckle Rose Shampoo and Conditioner. Nature's Gate Organics Biotin Shampoo and Conditioner.
Wide tooth comb.
Kind Regards,
lacemitts
I am so sorry that your brother passed away. He did a amazing job.

Your house is so magical.

winterwren
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Joined: April 6th, 2008, 11:11 pm

July 25th, 2012, 11:13 pm #12

What a wonderfully frank letter. And how good to see you. Aging is hard. I know. I'm older than you. Being concerned about losing our youthful glow and accepting the passing and effects of time is normal. I don't think you are vain at all. I think that you are exposing the secret rants of us who were younger. When I wear my hair down in public and feel it swish across my back I feel sexy! That is a rare feeling that comes less and less as I age. My hair is what makes me feel beautiful. There is nothing wrong with that. Welcome back you were missed!

Christmas 08 April 09

Close up of my gray hair.

Oil on ends just before combing to help with snarls, 2x a day.

Shampoo every 5 days
Experimenting with ACV, coconut oil, and honey.

Started measuring August 06, at 36.5 inches
1cCii ~ Natural Silver

I am 54 year old and I've been married for 35 years!!

July 1st 07 - Reached 40 inches
July 14 07 - Cut back to 36.5
August 3rd 08 - Reached 40 inches again.
January 1 09 Reached 43 and classic achieved! Cut for a better hemline.
April thru June 40 still. sigh...
March 2010 Classic!!!

36.5/42.5/Classic

Faithful to barbers - they actually trim 1/8th of an inch!!
Oh, you are very kind. Thank you for saying I was frank. It made me feel like a made the right decision about posting (I almost deleted it.) I thought everyone would think I was whiny.

What you say is true, and I think you have a very healthy perspective. And beautiful hair. I wish I could get mine to swish more.

It is always nice to hear from you, so thanks again.

winterwren
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Joined: April 6th, 2008, 11:11 pm

July 25th, 2012, 11:16 pm #13

I can understand where you are coming from!

You have been missed and I, for one, am glad you are back...hopefully more often, too!

Hugs, winterwren!!

Gentle Care for Healthy Hair!
1aFii 24.5"/40"/classic (44")

February 2012 - 38.5"


Shampoo Wednesday and Sunday nights - my homemade formula or Suave Naturals
ACV rinse - infused with mint, basil, rosemary and sage w/ lemon EO after shampooing
Conditioner - Suave Naturals as a leave-in

Deep conditioning - every weekend - shea butter, coconut oil, jojoba oil &/or Africas Best Herbal oil usually left on from Saturday evening to my Sunday wash - Fruit of the Earth 100% Aloe Vera gel glossing and setting gel - Vidal Sasson BBB Revlon wide toothed comb

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Life Verse:
Joyful in hope,
Patient in affliction,
Faithful in prayer.
Romans 12: 12

Life Chapter: Proverbs 31

http://blissbybluerose.blogspot.com/
I am glad that I am not alone in this struggle...well, sort of glad, you know what I mean!

It is good to see you--I have missed the Loom. I will try to swing by more often.

winterwren
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Joined: April 6th, 2008, 11:11 pm

July 25th, 2012, 11:25 pm #14

your post. Seriously. I struggle with aging and losing any looks I may have once had. I struggle with feeling worthless and even going to church is a struggle because I feel like the ugly duckling there compared to my peers. I mean, I have long hair (horror or horrors at my age) and I don't dye my silvers (double horror).

But our worth isn't based on our looks or our dress size or what education we have or on what we achieve in life. We might think at times that it is - but those things only bring temporary satisfaction. Our worth is based on who we are in Christ and what He has done for us.

Like Lacemitts said, stick around. We love having you here and have missed you dearly.







Progress from June 2006 - January 2011

2a/M/ii
Mid-Dark brown with natural red and silver highlights; fringe/bangs.
Starting length: 25"/62.5cm (BSL)
Current length: 33.5" (Cut back from 38.5" February 2011 following a massive shed.)
New Goal: Healthy hair that I'm happy with!

Current routine: Scalp wash every second to third day using Chagrin Valley shampoo bars. Finish with acidic rinse (1 tsp ACV or lime juice to 1 to 2 cups of water or herbal tea). Full wash once a week using A'kin conditioner or an egg wash to cleanse the length and shampoo bars or A'kin shampoo on the scalp.
Other: Oiling when required with avocado and almond oil or shea butter; regular micro-trims; BBB; wooden comb; Mason Pearson comb; hair sticks, Flexi-8's, Ficcare, and other hair friendly toys.

'Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfailing beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.' 1 Peter 3:3-4

My Website

On Eagles' Wings (My Blog)

My Method for Scalp Washes
and dear. I laughed out loud at your "double horror" comment.

