Group Therapy

Julius Quasar
CDF General
CDF General
Joined: 4:39 AM - Apr 09, 2009

5:17 PM - Jan 25, 2013 #1

The Star Fox Team waited in the lobby of the therapist's office. "I don't see WHY I have to be here." Lola sniffed miserably. It was a dark, cold, rainy day outside. "We are going to group therapy, all of us. I've had it with the dysfunctional attitudes, the bickering, and general discord on this team!" Fox said. Akasha stretched her back, and sat on the arm of the couch, as she leaned against Kylie and purred.

Pal was wearing a dress, makeup, and high heeled shoes. Fay was thumbing through a medical journal, and snorting with scorn over the articles in it, which she found to be inaccurate. Fara put her feet up on the coffee table. "Feet off of the table, Fara." Tigress told her. "...'Feet off of the table, Fara!' Neh, Neh, Neh..." Fara said, imitating Tigress' voice. "SHUT UP!" Tigress growled at Fara. All of them sat in chairs, next to Misty and Silas.

Madame Vulpine sighed and stared into space. Conrad was doing a crossword puzzle from the newspaper. The two of them shared a loveseat. Todd was drawing mustaches and glasses on the super models of the magazines. Krystal snatched the magazines from Todd. "Stop that..." she whispered at Todd.

Misty was blowing bubble gum and popping it, as she sat in one of the chairs. Silas was sitting in a chair next to her, as he was playing with a handheld puzzle toy. Babs was making her own ears flap gently, as she lay her head back into Edge's lap. Edge was half asleep, bored out of his mind and angry at having to attend group therapy. Katt and Falco were playing the "Hands Slap" game. Miyu was listening via earphones, to her personal music player and laying on her back, her legs draped over the arm of one of the couches, as she lay next to Edge, Babs, Kylie, and Akasha.

Slippy stood staring out the window at the rain, the top of his head and his eyes and nose just barely clearing the windowsill...if one were to look from outside the window, it would look like Slippy was posing for the Beatles' "Hard Day's Night" album cover, with only the top half of his face visible.

Fox sat with Krystal, Todd, and Lola on one of the couches. He really wished he didn't have to drag the team here, but what choice did they really have?

Dr. Feudenheimer, an old teutonic owl with thick eyeglasses opened the door to his office, and called them inside. "When they settled into his office, he greeted them. "And now, we will see what we can do about this whole situation, and hopefully you will all be much better real soon, yah?" said the therapist, in his heavy German accent.

*more to come*

Julius Quasar
CDF General
CDF General
Joined: 4:39 AM - Apr 09, 2009

5:12 AM - Jan 27, 2013 #2

The Star Fox Team sat in the doctor's office. He had to use lightweight plastic chairs for the remaining members of the team, since not everyone could fit on the couch in there. In fact, there were enough chairs for almost everyone, though Tigress sat on the sofa, and got up to stand when someone else needed the couch. The doctor reserved the couch for the patient or patients whom he was immediately addressing in the therapy session.

"I'm here as an 'orderly', to keep the peace." Tigress explained to the doctor. "Ah! Das is gut!" the doctor said, nodding. As the team sat down, the doctor laid down the ground rules...."Now, this is a therapy session! Each of you will take turns on the couch, and you will answer my questions. This is a 'safe zone', which means you may speak your mind without fear of retribution, judgment, or interruptions, from anyone. Everyone will get their turn. Understood?" asked the doctor. "YES." came the unanimous reply from the Star Fox Team. "Good! Now, Todd, let's start with you!" Todd lay on the couch.

Dr. Freudenheimer sat on the armchair near the head of the couch as Todd lay down on it. "Todd, tell me...about your past drinking problem." said Dr. Freudenheimer. "Why dig up the past?" Todd replied. "Because we must find the root of your current problem. Your cousin Fox has told me that he suspects you are sneaking alcohol yet again. That's a very slippery slope, Todd." said the doctor.

"Okay, fine, I do sneak some powerful alcohol on occasion. Things have just been.....a little tense around here lately." Todd complained. "I see, can you please elaborate?" asked the doctor. Todd explained what he meant...

*From Todd's point of view, as McCloud Ranch is being seen in a crudely drawn Russian-style cartoon, depicting Todd's point of view. Todd is seen in the living room, on the couch watching TV, with his feet on the coffee table*

Todd's voice: "Lately things have been tough, and we can't find any big jobs for the team lately. Fox and Krystal have been bossing us all around, especially Fox, over the most asinine, little things.

