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Malloon wrote:For Chloe a scene where she envisions her future in the here and now, letting us explore how her mentality works when she's letting herself be a bit more fanciful (relatively, however you decide that might actually go if at all) and imaginative. Or perhaps she is a practical planner to the end, seeing her future in dates and bullet points? I believe the sort of narrative style you should aim for would be more reserved and blunt, perhaps without much in the way of abstraction or figurative language. That is what I offer as a consideration for writing Chloe.
For Joey I'd actually like to see something similar but more overtly calculated on his end, some sort of scene where he contemplates some of his connections in some context, perhaps a project he is trying to get done, or a schedule he has where he's thinking about who he'll be meeting. The focus here besides tonal considerations (since he is a different person from Chloe, obviously, I'd love to see how you choose to differentiate the two in terms of narrative style) would also be on hashing out Joey's relationships, I'd really like to see his mentality on sorting people out and considering them in terms of what they mean to him.
For Keith hm. Perhaps draw us a scene of him fuming over some things that happened to him at school regarding people he generally disagrees with all while he's at home taking care of the family. Nasty dichotomy there to navigate which is like, the point and something, and I think the style of somewhat abstractified high-concept prose you demonstrated with Benjamin of V6 would actually be quite nice here? Maybe tweak it a little so it's a bit more raw and gritty, and I'd like some more visceral environmental details because I feel like the Rodgers home would have a lot to offer in that regard.
Aloha wrote:Perhaps writing for us a scene where you flip the PoV to be from the perspective of someone outside of Alison herself, observing Alison in a meaningful interaction, perhaps with a close family member or a student council function. The perspective would probably be better as someone who is familiar with her. Specifically this scene should explore the nature of Alison's ability to project a different outward behavior from how she thinks internally through the subtlety of detail and gentle narrative cue, as opposed to actually directly receiving the perspective from Alison's internal thoughts and mechanisms. In short a more carefully crafted piece that only indirectly shows us what is up with Alison, really, and the way others perceive her.
Dannyrulx wrote:For Elizabeth I recommend a quieter sort of scene that fits in well with her reclusive nature. Perhaps have her out taking photos of her interests in a more quiet locale and context, like nature photography or the like, or some form of stills. In this scene you will focus to some extent on environmental detail, and provide us not too much in the way of direct thoughts but rather snapshots of her emotions, her feelings moment to moment as she interacts with her surroundings, all while avoiding having conscious thought push her narrative too much. I'd especially like to see your more abstract, figurative prose in play. Make it a bit pretty and perhaps off-kilter.
For Jaime describe a scene that will see a change halfway through, not necessarily tonally but in character perspective. What I'm imagining is him having some more mundane experience like a video game or fretting over homework, then taking himself a bit of his drug of choice. Walk us through how that changes his mentality and his perception of the world around him, perhaps have a parent or sibling drop by and interact with him a bit in his state (and you could contrast it with an interaction in the prior state, a phone call with a friend or such), and no specific prose/style recommendations! Maybe play it straight to some extent, have Jaime's thoughts be neutral/ambivalent as opposed to trying to make his internal narrative particularly strong in that instance.
Cicada Days wrote: I'd especially like to see your more abstract, figurative prose in play.
? wrote:For Michael the swag could be a little scene wherein you depict Michael being surrounded by a social scene he's not in any way part of, blocking out an entire conversation about whatever topic you feel would most fit the narrative objective of the prompt, though the thing is most of this conversation will not be directly revealed to us as the readers. Instead we will be shown what is happening entirely through Michael's thoughts and judgement on the matter (AKA I would like to see his internal judgmental asshole be going for broke) which will imply what he is hearing and seeing without we the audience ever actually seeing it ourselves. Sort of a protracted internal monologue/self-dialogue.
For Valerija I recommend perhaps a scene of some sort where we will gain insight into the breadth of her values systems and principals by observing something where she must judge an edge case- something she's reading about or that is being depicted on TV- something that at least to her particular view point could be construed in a grey way that conflicts her as to what she should feel about it, as opposed to clearly defined as good or bad. Furthermore to show us another possible point of contrast in the character you've so far painted for us consider how her demeanor might change when she's witnessing this event in a place where she can feel more comfortable, by herself perhaps, or around people like family that she knows is supportive? That's perhaps more optional. At any rate I'd like to see more of your pure detail writing so focus in this scene on painting the picture via actions, and body language, weaving them in with the consciously voiced thoughts.
