Fayth
Cannon Fodder
Fayth
Cannon Fodder
Joined: December 12th, 2011, 6:47 am

December 13th, 2011, 5:34 am #391

@Rugahissy

RE: Jamie; I like her too. She's probably the most normal character I've ever written, and she and I are just fine with that. :).

RE: Max; He's all talk. He's found that being a manslut is just fine in high school (encouraged, even), but actually caring about something isn't, so while he spends more time in the air than he ever has in bed, he doesn't talk about it with his peers. I currently cannot forsee a future in which he would do that to himself. He's too serious about his future to deviate much.

Also, with the name change, I figure his parents have been trying to control him for years, with little to no success. They finally settled on being happy that he's never been arrested and is on time to graduate. They think his ambitions of being in the circus are a whim/phase, and that he'll eventually switch to something else. Sadly, I think they've given up on him, but since Max is too self-centered to notice, I don't think it'll come up often if at all. I very much appreciate the discussion/concrit. :)

@Littleboy

RE: Oswaldo; Oh, the curse of having parents who name you on a whim. I think the problem I'm having with believing Oswaldo isn't his name or his parental issues, it's what people focus on when it comes to him. Most teenagers nowadays don't read for pleasure, and Salvador's books are too recent (and, no offense, 99% of fantasy is irrelevant to a high school curriculm) to be in a syllabus. I doubt more than a handful of the students in the entire school have read anything by the elder Marx, and of those, how many actually come up and talk to O about them? Not to stereotype, but I was in high school not too long ago, and the "bookish" types weren't the outgoing ones.

I think what they would instead focus on is his scars. Appearance is critically important to highschoolers, and even if he's been going to school with much the same group since kindergarten (especially then, I think), there are still going to be stares, whispers, and in the case of the more blatant bullies, outright cruel remarks on his face.
[+] Spoiler
Max Powers: He may not be the highest setting on a hairdryer, but he's well-convinced he's hotter than the surface of the sun. A closet trapeze artist, Max will try to get any girl at a three or higher (on a scale to ten) to get acquainted with his eight-pack.

Jamie O'Keefe: A down-to-earth girl from a rich family, Jamie's pretty laid-back and friendly unless blood is involved, in which case she promptly loses her lunch. She's a walking, talking medical encyclopedia, but due to her hemophobia, she'll never be able to put any of it to use.
[+] Spoiler
Kilmarnock: SHUT UP MY DICK IS REAL
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Cash Money
Leader
Joined: August 21st, 2011, 7:37 am

December 25th, 2011, 9:36 pm #392

Alright, I've revised/redone my concepts.

Randall Cimora's original writeup can be found here. I've added an overriding motivation to various aspects of him though: his experience in middle school. His middle school fed directly into a high school with one of the best football programs in the state, and his introverted nature and lack of physical aptitude left him feeling disconnected from the athletics-centered culture at school. He reacted against those with whom he couldn't blend in by growing out his hair and wearing baggy clothes, and the reason he picked tennis as his exercise of choice was because it was the least macho sport he could think of. I still need to think of a reason why he moved to Seattle.

Milo Richter has changed quite a lot; his original writeup can be found here (same post as before). He's still a short, overbearing wannabe businessman, but he's no longer quite so fidgety (though that is still there in some form). He's from a family with a lot of money, with his father in particular being an executive at a large company with its headquarters nearby.

His father has had a big influence on his life. He's a perfectionist because his father emphasized getting things "right" while forgetting to mention the value of making mistakes. He has no idea how much his family actually makes because they repeatedly tell him of their hard work and struggle while living below their means. Most importantly, he idolizes his father over his supposedly hard-won success. He isn't aware, however, that that success came more as a result of ruthless backstabbing than anything else - in an alternate lifetime, his father could have been the very image of an unrepentant 1-percenter financial fat cat, and in another alternate lifetime, his lack of empathy might have marked him as a pre-made player to the moderators of this very site.

Milo's attempts to pick up on his father's seemingly preternatural ability to wheel and deal often backfire because he just doesn't have the combination of magnetic personality and moral flexibility that's needed for his particular brand of interaction to work. He's not a charming asshole so much as he's just an asshole, and his friends are usually split evenly between fellow assholes and those who haven't found his used car salesman act grating just yet.

Leah Chapel used to be found here, but she's almost entirely different now, so that link's there mostly for historical reference. She's no longer a former rebel; rather, she is still a rebel, and a poor delinquent rebel at that. Her older sister's the favorite because she was nearly the exact opposite of Leah. Where her sister could do no wrong, Leah could hardly do any right, and she's gotten to suspecting she was an accident all along.

Since she rarely felt welcome at home, she ended up falling in with The Girls of Rainier Valley. She's involved with a lot of their activities, though she goes to great lengths to hide the evidence so she doesn't catch hell from her parents. Her clothes are accordingly as clean as she can manage, though still below par by most of society's standards. Her mom in particular disapproves highly of her friends, being a policeman's daughter.