*A distorted Fox and Krystal are seen walking and arguing through the door.*

Fox: "Todd! Feet off of the table!"
Krystal: "Todd, stop slouching!"

*A beautiful looking Tex Avery cartoon styled Lola walks into the room*

Lola: *pretends to play a royal fanfare on a trumpet* "Announcing, the arrival of The King and Queen of 'Don't'!"

Krystal: "Shut up Lola!" *is seen jumping up and down in a crudely animated fashion*
Lola: "YOU shut up!"

*Falco and Katt walk into the room, also crudely rendered like a Russian cartoon*

Falco: "Is not!"
Katt: "Is too!"
*this goes back and forth between them for a while*

Todd: "I'm trying to watch TV you two, SHUT UP and fight somewhere else."
Falco: *sarcastically* "Oh yes, how SELFISH of us to distract you while you're doing NOTHING!"
Katt: "Let's keep it up!"
*they hit Todd with couch pillows*

Lola: "Get off of him you imbeciles!"
*Falco and Katt attack Lola with the couch pillows, as Todd hits them with a couch cushion*

Fox: "Stop this right now! Break it up!" *flicks lights on and off*
Krystal: "Stop it, all of you!" *hits Lola, Katt, Todd, and Falco with her staff*

Fox: "Tigress!"

*All the furniture in the room bounces up and down as giant footsteps are heard. Tigress' feet (still crudely rendered in Todd's mind) stomp into the living room*

Tigress: *in a booming voice* "Break it up!" *roars like King Kong*

Lola: "Mind your own business!"

*Tigress scoops up Lola, and carries her off screaming. Tigress takes Lola outside and climbs up onto the control tower of McCloud Ranch with Lola in her hand, a' la King Kong, as crudely rendered Arwings fly around the top of the tower. Tigress sets Lola down and swats at the Arwings, making one of them crash. The other Arwings shoot at her. Tigress swats another Arwing down, and she is shot by the remaining Arwings, and falls off of the tower to the ground. Tigress then gets up, dusts herself off, and stomps away*

Todd flies his Arwing and picks Lola up safely and brings her down to the ground.

*now back in the therapists office*

"Okay, zat is quite enough, Todd!" said the therapist, as Fox, Krystal, Katt, Falco, and Tigress grumbled, and Lola giggled.

"Now, who to interview next?" Dr. Freudenheimer said, as Todd gave up the couch, and took his seat.

*more to come*

Julius Quasar
CDF General
CDF General
Joined: 4:39 AM - Apr 09, 2009

1:42 AM - Jan 28, 2013 #3

Akasha took her place on the therapist's couch. "Now, little Akasha, ve shall see vat is troubling you..." said Dr. Freudenheimer. " Todd said, things have been tense at home, and the general state of the economy isn't well, which has cost us many jobs...but in general, the world always seems so scary to me...." Akasha said.

*Picture things in Gothic animation, a la' Edward Gorey*

A little Akasha cat is in a dark village, at the edge of the woods...she walks up to a small crowd of anthro animal children, as they watch a puppet show theater. Fox and Krystal are depicted as "Punch and Judy", with Krystal as Judy, hitting Fox with her staff. The children cheer, but Akasha looks frightened. The curtains close on the puppet theater, and the kids leave.

The village grows dark, as the sun sets behind the woods.

Akasha worriedly tried to find her way home. A ghastly liquor cloud fog surrounds her as she makes her way through the woods. Todd appears, as a drunken, wraith-ghost-like creature, with a flask in his hand, from which he is periodically drinking.

Todd: "Akasha! Akasha! I'm gonna get you! MUUUAAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA!"

Akasha flees in terror, and hides in a hollow tree stump from Todd, who moves on. She then makes her way through the dark woods. She comes upon a lonely gypsy wagon, and enters it, to find Madame Vulpine, in a tiny form, standing inside a crystal ball on a stand.

Madame Vulpine: "What do you seek?"
Akasha: "I wanna go home!"
Madame Vulpine: "Home is only as hard to find as you make it..."
Akasha: "Can you help me?"
Madame Vulpine: "The best help you can receive is from yourself!"