For Maxwell literally remake this thread but with Maxwell in it. But do write something where on some level his romantic inclination towards men is stirred up, perhaps incidentally by someone in his environment even if there is no direct interaction (how to frame the scene is ultimately entirely up to you) but again instead of directly having an internal monologue concerning his thoughts on the matter instead see how you can explore Maxwell's possible discomfort, in-congruent thoughts, however he might be reacting in even the subtlest way, by painting it into his body language and especially his dialogue and how it might subtly shift (tone, diction, whatever) and mostly because I want to hear his cussing style because thats cute AF.
Fenris wrote:ooh, so. For Dante I recommend a scene possibly having to do with the animal shelter, or maybe a close friend or a girlfriend at the time, whatever it is though I would prefer it be something that really fundamentally matters to him. The scene would be one where he has made a promise to get something important done, on a lark, but he failed to see it through and is now directly witnessing the consequences of his failure to act. Perhaps not in the form of direct reprimanding but watching as others have to scramble to fix his mistakes or as something goes wrong and people are stressed and hurt. How does his particular personality react, in the moment and as it happens, to this? I think the scene might be nice with a de-emphasis on his thoughts and more on the physical ways he reacts, perhaps painting the scene around him more than he himself so we only get hints of what he's really going through?
MAKE IVY'S AESTHETIC FOR THE YEAR RAVE GIRL So Ivy perhaps we can see a methodology of scene setting by which you split the two sides of her, her more manipulative bitchy self and her more gentle sensitive self. One specific thing I envisioned is perhaps an out on the town with wardrobe changing for the year (so we can see Ivy's thought process for that particular annual event) where she also has a close friend along (who could be player run or an NPC?) and so we get to see what sorts of narrative tricks you might use to create a split between two internal narrative voices, one where she's contemplating her own looks, the coming school year, carefully calculating her appearance and beauty so she can get away with stuff (low key have her power tripping if that makes sense); but then on the flip side she's maybe doting on her friend, helping them pick stuff out. Really paint the readers a scintillating dichotomy.
Okay, so. For Nia consider one of her impromptu therapy sessions with a friend, wherein she is helping that friend out with (topic/venting of your choice) however the thing is we as the reader do not see Nia much. Or even, at all. The entire scene's actual dialogue and general narration will be provided by the person/people around Nia with Nia herself being there but direct explanation of what she's doing being absent. Say, you could paint the scene setting by describing it and the person Nia is talking to, but don't describe Nia herself. Everything she is doing is implied by the other person and people in the scene, the things they say, how they act. They pull out two chairs but only acknowledge themselves sitting in one. Heck you could go mega troll and have Nia run through multiple parts of her day like this, with her presence and what she does only indirectly implied. Ask Not A Flying Toy and MurderWeasel for trolling advice, you'll be in good hands.
Perhaps another dichotomy more based around dialogue and the aspects of character behavior, in that we could see Axel interacting with another character, an NPC or another handler character, in two different settings. They play something like League together and are friends who duo the game or such, all while they also know each other in real life, but that's a separate sort of thing. They don't know they know each other online. So paint the difference in how Axel treats this person online and how they treat them in real life, perhaps in real life that unknown online friend is a girl they're trying to hook up with a party. Yeah, actually that'd be nice! Because then you could also juxtapose the two scenes, a quiet night in front of the computer and a loud party with loud music and rowdy kids. Some nice parallel structure to coyly link the scenes would also be cool, each scene ironically reflecting the other perhaps.
A scene for Fabian where he has to deal with his conflict avoidance very suddenly, perhaps set up like this: there's an argument in the locker room and he tries to do his usual breaking up thing, but for once someone is pissed enough that they immediately round on Fabian for trying to get involved, and stay very persistent, hostile, and belligerent. A really loud and emotional scene, yeah, with not so much in the way of long form thoughts because in terms of the pacing there might not be so much time, Fabian's adrenaline is running, he's stressed, so really try to impart that rapid fire fight-or-flight feeling onto the audience as much as it exists for Fabian in the moment, however you chose to resolve the scene.
