Violet Schmidt

CrossbowPig
Contender
Joined: June 28th, 2016, 7:37 pm

January 7th, 2018, 10:10 pm #1

Name: Violet Schmidt
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Grade: Senior
School: George Hunter High School
Hobbies and Interests: Violin, photography, listening to indie music, programming, webcomics, video games, video game design, the occult, conspiracy theories, Survival of the Fittest.

Appearance: Violet Schmidt is of English descent and has pale skin, brown eyes, and brown hair. She is 6'4" and weighs around 185 pounds. The weight is evenly distributed throughout her body, lending Violet a skinny appearance. Very little of her weight is muscle mass. She has freckles under her eyes that stand out in bright light against her lighter skin tone. Her light-brown hair is naturally straight, and requires some maintenance to keep looking nice. She wears her hair down to around her shoulders and has long bangs that hide her forehead. Her face is roughly round shaped. Her nose is small and straight, and she has thin lips. Violet's voice is quiet and soft, and has a relatively high pitch relative to her height. She speaks relatively quickly, and her voice displays a normal range of emotion.

Violet dresses in plaid shirts and blue jeans, carrying a brown purse wherever she goes. For footwear, she most often wears brown boots. She frequently accessorizes with scarves and wool hats, of which her favorite combination is a forest green scarf and a blue hat. For her rituals and occult practices, she has an assortment of differently colored robes that she uses as ceremonial garb and as casual clothing around the house and on short errands. As a middle ground between her occult sensibilities and her mundane attire, she wears an amethyst bead bracelet and a circular heliotrope necklace as both protective charms and as sources for courage and wisdom.

Biography: Violet was born in 1999 to Bob and Carol Schmidt, a freelance journalist and an accountant respectively. She has an older sister named Dana, born just three years before herself. Dana is the rebellious type, spending time frequently out of the house while the two were growing up. Dana no longer lives at home, but she still lives in the city, and the two run into each other fairly often, as well as talking on the phone a decent amount of times in a given month. She maintains a good relationship with her parents, and they are supportive of her and her interests. They are welcoming to the friends she makes as well, often letting Violet invite them over to her house while they aren't home as long as they've had the chance to meet them first.

Violet could be described as kind and helpful. She always assumes the best of anyone she meets for the first time, for better or for worse, and her first instinct on seeing someone in trouble is to rush to their aid. That being said, those closer to her know her to be prone to playing harmless practical jokes every so often, and isn't above laughing at a cruel or dirty joke, even if she personally refrains from using foul language. Violet's warmness and hospitality enable her to make acquaintances with others easily, and she enjoys a healthy social life. Most of the friends she has share her hobbies, though she finds it difficult to articulate her passion for those interests in a way that does not alienate others, often delving too deeply into the mechanics of why something she likes is effective or not. Violet has a reputation for being eccentric, though most are willing to overlook this due to her kindness. She does fairly well in school, earning a "B" in most of her classes, and her favorite classes are English and history for letting her apply her analytic thinking in a way that is seen as more acceptable.

The concept of physical intimacy makes Violet physically uncomfortable and causes her to violently react whenever touched. The only remotely romantic relationship she has ever been a part of was during the seventh grade and lasted for roughly two weeks, ending with the pair breaking up due to mutual disinterest. Though she finds herself attracted to people of both sexes, her desires toward them are more likely to fall along the lines of sitting a few feet apart on a park bench and talking rather than passionately making out at a party. Being embraced by anyone leads to a sensation of extreme discomfort to her and usually results in violent protest.

This aversion to physical contact is tied to her memories of being abused and physically tormented at the hands of her older sister for a short time period that began when Violet was three years old. Due to a combination of being bullied by her peers, not being taken seriously by her teachers when she tried to tell them of her bullying, and having trouble coping with an unrequited elementary school crush, Dana began venting her innermost thoughts and feelings toward Violet. As time went on and the situation became all the more dire for her, she grew desperate for physical contact, and began to practice hugging and kissing her younger sister. When Violet began to resist this unwanted contact, Dana would hit and scratch her, going so far as to bite her on the mouth. When Carol eventually walked in on Dana tormenting her sister, she began to panic and forcibly separated the two. While after several weeks of counseling and several years of growing up Violet has come to forgive her sister, and Dana has apologized on multiple occasions for her impulsive actions, Violet is still haunted by the specters of her past in the form of severe haphephobia and her resistance to romantic and/or sexual contact. If the subject of her abuse is broached around Violet, she usually explains what happened in unspecific terms and moves on, not wanting to make anybody uncomfortable.

Violet is a musician, having played the violin since she was introduced to the instrument in 6th grade. Orchestra class was a constant in her school schedule until sophomore year, when an audience member with an oxygen tank fainted at one of her school concerts, scarring her and prompting her to feel much more shy about playing in front of large audiences due to her perception of the incident as a bad omen. Despite spending most of her free time playing the violin, most of the music she listens to falls into the indie or alternative set of genres. Her favorite artists and bands include, but are not limited to, Radiohead, The Smiths, Car Seat Headrest, Tame Impala, The Pixies, Animal Collective, St. Vincent, Sufjan Stevens, and Neutral Milk Hotel. Her tastes are influenced heavily by her parent's taste and small record collection. Beyond these bands, she explores music at a brisk pace, listening to at least one new full length album a week. As she views music as, ultimately, subjective, she doesn't judge other people's tastes very much as long as they've put thought into them.