Conrad flies into the wagon, in the form of an Eagle, then he transforms into his anthro-eagle self. He picks up the crystal ball containing Madame Vulpine and smashes it on the stand, releasing Madame Vulpine.

Conrad: *to Madame Vulpine* "Ready to go?"
Madame Vulpine: "Yes, just allow me to help Akasha."

Madmae Vulpine hands Akasha a small, engraved block of wood, with a tiny walled/gated village carved into it.

Madame V.: *to Akasha* "This village is your next stop, just North of here. Good luck!"

*with that, the wagon, Conrad, and Madame Vulpine vanish, and a path lights up in the forest, leading Akasha northwards*

Akasha: "Well, that was helpful enough."

Akasha heads up the path. She stops to find what looks like a clearing full of poppies, with magazines for petals. She runs up to them, and places the wooden block aside where she can find it again, and begins to chew up the poppies/ opiate style euphoric stupor and hallucinogenic world appears around her, it appears to be a sunny day, atop a beautiful, flower covered hill top, next to a lovely blue seaside.

She keeps chewing the magazines. Hours seem to pass. Suddenly, she sees Kylie's worried face appearing in the sky, and she hears his frantic cries of "Akasha! Akasha! Where are you!?" Akasha mentally came back to the magazine filled clearing, put down the magazines, having chewed up dozens of them in all this time, picks up the wooden block, and she heads to the gated village, where she enters through the open gates. She comes upon a closed sweet shop and taps on the door. It swings open, and Babs' whole face fills the door.

Babs: *snort* "What?"
Akasha: "Can you help me find the way home?"
Babs: *snort* "No, but Edge might be able to help. Edge!"
*giant footsteps are heard, and a giant Edge climbs over the village rooftops*
Edge: "Yeah?"
Babs: "This little kitty needs to find her way home."
Edge: "Uh....I dunno where that is?"
Babs: "Me neither."
Edge: "I'll go find Tigress, maybe she can help."

*Edge walks off to find Tigress, and Babs pokes her bead and face back inside the door and closes it.*

A nearby clock tower chimes, and Falco, as a wooden cuckoo bird, slides out of a tiny door*

Falco: "Cuckoo!" *clock bell chimes* "Cuckoo!" *clock bell chimes* "Cuckoo!" *clock bell chimes* "Cuckoo!" *clock bell chimes* "Cuckoo!" *clock bell chimes* "Cuckoo!" *clock bell chimes* "Cuckoo!" *clock bell chimes* "Cuckoo!" *clock bell chimes* "Cuckoo!" *clock bell chimes* "Cuckoo!" *clock bell chimes* "Cuckoo!" *clock bell chimes* "Cuckoo!" *clock bell chimes*

*Falco slides back into the clock*

A nearby building lights up, a red lantern is hung outside an upstairs window, and the front doors open, and the red curtains behind it part to reveal Lola and Misty in fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes, and 19th Century Saloon-girl style clothes, as they are fluttering fans*

Lola: "Are you lost hon'?"
Akasha: "No, just waiting for Edge to get Tigress."
Misty: "Good luck with that."
*both girls laugh*

*Akasha takes off running through the village, and nearly gets stepped on by Edge*

Edsge: "Whoa! Careful there! Hey, I found Tigress, she's almost here!"
Akasha: "Thank you!"

*Tigress comes crashing through the woods, her head clearing the treetops*
Tigress: "Is that the kitty?"
Edge: "Yeah, she's trying to find her way home!"

*Tigress scoops Akasha up gently and places her on top of her head*

Tigress: "Kylie sent me out to find you, he's been looking everywhere for you! Hang on, I'll take you back home."
Akasha: "Thanks Tigress, and thank you Edge!"
Edge: "No problem!" *walks off*

*Tigress takes Akasha home, walking her through the thick woods and in a familiar direction towards Akasha's village, and to her home, a small cottage at the edge of town, where Kylie is running around, calling for Akasha*

Tigress: "I found her, Kylie!" *sets Akasha down*

Kylie: "Oh, thank goodness! Akasha's home! I'm so happy!" hugs Akasha* "Thank you so much, Tigress!"
Tigress: "All in a days work!" *walks off*

Kylie: "Let's go inside Akasha!"
Akasha: "Yes, let's!"

*The two of them enter the warmth and light and safety of their cottage*

"Well now, Akasha, it seems you are frightened of the world, and have positive views of only a few people in your life!" said the doctor. "Tell me about it." Akasha replied. "And they thought I over exaggerate!" Todd grumbled.

