Dan Distoner Vs Blade Alexander

Dan Distoner Vs Blade Alexander

Osh Vaughan
The Whole F'n Show
Osh Vaughan
The Whole F'n Show
Joined: 06 Apr 2007, 03:27

12 Jun 2017, 23:33 #1

Dan DiStoner vs Blade Alexander
- Dan DiStoner made his return at Mayhem and took out Justice Reigns and Adam Bradley, where as Blade made quick work of Corey Steele and is looking to continue his progress

Bob Mitchell
Joined: 07 May 2017, 21:07

17 Jun 2017, 23:57 #2

From the desk of Bob Mitchell:

(We open on the run-down office of Bob Mitchell, it's nothing to write home about, a leased out space from what used to be a used car dealership that went out of business some time ago, but when in London you take what you can get on a shoe-string budget.
Inside this office we find the titular Bob Mitchell sitting back with his feet up on the desk, dressed in a tan suit, his arms behind his head. In front of the desk sits Blade Alexander wearing a much nicer suit sitting in a much nicer chair. Standing beside the desk glowering as per usual is The Commander.)

BM: He's got a fucking point, you don't look intimidating, you look like a fucking guy who's gonna hit on his own niece at a family reunion. His ring jacket costs more than your goddamned car. If you're gonna be part of the Company, then you really gotta start looking like it.

TC: What do you expect? I won one match in a decade, I haven't exactly got a budget.

BM: Never mind your goddamned budget. We'll get to you, first we gotta get down to business. The camera's here.

(He nods towards the IIW camera.)

BM: I'm guessing you're here abut that DiStoner guy. What a piece of work there, right? The guy's the fucking highest strung stoner I ever seen. Sure, guy likes to have a puff and even I have from time to time when the blood pressure starts to spike, but man, what's his deal.

BA: He's pissed off.

(The camera swings to Blade, dressed in his fine suit, fixing his pocket square who neither looks at or cares that there's a camera there.)

BA: Once this guy got to billing. He was a big deal and everyone bent over backwards for him, then he hit the bong and his credibility and notoriety slid off. High or not sooner or later you've got to get annoyed by it.

BM: Guy certainly knows how to make a statement, I'll give him that.

BA: Fuck his statement. He's back, good. He wants what he once had long ago back? Fuck that. Come take it. That guy had it all and let it slip through his fingers, I don't give a shit how bad he wants it back now. If he wanted it that bad he'd never have let go of it. Now he's supposed to be back with a chip on his shoulder? Good for him, no one cares. I've got a chip on my shoulder twice the size of his. He wants it back, I've never even gotten it but I'm willing to take a chunk out of him and eat his fucking entrails just to get a glimpse of it.

BM: Geez-us, talk about heavy. That's why I signed you Blade, that's why I brought you here. Intense passion. Blood lust translates to big money, and the willingness to fulfil that blood-lust cashes in even bigger. That's what I want to see out of my headliner.

BA: All I've heard this past week was DiStoner is back. He jumps in and single handed decides who he number one contender to the International Championship, and the problem I have with that is I wasn't involved. Already title shots are being handed this way and that and Blade Alexander is being overlooked. I didn't come to IIW to get overlooked yet again. I didn't come to IIW to get cast into the background. I'm here for the International Championship, and I'm not here to patiently wait it out.

BM: The Company needs some gold boys, you're right. You put down this DiStoner guy fresh out of the blocks while his still all full of piss and fire and something good has to come our way. Results get rewarded, both with me and in IIW. You keep beating the guys they put in front of you and come Pay Per View time their going to have to back on Blade Alexander equalling buy-rates. Maybe DiStoner did the same thing back in the day, and right now he's come back with all that fire, well that’s exactly what ends up getting you burned and I fucking plan on you being the guy that puts that fire out and pretty quick at that. You do it, you get in there and put down that DiStoner just like you did that last kid and I'll break down Osh Vaughan's office door if I have to so you get some gold around your waist.

BA: I'll do better than win, I'll make a statement. I'll make a statement so emphatic everyone is forced to sit up and take notice of not just me, not just you, but I'll put the whole Company on the professional wrestling map. You'll be out of this ghetto dump into a proper office and have a lineup of every free agent in the business banging down your door just to get signed with Bob Mitchell. I'm not just going to face DiStoner and beat him, I'm going to break him. I'm going to show everyone that the past in IIW is being forced out to pasture and I'll christen the Company in high drug-soaked blood. I'll give you a victory so decisive Bob even the big moron here will raise a goblet and toast our success.

