Name: Walt Asante Esiason
School: Cochise High School
Hobbies and Interests: Basketball, pro-wrestling, writing
Appearance: 6'7" and 218 pounds, Walt is hard to miss. He's a dark-skinned black man, with noticeable muscle tone from playing basketball, making him properly cut for his height and activities. Walt's face is very angular, having a square jawline with high cheekbones and a pointed nose. His eyes are dark brown and his curly hair is plain black, braided into dreads that hover above his shoulders and colored dark blonde at the tips. His hair is often accessorized by a headband during games and a snapback cap otherwise, and will occasionally tie into an up-do bun.
For clothes, he has a number of polo shirts and basketball jerseys he can wear and skinny jeans that come in a variety of colors, and highly favors Jordans and Nike shoes for footwear.
On the day of the abduction, Walt was wearing a leopard print track jacket over a pink cut-off shirt with the words "It's Not Showing Off" on the front and "If You Back It Up" on the back in bold blue lettering, black denim skinny jeans, and a fiesta color San Antonio Spurs snapback hat, with black and yellow Jordans.
Biography: Abe and Tabitha Esiason were high school sweethearts who managed to to stay together throughout college, and ended up married by the time they graduated. On August 1st 1996, Walt was born in Kingman, becoming the couple's first and only child.
The reason Walt would remain an only child was because Tabitha suffered from complications during the birth, and passed away soon after it was over. Without his other half, Abe found himself in a difficult situation of having to raise a child by himself and without a lot of financial help. This led to Abe working long hours as a data entry clerk, while Walt would stay with his retired grandparents. Since Walt was doing this since he was born, it felt normal for him to have to stay with his grandparents all the time. This continued until he got to middle school, and was considered mature enough to take care of himself at the house. During this time, both Walt and Abe developed poor diets, consisting of mostly microwave dinners and fatty foods due to Abe being too tired to cook proper food. This lead to them becoming overweight and unhealthy.
Walt's weight issues led to him becoming sensitive about his body during his childhood. Walt wasn't bullied for his weight, considering he was a lot bigger compared to most of his classmates. However, Walt was still very self-conscious and often felt excluded from the other students, especially when it came to gym class and recess. Walt would always come home alone and stay locked up in his room, where he turned to TV for comfort. It was here that Walt got his love for basketball and pro-wrestling, where everybody was so strong and fast, and watched the amazing things they could do with their athleticism. Still, Walt kept this interest to himself, and had barely anybody to talk to. The only one he could talk to about it was his dad, as his dad began trying to be more involved in Walt's life since he was beginning to recognize how often Walt was alone.
Knowing that something needed to be done, Abe decided to take out his son running around the park and play games with him at the basketball court. It was difficult for a while, as Walt felt embarrassed being outside, not being very skilled at the game and his insecurities making him feel like everybody was looking at him. Abe had to carry his son through a lot of the pain, having to talk to him out of quitting numerous times, telling him to look towards the men on TV that he looked up to so much, using them as inspiration to keep on going. It wasn't till middle school that Walt was able to shake off his worries to make some real progress, and got the courage to sign up for the school team. Even though he was still pretty hefty and slow, he was also very tall, and all his games with his father gave him enough know-how to compete as the starting center once he hit the 8th grade. Finally, Walt had managed to lose all his weight, and was beginning to look more like how he wanted to. He grew more loud and open, and this developed into having friends from his team and the more sociable crowd in general. Now that he had friends, Walt was wasn't quite sure what to do after that. So he decided to do stuff he thought friends were suppose to do, such as inviting them over to his house to play games and watch TV. What he did know, however, was that he was happier now.
With his popularity came pride. Being in shape gave Walt the idea that just because he was strong and tall that he could take on anything. This led to him challenging varsity players even while he was still only a freshman and getting into confrontations with people who were stronger then he was, and having to eat his words afterwards in return. They were mostly kept quiet as Walt made sure to never get into a fight on school grounds, but his dad would scold him when he came back with bruises. This gave him a bit of a reputation of a big mouth his first few years, but this has generally cooled down as there aren't many people he feels he needs to challenge anymore. Still though, over time Walt has proven to be a talented center for the varsity basketball team who can back up all his big talk, and is especially proud of his dunking ability. While not having the best footwork and still a little awkward and clumsy, Walt makes up for it by adopting a defensive style of play on the court. His main flaw is being unable to deal with trash talk and mind games, and this often makes him lose focus and react instinctively, messing up on moves he'd be able to do otherwise just fine. While he can be very prideful, Walt still doesn't have a good grasp on his own confidence.
Besides his love for basketball, Walt also still likes pro-wrestling. His favorite wrestlers tend to be the flashy and arrogant types who can still walk the walk, such as Dolph Ziggler. His viewership is mostly contained to watching WWE and related content, but sometimes is able to watch other promotions and indie material. He also occasionally indulges in backyard wrestling, committing to a character inspired by his favorites. Pro-wrestling hasn't had as major effect on Walt's life as basketball has, so it's mostly a hobby for him.
