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Perez de Cuellar
Perez de Cuellar

May 16th, 2016, 9:24 pm #1

Colleagues who remember postings in latter years on goings on in the Cricketers in Brighton may be interested to learn that UN investigations haven identified certain key faults in the plumbing. It turns out that faulty copper pipes sourced from parts of the Home Counties continually made squealing noises and kept rubbing against male patrons in the Gents. Not only that, but they rusted very quickly and left an unsavoury orange dust all over the lavatory seat. That, coupled with poor workmen from Kent who went at those pipes like there was no tomorrow, despite having decent replacements at home in their warehouse, meant a complete shambles.

Ongoing enquiries have shown that the company that made these orange flaking pipes has now relocated its headquarters near to HMRC HQ in Westminster, possibly in a move to distance themselves from the plumbing mess that was the cricketers plumbing. Only time will tell if they are responsible for any further plumbing issues, but it is particularly worrying that both pipe company and plumbers now seem to be basing themselves in Westminster. What plumbing disasters will now appear in Westminster we can only speculate. Attempts made by the European Court to prosecute said parties appear to have faltered, so the general public would do well to beware orange flaking pipes in and around Westminster that squeal, distort easily to a twisted mess, and show every sign of having been made by a person with no knowledge at all of how to lay pipes, let alone have any self knowledge.

PCS Toilet users beware!