How do you take criticism?

How do you take criticism?

Joined: May 25th, 2012, 8:54 am

May 25th, 2012, 9:38 am #1

I am having issues about my choice to have long hair... Any advice?

1aFiii auburn (natural)
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Joined: January 26th, 2005, 12:27 am

May 25th, 2012, 9:57 am #2

But I ignore it, and keep it long anyway! Hang out here, it helps to have others who love their hair long too.

April 2012

October 2011

August 2011


1BFii
Hair: All natural dark brown and silver.
Washing: Once or twice a week. Condition from ears on down. Cold as I can stand it final rinse. Shampoo/Conditioner:Aubrey's Honeysuckle Rose Shampoo and Conditioner. Nature's Gate Organics Biotin Shampoo and Conditioner.
Wide tooth comb.
Kind Regards,
lacemitts
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Joined: November 11th, 2009, 8:52 pm

May 25th, 2012, 10:33 am #3

I am having issues about my choice to have long hair... Any advice?

1aFiii auburn (natural)
I don't believe we've met before, so I will wish you a warm welcome! I hope you'll hang out here with us as often as you can

Now back to your question. Well, I can't say I've encountered criticism targeted towards my hair specifically... At least I can't recall that someone berated that personal choice of mine. I know that various fashion magazines and TV shows oftentimes criticize long hair in general, but I haven't met with that in my life. That can be because of two reasons. I wear my hair up a lot, so people are not actually aware how long is my hair. And secondly, I'm the type of a person who puts a distance between herself and unknown people (by that, I consider everyone except my family and close friends). And thus, those acquaintances cannot approach me so easily and talk about highly personal stuff. I guess it's hard to breach that kind of a wall That is why no one gives negative comments on my hair, just as no one gives negative comments on my clothing, or hair toys, or book, or anything.

Okay, that was about me. Since I don't know from whom have you been getting negative comments (your family members, friends, acquaintances...), I can't suggest right away a tactic for dealing with them. However, I second Lace's suggestion of ignoring the criticism Look at it this way - you want long hair. If we judge by your thumbnail, you have beautiful hair - long and of a gorgeous color to boot. Then there is no reason why you should listen to people telling you that your hair is too long. You love it this way, and that should be good enough for them. Besides, it's not like your committing a sin or a crime You are just making a personal choice about your appearance. I understand that, at times when everything and everyone can hurt you, you can feel bad about yourself when you get negative feedback or unsolicited advice. It's especially hard if people whom you hold close and dear make such statements. But please, try to forget about the negatives and focus on the important things, like your desire to have long hair. Chin up, Joni, and whenever you feel down, just come here and talk about it. Having a group of like-minded people is always beneficial in a long hair journey







Hair type: 2b/M/C/iii
Current length: classic
Primary goal: thickening the ends

Hair journal:
http://www.network54.com/Forum/663765

Routine:
- NW/SO on the scalp, with periodical length
washes (Alverde birke-salbei shampoo for the length)
- brushing, scritching, preening and massaging daily
- occasional S&D trims
- trimming the ends whenever they start looking funny
Hair type: 2b/M/C/iii
Current length: classic+
Current goal: knee

Current routine:
~ alternating a NW/SO (no water/sebum only) routine with occasional washes. I use the techniques of NW/SO (brushing, scritching and preening) almost daily, but I do a shampoo wash every month or two.

Products and tools:
~ Alverde Birke-Salbei shampoo
~ occasionally oiling the ends with either coconut or almond oil; currently experimenting with argan oil
~ an assortment of BBBs
~ Tangle Teezer/Tangle Angel & wide-tooth comb
~ hair friendly hair toys, for putting up hair and forgetting about it

Hair journal (rarely updated nowadays):
http://www.network54.com/Forum/663765
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Joined: January 22nd, 2008, 9:03 pm

May 25th, 2012, 1:06 pm #4

I am having issues about my choice to have long hair... Any advice?

1aFiii auburn (natural)
I get annoyed, but I frankly don't care what anybody thinks except myself and my boyfriend, and there are very few men who prefer women with short hair. I grow my hair because I want to, not because of someone else, and I am the type of person who most people only insult once or twice. But I know there are some people here who are harped on constantly. My mother used to make fairly frequent comments that once I hit 40 I will "have to" cut it. I informed her that I have no intention of looking like one of those "puff heads" I see running around. I told her that I don't plan to ever cut my hair because I have always thought that pictures I've seen of old women (not that 40 is old, but that seems to be her cut-off age for long hair) with white or grey long hair tied in a bun look much more dignified than silly little old ladies whose heads look like a dandelion gone to seed. And I aspire to look dignified when I get old.....so I don't hear about my hair anymore.

Another tactic that works with a lot of people is to tell them what your goal length is, and that "Maybe" you will cut it once you've reached that length. Give them some vague story about how you "always wanted" to have hair of a certain length. For some reason, I have found that a lot of people suddenly get really supportive that I want to get to classic length and those who were originally saying I should get a flippy "chic" little 'do, or made some other comment about cutting my hair, have now invested themselves in my hair's progress. The majority of them have even decided that maybe I should keep it long once I reach my goal.
So it depends on the type of criticism you are getting as to what the best response is.

Mostly it depends on the type of criticism you are getting. Some (probably most) people need to be ignored or given the "maybe I will cut when..." story and they will eventually back off or even want to help you in your growing. Some people need to be told point blank that their comments are hurtful, because they genuinely think they are somehow "helping". And some people need to get the same kind of nonsense they're dishing out. ("Why don't I cut my hair? Well why don't you grow out your hair? You wouldn't look so much like someone's grandma." Or "Why don't you grow out your hair? It would hide your double chin"). I don't generally advocate being rude, but some people are relentless, and when nice tactics don't work, being rude right back at them tends to quiet them down. People who are making hurtful comments for hurtful reasons can always dish it out, but they can't take it when they get the same sort of thing.

Whatever tactic you choose, if you stand your ground long enough, the naysayers will eventually find someone else to go pester.

Sorry this was so long, but I don't know what kind of issues you are having, so I thought I'd include the most common ones I've run into.
Happy growing!!!