"Right, now who's next?" asked the therapist.

Julius Quasar
CDF General
CDF General
Joined: 4:39 AM - Apr 09, 2009

8:22 PM - Jan 31, 2013 #4

Lola lay down on the couch, as the therapist said "Now, mein lovely, let's see vat is on your mind..."

Lola sighed, and began...

*Picture an ornate theater, and a large stage, with a fancy proscenium arch with a large curtain, which parts and reveals the stage. A lovely astral celestial universe sky with starts, planets, moons and galaxies serve as the backdrop*

*A scale replica of the Great Fox appears from one side of the stage, on tiny wheeled rollers underneath it. Lola is standing on its bridge, with Todd coming up behind her and massaging her shoulders*

Lola: *singing* "Has Star Fox hit a wall? How long has it been? It seems we haven't had an adventure in some time at aaaalllll!"
Todd: "I love you Lola! How I can ease your ennui?"
Lola: "Nothing you can do..."
Todd: "Are you sure?"
Lola: "Unless you can secretly wreak this galaxy!"
Todd: *chuckles*

*The music shifts to a dramatic tone*

*Fox appears on top of the Great Fox with Todd and Lola*
Fox: "All right you two, if you're really that bored! Nothing a little drill exercises can't cuuure!"

*Todd and Lola follow Fox below...the Great Fox rolls off to the other side of the stage. A group of miniature scale model Arwings fly around on hidden wires, as a flat panel monitor screen slides up from the top of the stage. Fox appears on the monitor*

Fox: "Fly in foooorrrmation!"
*Todd appears next on the monitor*
Todd: "Yeah, yeah..."
*Now Krystal appears*
Krystal: "Toooodd! Mind your manners!"
Lola: "Don't talk to him like that!"
*Falco appears*
Falco: "Play nicely, ladies!"
*Katt appears*
Katt: "Make way for Katt!"

*The Arwings fly away, the stage goes black, and Lola pulls up in a larger scale model Arwing* The canopy opens, and Lola stands up seductively in the cockpit.*

Lola: "I've done it all in life! Everything and mooooore! I have all I could want! Yet I still feel an the vastness of spaaace! Will I ever truly feel whole?"

*Todd appears in a similar sized Arwing, Flying upside down (his Arwing is on wires and he's safely secured in the cockpit) His Arwing is over Lola's now as he smiles at her and snaps a flash-camera*

Todd: *in a normal speaking voice* "Hi Lola! How you doing?"
Lola: *smiles* "I believe I have who has filled the void...and might I say, he's perfectly in plaaaace!"
*Lola sits down as the cockpit canopy closes, and she glides under Todd, as they exit off the the end of the stage, and as the other stage curtain, a vertical contoured curtain falls, ending the first act*

"Okay Lola, ve don't have time for ze remaining acts, but zat vas very intersting!" said Dr. Freudenheimer. "Bllleeeech!" Tigress whispered, as Miyu, Fay, and Fara giggled at Tigress comment. "Everyone's a critic!" Lola said, throwing a couch pillow at Tigress. "Why you..." Tigress growled at Lola. "Tigress, please? Not here." Krystal looked sweetly into her large friend's eyes. "Ok..." Tigress said to Krystal. She then glared at Lola, and said "Revenge is a dish best served cold, anyways..." she said, a mean toothy grin spreading across her face. Lola said nothing, strutted up to Todd and sat beside him, as they snuggled arm in arm. "Erm....ok, who is next?" asked the therapist.

*more to come*

Julius Quasar
CDF General
CDF General
Joined: 4:39 AM - Apr 09, 2009

8:23 PM - Jan 31, 2013 #5

Edge took a seat on the couch. "So, Feneris....vat is on your mind, regarding ze team?" asked the therapist.

"Well..." Edge said, annoyed at his real name being used, but he took pity on the shrink, for he did not know that. "It's a bit like this..."