While Violet is a competent musician, one of her other prominent interests, programming, leaves a lot to be desired in terms of personal skill. Violet's personal laptop computer is littered with notepad documents with sections of code ranging from slightly bugged to unrecognizably written. Despite her lack of success, Violet continues to pursue coding as a means of fueling her dream of becoming an independent game developer. Her taste in video games is similar to that of her taste in music in that it veers towards the odd and slightly pretentious. Some of her favorite games include Fez, LSD Dream Emulator, Hyper Light Drifter, Undertale, Yume Nikki, What Remains of Edith Finch, and The Witness. Violet also likes to emulate classic video games on her computer, including Earthbound, Final Fantasy VII, Mega Man X, Actraiser, Ecco the Dolphin, and Out of this World. She plays these games on both a casual and analytical level, watching several game design focused YouTube channels in her free time and keeping a notebook full of her design ideas and learned lessons.

Violet also appreciates webcomics based around video games and is prone to make references to them even when around people who have no idea what she's talking about. She has experimented with putting together sprite comics in Microsoft Paint before, but it only took her a few tries to realize that her creativity did not extend into this facet of her life. Some of her favorites include Neglected Mario Characters, Bob and George, Problem Sleuth, Homestuck, Gamercat, and Penny Arcade. One of the few comics - and, by extension, things - that she actively hates is Ctrl-Alt-Delete, which she detests with a passion for what she perceives as crude humor and horrible characters. After her failed attempts at drawing sprite comics, Violet attempted to make her own webcomics using photography. These efforts consisted of her taking pictures of things around the house and putting them into what she considered to be interesting circumstances or positions. Though these webcomics were never uploaded due to her own shyness, she has taken to photographing sunsets and interesting things she sees around town with her phone, taking quiet pride in her attention to detail. Violet is happy with her phone camera and prefers the easy to use interfaces of photo editing apps to the overwhelming amount of options a software suite on her computer would provide.

Upfront and enthusiastic about her endeavors into the worlds of music and video games, Violet is more reluctant about sharing her passion for the occult. One summer evening when she was 11, she accidentally walked in on her mother performing a dedication ceremony for a newly acquired gemstone in her bedroom. Carol had long expressed a passive interest in the supernatural, owing to a lucky prediction by a fortune teller at a carnival in her own youth. Up to this point, she had kept her occult indulgences to reading horoscopes, but after she received the gemstone as a gift from a friend, she decided to explore the subject further. Unnoticed, Violet managed to slip away, carrying the experience and memories with her to school and up into the nearby public library, where she found various books on what she might have just seen. Violet is an active practitioner of meditation, lucid dreaming techniques, divination via the tarot, herbomancy, geomancy, and other general metaphysical activities. Violet believes that the answers to life's questions are found through spiritual development. Owing to this devotion to the metaphysical is her silence regarding her interest in the occult, as she believes it inauspicious and unwise to share about one's own spiritual growth in the interest of keeping her external and internal lives separate.

She also pursues rumors of cryptids and reads conspiracy theories on the internet, frequenting various message boards as both a visitor and a participant in the conversation. While she's usually fine with other people's views on the craft, profiteering off of fortune telling and illusions, to her, flies in the face of the craft, and is a surefire way to get on her rarely seen bad side, which has demonstrably consisted of passive-aggressive behavior at worst. Presence on these websites has exposed her to people of all kinds, ranging all extremes of the political spectrum, and has resulted in her adopting a mostly Libertarian political view. Though Violet is averse to sharing her esoteric hobbies with others she meets, she has in the past shared her passion for the occult with the friends she holds most dear, and her parents are for the most part supportive of her hobby even if it has caused them stress in the past.

However, it was also around this time that Violet discovered something that she keeps a dark secret from everybody, regardless of their proximity to her socially. During her first few weeks delving into occult imageboards, Violet began to hear increasingly of Survival of the Fittest in the context of occult symbolism and conspiracies. Curious, Violet began to indulge the idea that Survival of the Fittest carried a ritualistic importance. Through some time spent in IRC chat rooms and Skype groups, lying about her age and background for the sake of fulfilling her own curiosity, she managed to acquire links to and downloads of the webcast. Upon first attempting to watch the footage and finding herself deeply unsettled by it, she deleted the files off of her hard drive and tried to erase it from her mind, ashamed of what she had just done. However, a combination of imagery from the footage she had seen appearing to her in her meditations and the occurrence of a sixth kidnapping in 2015 drove her back to Survival of the Fittest out of morbid curiosity and a desire to know more than what she was seeing from the news media about the attacks. Though she shied away from viewing any footage, she avidly followed the events of the game throughout its duration by reading discussion threads in message boards online. The conclusion of the version led her to research the events of past abductions.

By now, Violet has become somewhat obsessed with the event, setting aside times each week to read articles about the impact of the game. She rationalizes her overly extensive research of the game to both a study in game design and her own form of occult ritual, though she does not believe the game is a ritual itself. In studying altercations on the island through the lens of a game designer, she tries to look for moments where the intentions of the terrorists failed and the kidnapped students worked together, though half of this comes from her aversion to the more violent killings. Though she is still somewhat ashamed of her continued fixation on the events, enough to keep her from ever thinking about telling someone she knows about it, she more often feels neutral when researching the abductions. Her familiarity with the game extends to knowledge of several students across all versions, as well as the layouts of the different islands

When Violet graduates, she plans on taking a gap year for a pilgrimage to various sites of occult importance and interest, an experience she hopes to eventually write a book about. She also looks forward to being able to find other practitioners on and off the campus of whatever college she chooses to attend, and to starting a secret society or coven for people with similar interests to herself. She hopes to find a way to pursue both game development and occultism in a professional way, but tries not to think too much about the financial side of her future. Violet believes that her life will sort itself out as long as she has faith that it will, and thus chooses to let fate take its course.