Her low status and income have contributed to her being one of the worse students at school; her academic pursuits are token efforts to please her parents rather than truly trying to succeed, and her general outlook on life is rather pessimistic. She does harbor a bit of a fascination with glitz and glamour, but she considers it an escape that she'll never be able to touch.

Thoughts?

Also, Little, I want to see Nolan!
V5 concepts:
Randall Cimora: aspiring music producer, easygoing, space cadet, new kid
Currently blowing his Christmas money in Life is like a broken record
Leah Chapel: classic teenage rebel, sneaky, pessimistic, the un-favorite
Re-upping in LSMFT
Milo Richter: consummate professional, intellectual, debater, self-conscious
Convincing someone of what they already believe in Variables...
[+] Spoiler
Randall Leah Milo
All art by yucon
[+] Spoiler
Character concepts coming down the pipeline:
Davin Spencer loves him some classic rock and high fantasy.
Olivia Aronson could take you in a fight, but she'd rather not.
Sadie Trujillo would rather be out camping.
[unnamed] is an antiques collector in the making.
[unnamed] just wants to say hi to you!

Other sites I'm on:
The Riverside Incident / Mercy Street / Housetrapped

Sigquotes:
GameMaker: And Aaron I moan like a Swedish mule enjoying a honeyed Bavarian sugar lump
Mimi: I feel like having foreskin would be fun too, Alex. You could hide things in it. Like drugs or lipgloss.
Locobrojoe: tampons seem like they would be more dicklike
Laurels: Don't ever look for clovers in the mouth of a porpoise lantern, because the pink star trees will use their subpoena to make you deep fry stained glass windows
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GameMaker
Survivor
Joined: December 8th, 2008, 10:56 pm

January 2nd, 2012, 6:15 am #393

Alright, I'm back, and a little rusty, but eager for some commentary on my first two ideas. They're pretty long, so I spoiler tagged them.

David 'Davy' Navaski-
[+] Spoiler


Third generation Czech, second generation Brazilian. Short trimmed black hair, short coarse black beard, tan skin and wide amber eyes. His build is slim but muscular, just a bit taller than 5' 10" and weighing in at just under 160 pounds. His style doesn't exactly change too much- he wears flannels, white t-shirts and occasionally muscle shirts for a top, with jeans and the occasional gym shorts as a bottom.

He was born as a bookish child, loving reading, writing, and academics and he had a natural thirst for knowledge. Unfortunately, he was also born with a terrible stuttering problem. This pushed him even more towards books and writing and schoolwork, as he found it difficult to socialize with other kids. Between the ages of 7 and 11, he began to find solace in food, putting on as many pounds as he could. His only real friend during this phase was his speech therapist that he started seeing when he was 8, as he avoided most conversations as he was nervous and shy because of his stuttering problem. The few kids that did talk to him, meanwhile, did it mostly as a chance to pick on or take advantage of the shy, stuttering fat kid.

When he was 11, after his speech therapist and parents began to notice him dealing with problems of depression and social anxiety, his mother recommended Brazilian Jiu Jitsu to him as a confidence builder. His speech therapist, on the other hand, recommended guitar playing, as he knew a child who could not express himself as he wanted to verbally could perhaps do it musically. The guitar playing helped, giving him another hobby, but the BJJ was what changed his life. He took to it immediately, forcing himself to do the training and conditioning as he saw it as a way for him to fight back against the kids that picked him on. It worked, for both him and his parents, in a sense. He loved it, and it helped him to become more confident, and even though he got in quite a few fights when he was 12 and 13, in the end the kids that had picked on him learned to go after easier targets. He fought, and he shedded pounds even quicker than he had put them on, and soon the entire school had labeled him as one of the bad kids.

He was the type of kid, and still is, that people have learned to avoid. He almost barely talks at school, avoiding as much as he can what he considers this embarrassment of his stutter, and his appearance does not suggest his grades or interests at all. Most people see him and see an angry loner that doesn't like other people. He tells other people this, and most of the time, he even tells himself this. But he knows that it is a lie. He likes other people, and desperately wants friends. He is afraid that he will be able to communicate with them, or that they will pick on him like they did in the past. This is not a lie, like him not liking people, but it is only half of the truth and he knows it. His real fear is that he will be able to communicate with someone, and show them his true side, and that they will reject him.
Oskar Heinrich-
[+] Spoiler

German and Dutch, Oskar is an 18 year old that still has a chubby, boyish face. His whole body is chubby, him about as tall as 5'9" and tipping the scale at a little over 185. He's not obese or anything, and he knows that, but he's what older people would call 'husky'. He wears nice dress shirts most of the time, switching up his look occasionally with band T-shirts. Jeans, corduroys, and khakis are his preferred bottoms, as well as loafers and moccasins. He has mid length blonde hair, combed over neatly every morning, and wide blue eyes.