*An old fashioned style 1920's cartoon depicts the universe, the Lylat System with smiling moons, planets, stars, and a comet. The Great Fox cruises along, with Fox at the helm. Fox is piloting the ship, and whistling a tune similar to Micky Mouse's on "Steamboat Willie".*

*Tigress comes up behind Fox and makes him go below the bridge to clean the deck. Fox gives Tigress a raspberry, and she tries to kick him, but misses and accidentally kicks herself in the butt as Fox flees. As Fox runs down the stairs he slips on a bar of soap and falls into the wash water bucket. Falco, perched on a post, laughs at Fox, who dumps the bucket of wash water onto him. Tigress spits chewing tobacco, and at one time it bounces off of the visor/window and back into her face*

*The ship comes to dock at Sauria, and Fox loads up an Earthwalker by stuffing it with Grub-Tub mushrooms, and then loads other creatures aboard. Krystal, carrying a suitcase, a violin, and tries to catch up, but misses as the Great Fox pulls away. However, Fox sees her and beams her aboard.*

*Edge is seen eating at the table, and Krystal's sheet music accidentally ends up in his sandwich Edge eats it, but then Fox and Krystal use his tail and have Edge open his mouth, so he plays "Turkey In The Straw" Fox and Krystal use the various pieces of equipment on the Great Fox, as well as Saurian creatures as instruments to play along with the song, plus they gently pull Katt's tail to make her sing along*

*Tigress hears the commotion, and takes Fox to the galley to peel potatoes. As Fox peels the potatoes, Falco laughs at Fox, and Fox throws a potato at Falco and knocks him down. Fox then laughs, and the scene ends*

"...and that's about it." said Edge. "What the hell was that about!?" asked Tigress, Krystal, Fox, Katt, and Falco at the same time. "Now now, he is entitled to his thoughts as much as the rest of you. So, who's next?" the therapist said.

*more to come*

Julius Quasar
CDF General
CDF General
Joined: 4:39 AM - Apr 09, 2009

8:24 PM - Jan 31, 2013 #6

Conrad got onto the couch, and spoke...

"Well....let me tell you a little story..." he began...

*Things turn into a 1970's "School House Rocks" style cartoon*

Conrad's voice begins to sing:

"Years ago there was Galactical drama! We fought aliens and endured a lot of trauma! Our friends were from Andromeda! Freedom was their mantra, so we sent them lots of money for guns! And spacecraft!

But then Congress stopped the Andromedan money flow! Just 'cause the Andromedans moved a teeny bit of blow! But then a hero came forth, Lt. Col Collie North, he and General Pepper found a way around the sissy congress!


Conrad now speaks:

"You see, North secretly sold weapons and space-ships to a brilliant up-and-coming scientist, who would forever be a grateful and valuable asset to the Lylat Federation! Then North gave the profits to the Andromedans! GENIUS!"

Conrad sings again:

"But then the sales were uncoveeerrrreeeed, by the press!"

Andromedans: "Awwww!"

Press Weasel (literally an anthro weasel): *looks over the top of the news paper* "Hee-hee!"

Conrad sings: "Pepper and North, began to stress! 'Cause what they did was technically high treason!"

Conrad speaks: "But it was totally justified!"

Conrad resumes singing: "North volunteered to take the blame! To save Pepper from prison rape shaaaame! The truth he did bury, with his hot secretary! Thanks to her shredder, he got off totally Scot Free!"

*A beautiful anthro red vixen is seen shredding the documents*


He's a hero! And a novelist! And he has his own show on VULPES NEEEEEEWWWWWS!"

*Pal walks up, dressed like a girl*
Pal: "Crap! That's the end!"

"Vat does this have to do mit anything!?" asked the shrink. "You wanted to know what's on my mind, that's what's on my mind!" Conrad said, getting up from the couch. "Ok, fair enough. Who is next?" asked the shrink.

*more to come*

Julius Quasar
CDF General
CDF General
Joined: 4:39 AM - Apr 09, 2009

7:48 AM - Feb 01, 2013 #7

Falco got on the couch, and the therapist said "Very good! Now Falco, can you please tell me vat is going on mit the team?". Falco sighed, and said "Well..."

*things transition to show a Wurlitzer Jukebox. Falco's fist hits it and a record starts to play*

"Sunday, Monday, Furry Days!
Tuesday Wednesday, Furry Days!
Thursday, Friday, Furry Days!
Saturday! What a day! Rockin' all week with you!

These days are ooooouuuurrrrs!
Oh Furry Days!
These Days are ooooouuuurrrrs!
Oh baby!

These Furry Days are yours and mine!
These Furry Days are yours and mine!