1cF/Mii
CO washing most days, shampoo 1 or 2 times a week. Detangler as needed. Deep condition about once a week with jojoba or plain ol' coconut oil. Regularly use coconut oil on ends when the weather is dry. Exfoliate scalp with sugar mixed into cheap conditioner whenever I feel like I need it. Heat styling (dryers/curling iron) used probably 6 times a year only for special occasions.

23/32.25"/tailbone

My hair right about the time I started, I had tried to dye the bleached ends to match the roots, but as you can see from the next pic, the dye didn't hold very long.



November 2008 since I started using cassia. Not much growth since August but I Love the shine I'm getting from the Cassia and it seems to really be protecting my ends


April 2011
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Joined: July 2nd, 2009, 1:28 am

May 25th, 2012, 3:44 pm #5

I am having issues about my choice to have long hair... Any advice?

1aFiii auburn (natural)
On rare occasions I have had either a friend or family member suggest that I should get a more
"up-to-date" hair style (i.e. cut my hair) but I just ignore them. Strangers generally don't approach me but if I do happen to catch them staring, I just smile. They generally will mumble some sort of vague compliment because I think I scare them. LOL I put the naysayers on ignore and just don't respond. They eventually give up and walk away. Wear your hair the way YOU want. Don't be victimized by the negativity of a few. Have you ever considered that perhaps they are jealous?? By the way, your hair looks gorgeous !


Last edited by duneseeker on May 25th, 2012, 3:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: August 26th, 2010, 4:56 pm

May 25th, 2012, 4:51 pm #6

I am having issues about my choice to have long hair... Any advice?

1aFiii auburn (natural)
I know it can be frustrating to be approached with negative comments. The girls all have it right here....do what makes YOU happy, and ignore the rest. I think sometimes the negativity comes from jealousy, maybe because they can't grow theirs long, or they don't want to commit to it. Others think they are helping, by saying things like "a shorter hairstyle would make you look younger", etc. Heck, I have even been accused of being selfish, because I wouldn't donate my hair to Locks of Love.

There are alot of people out there that just don't understand why we want our hair long. That's fine....that's their opinion. Stay true to yourself, do what you feel is right for you, and the rest will fall into place.

And, if all else fails, just come here....we understand and support you!

~Misty

Joined 8/26/2010

Hair Length: 37.25" (when left curly)
38.00" (when straightened out)

Hair Type: 3cnii
Naturally curly

Goal Length: We'll see how long it will get!

Main Goal: To have my hair be healthy and long

***One hair on the head is worth two in the brush***

Please visit my Etsy shop:http://www.etsy.com/shop/SilverHeelsTradingCo
My Website:http://hotrodangel.webs.com/

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Joined: December 11th, 2005, 12:35 am

May 25th, 2012, 8:04 pm #7

I am having issues about my choice to have long hair... Any advice?

1aFiii auburn (natural)
Joni, first of all, your hair is strikingly beautiful! To cut it would be a shame, especially if you like it.

When criticism lurks around the corner, I draw the line in the sand real quick. I am 63 and have had long hair most of my life, so I have heard every negative remark there is about my hair. I simply say, "discussion about my hair is not an option, unless you have something nice to say". That cuts it off before I have to hear the silly stuff.

In years gone by, I would be polite and listen. Then I would try and give some justification for why I have long hair. That seemed to feed the problem. So, I have learned the hard way to quickly cut off the conversation and ignore any further attempts to talk about my hair.

It really doesn't matter what others say. What matters is what you like and how you want your hair to look like.
2A ~ very fine ~ ii/iii ~ knee length
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Joined: May 1st, 2006, 4:31 am

May 25th, 2012, 10:06 pm #8

I get annoyed, but I frankly don't care what anybody thinks except myself and my boyfriend, and there are very few men who prefer women with short hair. I grow my hair because I want to, not because of someone else, and I am the type of person who most people only insult once or twice. But I know there are some people here who are harped on constantly. My mother used to make fairly frequent comments that once I hit 40 I will "have to" cut it. I informed her that I have no intention of looking like one of those "puff heads" I see running around. I told her that I don't plan to ever cut my hair because I have always thought that pictures I've seen of old women (not that 40 is old, but that seems to be her cut-off age for long hair) with white or grey long hair tied in a bun look much more dignified than silly little old ladies whose heads look like a dandelion gone to seed. And I aspire to look dignified when I get old.....so I don't hear about my hair anymore.

Another tactic that works with a lot of people is to tell them what your goal length is, and that "Maybe" you will cut it once you've reached that length. Give them some vague story about how you "always wanted" to have hair of a certain length. For some reason, I have found that a lot of people suddenly get really supportive that I want to get to classic length and those who were originally saying I should get a flippy "chic" little 'do, or made some other comment about cutting my hair, have now invested themselves in my hair's progress. The majority of them have even decided that maybe I should keep it long once I reach my goal.
So it depends on the type of criticism you are getting as to what the best response is.

Mostly it depends on the type of criticism you are getting. Some (probably most) people need to be ignored or given the "maybe I will cut when..." story and they will eventually back off or even want to help you in your growing. Some people need to be told point blank that their comments are hurtful, because they genuinely think they are somehow "helping". And some people need to get the same kind of nonsense they're dishing out. ("Why don't I cut my hair? Well why don't you grow out your hair? You wouldn't look so much like someone's grandma." Or "Why don't you grow out your hair? It would hide your double chin"). I don't generally advocate being rude, but some people are relentless, and when nice tactics don't work, being rude right back at them tends to quiet them down. People who are making hurtful comments for hurtful reasons can always dish it out, but they can't take it when they get the same sort of thing.

Whatever tactic you choose, if you stand your ground long enough, the naysayers will eventually find someone else to go pester.

Sorry this was so long, but I don't know what kind of issues you are having, so I thought I'd include the most common ones I've run into.
Happy growing!!!

1cF/Mii
CO washing most days, shampoo 1 or 2 times a week. Detangler as needed. Deep condition about once a week with jojoba or plain ol' coconut oil. Regularly use coconut oil on ends when the weather is dry. Exfoliate scalp with sugar mixed into cheap conditioner whenever I feel like I need it. Heat styling (dryers/curling iron) used probably 6 times a year only for special occasions.