Oskar's smart, and he knows it. It's one of his few innate strengths, as he was cursed with a body type that punishes him no matter what he eats and a complete and utter lack of athletic ability. To compensate for it socially, Oskar worked on his jokes, and his humor. From even a young age the popular crowd liked him, for he was the class clown. He could make anyone laugh, and he was always a fun guy to be around. Now, he's one of the partying crew, friends with many of the popular kids and a popular guy himself. If you ask someone about Oskar, most of the time you'd be greeted with a smile or a chuckle.

Oskar plays a careful balancing act between his grades and his social time, and manages to be pretty successful in both. He gets straight A's in school, and still finds time to both party when he wants to and enjoy the latest video game. He has even hooked up with a few girls at his school, and recently had a break up with his long time girlfriend. (Looking for someone who fits a role here... a nice, popular, cute but not too pretty girl) On the outside, aside from a slight weight problem, he appears to have it all, a great social life and great academics.

But on the inside, Oskar struggles with depression, mood swings, and feelings of a lack of self worth. He doesn't understand how people in the school manage to get better grades than him, and he hates the fact that he was born with a bad metabolism and no athleticism. He harbors a grudge against both skinny people and athletes, meaning that he secretly has a small dislike of many of the popular crew. These feelings help to exaggerate his own insecure feelings, as he feels like they dislike him back, some of the time in his darker moods. In his darker moods, he has mental dreams of them making fun of him behind his back, talking about that fatass who had the balls to think he was one of the popular crew.

He also exaggerates his own problems with weight and other flaws, thinking that he is bordering on obese, despite being only slightly chubby. This also correlates with his own feelings of inadequacy any time he does bad on a test/assignment or says a stupid remark, punishing himself mentally for his own perceived stupidity. His insecurity also, in his bad moods, makes him think worse of the pretty popular girls he hangs out with. In his bad moods he believes that when they laugh and talk to him and hug him, which they do to be friendly, they are actually doing it to tease him. He believes that they are thinking "You want this, don't you, but you can't have it. You're not good enough for me." Sometimes in his worst moods he even believes that his ex-girlfriend secretly hated him the whole time.
All in the game, yo... All in the game.- Omar Little, The Wire

V4:
J.J. Sturn- "I'm not a bad person. I'm not a bad person."
Mike Jeffries- "Don't worry, guys. Everything's going to be just fine."
Omar Burton- "I must say, I'm beginning to realize that I'm the only smart person in the room."
Kaitlin Anderheim- "I've never even talked to a guy before..."

DEAD THEY'RE ALL DEAD
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CCH098
Cannon Fodder
CCH098
Cannon Fodder
Joined: January 2nd, 2012, 5:59 pm

January 3rd, 2012, 11:31 am #394

Ok this is my first idea for a character so I hope you all like it

Rose Coburn

She is English-French and is 18 years old. She has long brown hair which flows down her back and is usually tied back in a ponytail, pale white skin and amber eyes. Her height is 5'4 and weighs 120 pounds. She usually wears a pink or white polo shirt, denim skirts and a variety of different coloured tights.

She was born into a very wealthy family and her parents were very protective of her.Despite this she does know how dangerous the world can be.She was also born partially deaf in her left ear thus meaning that she had to wear a hearing aid in that ear. Her parents were also very pushy so she often got As in all subjects which is one of the reasons she gets bullied. She also got bullied because of her height, the fact that her parents are very protective over her, that she is deaf among other things.. But as this has been happening most her life she has got used to it and now they don't bother her and she doesn't respond to their insults.

She is very socially awkward because of the bullying and most of her classmates hate her and are jealous of her but she did find refuge in a student teacher and the two still keep in touch which gave Rose a massive boost of confidence making her a more gentle and forgiving person. When her parents noticed their daughter being down all the time before the student arrived they gave her a violin to play so she could truly express herself and ever since she has had a natural flare for the instrument.

One day Rose hopes to become a heart surgeon therefore she studies human anatomy a lot of her free time as well as trying to make new friends but most people just see her as a daddy's girl and a geek but she does try to not let this get to her although it does still sometimes bring her down. Also because she is socially awkward she can easily get on the wrong side of people although she tries her hardest not to let this happen.




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MK Kilmarnock
Mr. Danya
Joined: April 14th, 2009, 10:12 pm

January 3rd, 2012, 9:50 pm #395

Hey there! I usually avoid this thread because I want to keep my mind clear for submissions (the same philosophy at least one other staff member subscribes to), but I decided to stop in when I saw the new guy!

So, I took a peek at your character idea and I think you've got something of a good start. Physical appearance, the Septicemia, interests and social awkwardness are just fine. I do question why she'd be bullied about her height when 5'5" is just an inch or two shorter than the general female average, though, which leads me to my piece of advice.