?? wrote:For Blaise do a thingy where their impulse control issues and absent mindedness prove to be problematic during a particular game of dices or cards- even, especially, if that is normally not something that they are used to dealing with. To walk us through the scene, which can begin and end however you want, but seeing you play around with an in media res might be fun to see, I'd like to see an interesting contrast between the narrative voices you provide for us, how her internal thoughts might be extremely chaotic and cluttered perhaps, while her environment might be quite mundane and boring? I think I'd like to see you tackle it from that particular angle, sluicing between two different interesting narrative tones and styles.
For Hel you should do some pretentious ass shit with her online partner where the mystique and mystery of their identity are maintained even for us as the audience and you use a variety of media within one thread to indirectly explore their character and impact upon Hel herself. Stuff like correspondences of any sort, her having a flashback of some sort that's more abstract and emotional in content than actually describing concrete details, that sort of thing essentially. Paint their relationship without really directly going into it, I guess the aesthetic swag you could envision like I am sort of envisioning myself is like this, narrative collage of disconnected moments that build a character without actually showing that character to us. Or something like that.
Brackie wrote:So for Gaelan maybe something stupid you could do is a sort of show-and-tell expose on the origins of and some of Gaelan's after the fact thought on the massive friend squad he has assembled, specifically in terms of either NPC characters or other player handlers, what they mean to him on both sides of his demeanor, that is, how he views them through the image he's crafted for himself that he projects, and how he really truly feels even deeper down with that more sensitive aspect of himself. Sort of like, give us as readers a bit of whiplash, maybe mix up the thoughts to the point where there's less structure and it's more about his pure stream-of-consciousness as he might flip flop on a single person before jumping to another due to a random tangent. Very internal sorta dialogue, the actual location and setting can be a blank void for all I care tbh.
For Jiji you must do an extremely abstract piece where we see Jiji reflected in perhaps her art, or in a ritual practicing of her Buddhism. A 'no thoughts actually occurring in this scene' scene where the aspects of Jiji's personality are more subtly elucidated through the very small details like her smile, her laugh, her motions, how she reacts to random ass things in the scene which can be quite expansive and feel free to experiment to pretentious degrees with the flow of various aspects of Jiji's senses and how she feels and perceives the world around her while she's focused as fuck on something that brings her joy, perhaps as a means of escaping some particular stressor in her life which you will allude to but not properly spell out.
For Djuradja you should walk us through the quirks of her mental process while she's failing to put together a coherent argument, whether in the context of something more mundane like an essay or in the form of an argument with another, that's up to you. What you could seek to exclude is the actual argument that Djuradja is trying to properly make, instead show us as the audience only the flawed logic she is using and let us piece together what it is she's actually trying to say for ourselves. Really focus more on the flow of emotion and the environment and how she changes moment to moment within that environment as her frustration might mount or however you choose to have her actually react to what is happening.
For Mikki do an after-action/post-mortem from her perspective on some of the relationships she has terminated or let sour due to her high standards and bemusement with all existence, or whatever. I think it could actually be somewhat Maxim like, to be honest, but perhaps this time the narrative built around Mikki could (even if only temporarily) be more tongue in cheek and sort of prod fun at Mikki's own flaws and how she's being hypocritical, in whatever ways, while she processes what she's processing internally. Like, a sort of shifting narrative like I seem to like assigning as of late, where there's a clear and distinct difference between the aspects and style of her actual internal voice and the more neutral/troll biased narrative voice that is sort of making light of the more direct Mikki-voice as it does it's thing.
For Kayden maybe elaborate on his viewpoints from the perspective of his parents, that is, what do his two mothers think about how he's living life and what he's doing? Maybe that could be framed by a conversation they're having with him that's casual but we also see snippets of each mother's thoughts (and gain insight into them as hollistic characters as well!) and this could really be about as light-hearted or as serious as you want, either way to be honest I think the important thing here is really on Kayden sort of being viewed from an external but intimate viewpoint, that could be simultaneously really biased but also really unadulterated and provide an interesting perspective on Kayden's beliefs in contrast to whatever else we may see from his pregame/island/epilogue (?) etc.