Advantages: Violet has an outwardly kind demeanor, and will be friendly to most people she happens upon. Her height may prove useful if she ever needs to climb up onto a tall ledge or if she needs to reach things in high up places. She is a very analytical thinker, and her creativity and design-focused way of thinking could help with solving problems and diplomacy in tough situations.
Disadvantages: Violet suffers from haphephobia, and in the event that she suffers an injury would be find it incredibly difficult to accept medical assistance. The idea of being trapped in a small area or room with someone else brings her great discomfort. Her helpful nature can be easily taken advantage of by her enemies. Hiding and stealth will be more difficult for her due to her spindly limbs. She is not particularly strong physically, and does not like spending too much time outdoors.
~~~~~ Creativity's Burning Pyre ~~~~~
[+] Spoiler
- Violet Schmidt: "Well, sure, I guess I can try and help with that. Ever read Corpus Hermetica? It'll make understanding this easier." Memory-1, Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2, Pregame-3

- Lucas Diaz: "I'd apologize, but I don't want to dig things up all over again, y'know?" Memory-1, Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2

- Max Rudolph: "What the people need is a common banner under which to unite. It might not be what you want, but the fact of the matter is..." Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2

- Liberty "Bert" Wren: "At eight? Let me see if that fits into my schedule. Been real busy lately." Facebook, Pregame-1
[+] Spoiler
/ - G051: Lili Williams: "Stop..." Memory-1, Pregame-1, Island-1, Island-2, Island-3, Island-4, Island-5, Island-6, Island-7, Island-8, Island-9, Island-10, Island-11, Island-12, Island-13, Island-14, Island-15, Island-16, Island-17, Island-18, Island-19.

/ - B043: Arthur Bernstein: "I...I'll...I'll..." Memory-1, Meanwhile-2, Island-1, Island-2, Island-3, Island-4, Island-5, Island-6, Island-7, Meanwhile-1
[+] Spoiler
- insert of lucky br8k!!!!!!!!
- insert of O.B. - white kid who is involved in politics and has divorced rich parents and issues with feeling emotions
- self-styled detective
- normie
- lou reed doing a gay voice
- insert of F.G.D. - black kid who wears a pizza hat and plays trumpet
- cute thing
- Darl from As I Lay Dying
- insert of A.B. my dorkass little brother who fancies himself a linguist and gets on my nerves
- good lives make bad stories
- insert of N.T. another floutist because I havent done one of those already
- hillbilly
- someone who doesnt "have a good time making allies" as an advantage
- pine barrens monster from the family that has a ghost butler
- David Foster Wallace
- furry
- myself again
- insert of K.D. a pianist and if you thought bert was smol, hohohohoho
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Ruggahissy
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 10th, 2010, 2:07 am

January 8th, 2018, 12:45 am #2

Hello there, my name is Ruggahissy. I'll be your critique moderator! Violet needs some fixes, but I can't say no to a girl who loves conspiracies and the occult.


Interests: I feel like "computer gaming" falls under the general category of "video games" so you can trim that one.

Appearance

- Could you be a bit more precise as far as describing her of western European descent? I looked this up and got a few results, but given that she is tan I'm assuming her ancestors are either from the Iberian peninsula or the Mediterranean region since those both match up with more tan skin.

"She is 200 centimeters tall, or 6'4" in the imperial system of measurement."

- Profiles only use the imperial system, so go ahead and remove the height in centimeters.

"She weighs around 185 pounds, giving her a Body Mass Index number of 22.5, which places her in the range considered 'healthy' by most doctors."

- It's probably more useful to put down what sort of shape she is in generality than the BMI for someone reading the profile.

"She has freckles under her eyes that stand out in bright light against her lighter skin tone."

- Bit of a nitpick here, but "lighter" skin tone is a bit at odds with her being described as tan earlier.

- Some description for nose and lips would be great.

- Does she wear any of her ceremonial robes outside the house or out and about? If not, may not need to be part of the "appearance" section.

- Mainly because I like occult jewelry I was wondering if you might be able to describe a bit more what her bracelet and necklace look like.

Cool. ONWARD

Bio:

"Though she occasionally knows the answer to a question on a TV quiz show, her general knowledge is limited to her hobbies."

- You can take this bit out. We don't need to know her skill at Jeopardy and one would hope she knows about her hobbies.

"The only noteworthy romantic relationship she has ever been a part of was during the seventh grade and lasted for roughly two weeks, the amount of intimacy distant enough that the cause of separation was not due to any conflict but mutual disinterest in what little effort they had put toward their partnership."

- That's quite a long sentence. Breaking that up a bit might make it easier on the reader.

- Quick note on the physical contact bit. I actually was haphephobic for about 10 years growing up during my teen years and even though I've grown to not have such violent reactions, I'm still not a fan of being touched. It's a bit odd that she is able to hold hands if she has a violent reaction whenever touched.

- I have to ask, but what exactly is the "severe social mishap" that would cause 6-year-old Dana from lashing out?

- How long did this biting and scratching last? If I'm reading this right, this is a six-year-old picking on a three-year-old. It's fine if this is the source of her dislike of being touched, but if someone asked me about someone scratching and biting me from when I was three, I probably wouldn't think much of of it. I only mention it because it says that Violet minimizing talk of the incident, like it was something that still weighs on her when it doesn't sound like it was that bad (pretty par for the course for children) and it was from so long ago.

"Violet is a musician, having played the Violin"

- No capitalization for "violin." "Violin" seems to be capitalized throughout so please go through and un-capitalize all musical instruments in the biography.

"was a constant in her school schedule until Sophomore year,"

- No capitalization for "sophomore."


"Orchestra class was a constant in her school schedule until Sophomore year, when an audience member with an oxygen tank fainted at one of her school concerts, scarring her and prompting her to feel much more shy about playing in front of large audiences."

- I'm not sure I understand the rationale here. Why did this incident affect her ability to play in front of people? Is it because she's superstitious or something?

- Genres are also not capitalized such as "indie" and "alternative." I had to look this one up here.

"bands include, but are not limited to, Radioed"