As I've said before, I like where this could be headed with a smart, sociall awkward and pressured-to-achieve student. You have to be careful, though, with how you expect them to be received. You say most people hate her, which... while it is marginally better than saying everybody hates her, is still a bit too much external control. Focus more on Rose herself, and let others decide whether or not they like her.

If you were to ask me, I'd say plenty of the students at Aurora High would love Rose. However, since bullying and the overcoming of such seems to be like a huge part of her character, some of us would be more than happy to supply a bully or two.

Check out the relationship threads for that, and welcome to SotF! We'll meet in the chat, I'm sure.
[+] Spoiler
Jerry Fury - The man, the myth, the legend
Coleen Reagan - The girl who half-loved the world
[+] Spoiler
V5 Roster:
Cody Patton : That bitch.
Sean Mulcahy : The world was kind to reprieve him of his fear...
Jessica Sanders: She hoped it would be quick...
[+] Spoiler
20:17Sideliner:Toben and Ricky are like a sibling version of the Joker and Batman, only Batman is just as much of a mass murderer. He just hides it better.
19:58LaurelsHow does your dick smell like Fritos?
14:36 MimiI THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE FRIENDS > 14:36MimiI THOUGHT YOU REALLY LICKED HER
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Crash
Winner
Joined: February 12th, 2008, 5:15 am

January 3rd, 2012, 10:49 pm #396

Er, speaking as a nursing student, I'm gonna have to disagree on the septicemia thing. Septicemia is a term that has been used very loosely in the past, but in essence, you're talking about blood-borne pathogens. It's sometimes also used to refer to a "weaker" (relatively speaking) version of sepsis - a blood infection. However, the problem in that lies in the fact that septicemia is not a chronic condition - either it would have developed into sepsis and killed her when she was young, or she would have gotten over it and it would have went away. It wouldn't plague her for the majority of her life.

It's being used incorrectly here - but I'm not sure whether you meant that or another medical condition and you got the names confused.

Either way, don't give up - keep trying and making edits and we'll help you along as you go!
v4 Characters:

G23: Claire Lambert: Property of the Fabulous Mr. Toben

v3 Characters:

B65: Dorian Ibanescu: Coastline

Deceased:

B57 - Jeff Marontate: Cleaved
B120: Jim Middleton: Pummeled
G61: Anna Grout: Submitted
G62: Andrea Vanlandingham: Martyred
G39 Alexis Machina: Crushed
G23: Trish McCarroll: Defeated


natlei was sleeping in her bed when someone came thru her window "get away rapist" she said still half asleep and hit one of them in the head with her liucky frying pan then went back tyo bed them men the injected her with a sedative and carried her off
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MK Kilmarnock
Mr. Danya
Joined: April 14th, 2009, 10:12 pm

January 3rd, 2012, 11:47 pm #397

Oh, Aaron. Right you are, but it turns out BOTH of us have been... pre-empted. The revised version hasn't been posted yet but apparently both the disease and some of the bullying is being dropped.
[+] Spoiler
Jerry Fury - The man, the myth, the legend
Coleen Reagan - The girl who half-loved the world
[+] Spoiler
V5 Roster:
Cody Patton : That bitch.
Sean Mulcahy : The world was kind to reprieve him of his fear...
Jessica Sanders: She hoped it would be quick...
[+] Spoiler
20:17Sideliner:Toben and Ricky are like a sibling version of the Joker and Batman, only Batman is just as much of a mass murderer. He just hides it better.
19:58LaurelsHow does your dick smell like Fritos?
14:36 MimiI THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE FRIENDS > 14:36MimiI THOUGHT YOU REALLY LICKED HER
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CCH098
Cannon Fodder
CCH098
Cannon Fodder
Joined: January 2nd, 2012, 5:59 pm

January 4th, 2012, 4:41 pm #398

thanks you two for all your suggestions I know I made a big mistake there so I cleared it more editing on the way soon and any more suggestions will be very helpful thanks again.
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GameMaker
Survivor
Joined: December 8th, 2008, 10:56 pm

January 5th, 2012, 3:05 am #399

Alright, the last of GameMaker's trio... again, any comments or criticisms are much appreciated. Also, again, description is under spoiler.

MEGAN COLLINS:

[+] Spoiler
Name: Megan Collins
Age: 18
Ethnicity: 100% Irish
Height: 5’7”
Weight: 136
Appearance: She has spiky, cropped short red hair, and bright wide green eyes. She has a face that is able to appear both cute and seductive at the same time, with a cute button nose and sultry red lips. She has long legs, and an athletic build. Her extra weight goes to the right places, and she enjoys showing off her ‘assets’ with low cut cleavage shirts and tight spandex or skirts. She’s not a model in terms of looks, but she’s enough to get a double take from almost any guy, and when she really wants to turn her sex appeal on she can.