Somer hold the sault wrote:Perhaps a piece where you run us through Keisha's day-to-day, volleyball bench, cheerleading practice, but you should give us plenty of her opinions of her classmates... sort of, like, compared and contrasted with stuff like up to date celebrity gossip news she knows, like 'oh shit that thing that girl did totally reminded me of [x]' and essentially it would be a massive ball of references and allusions, which I think would fit very well with your standard tone. Or maybe I could recommend you approach it from a more neutral, almost journalistic esque perspective where Keisha sort of doesn't really care and isn't that affected, she might be distracted by the fact that she's in a busy environment while she's thinking, so the tone might be a bit low-key and understated even while she's shitting on her classmates lives, etc.
Ok so like Kelly should do one of those 'LOOk AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH' sequences where we use a scrapbook she's made as a narrative framing device for her life or a segment of her life that could use elaboration, perhaps dealing with her loves of animals and volunteering and the people she's met while pursuing those things in tandem? Something interesting you could do here is to maybe give us very discombobulated narrative where the scenes/people the pictures depict might also get sort of intrusive flashback/PoV interludes within the major overarching narrative of Kelly's examining them. Like how it would work would be 'Kelly evaluates photo' then we see something from the perspective of someone within the photo that sheds more light on what happened within the photo, maybe even proving Kelly's memories/perspective aren't entirely reliable? Like switching character PoVs and the like, it'd be complex and maybe bloat the scene but it could be nice to see.
EDIT: Would anyone be willing to prompt my characters currently up, Beryl and Demetri?? wrote:I think Lucas could benefit from an external perspective scene, more specifically I think I'd like to see Milo's take on affairs primarily because Milo seems to have a sort of stabilizing role in Lucas' life from the few mentions we've had of him in profile, so I'd like to see more of that. Milo's thoughts would be of course the standard way to elaborate but I'd sort of like to see an indirect piece in that we could see more of Milo just as a character overall, like really flesh him out just being himself and use his quirks and activities and more infrequent direct mentions of Lucas himself to make their relationship clear. Perhaps a series of contrasted parallels like Milo's own luck with intimate relationships and his own hobbies, sort of painting a clear distinction between the two, the specter of Lucas having a different tone in Milo's narrative than Milo's own opinion of himself.
Ok so like, Max was supposedly very well read as a child and developing that intellect and political opinion, yeah. I'd like to see a scene sort of depicting either a poignant character defining moment in that stretch of time or a series of those moments, with the focus being on the tonal bits. Because well Max would still be a kid at the time, right? He's not going to have the same narrative voice he has when he's older, since he's like younger and more innocent and shit, so the thing that could be super interesting here is setting up the sorts of scenes where Max is more innocently evaluating his changing perspective and viewpoint with a youthful and fresh thought process, and there might be a sort of sinister undertone or the like. The tone would definitely be more simplistic, to harken back to your Kitty memory oneshot Midheaven I'd like to see something even more straightforward and childishly blunt and plain than that, sort of setting up a contrast between tone and the subject matter of Max's study. Maybe as time goes on then we can see how the tone shifts from his kid self to adult self, if you choose to depict that.
? wrote:So like FML low key what u should do with Cleo is that you should do some sort of visceral piece where you depict the accident that took out her leg and eye and the immediate aftermath. Stuff like her confusion and other emotions upon awakening, bits of the part where her parents and doctor and whoever have to relay the bad news. Pacing wise I would be interested in seeing it in a piecemeal style, with flashes and chunks of the events depicted in a sometimes unclear, very emotive way, with an ambiguous chronology primarily because I know you're a good enough writer to make interesting points with that sort of back-and-forth. It could possibly be a flashback narrative framing, with present Cleo having an in-character reason for musing on those past memories of hers that parallels/reflects the events of her present in some roundabout way perhaps.
You and Z should write, like, a collab piece or something. Though obviously that's optional since it's not typically a premise of the Concepts. Since he's pretty much a pure left libertarian judging by his orientation on the axis I think it'd be interesting to see the results of one of his attempts to lecture others on the validity of his views. As in, through their eyes as opposed to his own. Sort of like an after action report where we see another character, or multiples, reflecting on what Damian has told them when out of earshot. Probably fairly casual and dialogue-heavy/script structure in form? Like low key channel your inner Ruggahissy or something I dunno. Bonus points if the discussion is mostly people disagreeing with Damian's points and if the characters don't exactly have the brainpower to get Damian's rhetoric, like they miss out on some of the vocab and deeper level insights.