- You misspelled "Radiohead" unless there is an indie band called "Radioed" I don't know about. I'm telling Thom Yorke

- I'd like just a short bit on how she got into these genres.

"watching several game design focused youtube channels"

- Should be "YouTube"

"Violet also appreciates web comics based around video games, and "

- No comma between "games" and "and."

- Has Violet thought about upgrading her photography equipment or is she happy with her phone camera?

"Upfront and enthusiastic about her endeavors into the worlds of music and video games, Violet keeps secret the passion closest to her heart: the Occult."

- This sentence reads a bit strange for a neutral third party writing it. Retool this to be a bit a little more mundane. Also I couldn't find a sure answer, but none of the sources I found capitalized "occult" so that's what I'm going to go with.

"Carol had long expressed a passive interest in the supernatural, though not to the extent that she thought her daughter would end up believing in it."

- This sentence is a bit confusing. Carol has an interest in this, but not to the extent that she thought her daughter would? What extent did she think her daughter would believe in it?

- Tarot is capitalized and I had to go to a tarot forum to look up the rules on this, which seem to be:

"Those who think that tarot is a belief system or some other a practice worthy of special recognition will use the term 'Tarot'."

Since a terrorist is writing this profile and not Violet, I'm going to request uncapitalized "tarot."

- Why does Violet like doing the metaphysical activities? It would be cool to know what she gets out of it, or if she just thinks they are interesting.

" get on her rarely seen bad-side"

- No hyphen for "bad side."

- Re: SOTF, V6 was in 2015, so Violet should have been aware of what this was before venturing into the message boards since it was pretty huge news. Her not knowing what she is getting into with these files seems unlikely. Her using this event as an inspiration for game design as well as having an occult element she believes in is interesting, but it is the equivalent in the real world of using something like a mass shooting for the same purposes. I wonder how using these cruel, horrible events involving the suffering of real people makes her feel and how that relates to what we are told is her generally kind nature up top.

- Does Violet have any friends? They aren't mentioned much. Not specific friends of course, but if she has them and if so what types of things do they do together or where does she know them from?

- What are her best subjects in school or what does she enjoy most?

- Does she have further aspirations for life after writing an occult book? Occult author?

- What's her relationship with her parents? Her mom sort of got her interested in alternative spirituality and it says her occult dealings stress her parents out, but it's not elaborated on.

- For disadvantages, why does she get sick frequently? Also do kids think she's weird? Does she believe that her rituals might be able to help her?


DONE. Post when you've made the chances : )
[+] Spoiler
[+] Spoiler
- Today at 8:38 PM
imagine this happening in life
and you pissed off a cop and he made you live with some incontinent sodafreak

05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not kill a policeman
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal his helmet
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not defecate in his helmet and mail it to his grieving family.
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal it again

17:06 Ruggawork An orison is a prayer
17:07 trash i don't know why i thought it was a bird
17:07 trash who looks at random ass words and thinks "huh what does that mean? whatever it's probably a bird"

14:11 Kalopsia I HEARD FURRIES AND I CAME AS FAST AS I COULD.
14:11 Imehal Lovely.
14:11 Imehal Read that again.

20:16Outfoxd I SAID I'M TAKIN IT BACK FROM THE SALTINE ESTABLISHMENT
20:16Meeemz Half the drag queens on Drag Race would beg to differ.
20:16Outfoxd EVERYONE KNOWS ALL DANCE CAME FROM AFRICA
20:17Outfoxd YOU CRACKAS NEED TO PUT SOME CHEESE ON YOSELF AND GO SIT ON A SNACK TRAY SOMEWHERE

21:07craft i
21:07craft am a fan of blowjbs.
21:07craft nods sagely
21:07Rugga ?
21:07Rugga Does that mean you get a lot of them or give a lot?
21:07craft yes
21:07craft wait
21:07Rugga ....



22:31Mimi THATS WHAT I THPGUTH
22:31Mimi THOUGHTU
22:31mudkip MIMI'S TURN
22:31Ruggahissy Thougt
22:31Ruggahissy THOUGHT
22:31Mimi HOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy We got it
22:31Mimi THOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy WE GOT IT
22:31Mimi we did good
22:32Mimi we're a good team

22:46 Meeemz I love dicks, though
22:46 Meeemz er
22:46 Rugga Sig quote
22:46 NaftUm
22:46 Meeemz dicky characters
22:46 Meeemz GOD NO

19:45 BikrikiI am pretty sure we can built a bridge to jerking off

00:11 Mimi DOESN'T FOAM BREAK EASILY
00:11 Ruggahissy Not if you wrap it in duct tape
00:11 MurderWeasel There's a fiberglass core.
00:12 MurderWeasel And the foam is some special sort you buy directly from another dimension using souls as currency or something.
00:12 Ruggahissy.........

14:42 Bikriki JA! Stick it in ze boot!
14:43 Rugga I LOVE THIS KID
14:43 Bikriki adds that to list of sexual euphemisms
14:43 Skyler_Phone You have a list?
14:43 Bikriki <.<
14:43 Bikriki >.>
14:43 Bikriki No...

Victoria says:
Oh wait, I totally forgot to tell you last night because I was busy whoring
Mimi says:
STORY
OF
MY
LIFE

16:42 KamiKaze I've always wondered what using a fleshlight feels like.
16:42 KamiKaze Too bad I'm not special because God didn't give me a penis. ):

17:46 Dom LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART, NOT YOUR VAGOO

Ruggahissy this dress makes me feel like I should be having tea with the mad hatter. Not getting felt up by drunk Germans
Dom don't let them go down the rab-
Ruggahissy BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dom SO WORTH IT

09:51 Vicky We did a good job, didn't we, Meemz?
09:51 Mimi not really, no

03:19 GeneralGoose*BUT HE'S GONNA THINK IT'S A SPOON. OR MY PENIS. WHICH IT ISN'T*

23:15 Cluevara ICE CREAM MAKES YOU FAT YOU LARDY LARD BUTT.


[+] Spoiler
Jonah Heartsgrave: If you need to talk I'll listen.
Lori Martin: You're so stuck up.
Tirzah Foss: Let's have some fun.
[+] Spoiler

v6
Caleb Diamond: Silly sacrificer
Hazel Jung: Abandoned actress
v5
Amaranta Montalvo: Pageant Winner
Michelle Wexler: Vegetarian sweetheart
Paris Ardennes : Scheming holy man

v4
Ethan Kent : The smartest jerk
Sally Connelley: Dainty meanie
Nick LeMonde : Eternal optimist
Isabel Guerra: Sad little girl
Autumn O'Leary: Lonely redhead
Mary-Ann Warren: Crumbling romantic
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CrossbowPig
Contender
Joined: June 28th, 2016, 7:37 pm

January 8th, 2018, 2:46 am #3

Edited~!
~~~~~ Creativity's Burning Pyre ~~~~~
[+] Spoiler
- Violet Schmidt: "Well, sure, I guess I can try and help with that. Ever read Corpus Hermetica? It'll make understanding this easier." Memory-1, Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2, Pregame-3

