also way OT, but seeking opinions

also way OT, but seeking opinions

Joined: September 24th, 2009, 3:01 pm

June 18th, 2012, 2:42 pm #1

this time of year always makes me angry. all the CONGRATs GRAD stuff for high school (and lower). and folks posting on FB their unending pride that their kid graduated High School - or brought home straight A's.

I don't celebrate when my kids bring home good grades. i EXPECT my kids to bring home good grades. of course I'm extremely pleased that my DD has a 96 average. She works for it and isn't doing it for ME, she does it bc she loves learning. I'm actually disappointed that my DS has a 92 average, because he's only exerting 20% effort to do so (just like his mama did!).

I EXPECT my kids to manage to finish High School and graduate. to me it's not some huge accomplishment that deserves a ton of accolades and endless over the top reward. (a cruise? really?? for not dropping out of High school?) Yes I'll have a party because it's a rite of passage, but geesh - you'd think some of these kids found the cure for cancer or invented a perpetual motion device!!

It was like this when I finished high school in 88, and i didn't understand it then either. I remember some of my friends getting CASH for good grades and wondering "wth is wrong with your parents?"

i dunno, maybe it's just me - i also don't congratulate people when they announce they're pregnant. "YAY you had successful unprotected sex!" Certainly I'm happy for them, but I just think we congratulate way too many people on things that are NOT actual accomplishments!!

(for the record - yes, i attending youngest's kindy graduation, and was happy about it and took a ton of vidoes of all the cute songs etc that the class did for the program - I don't take issue with ceremony, just with the degree of celebration and overuse of congratulations and pride! I will readily admit I'm not "burting with pride" that my little guy finished kindergarten - of COURSE he finished - that's why we sent him in the first place!)

ok - off my soap box - start your flamethrowers! LOL!!
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Joined: May 25th, 2006, 12:07 am

June 18th, 2012, 3:11 pm #2

Can I put you on my quote board? :-P (Yay... you successfully had unprotected sex...)

Okay, I think we pretty much agree. I was extremely proud of my kids for graduating, but we homeschooled and they didn't get a graduation or any gifts or money or... anything. They got to the end of school and were done as evidenced by a parent placing their hand on the kid's head and saying "you are now Graduated."

The girls went away on trips after high school and paid for them themselves and DS #2 is working out of the province for the summer. DS #1... got to do nothing... Sad...

Anyway- I try to ignore what the neighbours are doing at the best of times.
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Joined: November 20th, 2006, 5:53 pm

June 18th, 2012, 4:43 pm #3

this time of year always makes me angry. all the CONGRATs GRAD stuff for high school (and lower). and folks posting on FB their unending pride that their kid graduated High School - or brought home straight A's.

I don't celebrate when my kids bring home good grades. i EXPECT my kids to bring home good grades. of course I'm extremely pleased that my DD has a 96 average. She works for it and isn't doing it for ME, she does it bc she loves learning. I'm actually disappointed that my DS has a 92 average, because he's only exerting 20% effort to do so (just like his mama did!).

I EXPECT my kids to manage to finish High School and graduate. to me it's not some huge accomplishment that deserves a ton of accolades and endless over the top reward. (a cruise? really?? for not dropping out of High school?) Yes I'll have a party because it's a rite of passage, but geesh - you'd think some of these kids found the cure for cancer or invented a perpetual motion device!!

It was like this when I finished high school in 88, and i didn't understand it then either. I remember some of my friends getting CASH for good grades and wondering "wth is wrong with your parents?"

i dunno, maybe it's just me - i also don't congratulate people when they announce they're pregnant. "YAY you had successful unprotected sex!" Certainly I'm happy for them, but I just think we congratulate way too many people on things that are NOT actual accomplishments!!

(for the record - yes, i attending youngest's kindy graduation, and was happy about it and took a ton of vidoes of all the cute songs etc that the class did for the program - I don't take issue with ceremony, just with the degree of celebration and overuse of congratulations and pride! I will readily admit I'm not "burting with pride" that my little guy finished kindergarten - of COURSE he finished - that's why we sent him in the first place!)

ok - off my soap box - start your flamethrowers! LOL!!
I'll think of you every time and laugh!

I think I agree with you on this, for the most part. I was proud of my girls when they graduated, bragged on their grades, but a simple party was sufficient, a few balloons on the mailbox was all the expense I would go to. A cruise? Are you kidding me? The exception might be someone whose kid struggled mightily for some reason, say they are dyslexic or have developmental delays. When that kid graduates you go all out. Still no cruise, but it's a bigger deal for that kid. Kindergarten and 6th grade graduations kill me, parents hiring limos and such for little kids is ridiculous. Yes, I went to those for mine as well but again, there were balloons. No cruises.
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Joined: May 25th, 2006, 10:01 pm

June 18th, 2012, 4:54 pm #4

this time of year always makes me angry. all the CONGRATs GRAD stuff for high school (and lower). and folks posting on FB their unending pride that their kid graduated High School - or brought home straight A's.