(He indicates The Commander who's dressed in the very same gym shorts he calls ring gear, who's none to impressed by the claim that he's a moron.)

BA: It's a new era in IIW, one where the Alexander legacy rises and claims it's natural position on the top of the mountain. No one's going to back seat us and when they get booked against Blade Alexander their going to have to make a tough decision about their future and well being.

BM: I like it, I love when my guys get fired up. That's what I need! Fire! Heat! Make some waves! We need to shake this business up and all those cheese-eatin' ham-and-eggs sitting in the stands! I want to see fire out of you guys and anyone else that comes through my door. Bring some mayhem to Mayhem! Blade next Monday I want you to be the knife that cuts the dead weight from IIW, hell, come some live weight, so everyone we mean business. You two guys carrying around the chips on your shoulders, with the attitude you guys have and the willingness to get your hands dirty and shed some blood, there's no reason the Company wont be dripping in gold sooner rather than later!

BA: First shot I get I'm taking it. I'm sick and tired of walking around without a championship around my waist. I don't have the patience to wait for it. I'm taking it.

BM: Great! Now go out there and get it!

(He motions towards the door making a shooing motion.)

BM: I'm serious, both of you get out. Take that damned camera with you! I have calls to make, I can't be sitting around all day while you talk trash about everyone and everything in IIW, now get out. I can't build an empire looking at you guys all day. And Commander, don't take of, we have some more business to discuss you and I.

(The shooing apparently takes place, we can assume that Commander and Blade along with the IIW camera do leave, but we wont know for sure for now, as the scene just cuts to black.)

Joined: 21 Mar 2017, 20:14

23 Jun 2017, 15:10 #3

Scene Opens with Dan DiStoner standing in an empty arena with only cameras rolling. The prepetually stoned superstar is pacing back and forth in the ring. Dressed in Jeans and a t-shirt with a wolf howling at the moon. He pulls a joint from behind his ear and a lighter from his pocket. Lighting the joint and drawing in a large cloud of smoke.

DiStoner: I asked for an empty arena because the fans don't deserve to hear me speak directly to them. This message goes out not only to my opponent Blade " The Daywanker" Alexander.....his boyfriend The Commander.......their bitch Mr Mitchell.......and not to mention that piece of garbage our FORMER hardcore Champion Justice. Whom all week has been running his mouth saying I made things personal by making him lose a match. So first things first Justice. To me this is just business. I will step on whomever I need to step on. To take my rightful place at the top of IIW, even if I have to step on that Pissant of an owner Osh Vaughan, I'll do it. Now Justine......Oh I'm sorry Justice. You wanna settle things like men. Here I am bitch. Right in the middle of the ring. I'll take you on in a dark alley, in this ring, on a scaffolding......just name the time and place and as the famous Doc Holiday said....I'll be your huckleberry.

DiStoner takes another huge rip off of his joint, paces more in the ring and lifts his sunglasses up over his ever bloodshot eyes.

DiStoner: Now Blade......I don't know much of your career. But son, you are alot like me. A man with a chip on his shoulder. But I guarentee "Mine is Bigger". This week we face off at Mayhem. With nothing on the line except for pride. And let me tell ya. I am a very proud man . I know my accomplishments all over the world don't matter in IIW. But let me remind you of something boy.........This week you step into the ring with a 4x Heavyweight Champion, a 2x NWA International Champion, 1x King of the Cage and 1x Tag team champion. Most people don't even achieve half of that in their entire career. Yet I was able to accomplish that in 5 short years. Before having to go into semi-retirement due to a would be assassins bullet. Now that I am back. I am here to make everyones life a living hell.

Commander I know you have your butt buddy's back.....you have it all the time. But I swear to you. If you make your presence known in this match. I will personally rip your teeth out.....and shove them in your pants....so you can chew your own ass out for pissing me off. I will make your life a living hell from this point out. So do yourself a favor.....keep your fat ass in the back, and your nose outta my business and we won't have any problems.

DiStoner again pacing takes one final rip off the joint before crushing the end of it out in his hand. Turns and faces the camera one final time.