- Lucas Diaz: "I'd apologize, but I don't want to dig things up all over again, y'know?" Memory-1, Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2

- Max Rudolph: "What the people need is a common banner under which to unite. It might not be what you want, but the fact of the matter is..." Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2

- Liberty "Bert" Wren: "At eight? Let me see if that fits into my schedule. Been real busy lately." Facebook, Pregame-1
[+] Spoiler
/ - G051: Lili Williams: "Stop..." Memory-1, Pregame-1, Island-1, Island-2, Island-3, Island-4, Island-5, Island-6, Island-7, Island-8, Island-9, Island-10, Island-11, Island-12, Island-13, Island-14, Island-15, Island-16, Island-17, Island-18, Island-19.

/ - B043: Arthur Bernstein: "I...I'll...I'll..." Memory-1, Meanwhile-2, Island-1, Island-2, Island-3, Island-4, Island-5, Island-6, Island-7, Meanwhile-1
[+] Spoiler
- insert of lucky br8k!!!!!!!!
- insert of O.B. - white kid who is involved in politics and has divorced rich parents and issues with feeling emotions
- self-styled detective
- normie
- lou reed doing a gay voice
- insert of F.G.D. - black kid who wears a pizza hat and plays trumpet
- cute thing
- Darl from As I Lay Dying
- insert of A.B. my dorkass little brother who fancies himself a linguist and gets on my nerves
- good lives make bad stories
- insert of N.T. another floutist because I havent done one of those already
- hillbilly
- someone who doesnt "have a good time making allies" as an advantage
- pine barrens monster from the family that has a ghost butler
- David Foster Wallace
- furry
- myself again
- insert of K.D. a pianist and if you thought bert was smol, hohohohoho
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Share

Ruggahissy
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 10th, 2010, 2:07 am

January 8th, 2018, 5:57 am #4

Almost there.

- You introduced a new error! That or I missed it the first time. When I was doing this the first time I looked up if it is "webcomic" or "web comic" and both are actually acceptable, so says Dictionary.com. However in the interests and hobbies you have "web-comic." Since the rest of the profile uses "webcomic" go ahead and change it to that.

Not a critique but I'm highly amused at the idea that Violet goes to the corner store for milk in her occult robes. You're clear on the rest of appearance section.

- "History" as a class subject is lower case.

"The only remotely romantic relationship she has ever been a part of was during the seventh grade and lasted for roughly two weeks, ending with a "

- This sentence seems to have gotten cut off.

- "Sophomore" is still capitalized as is "violin" in the same paragraph.

- Also the band names don't need to be italicized. You would only italicize albums (depending on what style guide you are going by, I have no idea if SOTF is AP Style or Chicago or what, but none of the guides italicize band names so I'm off the hook. Some guides do use italics for games so you can keep those as is).

Past!Rugga:
"Upfront and enthusiastic about her endeavors into the worlds of music and video games, Violet keeps secret the passion closest to her heart: the Occult."

- This sentence reads a bit strange for a neutral third party writing it. Retool this to be a bit a little more mundane. Also I couldn't find a sure answer, but none of the sources I found capitalized "occult" so that's what I'm going to go with.

- Occult is also capitalized still in a sentence.

I think my main sticking point here is still the SOTF fandom. I may be more soft than the average person, but I don't think I could willing watch kids die, nor would I want to. The fact that she doesn't think of these kids as people and more as NPCs is even more disturbing as well as referring to the dead kids as "characters" as both make her seem dangerously unempathetic. I'm fine with her researching the events in their connections to the occult or to conspiracies (as I'm sure people would really speculate about that sort of thing in real life) but weapons and quotes don't seem to have anything to do with that. Basically, tone that down a bit.

Lemme know when those edits are hot and fresh!