Biography: Megan was born in Seattle in a home that, it appeared to her, her parents had simply tried to fit all of Ireland in. Instead of football, baseball, and basketball, soccer and rugby were the sports of choice; St. Patrick’s Day, Christmas, and Easter were the biggest holidays for the Irish Catholic family, in that order. Megan grew up with two older brothers and two younger brothers, neither the older nor the younger more than two years apart from Megan. In so far as their political views went, all Megan remembered was them condemning the current president, governor, or mayor as a “stupid prick” or “fucking dumbass”. It was the Collins’s view that if you went through life just obeying every rule, you were either a coward or a fool. And the Collins definitely didn’t raise either.

Megan, growing up, took tomboy to a whole different level. She hit her growth spurt early, being tall even for a girl, and she had an aggressiveness that always made her father smile when he’d see her playing with her brothers. Even her older brothers were afraid to play her in rugby. When they got the ball, she’d jump on their back and no matter how hard they ran or how much they tried to get her off of them, she wouldn’t relax until she had gotten them down. At the end of the day, if there wasn’t dirt stains all over her pants, sweat on her shirt and face, and a few bruises and scrapes on her arms and legs, Megan wasn’t happy.

Megan started playing soccer when she was in 2nd grade, and quickly took to it. She was a natural athlete, and her size and aggressive style of play allowed her to overpower the other girls and become a star at that sport. She loved playing it, and more than that, she loved the sense of being on a team. She was a people person, and she loved talking to people and socializing with them. She loved the sense of companionship.

But as she got older, her personality began to develop more and more. She was an abrasive girl, not because she was a bully or even really mean, but because when she had an opinion about something, she’d let people know. She wasn’t the type to agree with someone just to shut them up, and if she believed strongly in something, she’d make sure people knew it. She also cursed like a sailor that just stubbed his toe for the third time that day, which was a little hard for some people to get along with.

She matured early, and with her physical maturity came an interest in boys. She had feelings for them for an early age, and even early on she knew she wasn’t like other girls. She didn’t feel like she needed a boyfriend; she just wanted the guys, not necessarily a boyfriend. Does she want to have a boyfriend? Yes, of course she does, but she’s not going to settle for the first guy that comes along. She wants a guy that likes her, that she likes, that understands her. Someone that loves her for every part of her, and someone that she can love back. She hasn’t found anyone like that yet.

But, just because she didn’t want the guys that talked to her as boyfriends didn’t mean she couldn’t have “a little fun”. As a younger girl, she was the one who always suggested ‘Spin The Bottle’ or ‘Seven Minutes In Heaven’. As a teenager, she was one of the first in her grade to lose her virginity. Whenever she’s thinking about a guy, she keeps in mind her three cardinal rules- 1. He has to be cute, 2. He has to be funny, and 3. He has to be a good guy. If a guy meets her standards, and she wants him, she sees no reason not to go for what she wants.

And if you say one thing about Megan, you can say she’s a partier. She was just as competitive with her brothers when it came to partying as she was with rugby when they were younger, and by 15, she was able to drink them all under the table. Quite an impressive feat, considering her oldest brother was 6’4, 255, and had been drinking since he was 12. She drank beer, she drank whiskey, she drank wine, she drank vodka... she’d drink motor oil if it’d get her drunk. Some of the best moments of her life were hanging out with her friends, getting smashed in their basements, making jokes and making out.

Megan isn’t a straight A student, but she gets Bs and she’s happy with it. She’s not school smart, and she hates studying… if she looks at a textbook for too long, she’ll get a headache. But she’s not stupid, not by any means. She’s smart when it comes to everything out of school. She knows how to get out of bad situations, and she knows how to defuse them when they get out of control. She knows how to make sure her sex is safe, and she knows how to avoid a bad guy. Just to make sure, as she goes to college parties, parties in other parts of the town, and basically does put herself in situations where things could get out of hand, she attended rape prevention classes with her mother, and carries a rape whistle with her at all times.

The rape prevention classes were simple tactics and techniques, and a lot of it was common sense, but it left her feeling more reassured. She knew where to hit a guy to stop him- other than the obvious location of testicles- and she knew the things to say to get people to notice what was happening. Luckily, she’s never have to put any of it into practice. It almost happened once, with a guy who was getting a little touchy feely and couldn’t take a hint, but Megan had gotten out of that one before things had escalated.

Megan is a girl, ultimately, who just wants to enjoy life. Whether it’s playing on the soccer team, listening to some music, hanging out with a guy, or just partying it up with her friends, she just wants to enjoy life. There’s people who dislike her, and there’s plenty of girls who talk down about her. But as far as she’s concerned, they can go fuck themselves.
All in the game, yo... All in the game.- Omar Little, The Wire

V4:
J.J. Sturn- "I'm not a bad person. I'm not a bad person."
Mike Jeffries- "Don't worry, guys. Everything's going to be just fine."
Omar Burton- "I must say, I'm beginning to realize that I'm the only smart person in the room."
Kaitlin Anderheim- "I've never even talked to a guy before..."