I don't celebrate when my kids bring home good grades. i EXPECT my kids to bring home good grades. of course I'm extremely pleased that my DD has a 96 average. She works for it and isn't doing it for ME, she does it bc she loves learning. I'm actually disappointed that my DS has a 92 average, because he's only exerting 20% effort to do so (just like his mama did!).

I EXPECT my kids to manage to finish High School and graduate. to me it's not some huge accomplishment that deserves a ton of accolades and endless over the top reward. (a cruise? really?? for not dropping out of High school?) Yes I'll have a party because it's a rite of passage, but geesh - you'd think some of these kids found the cure for cancer or invented a perpetual motion device!!

It was like this when I finished high school in 88, and i didn't understand it then either. I remember some of my friends getting CASH for good grades and wondering "wth is wrong with your parents?"

i dunno, maybe it's just me - i also don't congratulate people when they announce they're pregnant. "YAY you had successful unprotected sex!" Certainly I'm happy for them, but I just think we congratulate way too many people on things that are NOT actual accomplishments!!

(for the record - yes, i attending youngest's kindy graduation, and was happy about it and took a ton of vidoes of all the cute songs etc that the class did for the program - I don't take issue with ceremony, just with the degree of celebration and overuse of congratulations and pride! I will readily admit I'm not "burting with pride" that my little guy finished kindergarten - of COURSE he finished - that's why we sent him in the first place!)

ok - off my soap box - start your flamethrowers! LOL!!
Well, 99%. For some people, getting pregnant is a really big deal, especially if they have not been able to for some time. However, I do see your point in "congratulating" them.

I do totally, totally agree with the high school graduation thing, though. When my 17 yo daughter graduated a year early, we really were proud of her for that. We hosted her boyfriend's party for him at the same time, because his dad had just died and we knew he wouldn't have a party otherwise. His mom got him a cake that said, "You Did It!" What? Were they surprised?

When our adopted daughter graduated, however, it really WAS a big deal. She really was the first one in her family to graduate high school. She went on to graduate college, too. We congratulated her on both accomplishments, because she went over and above what anyone before had done. (We took her in the day she turned 18, which was before the start of her senior year.)

Anyway, family culture is a huge part of it, but I'm like you--it's a rite of passage, yes, but my kids are EXPECTED to do this. We celebrate the milestone reached, not the feat itself.

Blessings,

Bethann
Matthew 6:33
http://gettingtheresimply.blogspot.com/

"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." --Will Rogers
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Joined: June 25th, 2005, 4:29 pm

June 18th, 2012, 5:41 pm #5

this time of year always makes me angry. all the CONGRATs GRAD stuff for high school (and lower). and folks posting on FB their unending pride that their kid graduated High School - or brought home straight A's.

I don't celebrate when my kids bring home good grades. i EXPECT my kids to bring home good grades. of course I'm extremely pleased that my DD has a 96 average. She works for it and isn't doing it for ME, she does it bc she loves learning. I'm actually disappointed that my DS has a 92 average, because he's only exerting 20% effort to do so (just like his mama did!).

I EXPECT my kids to manage to finish High School and graduate. to me it's not some huge accomplishment that deserves a ton of accolades and endless over the top reward. (a cruise? really?? for not dropping out of High school?) Yes I'll have a party because it's a rite of passage, but geesh - you'd think some of these kids found the cure for cancer or invented a perpetual motion device!!

It was like this when I finished high school in 88, and i didn't understand it then either. I remember some of my friends getting CASH for good grades and wondering "wth is wrong with your parents?"

i dunno, maybe it's just me - i also don't congratulate people when they announce they're pregnant. "YAY you had successful unprotected sex!" Certainly I'm happy for them, but I just think we congratulate way too many people on things that are NOT actual accomplishments!!

(for the record - yes, i attending youngest's kindy graduation, and was happy about it and took a ton of vidoes of all the cute songs etc that the class did for the program - I don't take issue with ceremony, just with the degree of celebration and overuse of congratulations and pride! I will readily admit I'm not "burting with pride" that my little guy finished kindergarten - of COURSE he finished - that's why we sent him in the first place!)

ok - off my soap box - start your flamethrowers! LOL!!
I have never nor will I ever pay for grades. I tell my kids that their intelligence is a gift that they should share with others. They are always expected to do their best at whatever they are trying.

My son graduates from 5th grade tomorrow night. I imagine it will be a nice program and we might go out for ice cream something. It is bittersweet because my boy is leaving Elementary school.