Goodbye grey sky, hello blue!
There's nothing to hold me, when I hold you!
It feels so right, it can't be wrong! Rockin' and rollin' all week long!

These days are ooooouuuurrrrs!
Oh Furry Days!
These Days are ooooouuuurrrrs!
Oh baby!"

*all the time this song plays, there are transitions into different scenes, with the Star Fox gang getting into all sorts of hijinks*

"Gonna cruise her, around the town, show everybody what I've found!
She's my steady, I'm her man! I'm gonna love her all I can!
Hello sunshine, goodbye rain!
She's wearin' my school ring on a chain!

These days are ooooouuuurrrrs!
Oh Furry Days!
These Days are ooooouuuurrrrs!
Oh baby!"

*a pipe organ and a saxophone play as the Star Fox Team members are introduced on the spinning/flipping records inside the jukebox. Falco is dressed like the Fonz and even gives a thumbs up*

"Sunday, Monday, Furry Days!
Tuesday Wednesday, Furry Days!
Thursday, Friday, Furry Days!
Saturday! What a day! Rockin' all week with you!

These days are ooooouuuurrrrs!
Oh Furry Days!
These Days are ooooouuuurrrrs!
Oh baby!

These Furry Days are yours and mine!
These Furry Days are yours and mine! Furry Days!"

*As the scene transitions, we see a diner called "Peppy's", and inside there Fox is dressed like Richie Cunningham, Edge like Ralph, Pal like Potsie, and Slippy like Chachi. Falco enters looking like Fonzie, Katt is with him and she looks like Pinkie Tuscadero.*

Announcer: "...'Furry Days' was filmed in front of a live studio audience."

Falco: "...'Eeeeeeyyyy!"
*Everyone*: "Hey Falco!"

*laugh track is heard*

*things come back to the therapist's office*

"...and it just feels like I'm stuck in that loop, ya' know!?" Falco said to the shrink.

"Ah, I see that zere iz much 'ennui' and 'malaise' amongst you all. You feel...'mitout purpose', yah?" said the shrink. The others nodded. The doctor scribbled notes in the ledger.

*more to come*

Julius Quasar
CDF General
CDF General
Joined: 4:39 AM - Apr 09, 2009

9:14 AM - Feb 02, 2013 #8

Slippy took his place upon the couch. "Here's what's going on..." he said.

*An 8-bit computer/video game world is seen*

Slippy: "You see, the team feels that our purpose, and our work, is drying up completely. We haven't had any wars in Lylat, General Pepper is doing his best, but he knows there isn't much."

*the team is seen moving in 8-bit awkward animation around McCloud Ranch, and General Pepper's Office, where General Pepper just moves his arms up and down while sitting at his desk*

"Yes, Lola, Misty, and Madame Vulpine's performances are helpful, and Akasha, Tigress, Miyu, Silas, and I have found some good tech jobs temporarily to help pay for the team...but we definitely feel that we are in a rut. That's led to a lot of negaitvity and fighting around here."

*A stage is seen, a gold coin is deposited into the coin slot next to the stage, and the curtain rises, revealing Lola, Misty, and Madame Vulpine in showgirl outfits, dancing on the stage. When the performance ends, the girls stop and the curtain falls. Slippy is seen holding a wrench over his head a'la Link, then going over to a huge machine and tightening the bolts on it. Akasha and Silas are running around a computer lab, jumping in the air, collecting computer flash drives, and standing in front of a desk top computer at a table, and tossing the flash drives into the computer. Tigress is wielding a giant hammer and hitting the frame of a vessel with that hammer.*

"But it's just been seemingly futile. While some of us are trying to adapt, others have seemingly thrown in the towel..."

*Todd is seen at a tavern, catching the beer mugs being thrown at him by the bartender. Edge is seen just exercising. Pal is seen in drag, performing at a nightclub, only for a fake boob to slip out and land on the stage. Pal blushes, picks up and replaces the fake boob, and then runs through the streets, from the angry mob*

"Some of us have our own projects going on."

*Falco is seen racing in an F-Zero style race. Babs is seen in a "Dick Tracy" style video game. Conrad is in a "Contra" style video game.*

"It's just been really hard on Fox, he's trying to keep the team together, him and Krystal."

*Two spaceships are seen battling hostile aliens in outer space, but then it pans out to where Fox is seen with Krystal, it was just the both of them playing a video game*

"But it's just been hard. He never counted on this dry spell."