23/32.25"/tailbone

My hair right about the time I started, I had tried to dye the bleached ends to match the roots, but as you can see from the next pic, the dye didn't hold very long.



November 2008 since I started using cassia. Not much growth since August but I Love the shine I'm getting from the Cassia and it seems to really be protecting my ends


April 2011
"... a dandelion gone to seed". Just love that picture. You had me smiling and I needed that this morning.







Progress from June 2006 - January 2011

2a/M/ii
Mid-Dark brown with natural red and silver highlights; fringe/bangs.
Starting length: 25"/62.5cm (BSL)
Current length: 33.5" (Cut back from 38.5" February 2011 following a massive shed.)
New Goal: Healthy hair that I'm happy with!

Current routine: Scalp wash every second to third day using Chagrin Valley shampoo bars. Finish with acidic rinse (1 tsp ACV or lime juice to 1 to 2 cups of water or herbal tea). Full wash once a week using A'kin conditioner or an egg wash to cleanse the length and shampoo bars or A'kin shampoo on the scalp.
Other: Oiling when required with avocado and almond oil or shea butter; regular micro-trims; BBB; wooden comb; Mason Pearson comb; hair sticks, Flexi-8's, Ficcare, and other hair friendly toys.

'Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfailing beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.' 1 Peter 3:3-4

My Website

On Eagles' Wings (My Blog)

My Method for Scalp Washes


Hair Journey Began in June 2006 ...

Hair Type: 2a/M/ii
Hair Colour: Dark brown with natural red and silver highlights (more silver than red nowadays)
Starting length: 25"/62.5cm (BSL)
Initial Goal length: 36" (Tailbone)
Setback: Major shed in 2010 when at 38"
New Goal: Healthy hair that I'm happy with! (Preferably tailbone with thick hemline.)

Current Routine
CWCA: C = condition the length with conditioner or shea butter; W = wash the scalp using diluted organic shampoo; Condition = small amount of conditioner on ends; A = acidic rinse, either ACV or citric acid; Frequency = once a week. In-between times, scalp washes as required.
Tips for super soft hair = Wash with Miracle Water. Finish up with LOC (Liquid = water; Oil = almond/olive/avocado oils; Cream = aloe vera gel)
Other: Regular micro-trims; light oiling on dry hair a few times a week; BBB; wooden comb; Mason Pearson comb; hair sticks, Flexi-8's, Ficcare, and other hair friendly toys.


'Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfailing beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.' 1 Peter 3:3-4
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Joined: May 1st, 2006, 4:31 am

May 25th, 2012, 10:10 pm #9

I am having issues about my choice to have long hair... Any advice?

1aFiii auburn (natural)
I take it too much to heart. I cut my hair years ago after repeated comments from colleagues that women over 30 should wear their hair short and that the older you get the shorter it should be. So I cut and hated it. I started growing it out but felt so much pressure and didn't know what to do until I discovered this board and decided to do what made me happy.

I don't get as many comments now - I'm 47 - but I do still feel societal pressure to conform and cut it all off and there are many times when I wonder if I would look more attractive if I cut or if I'd feel less like an outcast if I looked like everyone else. But those moments usually pass and I decide to keep it long because I like having long hair.







Progress from June 2006 - January 2011

2a/M/ii
Mid-Dark brown with natural red and silver highlights; fringe/bangs.
Starting length: 25"/62.5cm (BSL)
Current length: 33.5" (Cut back from 38.5" February 2011 following a massive shed.)
New Goal: Healthy hair that I'm happy with!

Current routine: Scalp wash every second to third day using Chagrin Valley shampoo bars. Finish with acidic rinse (1 tsp ACV or lime juice to 1 to 2 cups of water or herbal tea). Full wash once a week using A'kin conditioner or an egg wash to cleanse the length and shampoo bars or A'kin shampoo on the scalp.
Other: Oiling when required with avocado and almond oil or shea butter; regular micro-trims; BBB; wooden comb; Mason Pearson comb; hair sticks, Flexi-8's, Ficcare, and other hair friendly toys.

'Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfailing beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.' 1 Peter 3:3-4

My Website

On Eagles' Wings (My Blog)

My Method for Scalp Washes


Hair Journey Began in June 2006 ...

Hair Type: 2a/M/ii
Hair Colour: Dark brown with natural red and silver highlights (more silver than red nowadays)
Starting length: 25"/62.5cm (BSL)
Initial Goal length: 36" (Tailbone)
Setback: Major shed in 2010 when at 38"
New Goal: Healthy hair that I'm happy with! (Preferably tailbone with thick hemline.)

Current Routine
CWCA: C = condition the length with conditioner or shea butter; W = wash the scalp using diluted organic shampoo; Condition = small amount of conditioner on ends; A = acidic rinse, either ACV or citric acid; Frequency = once a week. In-between times, scalp washes as required.
Tips for super soft hair = Wash with Miracle Water. Finish up with LOC (Liquid = water; Oil = almond/olive/avocado oils; Cream = aloe vera gel)
Other: Regular micro-trims; light oiling on dry hair a few times a week; BBB; wooden comb; Mason Pearson comb; hair sticks, Flexi-8's, Ficcare, and other hair friendly toys.


'Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfailing beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.' 1 Peter 3:3-4
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Fox
Joined: January 13th, 2003, 7:14 am

May 26th, 2012, 7:42 am #10

I am having issues about my choice to have long hair... Any advice?

1aFiii auburn (natural)
I always make it known how much I love my hair long. Rarely does someone comment negatively after knowing how much I love it. For someone to do so, well, I probably wouldn't value their opinion very much if the knew I loved my hair long and then said something against it. I wouldn't really care because I wear my hair this way because I just love having longer hair. It's "me". There will always be people who try to get you to do what they want and what they like. But be true to yourself... and if they say something negative, just say, well, I LOVE it this way!