DEAD THEY'RE ALL DEAD
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CCH098
Cannon Fodder
CCH098
Cannon Fodder
Joined: January 2nd, 2012, 5:59 pm

January 6th, 2012, 7:38 pm #400

Ok here is V2 of Rose as usual any feedback or comments would be very much appreciated.


She is English-French and is 18 years old. She has long brown hair which flows down her back and is usually tied back in a ponytail, pale white skin and amber eyes. Her height is 5'4 and weighs 120 pounds. She usually wears a pink or white polo shirt, denim skirts and a variety of different coloured tights.

She was born into a very wealthy family and her parents were very protective of her.Despite this she does know how dangerous the world can be.She was also born partially deaf in her left ear thus meaning that she had to wear a hearing aid in that ear. Her parents were also very pushy so she often got As in all subjects which is one of the reasons she gets bullied. She also got bullied because of her height, the fact that her parents are very protective over her, that she is deaf among other things.. But as this has been happening most her life she has got used to it and now they don't bother her and she doesn't respond to their insults.

She is very socially awkward because of the bullying and most of her classmates hate her and are jealous of her but she did find refuge in a student teacher and the two still keep in touch which gave Rose a massive boost of confidence making her a more gentle and forgiving person. When her parents noticed their daughter being down all the time before the student arrived they gave her a violin to play so she could truly express herself and ever since she has had a natural flare for the instrument.

One day Rose hopes to become a heart surgeon therefore she studies human anatomy a lot of her free time as well as trying to make new friends but most people just see her as a daddy's girl and a geek but she does try to not let this get to her although it does still sometimes bring her down. Also because she is socially awkward she can easily get on the wrong side of people although she tries her hardest not to let this happen.
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Laurels
Mr. Danya
Joined: October 4th, 2011, 4:36 pm

January 6th, 2012, 8:45 pm #401

Few thoughts on Rose:

1. Why would she be bullied for being only 5'4"? That's a fairly average height (I'm only 5'5"). If she is to be bullied, I'd say make her shorter, like between 4'7" and 5'2". If not, I'd say not make her height an issue.
2. Rose has a few similarities to one of my concepts, Rachael Langdon. They both sound similar in appearance, but I like the sort of contrast between them. Rose wears more revealing clothing while Rachael hides her body with clothes, Rose has gold eyes while Rachael has green, they both have long brown hair, although Rachael's goes past her waist and is tied in a braid, and are both a bit socially awkward, although Rose sounds a bit more outgoing than Rachael. They sound like girls who could be casual acquaintances or possibly friends.

Nice start, look forward to seeing what else you got.


[+] Spoiler
Nadia Riva
"You don't think I'm pretty enough to be a model? And you're telling me while wearing that face?"


Noah Whitley
"You look like you could use a laugh, and I have just the joke for that."


Alba Reyes
"Woo hoo! Three holes in one! That's a new record!"
[+] Spoiler
Girl #007-Rachael Langdon
"I really am going to die, aren't I? Oh god, what am I going to do?"


Armed with a Solar Powered Scientific Calculator
Stabbed with a sword by Marcus Leung.
Girl #018-Claire Monaghan
"You know, I always thought I'd be seen by millions. Fuck Murphy's Law."


Armed with a Shotgun Flashlight (1 Bullet) and a bulletproof vest

Girl #035-Sophie McDowell
"People often find inspiration in the darkest times. I guess I can too."
Killed by a grenade thrown by Summer Simms

Armed with a lead pipe.
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[+] Spoiler

19:10 Laurelena: When octopi eat hamsters, the resulting laughter is a mix of colorful idiocy and dainty ice skating

18:10 Mimi: "how many nipples does Miss Piggy REALLY have?"

16:57 Mimi play Fergaliscious
16:58 Mimi IF YOU EVER WANT FANS
16:58 Mimi YOU NEED FERALISCIOUS
16:58 Mimi FERGALISCIOUS
16:58 Mimi Omg
16:58 Mimi feral-liscious
16:58 Mimi that's
16:58 Mimi blowing my mind

16:57 KamiKaze Laurie, if you ever become a mod, let it be known that one day you will critique someone's profile who had a girl killing her family friend because he raped her, and the person will insult you by calling you a talking Oshawott doll.

21:42Acidic i AM ANAL WART MAN

00:19Delroy.... I HAVE AN IMAGE OF HANSEL FUCKING TRAVIS WITH A CHAINSAW STUCK IN MY HEAD. HOW IS THIS IN ANY WAY GOOD!?