On Saturday we attended a nice graduation party for a family member. It was fun for all but not over the top. My kids will each get a nice party but as for huge gifts, cruises etc - NO WAY!
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Joined: June 5th, 2006, 5:33 pm

June 18th, 2012, 6:23 pm #6

this time of year always makes me angry. all the CONGRATs GRAD stuff for high school (and lower). and folks posting on FB their unending pride that their kid graduated High School - or brought home straight A's.

I don't celebrate when my kids bring home good grades. i EXPECT my kids to bring home good grades. of course I'm extremely pleased that my DD has a 96 average. She works for it and isn't doing it for ME, she does it bc she loves learning. I'm actually disappointed that my DS has a 92 average, because he's only exerting 20% effort to do so (just like his mama did!).

I EXPECT my kids to manage to finish High School and graduate. to me it's not some huge accomplishment that deserves a ton of accolades and endless over the top reward. (a cruise? really?? for not dropping out of High school?) Yes I'll have a party because it's a rite of passage, but geesh - you'd think some of these kids found the cure for cancer or invented a perpetual motion device!!

It was like this when I finished high school in 88, and i didn't understand it then either. I remember some of my friends getting CASH for good grades and wondering "wth is wrong with your parents?"

i dunno, maybe it's just me - i also don't congratulate people when they announce they're pregnant. "YAY you had successful unprotected sex!" Certainly I'm happy for them, but I just think we congratulate way too many people on things that are NOT actual accomplishments!!

(for the record - yes, i attending youngest's kindy graduation, and was happy about it and took a ton of vidoes of all the cute songs etc that the class did for the program - I don't take issue with ceremony, just with the degree of celebration and overuse of congratulations and pride! I will readily admit I'm not "burting with pride" that my little guy finished kindergarten - of COURSE he finished - that's why we sent him in the first place!)

ok - off my soap box - start your flamethrowers! LOL!!
I agree for the most part. I have NEVER understood the kindergarten, 5th grade and 8th grade graduations. If we had had a cake for dd#1 that said You did it! it really would have been because we were surprised - and we homeschooled her! Still, I had my doubts it would ever happen. I wish I could say I was proud of her, but mainly I was relieved, and I also knew she never would have been able to finish if it had been public school.

I'm sure I bragged on dd#2. She did really well in both high school and college, and being borderline dyslexic did make it difficult for her to keep up with the reading, or finish tests on time. I never even thought about anyone being ticked off about the bragging. Guess I'll have to watch it from now on.

I never knew anyone gave their kid a cruise or any gifts for graduation. Good things my kids never heard about that before they graduated.

------
The road to success is always under construction.
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Joined: May 21st, 2006, 5:50 pm

June 18th, 2012, 6:34 pm #7

this time of year always makes me angry. all the CONGRATs GRAD stuff for high school (and lower). and folks posting on FB their unending pride that their kid graduated High School - or brought home straight A's.

I don't celebrate when my kids bring home good grades. i EXPECT my kids to bring home good grades. of course I'm extremely pleased that my DD has a 96 average. She works for it and isn't doing it for ME, she does it bc she loves learning. I'm actually disappointed that my DS has a 92 average, because he's only exerting 20% effort to do so (just like his mama did!).

I EXPECT my kids to manage to finish High School and graduate. to me it's not some huge accomplishment that deserves a ton of accolades and endless over the top reward. (a cruise? really?? for not dropping out of High school?) Yes I'll have a party because it's a rite of passage, but geesh - you'd think some of these kids found the cure for cancer or invented a perpetual motion device!!

It was like this when I finished high school in 88, and i didn't understand it then either. I remember some of my friends getting CASH for good grades and wondering "wth is wrong with your parents?"

i dunno, maybe it's just me - i also don't congratulate people when they announce they're pregnant. "YAY you had successful unprotected sex!" Certainly I'm happy for them, but I just think we congratulate way too many people on things that are NOT actual accomplishments!!

(for the record - yes, i attending youngest's kindy graduation, and was happy about it and took a ton of vidoes of all the cute songs etc that the class did for the program - I don't take issue with ceremony, just with the degree of celebration and overuse of congratulations and pride! I will readily admit I'm not "burting with pride" that my little guy finished kindergarten - of COURSE he finished - that's why we sent him in the first place!)

ok - off my soap box - start your flamethrowers! LOL!!
if the height of your accomplishments is that you managed to graduate grade 8 to highschool? or from highschool? then how low are your expectations in life.
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Joined: May 24th, 2006, 7:44 pm

June 18th, 2012, 7:13 pm #8

this time of year always makes me angry. all the CONGRATs GRAD stuff for high school (and lower). and folks posting on FB their unending pride that their kid graduated High School - or brought home straight A's.

I don't celebrate when my kids bring home good grades. i EXPECT my kids to bring home good grades. of course I'm extremely pleased that my DD has a 96 average. She works for it and isn't doing it for ME, she does it bc she loves learning. I'm actually disappointed that my DS has a 92 average, because he's only exerting 20% effort to do so (just like his mama did!).

