Obama Accepts Putin’s Invitation To Drinking Contest For Control of Ukraine
PARIS, France — The
world diplomatic community was stunned today when U.S. President Barack
Obama accepted Russian President Vladimir Putin’s challenge to a
drinking contest.
The stakes: control of Ukraine, which Russian troops invaded several months ago.
The Paris talks between the U.S. and Russia have been ongoing since
the invasion but have often been strained to the point of open
hostility. But none of the assembled diplomats and journalists could
have predicted a drinking contest between the two most powerful men in
the world.
As aides cleared most of the room, leaving few reporters and neutral
diplomats as witnesses, many bottles of alcohol were brought in. The two
men exchanged awkward pleasantries and then began to drink. President
Putin graciously allowed Mr. Obama to drink whatever alcohol he wanted,
declaring that he, Putin, would restrict himself to only straight vodka.
Conversation during the contest was strictly off the record but
included topics such as soccer, windsurfing, proper execution of false
flag operations and both leaders’ deep love for the Russian synth-pop
band t.A.T.u.
Four hours later, a half-naked, sweaty and pale-looking Obama was
rolled out on a stretcher, his chair surrounded by empty Zima bottles.
The president was vomiting every 30 seconds or so into a hotel ice
bucket as his detail wheeled him to the waiting Marine One transport
helicopter.
For his part, Putin walked out of the room on his own power, still
fully dressed in suit and tie, leaving empty vodka bottles in neat rows
beside his chair. Putin announced he was a little peckish, and devoured a
rack of yak ribs before going on a 10-mile jog and house-training a
wild ocelot.
What the contest’s outcome will mean to Ukraine and the Balkan region
in general is not clear at this time. Russian diplomats refused to
comment on the contest, but the U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine said he was “deeply concerned.“
PARIS, France — The
world diplomatic community was stunned today when U.S. President Barack
Obama accepted Russian President Vladimir Putin’s challenge to a
drinking contest.
The stakes: control of Ukraine, which Russian troops invaded several months ago.
The Paris talks between the U.S. and Russia have been ongoing since
the invasion but have often been strained to the point of open
hostility. But none of the assembled diplomats and journalists could
have predicted a drinking contest between the two most powerful men in
the world.
As aides cleared most of the room, leaving few reporters and neutral
diplomats as witnesses, many bottles of alcohol were brought in. The two
men exchanged awkward pleasantries and then began to drink. President
Putin graciously allowed Mr. Obama to drink whatever alcohol he wanted,
declaring that he, Putin, would restrict himself to only straight vodka.
Conversation during the contest was strictly off the record but
included topics such as soccer, windsurfing, proper execution of false
flag operations and both leaders’ deep love for the Russian synth-pop
band t.A.T.u.
Four hours later, a half-naked, sweaty and pale-looking Obama was
rolled out on a stretcher, his chair surrounded by empty Zima bottles.
The president was vomiting every 30 seconds or so into a hotel ice
bucket as his detail wheeled him to the waiting Marine One transport
helicopter.
For his part, Putin walked out of the room on his own power, still
fully dressed in suit and tie, leaving empty vodka bottles in neat rows
beside his chair. Putin announced he was a little peckish, and devoured a
rack of yak ribs before going on a 10-mile jog and house-training a
wild ocelot.
What the contest’s outcome will mean to Ukraine and the Balkan region
in general is not clear at this time. Russian diplomats refused to
comment on the contest, but the U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine said he was “deeply concerned.“
"Give Me A Fast Ship For I Intend To Go In Harm's Way"
During WWII no other Naval Unit eclipsed the record of the Little Beavers lead by Captain "31 Knot Arleigh Burke." There are Sailors and there are
DESTROYER SAILORS. Fast sleek they seek out the enemy to engage at point blank range.
"Neptune was God, Mahan his prophet, and the United States Navy the only true Church"
During WWII no other Naval Unit eclipsed the record of the Little Beavers lead by Captain "31 Knot Arleigh Burke." There are Sailors and there are
DESTROYER SAILORS. Fast sleek they seek out the enemy to engage at point blank range.
"Neptune was God, Mahan his prophet, and the United States Navy the only true Church"