[+] Spoiler
[+] Spoiler
- Today at 8:38 PM
imagine this happening in life
and you pissed off a cop and he made you live with some incontinent sodafreak

05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not kill a policeman
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal his helmet
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not defecate in his helmet and mail it to his grieving family.
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal it again

17:06 Ruggawork An orison is a prayer
17:07 trash i don't know why i thought it was a bird
17:07 trash who looks at random ass words and thinks "huh what does that mean? whatever it's probably a bird"

14:11 Kalopsia I HEARD FURRIES AND I CAME AS FAST AS I COULD.
14:11 Imehal Lovely.
14:11 Imehal Read that again.

20:16Outfoxd I SAID I'M TAKIN IT BACK FROM THE SALTINE ESTABLISHMENT
20:16Meeemz Half the drag queens on Drag Race would beg to differ.
20:16Outfoxd EVERYONE KNOWS ALL DANCE CAME FROM AFRICA
20:17Outfoxd YOU CRACKAS NEED TO PUT SOME CHEESE ON YOSELF AND GO SIT ON A SNACK TRAY SOMEWHERE

21:07craft i
21:07craft am a fan of blowjbs.
21:07craft nods sagely
21:07Rugga ?
21:07Rugga Does that mean you get a lot of them or give a lot?
21:07craft yes
21:07craft wait
21:07Rugga ....



22:31Mimi THATS WHAT I THPGUTH
22:31Mimi THOUGHTU
22:31mudkip MIMI'S TURN
22:31Ruggahissy Thougt
22:31Ruggahissy THOUGHT
22:31Mimi HOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy We got it
22:31Mimi THOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy WE GOT IT
22:31Mimi we did good
22:32Mimi we're a good team

22:46 Meeemz I love dicks, though
22:46 Meeemz er
22:46 Rugga Sig quote
22:46 NaftUm
22:46 Meeemz dicky characters
22:46 Meeemz GOD NO

19:45 BikrikiI am pretty sure we can built a bridge to jerking off

00:11 Mimi DOESN'T FOAM BREAK EASILY
00:11 Ruggahissy Not if you wrap it in duct tape
00:11 MurderWeasel There's a fiberglass core.
00:12 MurderWeasel And the foam is some special sort you buy directly from another dimension using souls as currency or something.
00:12 Ruggahissy.........

14:42 Bikriki JA! Stick it in ze boot!
14:43 Rugga I LOVE THIS KID
14:43 Bikriki adds that to list of sexual euphemisms
14:43 Skyler_Phone You have a list?
14:43 Bikriki <.<
14:43 Bikriki >.>
14:43 Bikriki No...

Victoria says:
Oh wait, I totally forgot to tell you last night because I was busy whoring
Mimi says:
STORY
OF
MY
LIFE

16:42 KamiKaze I've always wondered what using a fleshlight feels like.
16:42 KamiKaze Too bad I'm not special because God didn't give me a penis. ):

17:46 Dom LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART, NOT YOUR VAGOO

Ruggahissy this dress makes me feel like I should be having tea with the mad hatter. Not getting felt up by drunk Germans
Dom don't let them go down the rab-
Ruggahissy BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dom SO WORTH IT

09:51 Vicky We did a good job, didn't we, Meemz?
09:51 Mimi not really, no

03:19 GeneralGoose*BUT HE'S GONNA THINK IT'S A SPOON. OR MY PENIS. WHICH IT ISN'T*

23:15 Cluevara ICE CREAM MAKES YOU FAT YOU LARDY LARD BUTT.


[+] Spoiler
Jonah Heartsgrave: If you need to talk I'll listen.
Lori Martin: You're so stuck up.
Tirzah Foss: Let's have some fun.
[+] Spoiler

v6
Caleb Diamond: Silly sacrificer
Hazel Jung: Abandoned actress
v5
Amaranta Montalvo: Pageant Winner
Michelle Wexler: Vegetarian sweetheart
Paris Ardennes : Scheming holy man

v4
Ethan Kent : The smartest jerk
Sally Connelley: Dainty meanie
Nick LeMonde : Eternal optimist
Isabel Guerra: Sad little girl
Autumn O'Leary: Lonely redhead
Mary-Ann Warren: Crumbling romantic
Like
Share