*Fay is working at a clinic, tossing pills and bandages to patients who are advancing on her. Fara is posing with Katt, both of them in skimpy outfits, on the wings of flying/racing vessels. Kylie is working a "Paperboy" type of job, except he's on a bike delivering pizza*

"It's just been the gets on our nerves."

*A "GAME OVER" message flashes on screen.*

Slippy got up, and the doctor finished scribbling in the notes. "Very good. Now, anyone else?" he said.

Julius Quasar
CDF General
CDF General
Joined: 4:39 AM - Apr 09, 2009

9:15 AM - Feb 02, 2013 #9

Babs took a seat on the couch.

"Well, here's my story..." she said...

*Fox and Krystal walk into the kitchen, and find it a horrible mess. Someone was trying to bake a cake, by the looks of it.*

Fox: "What the hell!?"
Krystal: "Who did this!?"

*transitioning to a Black-and-White "Film Noir" Dectective film*

Babs: *sitting in a Detective Agency Office, leaning back in a chair, her feet on the desk* "The angry words of the couple rang through the night like gunshots...What I enjoy hearing was the sound of greenbacks hitting my palm. But enough about what pleases the ears. After all, I'm not an Opera Critic, I'm a Private Eye."

*Babs is seen in her office, relaxing as the traditional "Film Noir" soundtrack plays. Fox and Krystal burst into Babs' office*

"I got a case, one night, from a couple who came through my door...I would've taken a better case than theirs, but since there weren't any available, I took their case. At least it meant another day I could keep the lights turned on, and food in the fridge."

*Transitioning back into reality, Fox and Krystal are pushing Babs towards the kitchen*

"The clients were persuasive, as were most of my clients..."

*Back in the Film Noir version of Babs' story. Babs is looking at the messed up kitchen*

"The couple's place had been ransacked...whoever did it was either a psychotic decorator, or someone in a hurry. The clients were hysterical."

*back in reality*

Fox: "Well!? What is the meaning of this, Babs!?"
Krystal: "What do you have to say for yourself!?"
Babs: "Don't touch anything, I'm looking for clues."

*A gun is seen trained on Babs as her back was turned*

Babs: "The charging sound of a laser pistol made me realize that the couple had set me up! They just needed a patsy to pin the crime on!"

*Babs tries to run for it, but Tigress show up in a police uniform and catches her*

Tigress: *in an Irish accent* "NOT so fast, flatfoot!" *collars Babs while holding a billy club*

*Babs is now seen in the back of a paddy wagon*

"I was busted by the powers that be...facing early judgment, without cashing out before my time..."

*Transition back into real life, Fox and Krystal hand Babs a bucket and a mop, and Tigress hands Babs additional cleaning supplies. Babs fills the bucket with soap and water, then gets to work cleaning up the kitchen as Tigress supervises her.*

*transition back into the Film Noir. Babs is seen walking out of the police station, through the dark city alleys, and back to her office*

Babs: "After things were cleared up, I headed back to my office. I was absolved, one way or another, but I had to figure out WHO really trashed the couple's place. I ran through the facts in my head, then it hit me! I had the answer! But because the couple weren't my clients anymore, I felt no need to divulge the information."

*transition into real life, where Edge is bringing Babs a chocolate cake and they are sharing it happily together back at Babs' place*

Babs: "Besides, the culprit happened to be a sweetheart of mine, and I closed the case."

Edge: "I guess I should've cleaned up afterwards, or at least baked the cake at Todd and Lola's, or here."

*Babs' story ends*

Babs got up, and the doctor said "Vell....interesting...". "Wait, EDGE made that mess in the kitchen!? Why didn't you tell us!?" said Fox. "What good would it have done!? I pieced it together as I was cleaning up, and by the time I was done, I realized it was him. But by then it didn't matter." Babs snapped at Fox.

"Okay, okay, now zat's enough....who vill go next?" said the therapist.

*more to come*

Julius Quasar
CDF General
CDF General
Joined: 4:39 AM - Apr 09, 2009

3:01 AM - Feb 05, 2013 #10

"It seems to me, zat you are all in a severe pattern of dysfunction, and malaise. You all need to work to come together, and try and find something in vitch all of you can share." said the shrink.

