Is Farting in a church of Christ building wrong?

Is Farting in a church of Christ building wrong?

Anonymous
Anonymous

December 12th, 2012, 1:51 am #1

Would it be considered instrumental music since it sounds like a horn?

Would it be considered incense or a sweet smelling aroma?

Because there is no approved example, direct command, or necessary inference that Paul ever farted in an assembly, would that make it wrong?

I believe that the Bible authorizes farting.

Ken...what is your feelings on this topic?
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Joined: July 29th, 2010, 2:32 pm

December 13th, 2012, 9:15 pm #2

If you follow the ATCHLEY etal patternism of using the Israelites and eat the sacrifices made to Baal-Peor (dung smeared on his face) then I would say that you are probably commanded to have a Bean Eating Minister spend the week making certain that everyone has been filled and rehearsed: at 82 I would want to use a plug. As a matter of fact, it would sound better to me than to have to watch and listen to limpy praise singers and women wafting menstrual odors in the holy places--and maybe magic juice in your communion based on the old Agape Women.

However, if you are a Christian (a Christian is a disciple [only] of Christ [only]) you MUST remember a few things.

Around the Agora where Jesus consigned the pipers, singers and instrument players, the same official who regulated prices of the Flute-Players (always the way to find the prostitutes) also regulated the DUNG HEAP.

Christ in Isaiah said that God would wash the dung out of Jerusalem which was the SAME PLACE where the Jacob-cursed and God abandoned Levites made SOOTHSAYING noise.

When the flute players (always women claiming power against dead spirits) wanted to ASSIST Jesus with the dead girl, he CAST THEM OUT using a word meaning "more or less violently" or as one "EJECTS DUNG." My studied expert opinion is that Jesus would not want you to organize a Fluting-Farting-Foolish-Fella worship team when He comes to give us REST (from) and be our ONLY Teacher when the elders as the pastor teachers stand up to PREACH the Word by READING the Word.

You might want to take a break (like when the Catholic organist played) to go outside during an intermission. I doubt that you could make that work unless ACU sets up a Doctorate in Exuding Laughing gas.

I hope that helps: if not, there are others of the ALLEXPERT group which might give you more information.
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