CrossbowPig
Contender
Joined: June 28th, 2016, 7:37 pm

January 8th, 2018, 11:40 pm #5

Edited once more~!
~~~~~ Creativity's Burning Pyre ~~~~~
[+] Spoiler
- Violet Schmidt: "Well, sure, I guess I can try and help with that. Ever read Corpus Hermetica? It'll make understanding this easier." Memory-1, Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2, Pregame-3

- Lucas Diaz: "I'd apologize, but I don't want to dig things up all over again, y'know?" Memory-1, Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2

- Max Rudolph: "What the people need is a common banner under which to unite. It might not be what you want, but the fact of the matter is..." Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2

- Liberty "Bert" Wren: "At eight? Let me see if that fits into my schedule. Been real busy lately." Facebook, Pregame-1
[+] Spoiler
/ - G051: Lili Williams: "Stop..." Memory-1, Pregame-1, Island-1, Island-2, Island-3, Island-4, Island-5, Island-6, Island-7, Island-8, Island-9, Island-10, Island-11, Island-12, Island-13, Island-14, Island-15, Island-16, Island-17, Island-18, Island-19.

/ - B043: Arthur Bernstein: "I...I'll...I'll..." Memory-1, Meanwhile-2, Island-1, Island-2, Island-3, Island-4, Island-5, Island-6, Island-7, Meanwhile-1
[+] Spoiler
- insert of lucky br8k!!!!!!!!
- insert of O.B. - white kid who is involved in politics and has divorced rich parents and issues with feeling emotions
- self-styled detective
- normie
- lou reed doing a gay voice
- insert of F.G.D. - black kid who wears a pizza hat and plays trumpet
- cute thing
- Darl from As I Lay Dying
- insert of A.B. my dorkass little brother who fancies himself a linguist and gets on my nerves
- good lives make bad stories
- insert of N.T. another floutist because I havent done one of those already
- hillbilly
- someone who doesnt "have a good time making allies" as an advantage
- pine barrens monster from the family that has a ghost butler
- David Foster Wallace
- furry
- myself again
- insert of K.D. a pianist and if you thought bert was smol, hohohohoho
Like
Share

Ruggahissy
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 10th, 2010, 2:07 am

January 9th, 2018, 2:47 am #6

SO. CLOSE.

AND YET

Past!Rugga

- "Sophomore" is still capitalized as is "violin" in the same paragraph.



Also take out Violet having the spread sheets about the weapons.


AND THEN WE ARE DONE FOREVER MY PIGGY FRIEND
[+] Spoiler
[+] Spoiler
- Today at 8:38 PM
imagine this happening in life
and you pissed off a cop and he made you live with some incontinent sodafreak

05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not kill a policeman
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal his helmet
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not defecate in his helmet and mail it to his grieving family.
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal it again

17:06 Ruggawork An orison is a prayer
17:07 trash i don't know why i thought it was a bird
17:07 trash who looks at random ass words and thinks "huh what does that mean? whatever it's probably a bird"

14:11 Kalopsia I HEARD FURRIES AND I CAME AS FAST AS I COULD.
14:11 Imehal Lovely.
14:11 Imehal Read that again.

20:16Outfoxd I SAID I'M TAKIN IT BACK FROM THE SALTINE ESTABLISHMENT
20:16Meeemz Half the drag queens on Drag Race would beg to differ.
20:16Outfoxd EVERYONE KNOWS ALL DANCE CAME FROM AFRICA
20:17Outfoxd YOU CRACKAS NEED TO PUT SOME CHEESE ON YOSELF AND GO SIT ON A SNACK TRAY SOMEWHERE

21:07craft i
21:07craft am a fan of blowjbs.
21:07craft nods sagely
21:07Rugga ?
21:07Rugga Does that mean you get a lot of them or give a lot?
21:07craft yes
21:07craft wait
21:07Rugga ....



22:31Mimi THATS WHAT I THPGUTH
22:31Mimi THOUGHTU
22:31mudkip MIMI'S TURN
22:31Ruggahissy Thougt
22:31Ruggahissy THOUGHT
22:31Mimi HOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy We got it
22:31Mimi THOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy WE GOT IT
22:31Mimi we did good
22:32Mimi we're a good team

22:46 Meeemz I love dicks, though
22:46 Meeemz er
22:46 Rugga Sig quote
22:46 NaftUm
22:46 Meeemz dicky characters
22:46 Meeemz GOD NO

19:45 BikrikiI am pretty sure we can built a bridge to jerking off

00:11 Mimi DOESN'T FOAM BREAK EASILY
00:11 Ruggahissy Not if you wrap it in duct tape
00:11 MurderWeasel There's a fiberglass core.
00:12 MurderWeasel And the foam is some special sort you buy directly from another dimension using souls as currency or something.
00:12 Ruggahissy.........

14:42 Bikriki JA! Stick it in ze boot!
14:43 Rugga I LOVE THIS KID
14:43 Bikriki adds that to list of sexual euphemisms
14:43 Skyler_Phone You have a list?
14:43 Bikriki <.<
14:43 Bikriki >.>
14:43 Bikriki No...

Victoria says:
Oh wait, I totally forgot to tell you last night because I was busy whoring
Mimi says:
STORY
OF
MY
LIFE

16:42 KamiKaze I've always wondered what using a fleshlight feels like.
16:42 KamiKaze Too bad I'm not special because God didn't give me a penis. ):

17:46 Dom LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART, NOT YOUR VAGOO

Ruggahissy this dress makes me feel like I should be having tea with the mad hatter. Not getting felt up by drunk Germans
Dom don't let them go down the rab-
Ruggahissy BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dom SO WORTH IT

09:51 Vicky We did a good job, didn't we, Meemz?
09:51 Mimi not really, no

03:19 GeneralGoose*BUT HE'S GONNA THINK IT'S A SPOON. OR MY PENIS. WHICH IT ISN'T*

23:15 Cluevara ICE CREAM MAKES YOU FAT YOU LARDY LARD BUTT.


[+] Spoiler
Jonah Heartsgrave: If you need to talk I'll listen.
Lori Martin: You're so stuck up.
Tirzah Foss: Let's have some fun.
[+] Spoiler

v6
Caleb Diamond: Silly sacrificer
Hazel Jung: Abandoned actress
v5
Amaranta Montalvo: Pageant Winner
Michelle Wexler: Vegetarian sweetheart
Paris Ardennes : Scheming holy man

v4
Ethan Kent : The smartest jerk
Sally Connelley: Dainty meanie
Nick LeMonde : Eternal optimist
Isabel Guerra: Sad little girl
Autumn O'Leary: Lonely redhead
Mary-Ann Warren: Crumbling romantic
Like
Share

CrossbowPig
Contender
Joined: June 28th, 2016, 7:37 pm

January 9th, 2018, 3:06 am #7

edited again!
~~~~~ Creativity's Burning Pyre ~~~~~
[+] Spoiler
- Violet Schmidt: "Well, sure, I guess I can try and help with that. Ever read Corpus Hermetica? It'll make understanding this easier." Memory-1, Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2, Pregame-3

- Lucas Diaz: "I'd apologize, but I don't want to dig things up all over again, y'know?" Memory-1, Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2

- Max Rudolph: "What the people need is a common banner under which to unite. It might not be what you want, but the fact of the matter is..." Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2

- Liberty "Bert" Wren: "At eight? Let me see if that fits into my schedule. Been real busy lately." Facebook, Pregame-1
[+] Spoiler
/ - G051: Lili Williams: "Stop..." Memory-1, Pregame-1, Island-1, Island-2, Island-3, Island-4, Island-5, Island-6, Island-7, Island-8, Island-9, Island-10, Island-11, Island-12, Island-13, Island-14, Island-15, Island-16, Island-17, Island-18, Island-19.