I am glad I am not alone, but I am also really sorry that you struggle with the same thing.

I should copy that paragraph you wrote about who we are in Christ and tape it to my mirror. Or kitchen cupboard (for some reason I never read things taped to my mirror.) That is really the only "cure", so to speak, and it is what I believe in theory, but it is hard to believe in my heart, day to day.

I miss you and the Loom, too...I still do drop in to read your blog, I just do not often comment.

Thank you for what you wrote,

winterwren
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Joined: April 6th, 2008, 11:11 pm

July 25th, 2012, 11:40 pm #15

It's good to hear from you, even though the tone of your post isn't a happy one. But I'm glad because that means you are well and able to write. Don't worry about catching up on post or anything of that sort - the most important thing is that you checked in

Ah, what can I say about your post... I can say with certainty that we all feel that way, sometimes. I know that feeling, when you are listing your achievements, and then you discover that you are falling short. Especially when you compare yourself and your life with what is hailed as a textbook example of a good life (you know, finish school by that age, get married by that age...). It's hard to avoid thinking in that manner, when you are feeling down. And it's only logical that you cling to the one thing that brings you a sense of security and success. I don't think it's vain to think about your outward appearance... after all, we all do what makes us feel good about ourselves
I don't feel competent to talk about getting older. I'm kind of strange in that regard. I've never liked being a teenager, and I've always thought that being a twenty-something is much better. But now, it just scary how time flies. It feels like the past years have passed in a blur. I don't think about my looks, though, because I'm not pretty to begin with. But yes, I too think about my faults and my strong point(s)... Thank goodness, I try to remind myself regularly of that what Jules had said - that my worth doesn't lie in worldly things, but in what the Lord says. That always helps.

Oh my, I've rambled more than enough. I guess I wanted to add that I understand the reason for your withdrawal from the Loom. I hope you will stop by more often, if that agrees with you. I'm sending you hugs







Hair type: 2b/M/C/iii
Current length: classic
Primary goal: thickening the ends

Hair journal:
http://www.network54.com/Forum/663765

Routine:
- NW/SO on the scalp, with periodical length
washes (Alverde birke-salbei shampoo for the length)
- brushing, scritching, preening and massaging daily
- occasional S&D trims
- trimming the ends whenever they start looking funny
Thank you so much for your post. You are very wise and compassionate. What you said rang very true, it is just very easy to forget, so thank you for reminding me.

You know, I liked being twenty-something much better than better than being a teenager, too. I remember giving my roommate a birthday present when she turned 25 and the card said, "every birthday that takes you farther away from being 16 is a good one" and she laughed, because we both felt it was true. I still think it is true. I forget about that. And really, I like being a thirty-something better than I liked being a twenty-something, I just don't like the changing appearance thing...or more importantly, how fast time flies being married or how my parents are getting older...

(And yeah, I have seen your journal, so none of this "I am not pretty" nonsense. You have beautiful hair and beautiful cheekbones and that half profile of you was lovely. So there!)

Thank you again,

winterwren
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Joined: April 6th, 2008, 11:11 pm

July 25th, 2012, 11:50 pm #16

Welcome back! I think most of us can relate to what you are saying especially those of us that are older.I hope you feel better soon,aging is not kind,in fact it sucks!But look at the alternative.Every day, after a certain age, we can look at that extra day/time as a gift ,a gift some are not lucky enough to get..Society doesn't always deem older women to be of much value in this culture,we don't get the same respect that elders in China or Japan get.Our culture is so youth obssessed.It's hard to figure out our place once we get older,finding good friends,having interesting hobbies all helps.As women we need to find some worth in ourselves besides our looks[not easy in this looks driven beauty salon ,fashion industry controlled society]Best of luck in dealing with this,it's not easy.Hope you can find some peace in your life.
Thank you, your post made me smile, very true that getting older is not kind. You are right, it is definitely is hard living in a culture so obsessed with booth looks and youth, because really, most of a person's life is spent getting older when the culture seems to idolize being, I don't know, 23? At least looking 23.

But so true about the alternative, and about finding peace. Thank you so much for that.

winterwren
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Joined: April 6th, 2008, 11:11 pm

July 25th, 2012, 11:58 pm #17

Hi! You've been missed. I understand how it can get sometimes... putting a focus on something so much. For some it can be too much and you need a break. Maybe you can find a healthy balance for yourself and get the support you want without it becoming too much. I think we are our own worst critics, and that is why on the boards it can be helpful because you can get feedback from other eyes. Hang in there... I feel your pain on growing out, but having to trim back because of thinning issues. I'm still battling it, but I think it's getting a bit better.