It would be interesting to have a fully internal monologue from Babs perspective if she has that 'small and unimportant' in the world mindset. Like a piece really delving into her demure nature. Maybe some sort of flash forward through her ordinary day where all sorts of odd and loud events and people surround and whirl about her and she sort of just sits there and takes it, perhaps with minimalist but colorful sorts of her internal thoughts and reflections that don't take over the narrative but more act as addendum to the bulk of the narrative being about her surroundings? So just some of her thoughts as the character expose moments in a mostly ambient piece of work. Play with time perception for this one too, I think it'd be fun.
I promise I'll get to you soon Aura! I already have ideas.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comic_Sans(a) wrote:For Dorothea I think an insight into her family life as a whole would be interesting, just in general, especially the influence of her grandparents. I could see something like a series of episodic briefs tied together by some common theme that has impact on Dorothea's psyche as she projects it onto her peers at school, like maybe some sort of final stinger to the whole thing that ties together the disparate episodes. Like, PoV wise I think the piece should be external to Dorothea, it should come from the angle and perspective of the characters speaking to her, her family members. Their thoughts should be what shed interesting lights onto Dorothea's character since they might be a theoretically less biased viewpoint on her, what makes her loveable, what makes her hateable, so on.
I think an interesting perspective on Ariana, though this might perhaps be a stretch, would be an incongruity between her assumed style of behavior in being not intellectually stifling/pushy against others and an episode where she accidentally does that, perhaps by being a bit too argumentative with someone who's less inclined to stand their ground. It'd be internally showing that she doesn't quite notice what's happening, the effect of her words on the other that she's running a low key debate train over them, her internal dialogue is sort of divorced here from the full effect of what she's doing. And then perhaps to wrap up the scene you could have her briefly reflect, sometime after the incident, and either have her second guess herself... or not? Either way it'd be interesting.
aura wrote:Aleksandra - Okay so outside of the team she's a quiet and wraith-like figure (as I visualize it) but what about inside the team? Good scene might be to contrast the nervous/awkwardness of her internal monologue with something far more vibrant happening on the outside of her. I could visualize the presentation taking place as 'more tone neutral description' juxtaposed with her reaction to such being far more intense, with the character-drive being 'aaa all these people all this noise' or something along those lines. So yeah that'd be a fairly good back and forth, her environment and herself, in the context of one of her basketball games or the like, perhaps with an additional segue into her place in the team dynamics when she's on the bench and the adrenaline's still running.
Tony - Maybe depict a scene from a perspective external to Tony, like perhaps a parent or a close friend, where there could be a more humorous viewpoint on the transition period where Tony is trying to better himself after his terror-tastic Freshman days. Essentially a third party perspective that would be less biased than Tony himself would be so they could offer a more interesting and off-center sort of perceptive on the awkward stumbles Tony takes while trying to shape himself up, it could be like one of those more neutral perspectives where the good comes with the bad and it's like 'well Tony's still being a bit of an ass but hey he's trying' from the viewpoint of the character we see the evolution through. It could just be a slice of a scene or maybe more an over-time evolution where we see the failures become successes and Tony evolve to his modern day iteration.
Kyle - Honestly I'd love to see you take a crack at a full mode rambling stream-of-consciousness so you can leave the rules of grammar a bit on the sidelines for this one, but I'd sort of like to see what's going through Kyle's head when he doesn't have much of anything to think about and when there's no one around to draw his talkative and helpful natures out of thin air then what is he getting up to with that more energetic character voice of his? So sort of a self-rambling scene where he's between other scenes, maybe stuck alone in school doing solo volunteer work like putting up fliers or some such. You could always offer an ending stinger too where someone shows up and we see the transition from thought process while alone to though process with someone there.
Saffron - If she's the more self-conscious sort I think it would be interesting to do a scene with a more small-scale event where she's perhaps doing something like dancing at an audience-d event but still in one of those moods where she feels like she needs to be careful or she'll draw attention to the hand. Sort of like the juxtaposition of two of her states, her professional self and her more vulnerable and internalized self, taking two angles to the scene where we get a good emotive performance from her all with the good external detail while her internal narrative meanders and has the occasional moment of panic or ten.