-Fox

January 2010
Special thanks to Carlynn for my custom doll signature!
17/32.75/40+ Type 2CMii (3B underneath layer) Somewhat fine, slightly wavy (with curls on the underneath layer), Hennaed Auburn. F.L.A. Ranking, Colonel. To see more pictures, click on the gallery collection link found here:<a href="">http://www.geocities.com/ifoxbox/ForeverFox.html> Forever Fox </a>
My Journal: <a href="">http://www.longhairloom.com/foxjournal.htm> Faithfully Fox </a>


Want custom sticks? Please visit: Sticks and Stones, Hairsticks by Fox

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Choose your words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become habits. Study your habits, they will become your character. Develop your character for it becomes your destiny." -John MacArthur

"Love makes you beautiful" - quote from my nephew at age 7



Products Used:

Ida's Shampoo Bars



Aubrey Organics S&C
Nature's Gate Conditioners


Vinegar/herbal rinses

Oils: Jojoba, Sweet Almond, Virgin Oil de Coco Creme, Monoi, Castor, Meadowfoam Seed & essential oils
Shea Butter (from which I make my own leave-in)

MP Popular Mix Brush and Pure BB brush
Wood and Horn combs
Vitamins/Minerals/Herbal supplements
-Fox
Starting my growing journey all over again after health issues took a major toll on my hair.
17/25.5/35+ - Type 2C-3bMii Somewhat fine, wavy (with corkscrew curls on the underneath layer), natural color is light brown with gold and red highlights. Previously used henna for years, but had it highlighted out over a couple of years. Currently trying to decide what to do as far as continuing with that to keep up the roots or doing something different.

Products Used:
Aubrey Organics S&C - my most favorite, but currently using Neways Second Chance Shampoo, SheaMoisture's High Porosity Moisture-Seal Masque,
Sally Beauty Generic Value Product's version of Matrix Biolage conditioner (as a leave in, not rinsed out)
Aubrey Organics Chia Gel
Vinegar/herbal rinses
Oils: Jojoba, Castor, Coconut & essential oils
MP Popular Mix Brush
MP & Madora wide tooth combs
Vitamins/Minerals/Herbal supplements

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Choose your words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become habits. Study your habits, they will become your character. Develop your character for it becomes your destiny."
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Joined: May 25th, 2012, 8:54 am

May 26th, 2012, 4:10 pm #11

I don't believe we've met before, so I will wish you a warm welcome! I hope you'll hang out here with us as often as you can

Now back to your question. Well, I can't say I've encountered criticism targeted towards my hair specifically... At least I can't recall that someone berated that personal choice of mine. I know that various fashion magazines and TV shows oftentimes criticize long hair in general, but I haven't met with that in my life. That can be because of two reasons. I wear my hair up a lot, so people are not actually aware how long is my hair. And secondly, I'm the type of a person who puts a distance between herself and unknown people (by that, I consider everyone except my family and close friends). And thus, those acquaintances cannot approach me so easily and talk about highly personal stuff. I guess it's hard to breach that kind of a wall That is why no one gives negative comments on my hair, just as no one gives negative comments on my clothing, or hair toys, or book, or anything.

Okay, that was about me. Since I don't know from whom have you been getting negative comments (your family members, friends, acquaintances...), I can't suggest right away a tactic for dealing with them. However, I second Lace's suggestion of ignoring the criticism Look at it this way - you want long hair. If we judge by your thumbnail, you have beautiful hair - long and of a gorgeous color to boot. Then there is no reason why you should listen to people telling you that your hair is too long. You love it this way, and that should be good enough for them. Besides, it's not like your committing a sin or a crime You are just making a personal choice about your appearance. I understand that, at times when everything and everyone can hurt you, you can feel bad about yourself when you get negative feedback or unsolicited advice. It's especially hard if people whom you hold close and dear make such statements. But please, try to forget about the negatives and focus on the important things, like your desire to have long hair. Chin up, Joni, and whenever you feel down, just come here and talk about it. Having a group of like-minded people is always beneficial in a long hair journey







Hair type: 2b/M/C/iii
Current length: classic
Primary goal: thickening the ends

Hair journal:
http://www.network54.com/Forum/663765

Routine:
- NW/SO on the scalp, with periodical length
washes (Alverde birke-salbei shampoo for the length)
- brushing, scritching, preening and massaging daily
- occasional S&D trims
- trimming the ends whenever they start looking funny
The person or persons are my step family... My step mother has never ever liked me. Her side of my "family" (they are city to my country) constantly find fault with me and my appearance. I am not as pretty as them and I am country, a tom boy, and so on. I went to spend a week with my daddy and all I got (as usual) was criticism, back handed compliments and a general disdain for my choices and way of life. My father is in rapidly failing health so I just tried to grin and bear it as they say... But I lost my mother young, and she is (sadly) all that I had to measure myself against and find a direction to be a woman.
My mother had gorgeous hair, she wore it long but it was so curly it didn't look as long as it was. I got her color and my daddy's fine but thick strands. I loved my hair growing up. My brothers called me Rapunzel or Punz all my life. It was a special bond between me and my real mama, and my daddy loved it. My brothers adore me (to this day) and my daddy (I believe) still loves me but she has viewed me as a competitor for his affections and he drew away to stop her constant bitching... (forgive my language)
I worry that I am being silly wanting long hair. I am 38 as of May 7th this year.
But my hair reminds me of happier times and how my daddy would brush it and tell me stories about Rapunzel...
I appreciate all the advice and the warm welcome to this lovely site.
I feel welcome, and peaceful here.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
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Joined: May 25th, 2012, 8:54 am

May 26th, 2012, 4:12 pm #12

I get annoyed, but I frankly don't care what anybody thinks except myself and my boyfriend, and there are very few men who prefer women with short hair. I grow my hair because I want to, not because of someone else, and I am the type of person who most people only insult once or twice. But I know there are some people here who are harped on constantly. My mother used to make fairly frequent comments that once I hit 40 I will "have to" cut it. I informed her that I have no intention of looking like one of those "puff heads" I see running around. I told her that I don't plan to ever cut my hair because I have always thought that pictures I've seen of old women (not that 40 is old, but that seems to be her cut-off age for long hair) with white or grey long hair tied in a bun look much more dignified than silly little old ladies whose heads look like a dandelion gone to seed. And I aspire to look dignified when I get old.....so I don't hear about my hair anymore.

Another tactic that works with a lot of people is to tell them what your goal length is, and that "Maybe" you will cut it once you've reached that length. Give them some vague story about how you "always wanted" to have hair of a certain length. For some reason, I have found that a lot of people suddenly get really supportive that I want to get to classic length and those who were originally saying I should get a flippy "chic" little 'do, or made some other comment about cutting my hair, have now invested themselves in my hair's progress. The majority of them have even decided that maybe I should keep it long once I reach my goal.
So it depends on the type of criticism you are getting as to what the best response is.