-Fox

January 2010
Special thanks to Carlynn for my custom doll signature!
17/32.75/40+ Type 2CMii (3B underneath layer) Somewhat fine, slightly wavy (with curls on the underneath layer), Hennaed Auburn. F.L.A. Ranking, Colonel. To see more pictures, click on the gallery collection link found here:<a href="">http://www.geocities.com/ifoxbox/ForeverFox.html> Forever Fox </a>
My Journal: <a href="">http://www.longhairloom.com/foxjournal.htm> Faithfully Fox </a>


Want custom sticks? Please visit: Sticks and Stones, Hairsticks by Fox

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Choose your words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become habits. Study your habits, they will become your character. Develop your character for it becomes your destiny." -John MacArthur

"Love makes you beautiful" - quote from my nephew at age 7



Products Used:

Ida's Shampoo Bars



Aubrey Organics S&C
Nature's Gate Conditioners


Vinegar/herbal rinses

Oils: Jojoba, Sweet Almond, Virgin Oil de Coco Creme, Monoi, Castor, Meadowfoam Seed & essential oils
Shea Butter (from which I make my own leave-in)

MP Popular Mix Brush and Pure BB brush
Wood and Horn combs
Vitamins/Minerals/Herbal supplements
Yes, I think I would like this balance thing you speak of... Balance is not really my strong point, but it is something to which I aspire. A teacher of mine used to talk about trying to have balance, but the balance of a dancer, moving, not of a still scale...I always liked that. Obviously, I have a long way to go.

I am sorry about your problems with thinning and having to cut back...I remember when you wrote of that before and am glad that you feel it is at least starting to get better.

I have missed you all, too.

winterwren
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Joined: November 11th, 2009, 8:52 pm

July 26th, 2012, 11:19 pm #18

Thank you so much for your post. You are very wise and compassionate. What you said rang very true, it is just very easy to forget, so thank you for reminding me.

You know, I liked being twenty-something much better than better than being a teenager, too. I remember giving my roommate a birthday present when she turned 25 and the card said, "every birthday that takes you farther away from being 16 is a good one" and she laughed, because we both felt it was true. I still think it is true. I forget about that. And really, I like being a thirty-something better than I liked being a twenty-something, I just don't like the changing appearance thing...or more importantly, how fast time flies being married or how my parents are getting older...

(And yeah, I have seen your journal, so none of this "I am not pretty" nonsense. You have beautiful hair and beautiful cheekbones and that half profile of you was lovely. So there!)

Thank you again,

winterwren
there's no need to thank me I can truly relate to the things that you've said. (I love the card you have written to your roommate, by the way!) Not many people would agree with me on the fact that things get better when one gets older... Well, not all things, but I guess we get more comfortable with ourselves, our opinions and thoughts. In some cases, people become more outspoken, just because they can be.
Being young has both advantages and disadvantages, as everything else. A young person feels physically good most of the time (if not ill), but the other aspects... Eh, I sometimes think Anna Frank had it right when she'd written (I'm paraphrasing): "For in it's most hidden depth, youth is more lonely than old age."
So yeah... being young is not always pleasant.

I think every season of life brings it's own challenges, but also gives something in return. That something might not be the thing we want... but we have to work with what we've got. Now, I know I'm sounding a bit fatalistic now, but I believe everything happens for a reason. Though I don't understand how can time fly so quickly... I agree, it's quite scary, when one starts thinking about it. So it's best not to dwell on those things at the moment, and do things that make us happy
So I hope you are doing things that make you happy

P.S. Thank you for the compliment You are most kind!







Hair type: 2b/M/C/iii
Current length: classic
Primary goal: thickening the ends

Hair journal:
http://www.network54.com/Forum/663765

Routine:
- NW/SO on the scalp, with periodical length
washes (Alverde birke-salbei shampoo for the length)
- brushing, scritching, preening and massaging daily
- occasional S&D trims
- trimming the ends whenever they start looking funny
Hair type: 2b/M/C/iii
Current length: classic+
Current goal: knee

Current routine:
~ alternating a NW/SO (no water/sebum only) routine with occasional washes. I use the techniques of NW/SO (brushing, scritching and preening) almost daily, but I do a shampoo wash every month or two.

Products and tools:
~ Alverde Birke-Salbei shampoo
~ occasionally oiling the ends with either coconut or almond oil; currently experimenting with argan oil
~ an assortment of BBBs
~ Tangle Teezer/Tangle Angel & wide-tooth comb
~ hair friendly hair toys, for putting up hair and forgetting about it

Hair journal (rarely updated nowadays):
http://www.network54.com/Forum/663765
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