I EXPECT my kids to manage to finish High School and graduate. to me it's not some huge accomplishment that deserves a ton of accolades and endless over the top reward. (a cruise? really?? for not dropping out of High school?) Yes I'll have a party because it's a rite of passage, but geesh - you'd think some of these kids found the cure for cancer or invented a perpetual motion device!!

It was like this when I finished high school in 88, and i didn't understand it then either. I remember some of my friends getting CASH for good grades and wondering "wth is wrong with your parents?"

i dunno, maybe it's just me - i also don't congratulate people when they announce they're pregnant. "YAY you had successful unprotected sex!" Certainly I'm happy for them, but I just think we congratulate way too many people on things that are NOT actual accomplishments!!

(for the record - yes, i attending youngest's kindy graduation, and was happy about it and took a ton of vidoes of all the cute songs etc that the class did for the program - I don't take issue with ceremony, just with the degree of celebration and overuse of congratulations and pride! I will readily admit I'm not "burting with pride" that my little guy finished kindergarten - of COURSE he finished - that's why we sent him in the first place!)

ok - off my soap box - start your flamethrowers! LOL!!
but I have one of those developmentally delayed children. She struggled to simply stay afloat all through school and I didn't see them cutting her much of a break anywhere--she was expected to fulfill all of the graduation requirements for senior projects etc that everyone else was. (A lot of that turned out to be done with a lot of help from Mom the last year, which I am very against, but what are you going to do?)

Anyway, she won't be graduating from college, marriage isn't impossible but so far seems improbable, and babies are a physical impossibility. SO....graduating from high school WAS the big deal celebration and we gave her a big party. That is the norm around here, so it didn't stand out, but neither DH or I would have been so inclined to make it a very big deal under other circumstances. No big present, and certainly no cruises, but a joyful celebration that we were happy to be able to give her.
Panda/wa
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Joined: June 5th, 2006, 5:33 pm

June 18th, 2012, 8:14 pm #9

Don't get me started on public school. It was when dd was in 6th grade and none of the teachers were doing any of the things they were supposed to do for her, AND putting her at the very back of the class "because she wasn't disruptive" that I decided that I could do better. We had already been spending every evening teaching her because the only thing she learned all day was who was passing notes in front of her.

Don't give up hope on marriage though. I had written it off for dd, and actually worried about the kind of guy who would be interested in her, and lo and behold she met a guy. We haven't met him yet, but from the little I can find out about him, he seems normal and well liked at work. Dd has finally given up her obsession with her teen band and if nothing else, I'm grateful for that.

------
The road to success is always under construction.
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Joined: May 30th, 2006, 2:01 pm

June 18th, 2012, 8:46 pm #10

this time of year always makes me angry. all the CONGRATs GRAD stuff for high school (and lower). and folks posting on FB their unending pride that their kid graduated High School - or brought home straight A's.

I don't celebrate when my kids bring home good grades. i EXPECT my kids to bring home good grades. of course I'm extremely pleased that my DD has a 96 average. She works for it and isn't doing it for ME, she does it bc she loves learning. I'm actually disappointed that my DS has a 92 average, because he's only exerting 20% effort to do so (just like his mama did!).

I EXPECT my kids to manage to finish High School and graduate. to me it's not some huge accomplishment that deserves a ton of accolades and endless over the top reward. (a cruise? really?? for not dropping out of High school?) Yes I'll have a party because it's a rite of passage, but geesh - you'd think some of these kids found the cure for cancer or invented a perpetual motion device!!

It was like this when I finished high school in 88, and i didn't understand it then either. I remember some of my friends getting CASH for good grades and wondering "wth is wrong with your parents?"

i dunno, maybe it's just me - i also don't congratulate people when they announce they're pregnant. "YAY you had successful unprotected sex!" Certainly I'm happy for them, but I just think we congratulate way too many people on things that are NOT actual accomplishments!!

(for the record - yes, i attending youngest's kindy graduation, and was happy about it and took a ton of vidoes of all the cute songs etc that the class did for the program - I don't take issue with ceremony, just with the degree of celebration and overuse of congratulations and pride! I will readily admit I'm not "burting with pride" that my little guy finished kindergarten - of COURSE he finished - that's why we sent him in the first place!)

ok - off my soap box - start your flamethrowers! LOL!!
...as long as I get to go! LOL! Seriously, high school graduation and retirement are at about the same time for us, so maybe we'll go on a big celebratory, blowout vacation. Chances are, however,we'll keep working to put them through college. The norm for everyone we know has been a backyard BBQ party. I guess we'll get to participate in all the graduations coming up starting with Kindergarten.

Sounds goofy to me and contrary to everything coming out now these days about kids. The "new" thing is not to necessarily praise the accomplishment, but the effort that went into it. It actually makes sense to me.
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