Mostly it depends on the type of criticism you are getting. Some (probably most) people need to be ignored or given the "maybe I will cut when..." story and they will eventually back off or even want to help you in your growing. Some people need to be told point blank that their comments are hurtful, because they genuinely think they are somehow "helping". And some people need to get the same kind of nonsense they're dishing out. ("Why don't I cut my hair? Well why don't you grow out your hair? You wouldn't look so much like someone's grandma." Or "Why don't you grow out your hair? It would hide your double chin"). I don't generally advocate being rude, but some people are relentless, and when nice tactics don't work, being rude right back at them tends to quiet them down. People who are making hurtful comments for hurtful reasons can always dish it out, but they can't take it when they get the same sort of thing.

Whatever tactic you choose, if you stand your ground long enough, the naysayers will eventually find someone else to go pester.

Sorry this was so long, but I don't know what kind of issues you are having, so I thought I'd include the most common ones I've run into.
Happy growing!!!

1cF/Mii
CO washing most days, shampoo 1 or 2 times a week. Detangler as needed. Deep condition about once a week with jojoba or plain ol' coconut oil. Regularly use coconut oil on ends when the weather is dry. Exfoliate scalp with sugar mixed into cheap conditioner whenever I feel like I need it. Heat styling (dryers/curling iron) used probably 6 times a year only for special occasions.

23/32.25"/tailbone

My hair right about the time I started, I had tried to dye the bleached ends to match the roots, but as you can see from the next pic, the dye didn't hold very long.



November 2008 since I started using cassia. Not much growth since August but I Love the shine I'm getting from the Cassia and it seems to really be protecting my ends


April 2011
All advice is welcome. Thank you so much. I think your hair is beautiful.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
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Joined: May 25th, 2012, 8:54 am

May 26th, 2012, 4:15 pm #13

On rare occasions I have had either a friend or family member suggest that I should get a more
"up-to-date" hair style (i.e. cut my hair) but I just ignore them. Strangers generally don't approach me but if I do happen to catch them staring, I just smile. They generally will mumble some sort of vague compliment because I think I scare them. LOL I put the naysayers on ignore and just don't respond. They eventually give up and walk away. Wear your hair the way YOU want. Don't be victimized by the negativity of a few. Have you ever considered that perhaps they are jealous?? By the way, your hair looks gorgeous !


I appreciate the help. I am just hurting because it is my "family" but all of this is bein mulled over and I plan to employ many of the suggestions from all y'all.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
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Joined: May 25th, 2012, 8:54 am

May 26th, 2012, 4:18 pm #14

I know it can be frustrating to be approached with negative comments. The girls all have it right here....do what makes YOU happy, and ignore the rest. I think sometimes the negativity comes from jealousy, maybe because they can't grow theirs long, or they don't want to commit to it. Others think they are helping, by saying things like "a shorter hairstyle would make you look younger", etc. Heck, I have even been accused of being selfish, because I wouldn't donate my hair to Locks of Love.

There are alot of people out there that just don't understand why we want our hair long. That's fine....that's their opinion. Stay true to yourself, do what you feel is right for you, and the rest will fall into place.

And, if all else fails, just come here....we understand and support you!

~Misty

Joined 8/26/2010

Hair Length: 37.25" (when left curly)
38.00" (when straightened out)

Hair Type: 3cnii
Naturally curly

Goal Length: We'll see how long it will get!

Main Goal: To have my hair be healthy and long

***One hair on the head is worth two in the brush***

Please visit my Etsy shop:http://www.etsy.com/shop/SilverHeelsTradingCo
My Website:http://hotrodangel.webs.com/

Love your pictures! And thanks all of this support is a comfort after the week I have had.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
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Joined: May 25th, 2012, 8:54 am

May 26th, 2012, 4:21 pm #15

Joni, first of all, your hair is strikingly beautiful! To cut it would be a shame, especially if you like it.

When criticism lurks around the corner, I draw the line in the sand real quick. I am 63 and have had long hair most of my life, so I have heard every negative remark there is about my hair. I simply say, "discussion about my hair is not an option, unless you have something nice to say". That cuts it off before I have to hear the silly stuff.

In years gone by, I would be polite and listen. Then I would try and give some justification for why I have long hair. That seemed to feed the problem. So, I have learned the hard way to quickly cut off the conversation and ignore any further attempts to talk about my hair.

It really doesn't matter what others say. What matters is what you like and how you want your hair to look like.
2A ~ very fine ~ ii/iii ~ knee length
Your hair is gorgeous and I do believe that I will do as I see fit. No more justifing my choices. It is MY hair! I do have a temper to go with my red hair and I guess I can employ a "tempered" response
Thanks for the compliments as well. I guess I needed them to salve my soul.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
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Joined: May 25th, 2012, 8:54 am

May 26th, 2012, 4:24 pm #16

I take it too much to heart. I cut my hair years ago after repeated comments from colleagues that women over 30 should wear their hair short and that the older you get the shorter it should be. So I cut and hated it. I started growing it out but felt so much pressure and didn't know what to do until I discovered this board and decided to do what made me happy.

I don't get as many comments now - I'm 47 - but I do still feel societal pressure to conform and cut it all off and there are many times when I wonder if I would look more attractive if I cut or if I'd feel less like an outcast if I looked like everyone else. But those moments usually pass and I decide to keep it long because I like having long hair.







Progress from June 2006 - January 2011

2a/M/ii
Mid-Dark brown with natural red and silver highlights; fringe/bangs.
Starting length: 25"/62.5cm (BSL)
Current length: 33.5" (Cut back from 38.5" February 2011 following a massive shed.)
New Goal: Healthy hair that I'm happy with!

Current routine: Scalp wash every second to third day using Chagrin Valley shampoo bars. Finish with acidic rinse (1 tsp ACV or lime juice to 1 to 2 cups of water or herbal tea). Full wash once a week using A'kin conditioner or an egg wash to cleanse the length and shampoo bars or A'kin shampoo on the scalp.
Other: Oiling when required with avocado and almond oil or shea butter; regular micro-trims; BBB; wooden comb; Mason Pearson comb; hair sticks, Flexi-8's, Ficcare, and other hair friendly toys.

'Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfailing beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.' 1 Peter 3:3-4

My Website

On Eagles' Wings (My Blog)

My Method for Scalp Washes
I have cut my hair for a myriad of reasons over the years. Most were my choice, but some were for sociatal acceptance. I know that men seem to be a bit enamored of my Rapunzel locks and that is a bit of a salve, several people have suggested that perhaps the ones that criticize are jealous. I am beginning to believe that they are correct. Your hair is gorgeous and I appreciate the help you have given me.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
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Joined: May 25th, 2012, 8:54 am

May 26th, 2012, 4:26 pm #17

I always make it known how much I love my hair long. Rarely does someone comment negatively after knowing how much I love it. For someone to do so, well, I probably wouldn't value their opinion very much if the knew I loved my hair long and then said something against it. I wouldn't really care because I wear my hair this way because I just love having longer hair. It's "me". There will always be people who try to get you to do what they want and what they like. But be true to yourself... and if they say something negative, just say, well, I LOVE it this way!

-Fox

January 2010
Special thanks to Carlynn for my custom doll signature!
17/32.75/40+ Type 2CMii (3B underneath layer) Somewhat fine, slightly wavy (with curls on the underneath layer), Hennaed Auburn. F.L.A. Ranking, Colonel. To see more pictures, click on the gallery collection link found here:<a href="">http://www.geocities.com/ifoxbox/ForeverFox.html> Forever Fox </a>
My Journal: <a href="">http://www.longhairloom.com/foxjournal.htm> Faithfully Fox </a>


Want custom sticks? Please visit: Sticks and Stones, Hairsticks by Fox

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Choose your words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become habits. Study your habits, they will become your character. Develop your character for it becomes your destiny." -John MacArthur

"Love makes you beautiful" - quote from my nephew at age 7



Products Used:

Ida's Shampoo Bars



Aubrey Organics S&C
Nature's Gate Conditioners


Vinegar/herbal rinses

Oils: Jojoba, Sweet Almond, Virgin Oil de Coco Creme, Monoi, Castor, Meadowfoam Seed & essential oils
Shea Butter (from which I make my own leave-in)

MP Popular Mix Brush and Pure BB brush
Wood and Horn combs
Vitamins/Minerals/Herbal supplements
Your hair is so lovely. And I did tell them that I loved it, felt I had to defend and explain myself. Now I will either ignore or stop it cold with I love it long and it is my choice. Thanks for all the wonderful encouragement.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
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Joined: May 25th, 2012, 8:54 am

May 26th, 2012, 4:28 pm #18

But I ignore it, and keep it long anyway! Hang out here, it helps to have others who love their hair long too.

April 2012

October 2011

August 2011


1BFii
Hair: All natural dark brown and silver.
Washing: Once or twice a week. Condition from ears on down. Cold as I can stand it final rinse. Shampoo/Conditioner:Aubrey's Honeysuckle Rose Shampoo and Conditioner. Nature's Gate Organics Biotin Shampoo and Conditioner.
Wide tooth comb.
Kind Regards,
lacemitts
Your hair is beautiful no matter the length. I appreciate your help. Everyone has really stepped up and given me wonderful advice.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
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Joined: May 25th, 2012, 8:54 am

May 26th, 2012, 4:31 pm #19

I am having issues about my choice to have long hair... Any advice?

1aFiii auburn (natural)
I am new to this. If I missed someone I am sorry, I hope to learn to navigate better once I have done this a while. Everyone here is wonderful.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
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Jules
Jules

May 27th, 2012, 3:14 am #20

The person or persons are my step family... My step mother has never ever liked me. Her side of my "family" (they are city to my country) constantly find fault with me and my appearance. I am not as pretty as them and I am country, a tom boy, and so on. I went to spend a week with my daddy and all I got (as usual) was criticism, back handed compliments and a general disdain for my choices and way of life. My father is in rapidly failing health so I just tried to grin and bear it as they say... But I lost my mother young, and she is (sadly) all that I had to measure myself against and find a direction to be a woman.
My mother had gorgeous hair, she wore it long but it was so curly it didn't look as long as it was. I got her color and my daddy's fine but thick strands. I loved my hair growing up. My brothers called me Rapunzel or Punz all my life. It was a special bond between me and my real mama, and my daddy loved it. My brothers adore me (to this day) and my daddy (I believe) still loves me but she has viewed me as a competitor for his affections and he drew away to stop her constant bitching... (forgive my language)
I worry that I am being silly wanting long hair. I am 38 as of May 7th this year.
But my hair reminds me of happier times and how my daddy would brush it and tell me stories about Rapunzel...
I appreciate all the advice and the warm welcome to this lovely site.
I feel welcome, and peaceful here.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
they have never liked you, then why take their criticism to heart? If it wasn't your hair, it would be something else they would find fault with. You won't be able to please them so, for your father's sake, just let the comments go over your head. It seems that those you mean the most to you - your brothers and father - love you for who you are, so ignore the others.

I'm sorry for the loss of your mother but perhaps she has a sister or cousin or close friend still living who could be a mentor for you? If not, by keeping your hair long you are keeping a part of her alive too - for yourself and for others who knew you. Perhaps that will strengthen you in your resolve to have long hair.

And no, you're not silly for wanting longer hair at your age. I know of some women who don't find the courage to grow their hair long until they get to your age. The rules about hair and age have more to do with making money than anything else. Just think, if every woman over 30 suddenly stopped going to the salon every 6-8 weeks where that industry would be.
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Fox
Joined: January 13th, 2003, 7:14 am

May 27th, 2012, 7:41 am #21

Your hair is so lovely. And I did tell them that I loved it, felt I had to defend and explain myself. Now I will either ignore or stop it cold with I love it long and it is my choice. Thanks for all the wonderful encouragement.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
I hope you don't have any more issues with it!