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[+] Spoiler

Rachael Langdon
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Rachael Langdon and Claire Monaghan
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Rachael Langdon


Claire Monaghan
[+] Spoiler

Claire Monaghan
[+] Spoiler




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Crash
Winner
Joined: February 12th, 2008, 5:15 am

January 6th, 2012, 9:05 pm #402

I agree with Laurelena about the height thing (but leave the character pimping for the friends thread, please!), as 5'4" is a really normal height for a girl. Having said that, I'm curious about the line "most of her classmates hate her and are jealous of her". It seems as though that's a big assumption to make just for a girl who gets good grades and is partially deaf. Unless she's a total bitch to people, why would they "hate" her?

It's a definite improvement on the last version! Still got a little ways to go.
v4 Characters:

G23: Claire Lambert: Property of the Fabulous Mr. Toben

v3 Characters:

B65: Dorian Ibanescu: Coastline

Deceased:

B57 - Jeff Marontate: Cleaved
B120: Jim Middleton: Pummeled
G61: Anna Grout: Submitted
G62: Andrea Vanlandingham: Martyred
G39 Alexis Machina: Crushed
G23: Trish McCarroll: Defeated


natlei was sleeping in her bed when someone came thru her window "get away rapist" she said still half asleep and hit one of them in the head with her liucky frying pan then went back tyo bed them men the injected her with a sedative and carried her off
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CCH098
Cannon Fodder
CCH098
Cannon Fodder
Joined: January 2nd, 2012, 5:59 pm

January 6th, 2012, 9:10 pm #403

ok thanks for the feedback I will edit that bit and a few more little tweaks then I should nearly be there so thanks again
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Frozen Smoke
Leader
Joined: November 30th, 2010, 4:25 pm

January 8th, 2012, 6:05 pm #404

Rightyho peoples, I have decided to change, merge and generally screw around with alot of the ideas that I did have rolling around, to make a new character, who feels a lot more realistic, and I hope will generally a lot of fun to write!

Meet James "Jimmy" Johnson.
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He is, if you judged him from his appearance, fairly average. He isn't particularly fat or thin, he isn't tall, nor is he really that short. He isn't handsome, nor is he ugly. He dresses fairly conservatively, preferring comfort over style most of the time, although he isn't afraid to throw around brands. In fact, there would, at first glance be very difficult to tell him from the majority of people in the school, except for his nigh permanent, infectious and exuberant smile.

However, if you spent a few minutes talking to him, or more likely, him talking at you, a rather distinct impression would be left upon you, and that is that of a kid who is very excited about everything, and knows far too much about nothing important. His manner of speaking is very rapid, almost frantic, but somehow not rushed, as though he is trying to cram as many words into as short a space as possible, for the reason that he, well, can.

He is very knowledgeable about the facets of everyday technology, especially computers, though he tends to put this to more of a creative use than most, using it to do special effects, or foray into photoshopping and the like, rather than programming. This translates to him having demonstrations of these effects, and tutorials of how they're done on a YouTube channel, which sucks up his spare time like a black hole, despite it not being the most popular of channels (With only one of his videos having broken the 2,000 barrier).

This general geekiness, combined with his general amicability towards most people and willingness to help people, has made him a go to guy if you have computer problems, rather than associating with the more awkward or arrogant "computer guys" in the school. He also tends to be one of the first people to figure out what the schools new wireless passwords, or find the unblocked proxies so that people can screw around to their hearts content in computer lessons.

In order to explain this, people have formulated the most over the top stories about his skills with computers, claiming that he has a keylogger on the IT department, or that he is secretly part of Team P0is0n, or Anonymous, or whatever hacking group is reaching headlines that week. In response to this, he generally tends to laugh it off, or reply neither to the positive or negative, just to mess with people. This is taken by alot of people to be an admission of truth, and is taken as sheer fact by some of the more gullible members of the school.

He finds this hillarious
Well, thats all I've thought about for now, but I'd really like some feedback if anyone feels up to wading through it!

Oh, and I plan on expanding on his past and personality a lot more before pregame!
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Relationship Thread!

Faith Clementine Marshal-Mackenzie
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Memories: Making old enemies
Present Day: Making new friends - Playing childish games
Oneshots: Tidying up - Coming home
Parker Green
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Memories: Cheaters never prosper - Except when they do
Present Day: Getting informed - Playing nice - Keeping up appearances
Oneshots: Preparing for battle
Criticism or thoughts on my writing are welcome and appreciated - always looking to improve! Feel free to poke me on Discord or via PM.
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KamiKaze
Winner
Joined: July 27th, 2009, 7:44 pm

April 1st, 2012, 7:01 am #405

On second thought, I have decided not to put Alex Ripley, Lana Torres, and Miranda Millers into v5. I will be continuing to pre-game with them, however, I have decided to replace them with three completely different concepts for v5 itself. I will shortly write up their profiles.