DiStoner: Now Mr Mitchell, I've seen your office....that rundown dump of a used car lot. And I also did some research on you and that spot. You got into this business after a string of 4 car lots that you owned at the same location of your office went under. You picked two dead horses as clients. Neither man you represent has done anything worthwhile in this business. So what makes you think with your guidence they will do anything either. Forgive me for sounding a little "Corny" But how do you expect to eat.........when the people you represent couldn't even sell a ticket. I'm the one the people come to see. I am the one who puts the asses in the seat. I am the one that this week will prevail because I am Dan DiStoner.....and I will make all of you.....my personal bitches.

DiStoner then drops the microphone and the camera begins to fade out.

Bob Mitchell
Joined: 07 May 2017, 21:07

24 Jun 2017, 14:46 #4

From the desk of Bob Mitchell:

We open on a hallway in the IIW arena. Down it marches Bob Mitchell along with his prize signee Blade Alexander.

BA: Where we going anyway Bob?

BM: Just come on you've got to check this out, I just found out this was here...

They round the corner where the come upon a door emblazoned with the name tag Bob Mitchell.

BA: What the hell is this?

BM: It's my new office! Can you believe it? It was in my fucking contract the whole time too, I get an on-site office. Good thing too because we were isolated in that old car lot out there on the outskirts of the city. I needed to be right here in the action with business picking up, especially with tryouts coming soon.

BA: Tryouts, how's that going anyway?

BM: Great I've got a decent selection of girls who've applied and are on route to start try outs this weekend.

He unlocks the door and they both go in to find Bob's new office. A decent, clean space with much newer furniture than the old spot, complete with a plush desk chair, a fern in one corner and a relatively new computer.

BM: Now this is more like it.

BA: Beats an old car lots that's for sure.

BM: Did you see that idiot DiStoner's promo? He thought I actually ran that place! I'm a fucking American, I've been in this gloomy-ass country all of two months and he thinks I've somehow ran a bunch of used car lots in London.

BA: Well the guys has burnt out every last brain cell on whatever shit he keeps sucking on. What did you do before you got into wrestling anyway?

BM: Before I joined IIW I was an road agent in another company and before that I sold insurance for years. But I got tired of ripping people off and dealing with problems, it was time for a change, give them something they wanna pay for, and man let me tell you, it's way easier to get people to put down their money on tickets and t-shirts and pay per view that it is to pay for insurance. You can't really hold that against that DiStoner though, he lost touch with reality a long time ago.

BA: The poor bastard thinks people think of him as a threat, and that the people in the crowd would actually pay money to see him. What gets me is he's so high that he's lost all perception of reality. Dude claims oh, no one cares what you've done outside of IIW, then he goes on to list everything he's done like he expects me to be in awe of all the shit he did and respect him as some sort of legend. Guess what Danny? Neither one of us has done a goddamned thing in IIW of note, the big difference is that you've been here a lot longer and have accomplished nothing. All that stuff you did anywhere else: doesn't mean a thing. You might be proud of it, but it's worthless now, so while it gives you a nice little sense of entitlement, it doesn't mean that you deserve anything more than I do.

BM: Semi-retirement at the hands of an assassin's bullet. That's words he actually said.

BA: Right, like he was so high and mighty that anyone would actually want to take his life. That's not a reason for being a garbage wrestler, it's an excuse for not caring and half-assing your career. It's an excuse for every short coming you ever had, Danny. It's an excuse for thinking you were king shit elsewhere and you should be ruling the world. What you have isn't a chip on your shoulder, it's a grudge over the fact that every single person you step into the ring with in IIW is better than the guys you faced elsewhere. You have a grudge against the fact that real competition lives here and not so much in all those places you succeeded. You have a grudge against the fact that you coasted when things were easy but now that you're here in IIW and you can't have everything just handed to you then your pissed. You're pissed and you hold a grudge that you can't just sit back and get high and coast on by like you're used to. This take work, this is IIW and you actually have to put in effort and you hate that.

You stand there Danny, and you spout off all these insults and you make your threats, but the biggest thing that you hate, what you really dislike and have a grudge against is every single guy you stand there and make up your little stoner names for and make your little threats to knows they're all empty. You hold a grudge against all of us because we can see right through you. You're full of shit and you know it. You even admit it. That's why you hold up the stuff you've done elsewhere like it's supposed to be so damned impressive, yet you preface it all by saying it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter Dan. It doesn't matter and come Monday night it will continue not to matter. It's the story of your career. You did a bunch of stuff that doesn't matter somewhere that doesn't matter and Monday night when you're done running your stupid mouth you're still not going to matter. That's the real difference between you and I. The chip on my shoulder is going to go away. I'm actually going to succeed where you failed and accomplish stuff that matters here in IIW while you continue to be a colossal failure and disappointment. You're chip is just going to grow until eventually it eats you up and destroys you, and how do I know that's how it's going to end? That's how it always ends with you. Self-destruction. You get so angry that you're a failure, but no amount of insults can change that. It's what you know, it's what you rely on.

