My first try at TR fanfic

Tomb Raider
Joined: August 23rd, 2008, 10:17 pm

May 11th, 2009, 4:47 pm #1

Tell me what ya think, please be honest. Should I keep writing, or did I fail?

Part 1:

A dark figure slowly and stealthily finds it way over the manors gate, nearly catching it's self on the iron spikes fixed atop the proud enclosure. Padding it's way barefoot across the estate grounds up to the kitchen door, where a soft glow from the dimmed lights is casted through the window besides it.

"May I retire for the night miss?" asked and old worn voice.

The dark figure freezes right at the edge of the windows dim glow.

"You know you don't have to ask me this Winston, but if you must have my approval; you may retire."

"Good night miss Croft," the old voice echoed from the hallways.

The mysterious figure swiftly - but carefully lowers it's self to a belly crawl and makes it's way to a small, vine covered decorative ladder leading up to second floor window.

"How convenient" a woman's voice purred.

Sliding through the window and entering one of the manors spare rooms, the finds her way to the Kitchen. Standing at the edge of the door way, the dark slender shaped figure unsheathes a dagger and slowly tip toes up to where Lara is seated. Raising the dagger and aiming for her heart, she lunges... Lara senses her pressense and at the last second she shoves the chair into the unsuspecting figure. Lara grabs a long knife out of one of the kitchen drawer, and faces the unknown person who's dressed in a black stealth suit, reveling only the intruders frightened green eyes.

Lara stares down her opponent, raises her blade and takes one guarded step forward.

"Either drop your blade or die where you stand, it's you choice - use it wisely."

The intruder is puzzled by Croft's overly confident smile. Chink chink, sounds a shot gun being cocked followed by the softer higher noise of the intruders blade hitting the floor.

"Thank-you Winston," Lara says in a thankful but tired tone.

"Anytime miss. Though, I don't think I would of been any help, it's not loaded..."

The intruder, still analyzing every possible move she could make at this point glares at the old butler and then looks at the dagger on the floor.

"Don't even think about it," Lara tells her harshly.

The woman doesn't listen and makes a lung for the knife. SHINK! Lara's blade meets her dagger and the intruder throws a kick to Lara's stomach sending her flying back but not knocking her down. Lara runs back towards her as though she hadn't felt a thing and their blades meet yet again - this time resulting in a make-shift sword fight. Lara gains ground forcing her opponent to back up against the wall and manages to knock the dagger from the woman's hands, she pins her against the wall.

"Winston, go find some rope and fetch my pistols! You have a lot of explaining to do, who ever you are."

"Let me go!" the woman yells.

"Tut tut tut," Lara clicks. "I don't think so, now be quiet or I'll make you pay for ruining my dinner."

Winston walks back in with some rope and Lara's pistols in holsters. Lara, still holding the knife to the woman's throat, takes one of the pistols out of it's holster and points it at the girl.

"Should I call the police miss?"

"No, not yet. Tie her up best you can - in the chair preferably."

After Winston tied her up, he removed the top head piece of her assemble, reveling an innocent ginger haired woman, with a fearful glare.
The promises, hollow concessions
And innocent show of affection
I touch your hand, a hologram. Are you still there?


Tomb Raider
Joined: August 24th, 2008, 10:29 pm

May 11th, 2009, 11:20 pm #2


just kidding :lol: :biggrin:

it's great! keep writing. i love me a good fanfic

"I'm not mad at all. I'm just differently sane." -- ThE JoKeR

Joined: December 14th, 2008, 11:09 pm

May 12th, 2009, 2:48 am #3

Yes Tessa, you should keep writing. Nice work.

Tomb Raider
Joined: August 28th, 2008, 3:04 am

May 12th, 2009, 12:39 pm #4

Wow Tessa. Pretty interesting. Keep it going!

Speak softly and carry a big jo. - O'Leary-Liu