-Fox

January 2010
Special thanks to Carlynn for my custom doll signature!
17/32.75/40+ Type 2CMii (3B underneath layer) Somewhat fine, slightly wavy (with curls on the underneath layer), Hennaed Auburn. F.L.A. Ranking, Colonel. To see more pictures, click on the gallery collection link found here:<a href="">http://www.geocities.com/ifoxbox/ForeverFox.html> Forever Fox </a>
My Journal: <a href="">http://www.longhairloom.com/foxjournal.htm> Faithfully Fox </a>


Want custom sticks? Please visit: Sticks and Stones, Hairsticks by Fox

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Choose your words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become habits. Study your habits, they will become your character. Develop your character for it becomes your destiny." -John MacArthur

"Love makes you beautiful" - quote from my nephew at age 7



Products Used:

Ida's Shampoo Bars



Aubrey Organics S&C
Nature's Gate Conditioners


Vinegar/herbal rinses

Oils: Jojoba, Sweet Almond, Virgin Oil de Coco Creme, Monoi, Castor, Meadowfoam Seed & essential oils
Shea Butter (from which I make my own leave-in)

MP Popular Mix Brush and Pure BB brush
Wood and Horn combs
Vitamins/Minerals/Herbal supplements
-Fox
Starting my growing journey all over again after health issues took a major toll on my hair.
17/25.5/35+ - Type 2C-3bMii Somewhat fine, wavy (with corkscrew curls on the underneath layer), natural color is light brown with gold and red highlights. Previously used henna for years, but had it highlighted out over a couple of years. Currently trying to decide what to do as far as continuing with that to keep up the roots or doing something different.

Products Used:
Aubrey Organics S&C - my most favorite, but currently using Neways Second Chance Shampoo, SheaMoisture's High Porosity Moisture-Seal Masque,
Sally Beauty Generic Value Product's version of Matrix Biolage conditioner (as a leave in, not rinsed out)
Aubrey Organics Chia Gel
Vinegar/herbal rinses
Oils: Jojoba, Castor, Coconut & essential oils
MP Popular Mix Brush
MP & Madora wide tooth combs
Vitamins/Minerals/Herbal supplements

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Choose your words, for they become actions. Understand your actions, for they become habits. Study your habits, they will become your character. Develop your character for it becomes your destiny."
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Joined: November 11th, 2009, 8:52 pm

May 27th, 2012, 10:06 am #22

The person or persons are my step family... My step mother has never ever liked me. Her side of my "family" (they are city to my country) constantly find fault with me and my appearance. I am not as pretty as them and I am country, a tom boy, and so on. I went to spend a week with my daddy and all I got (as usual) was criticism, back handed compliments and a general disdain for my choices and way of life. My father is in rapidly failing health so I just tried to grin and bear it as they say... But I lost my mother young, and she is (sadly) all that I had to measure myself against and find a direction to be a woman.
My mother had gorgeous hair, she wore it long but it was so curly it didn't look as long as it was. I got her color and my daddy's fine but thick strands. I loved my hair growing up. My brothers called me Rapunzel or Punz all my life. It was a special bond between me and my real mama, and my daddy loved it. My brothers adore me (to this day) and my daddy (I believe) still loves me but she has viewed me as a competitor for his affections and he drew away to stop her constant bitching... (forgive my language)
I worry that I am being silly wanting long hair. I am 38 as of May 7th this year.
But my hair reminds me of happier times and how my daddy would brush it and tell me stories about Rapunzel...
I appreciate all the advice and the warm welcome to this lovely site.
I feel welcome, and peaceful here.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
I'm so sorry to hear that the criticism comes from your stepfamily That really saddens me. Just reading how they treated you made me sad, but it also made things clear. Like Jules said, you are aware that those family members will always find faults with you and your choices... so it's best to ignore their words and cope with them as best as you can. I understand that your current situation is rather difficult, regarding your father's condition, but I believe you will brave it
And no, it's never too late to have long hair Forget what the magazines say, and rock your long locks







Hair type: 2b/M/C/iii
Current length: classic
Primary goal: thickening the ends

Hair journal:
http://www.network54.com/Forum/663765

Routine:
- NW/SO on the scalp, with periodical length
washes (Alverde birke-salbei shampoo for the length)
- brushing, scritching, preening and massaging daily
- occasional S&D trims
- trimming the ends whenever they start looking funny
Hair type: 2b/M/C/iii
Current length: classic+
Current goal: knee

Current routine:
~ alternating a NW/SO (no water/sebum only) routine with occasional washes. I use the techniques of NW/SO (brushing, scritching and preening) almost daily, but I do a shampoo wash every month or two.

Products and tools:
~ Alverde Birke-Salbei shampoo
~ occasionally oiling the ends with either coconut or almond oil; currently experimenting with argan oil
~ an assortment of BBBs
~ Tangle Teezer/Tangle Angel & wide-tooth comb
~ hair friendly hair toys, for putting up hair and forgetting about it

Hair journal (rarely updated nowadays):
http://www.network54.com/Forum/663765
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Joined: January 26th, 2005, 12:27 am

May 27th, 2012, 12:00 pm #23

Your hair is beautiful no matter the length. I appreciate your help. Everyone has really stepped up and given me wonderful advice.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
Come visit here, as often as you can, I and the others can lend you support. Most of us have family members or people in our lives who are negative about our hair and more.

April 2012

October 2011

August 2011


1BFii
Hair: All natural dark brown and silver.
Washing: Once or twice a week. Condition from ears on down. Cold as I can stand it final rinse. Shampoo/Conditioner:Aubrey's Honeysuckle Rose Shampoo and Conditioner. Nature's Gate Organics Biotin Shampoo and Conditioner.
Wide tooth comb.
Kind Regards,
lacemitts
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Joined: January 8th, 2012, 7:43 pm

May 28th, 2012, 12:46 am #24

I am new to this. If I missed someone I am sorry, I hope to learn to navigate better once I have done this a while. Everyone here is wonderful.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
interestingly enough, you would probably never approach someone about their hair being too short....or damaged, etc.
"Thanks for the input!" is my stock response...this way, you remain polite, but usually the conversation ends there:)



1bfii
2/2012- 28 inches,
GOAL 1- 31 inches by July 2012 (wedding day!)
Long term goal: Classic Length

Aubrey Organics Shampoo and Conditioner
ACV rinses with rosemary and lavender
Aubrey Organics Nustyle detangler and shine booster
Weleda Rosemary Hair Oil, jojoba oil with rosemary EO and 100% Argan Oil on ends
Deep conditioning with virgin coconut oil
Pureed Fresh Avocado as a hair mask every month (leave on for 30 min.)
Biotin and Prenatal vitamins
daily scalp massages
MP rake comb, BB brush before bed
(still a proud nursing mama!)
http://bendingbirches2010.blogspot.com/



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Joined: May 1st, 2012, 12:42 pm

May 28th, 2012, 10:13 pm #25

I am having issues about my choice to have long hair... Any advice?