"Problem is, we like too many different things." Todd said. "..and some of us are no good at EVERYTHING!" Akasha said, looking towards Todd. "At least I don't chew up magazines!" Todd said. "You sleepwalk at night and pee on the TV set!" Akasha shot back.

"Everyone, everyone, you must stop the bickering! This is not healthy! seems to me that each of you should list an interest, and ve go around ze group, and see how much ve all have in common. Todd? You first!" the shrink declared.

Todd stood and spoke "Well...I, and shoot the guns okay...I, uh...can fight hand-to-hand...." as he thought of what to say, Lola teased him and interrupted him. "You can get drunk, fall down, and make dirty drunk phone calls to everyone you know too!" Lola giggled.

"HEY! I'm more useful than that!" Todd said. "Yeah, the guy who puts thumbtacks on the toilet seat is soooo indispensable." Krystal said. "You're the one who tricked me into thinking that the Cerinian word for 'bathroom' was my name in Cerinian!" Todd said to Krystal.

"You're the one who tricked me into thinking you sold my comic book collection to a friend of ours the day he moved to Planet Zoness!" Slippy snapped at Todd. "Well I'M the one who spit in little Akasha's cereal this morning! I mean...oops..." Todd said, realizing his mistake.

"I DRANK THAT MILK! I LICKED THE BOWL! I HATE YOU!!!" Akasha shrieked at Todd. "Oh shut up, runt!" Todd said to Akasha. "YOU SHUT UP!" Kylie shouted at Todd, taking a swing at him. They started fighting, and Krystal, Akasha, Lola, Misty, and Fox jumped in on the fight.

"Zis is NO VAY to get healthy! Shtop! Shtop this at vonce!" shouted the doctor, as Tigress tried to pick them up and pull them apart, Akasha was kicking and shrieking as she was clutched under Tigress' arm.


After Krystal, Todd, Akasha, Kylie, Lola, Misty, and Fox were pacified and separated from fighting, the doctor breathed a sigh of relief. Krystal, Todd, Akasha, Kylie, Lola, Misty, and Fox sat apart from each other, on the floor, their feet tucked into their chests, hands behind their heads.

Tigress paced before them, keeping watch.

"I'm sorry, but zis is vorse than I thought! I believe zat you are losing respect for one another...and that has to stop! I believe zat it is in ze best interest of ze team that it disband. You vill also need additional therapy sessions as vell!" said the doctor. "I don't know if disbanding the team would do any better, that's a 'cop-out'." Misty declared. "Yeah, everyone seems to be looking for the easy way out, a 'quick fix'. That's no way to solve things." said Falco. "We wouldn't need additional sessions if we disband the team, than makes no sense!" said Fara.

"I'm afraid zat just one session von't do! You all may have to visit me, separately and repeatedly...better yet, I think you need more in-depth analyzing from more advanced specialists in psychology!" the shrink said. "So...what, you'll run the meter up on us, then dump us off on one of your shrink buddies for a kickback, is that it!?" Todd grumbled.

"No, no, not at all!" said the doctor.

"Now WAIT A MINUTE!" said Fox. "You said you were able to cure anyone! Not lead them on for a few sessions, then pass them along to someone else! This is an outrage!" said Falco. "But you are an extreme case!" said the doctor. "Us and how many others!?" said Madame Vulpine.

"I think we've made a breakthrough. We're not gonna let someone like you talk down to us, and then think he can pull one over on us with this crap!" said Edge. Fox ago up off the floor, along with Kylie, Krystal, Misty, Akasha, Lola, and Todd. "We don't need your b.s.!" said Todd.

"Yeah, and I see the diplomas on the wall! You just need to pay off your student loans!" Babs accused. "Now vait, that's not....!" the doctor backed away from the team as they advanced on him. Fox reached into his jacket, as the shrink cringed, fearing the worst.

Fox pulled out a pen and a checkbook, and wrote a check, entered it in the register, and handed it to the shrink. "There! For ONE session! I think we're done here!" Fox put away the pen and checkbook, and the team gathered their things and left.

"But VAIT! You shtill have so much to go over! Ve have barely scratched the surface...." said the doctor. "Thanks, but we're fine!" said Slippy. After they left the shrink's office, they all burst out laughing. "There! Doesn't that feel better to get that all out in the open!? Doesn't it feel like we're a functional team again?" Fox said to the others, who nodded. They went home, and they got along much better for a long time to come.


Thanks for reading!