BM: It's sad to see a guy's life go so off the rails. DiStoner, you're really the kind of guy that would fit in with my boys in the Company, but look at you, you're too much of an outcast loner with a drug problem to ever really make it anywhere that requires any real effort. You talk about putting asses in the seats but that's never something you've done Dan. It's something you're incapable of doing. For years you've drifted along in IIW not giving a shit and the fans see that and see right through this little tirade you're on now, boy. They know that it'll burn out quickly just like all those joints you speed right through. They know that you're all fired up now and speaking some shit, but after Blade fucking puts you down on Monday you'll do what you always do and turn tail and hide. You hate competition no matter how much you want people to believe that this week you're bringing hell with you. That's why you can't sell tickets, it's why no one's paying to see you anymore. You can kid yourself, but they just aren't. Everyone's seen the Dan DiStoner show by now. You know that show that gets all hot and bothered at first but then quickly fizzles out leaving everyone underwhelmed and a little bit ripped off. That's the difference between you and my guys. Blade here, he's go an indy following that's been waiting years to see him in the big time. I brought him in so those people are chomping at the bit to buy tickets to see him on the big stage. Other people, well he's an unknown commodity so they're willing to pay to see what he can do. That's how you sell tickets.

And since you brought him up there's the Commander. He's floundered for years here in IIW, just like you have Dan. But unlike you he knows he needs something a bit more that just getting all riled up for a week. You cut one rather pedestrian promo and you think that puts you right back in the good graces here after years of shitting your bed in IIW. That doesn't sell anything to anyone. Everyone has weeks where they get riled, but you gotta sustain it. That's why I signed the Commander. Unlike you he's dedicated to getting his career out of the crapper and he's willing to do what it takes to get there. You think I'll just jump a guy from behind and I'll be getting title shots because my name meant something like ten years ago, but the Commander gets it takes a total fucking rebuild. I'm the master of remaking careers. Trust me, you wont last long trash talking the Commander like you did and you better hope to god he doesn't watch your sad attempt to threaten him in your little promo son or there will be no fucking force on earth or in the heavens that could keep him from doing permanent and irreversible damage to your pride, your body and your face. This isn't the jobber that just got by for over a decade just to afford lunch.

BA: Speaking of the big guy where is he anyway?

BM: He's on special assignment. It's time he got pulled out of the dollar store and put on prime time just like anyone who signs with the company deserves. He'll be back soon enough. Until then it's just up to you, but I know you're more than able to handle the likes of Dan DiStoner.

BA: After Monday night he'll be re branded as Danny Disappointment. Very fitting for a guy who's career never got off the ground. It's fucking hypocritical of a guy to claim that we've never done anything in the wrestling business when he himself claimed everything he did hasn't mattered and that we'd never sell tickets when his name hasn't sold a ticket in ages. People in glass houses, Danny. But what the fuck should we really expect from a fucking stoner. Insults that don't make sense and a sense of logic that only applies to other people.

BM: If it was a different time maybe we could save you Danny-boy. You could come into the company and I could remake you into all those things you wished you were, those lost poor out-of-reach things that made you so angry for never gaining, but there you are to bitter to accept the help you desperately need, too far gone in your own self-destruction to be salvageable. But, like my momma always said, no use crying over spilled milk. There's a lot of other more useful men and women out there more ready to accept the help they need and now I've got a brand new door right here ready and available for anyone who's ready to accept a role in the Company and give themselves over to Bob Mitchell to change their fortunes.

BA: Every Monday night when I step in the ring it's a showcase of what the Company can do. Monday night when I destroy DiStoner and show what the difference between a broken shell of a man is and what happens when you can work with others and put your trust in someone else it shows just how effective the Company can be and it's only a matter of time now before we start getting the proof, championships, that prove who really belongs in IIW and who the best really is. You talk a lot of trash DiStoner, but none of it is enough to prove you're anything less than professional wrestling trash. We're the other guys, we're the future champions.

Just then there's a knock on the door. Both men turn to look at the source of the sound.

BM: Come in...