/ - B043: Arthur Bernstein: "I...I'll...I'll..." Memory-1, Meanwhile-2, Island-1, Island-2, Island-3, Island-4, Island-5, Island-6, Island-7, Meanwhile-1
[+] Spoiler
- insert of lucky br8k!!!!!!!!
- insert of O.B. - white kid who is involved in politics and has divorced rich parents and issues with feeling emotions
- self-styled detective
- normie
- lou reed doing a gay voice
- insert of F.G.D. - black kid who wears a pizza hat and plays trumpet
- cute thing
- Darl from As I Lay Dying
- insert of A.B. my dorkass little brother who fancies himself a linguist and gets on my nerves
- good lives make bad stories
- insert of N.T. another floutist because I havent done one of those already
- hillbilly
- someone who doesnt "have a good time making allies" as an advantage
- pine barrens monster from the family that has a ghost butler
- David Foster Wallace
- furry
- myself again
- insert of K.D. a pianist and if you thought bert was smol, hohohohoho
Like
Share

Ruggahissy
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 10th, 2010, 2:07 am

January 9th, 2018, 4:10 am #8

APPROVED
[+] Spoiler
[+] Spoiler
- Today at 8:38 PM
imagine this happening in life
and you pissed off a cop and he made you live with some incontinent sodafreak

05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not kill a policeman
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal his helmet
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not defecate in his helmet and mail it to his grieving family.
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal it again

17:06 Ruggawork An orison is a prayer
17:07 trash i don't know why i thought it was a bird
17:07 trash who looks at random ass words and thinks "huh what does that mean? whatever it's probably a bird"

14:11 Kalopsia I HEARD FURRIES AND I CAME AS FAST AS I COULD.
14:11 Imehal Lovely.
14:11 Imehal Read that again.

20:16Outfoxd I SAID I'M TAKIN IT BACK FROM THE SALTINE ESTABLISHMENT
20:16Meeemz Half the drag queens on Drag Race would beg to differ.
20:16Outfoxd EVERYONE KNOWS ALL DANCE CAME FROM AFRICA
20:17Outfoxd YOU CRACKAS NEED TO PUT SOME CHEESE ON YOSELF AND GO SIT ON A SNACK TRAY SOMEWHERE

21:07craft i
21:07craft am a fan of blowjbs.
21:07craft nods sagely
21:07Rugga ?
21:07Rugga Does that mean you get a lot of them or give a lot?
21:07craft yes
21:07craft wait
21:07Rugga ....



22:31Mimi THATS WHAT I THPGUTH
22:31Mimi THOUGHTU
22:31mudkip MIMI'S TURN
22:31Ruggahissy Thougt
22:31Ruggahissy THOUGHT
22:31Mimi HOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy We got it
22:31Mimi THOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy WE GOT IT
22:31Mimi we did good
22:32Mimi we're a good team

22:46 Meeemz I love dicks, though
22:46 Meeemz er
22:46 Rugga Sig quote
22:46 NaftUm
22:46 Meeemz dicky characters
22:46 Meeemz GOD NO

19:45 BikrikiI am pretty sure we can built a bridge to jerking off

00:11 Mimi DOESN'T FOAM BREAK EASILY
00:11 Ruggahissy Not if you wrap it in duct tape
00:11 MurderWeasel There's a fiberglass core.
00:12 MurderWeasel And the foam is some special sort you buy directly from another dimension using souls as currency or something.
00:12 Ruggahissy.........

14:42 Bikriki JA! Stick it in ze boot!
14:43 Rugga I LOVE THIS KID
14:43 Bikriki adds that to list of sexual euphemisms
14:43 Skyler_Phone You have a list?
14:43 Bikriki <.<
14:43 Bikriki >.>
14:43 Bikriki No...

Victoria says:
Oh wait, I totally forgot to tell you last night because I was busy whoring
Mimi says:
STORY
OF
MY
LIFE

16:42 KamiKaze I've always wondered what using a fleshlight feels like.
16:42 KamiKaze Too bad I'm not special because God didn't give me a penis. ):

17:46 Dom LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART, NOT YOUR VAGOO

Ruggahissy this dress makes me feel like I should be having tea with the mad hatter. Not getting felt up by drunk Germans
Dom don't let them go down the rab-
Ruggahissy BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dom SO WORTH IT

09:51 Vicky We did a good job, didn't we, Meemz?
09:51 Mimi not really, no

03:19 GeneralGoose*BUT HE'S GONNA THINK IT'S A SPOON. OR MY PENIS. WHICH IT ISN'T*

23:15 Cluevara ICE CREAM MAKES YOU FAT YOU LARDY LARD BUTT.


[+] Spoiler
Jonah Heartsgrave: If you need to talk I'll listen.
Lori Martin: You're so stuck up.
Tirzah Foss: Let's have some fun.
[+] Spoiler

v6
Caleb Diamond: Silly sacrificer
Hazel Jung: Abandoned actress
v5
Amaranta Montalvo: Pageant Winner
Michelle Wexler: Vegetarian sweetheart
Paris Ardennes : Scheming holy man

v4
Ethan Kent : The smartest jerk
Sally Connelley: Dainty meanie
Nick LeMonde : Eternal optimist
Isabel Guerra: Sad little girl
Autumn O'Leary: Lonely redhead
Mary-Ann Warren: Crumbling romantic
Like
Share