These three concepts are much more interesting, much more well-developed, and much more interesting to write on the island. As I said, I will continue to pre-game with the current three, mostly to not interfere with prior planning, but they will not appear in v5.

Who are these three new concepts? Well...

Alicia Gordon

A cynical young woman. The reason why she's so cynical was because of a tragedy in her youth. You see, a friend of the family had repeatedly sexually abused her. When she found out he had killed 1000000 girls before, she was worried he was going to kill her next. So she brought out a chainsaw and sliced him in half. It was ruled as self-defense, because she's twelve and she can't kill people with a chainsaw at that age. To this day, she spends most of her time sitting on the street corner, smoking. She likes piano and My Little Pony. The latter makes her cry because she doesn't have any friends.

She is perfectly prepared for the island because she is the biggest murderer who has ever murdered. However, she has a perfectly good target on her back because she's such a bitch.

As a result, she needs enemies. Loads of them.


Denny Bauer

He also has a messed up childhood. After his mother's death, his father became a paranoid alcoholic who was convinced that in 2012, the world was going to be invaded by aliens. So he taught his son all sorts of survival tactics, such as knife-fighting against a dog, places where you can break an arm, shooting down alien spaceships with just a NERF gun, and so on. The kid, thoroughly messed up by this ordeal, decided that it sucked to lose and started making fights in the halls at seven. His music teacher was the only one who cared, and kindly asked him to stop beating the kids to a pulp. His dad was all "Stupid music teacher", and tried to kill him, tripping on his knife because of an ill-placed rubber ducky which made him stab himself in the chest. Denny now has serious DID and has two different selves; of his self raised by his former music teacher, and his self raised by his deceased father. He hates anime and other geeky things because that's the way to making a good character in v5.

He needs friends. Maybe a few enemies.


Felicia Roux

She was a nice girl, up until she saw an orgy for the first time. At first she was horrified, then she was aroused and happily joined it because her friend asked her to. Since then, she has been a raging nymphomaniac. Every weekend, she goes off to party, get drunk, and get laid, with no repercussions, because she is a boss. Felicia has big boobs, the largest in school in fact, and she's thus one of the prettiest girls at school. She is notorious for being a major slut, and she has fucked almost all of the senior guys. Yes, even if you don't think your dude has slept with her, he has, he just won't admit it. Oh, and girls? You are not safe either. For she is bisexual, because that is how promiscuity works. Don't question it.

What she needs is people to sleep with.


So yeah. I will be uploading their profiles soon enough. They are much better than that geek Alex, that furry Lana, or that drama queen Miranda. You agree, trust me.
RICHARDS/BAINES OTP!

Coming to a V7 near you.
Bree Jones- "I'm not exaggerating when I say that my fish are smarter."
Roxanne "Roxie" Borowski- "Next video? Oh man, tons of ideas, dude. Lemme get the makeup for that."
[+] Spoiler
In Loving Memory Of Those Killed In The 2008 SOTF
Carol Burke- Female Student #015- A good friend.
Remy Kim- Male Student #080- Yet another victim of the system.
Aileen Borden- Female Student #022- It's going to be okay.

In Loving Memory Of Those Killed In The 2012 SOTF
Alexandria "Alex" Ripley- Female Student #002- Sometimes your life is meant to be a warning to others.
Lana Torres- Female Student #039- Technically, she died happy.
Miranda Millers- Female Student #019- Doomed by self-fulfilling prophecy.

In Loving Memory of Those Killed in the 2015 SOTF
Jennifer Wallace- Female Student #055- Good night, and good luck.
Junko Kurosawa- Female Student #041- Experienced a thrill to die for.
Emma Luz- Female Student #022- Sweet dreams.

....?
Anna Chase- Female Student #010- And then she lived happily ever after.
[+] Spoiler
For v6, I have come to a decision. To help lessen character pimping, I have vowed not to talk about my characters, any characters closely related to mine, or any threads I've been involved in, in any of the following places:

- Chat
- General Discussion thread
- TV Tropes
- Random Thoughts
-Skype
- Anything else I missed

I am not allowing myself to talk about anything relating to my characters or scenes I'm in unless they are brought up in conversation by another handler. I am not allowed to use my characters' names OOC or mention anything relating to that character until another handler mentions them. This is not currently in effect for pre-game; these self-imposed rules do not apply until v6 starts. However, they will be in effect the second v6 is announced. When one of my characters die, escape, or are otherwise removed from the game, these rules are lifted for that character, and I am free to talk about that character as much as I want. However, the others will have to wait until they too are out of the game.

This is a personal promise I'm keeping to myself for v6. If I break it, please feel free to bitch me out.

-KamiKaze

Addendum as of v6: I may ask for critiques while a character's arc is ongoing, as long as someone has offered to do so.
Let's show that private threads aren't necessary! I pledge not to start any private threads on island in V6. If I started a thread, you are welcome to join it.
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