In school, Walt is basically average, garnering B's and C's in most of his classes, the only A's he can consistently contain are his English and elective courses. For electives, he usually picks easy classes like gym to just fill in the time, but English is something he has a genuine taste for. In fact, Walt's English teachers convinced him to explore his literary skills, and has begun taking up writing spare time. He likes his free-time writing more than schoolwork, as it allows him to write whatever he wants, so there's a sense of freedom to it, but he mostly writes to entertain himself and have some skills going into college. His stories range being personal and minimalistic to grand and mythical, but it really just depends on how he's feeling that. Walt keeps up a blog as well, where he sometimes shares his writings, but mostly uses it to muse on his daily life. As of now, his writing skills have made him toy with the idea of becoming a sports columnist when he's done with schooling.
Right now, Walt is feeling placid about life in general. He doesn't spend as much time with his dad as he used to, but lately has been asking more about his mother. Having to decided what he wants to do with his future has made him curious about his mom, wondering what kind of person she was and the like. He's been procrastinating on applying to colleges, but he's nearly sure he's going to stay local, Arizona State being the school he's kept in mind. Besides that, he's mainly letting the days go by till more comes along, hanging out with his high school friends and basketball teammates as much as he can, being loud and carefree.
Advantages: Walt is strong, so he can handle himself if things get physical. He is also very tall, so coupled with his physical abilities, which might help ward off anybody looking for an easy target. Walt's pride in himself won't make him easily intimidated, and he will be willing to call people on their threats and bluffs.
Disadvantages: Walt can be confrontational, and will probably be unwilling to back down even if the situation might call for it. Walt it also very sensitive, which can get him riled up easily and stop thinking clearly. He is also a little clumsy.
Unfortunately, Walt is DENIED pending adjustments. My comments are in teal.
Heh. No problem, just thought this was funny.wrote: "It's Not Showing Off" on the front and "If You Back It Up"
Did Walt ever want to know his mother/did her death impact him in any way? You mention that later on in life he wanted to know who his mother was, and that's okay, but did Walt ever wonder who his mother was before then? While it may have been normal for him to be raised by his grandparents and it may not bother him, certainly seeing other kids with their mothers or seeing mothers with their children on television would make Walt wonder where his mother was/who she was? It's fine if he didn't, just make sure to justify it in some way (ex asking his dad about it, seeing him get upset, and then not asking again after that).wrote:Since Walt was doing this since he was born, it felt normal for him to have to stay with his grandparents all the time.
Go ahead and delete ". This" and change "lead" to "leading" and add a comma after food for better flow.wrote:proper food. This lead
I'm a bit confused on the chronological order of things here. Did Walt become overweight while he was still living with his grandparents most of the time? Or did he become overweight come middle school when he started living with his dad full time? The way this paragraph is structured suggests the latter while later paragraphs suggest the former. Both possibilities create issues regardless, so please clarify and I will come back to you on what to do next regarding this. (Sorry to send you to a second round automatically!)wrote:This continued until he got to middle school, and was considered mature enough to take care of himself at the house. During this time, both Walt and Abe developed poor diets, consisting of mostly microwave dinners and fatty foods due to Abe being too tired to cook proper food. This lead to them becoming overweight and unhealthy.
Change this "and" to "as he" for better flow here, since you seem to be setting up a causal relationship.wrote:interest to himself, and had barely
Delete this comma.wrote:some real progress, and got
Did Walt's diet improve at all? Getting more exercise helps with losing weight, but no amount of exercise can fix weight gained from a poor diet if that poor diet doesn't improve. For an easy fix, you could change this sentence to "Finally, through his new found exercise and his dad improving their diet in an effort to live healthier, Walt had managed..."wrote:Finally, Walt had managed to lose all his weight, and was beginning to look more like how he wanted to.
Typo, than.wrote:were stronger then he
What about backyard wrestling made Walt interested in participating in it? Did his father approve? Did Walt ever get hurt doing this? If yes, did the injuries ever affect his basketball playing?wrote:He also occasionally indulges in backyard wrestling, committing to a character inspired by his favorites.
What initially made Walt's English teachers encourage him to explore writing as a hobby?wrote:In fact, Walt's English teachers convinced him to explore his literary skills
I'm assuming the "that" was a typo. If it was, then restructure everything from "but" on to "with what he writes depending on how he's feeling" to remove ambiguity in the sentence and to create better flow.wrote:His stories range being personal and minimalistic to grand and mythical, but it really just depends on how he's feeling that.
So, overall, the content that you have is good. The main issue the profile has is a lack of content, mainly relating to there being too few hobbies and interests/too little on the hobbies and interests that are there for how few hobbies/interests there are. Don't worry about that this time around, though, I'll elaborate more once I get your answer re: the chronological order of things. Post here when you get the edits made and I'll help you in another round.