1aFiii auburn (natural)
Just do what makes you happy and don't let anyone talk you into cutting your hair because it is what they think you should do. I would tell your dad how you feel.


I cut my hair into a pixie in 2000 from shoulder length hair because I was getting pressure from my in laws. I have been sorry every since. One evening a year ago I was having dinner with friends and a woman walked by with tailbone length hair. I heard her comment she had just turned 40. My friend thought it was horrible that this woman had such long hair at 40 and all I could think is how beautiful her hair was. At that moment I decided to grow my hair.

Blue Hosta
Age:55
3aMii (2c in front) Dark Brown with layers and bangs
15.5//classic
I do dye the roots


AVG, Jojoba Oil, Coconut Oil, CO
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Joined: November 20th, 2004, 8:38 pm

May 29th, 2012, 1:30 am #26

I am having issues about my choice to have long hair... Any advice?

1aFiii auburn (natural)
That's my advice. When you have such a special reason for having you hair long, don't allow any thoughtless person to rob you of that treasure. The treasure being your reason behind your longer tresses, and your tresses!

elvea rose ~
guardian of faerie mist tresses
1c / ultra fine / i

"...like the soft light of the moon silvering
over the evening of life." ~ Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

My hopeful goal is ~
Tresses to my hips and mock faerie-tale endings
... or the real ones someday...

My hair does well with Sweet Almond Oil for everyday oiling,
it's blended with Rose Geranium and Rosemary.
EVOO for deeper treatments.
Every so often I soak my tresses before I wash with a diluted batch
of Napa Valley Oak Aged Organic White Wine Vinegar.
Love Alba's Acai shampoo and conditioner.
When I remember, I massage a little of Desert Lily's aloe vera
gel on my scalp just before a shampooing.

Winter's dawn '11, tresses fall at 28.5 inches.
Springturn '12 after a trim, nudging 30
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Joined: May 25th, 2012, 8:54 am

May 30th, 2012, 6:34 pm #27

interestingly enough, you would probably never approach someone about their hair being too short....or damaged, etc.
"Thanks for the input!" is my stock response...this way, you remain polite, but usually the conversation ends there:)



1bfii
2/2012- 28 inches,
GOAL 1- 31 inches by July 2012 (wedding day!)
Long term goal: Classic Length

Aubrey Organics Shampoo and Conditioner
ACV rinses with rosemary and lavender
Aubrey Organics Nustyle detangler and shine booster
Weleda Rosemary Hair Oil, jojoba oil with rosemary EO and 100% Argan Oil on ends
Deep conditioning with virgin coconut oil
Pureed Fresh Avocado as a hair mask every month (leave on for 30 min.)
Biotin and Prenatal vitamins
daily scalp massages
MP rake comb, BB brush before bed
(still a proud nursing mama!)
http://bendingbirches2010.blogspot.com/


That turn around is a nice one! And you are correct I would never approach anyone with a negative comment.
Thanks

1aFiii auburn (natural)
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Joined: May 25th, 2012, 8:54 am

May 30th, 2012, 6:35 pm #28

Just do what makes you happy and don't let anyone talk you into cutting your hair because it is what they think you should do. I would tell your dad how you feel.


I cut my hair into a pixie in 2000 from shoulder length hair because I was getting pressure from my in laws. I have been sorry every since. One evening a year ago I was having dinner with friends and a woman walked by with tailbone length hair. I heard her comment she had just turned 40. My friend thought it was horrible that this woman had such long hair at 40 and all I could think is how beautiful her hair was. At that moment I decided to grow my hair.

Blue Hosta
Age:55
3aMii (2c in front) Dark Brown with layers and bangs
15.5//classic
I do dye the roots


AVG, Jojoba Oil, Coconut Oil, CO
It is hard for me to ignore because I hurt since I do consider them family.

1aFiii auburn (natural)
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Joined: May 25th, 2012, 8:54 am

May 30th, 2012, 6:38 pm #29

That's my advice. When you have such a special reason for having you hair long, don't allow any thoughtless person to rob you of that treasure. The treasure being your reason behind your longer tresses, and your tresses!

elvea rose ~
guardian of faerie mist tresses
1c / ultra fine / i

"...like the soft light of the moon silvering
over the evening of life." ~ Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

My hopeful goal is ~
Tresses to my hips and mock faerie-tale endings
... or the real ones someday...

My hair does well with Sweet Almond Oil for everyday oiling,
it's blended with Rose Geranium and Rosemary.
EVOO for deeper treatments.
Every so often I soak my tresses before I wash with a diluted batch
of Napa Valley Oak Aged Organic White Wine Vinegar.
Love Alba's Acai shampoo and conditioner.
When I remember, I massage a little of Desert Lily's aloe vera
gel on my scalp just before a shampooing.

Winter's dawn '11, tresses fall at 28.5 inches.
Springturn '12 after a trim, nudging 30
Family means a lot to me. They are what I have as far as my daddy being in love with her and telling me that they are my family. I am practicing the art of ignore or distract but it is a learning process.... Thanks

1aFiii auburn (natural)
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Joined: February 20th, 2012, 4:02 am

June 2nd, 2012, 3:10 am #30

I am having issues about my choice to have long hair... Any advice?

1aFiii auburn (natural)
is negative about me letting my hair grow long again!
"But it's so cute! Why would you want to grow it out?"
And my mother loves me, I know, but really?

I think sometimes, as women, we just want those around us to like us and be happy with us. And we will often sacrifice our own wants, needs, loves and dreams in hopes of achieving this end. While noble and selfless, it usually doesn't end well.

Don't waste your time, Joni. I think they're hoping to drag you down to their level and are trying to make you feel ugly and small. Don't let them.



1aFi
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