decoy73
Winner
Joined: November 29th, 2009, 3:46 am

December 7th, 2011, 10:45 pm #376

Hey, RadicalD. Looking over your profile, there's some good points and some improvements that need to be made. The good thing is that the appearance and hobbies and interests are nice and detailed (although you do not need to write the hobbies and interests in complete sentences), and I can get a decent idea of what he would be doing pre-game.

On the other hand, the biography needs some meat to it. The two questions I would like to see answered are "How did Charlie spend his childhood?" and "How did he pick up his interests?" The other problem is that Charlie seems to have some of the markers leaning towards that of a "pre-made player," someone who would have very little problem playing the game from the start - the big ones are that he quickly cuts ties with those who bother him, his coldness, and his ability to lie. Also, his smattering of general knowledge and source of his breathing problems should be mentioned in the biography.

Good to see some ideas coming around, and I can't wait to see Charlie develop.
Female #16: Jaime Schanbacher; Status: ACTIVE 0
Female #42: Sabrina Luz; Status: ACTIVE 0

[+] Spoiler
Male #9 - Zubin Wadia; Status: ACTIVE, "... and for those three reasons, good fences make good neighbors."(-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10)
Female #32 - Katarin "Kat" Tolstoff; Status: #70 ELIMINATED, "How's Miles? He must really be in a lot of pain right now."(-2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5)
Male #53 - Michael Whaley - Status: #9 ELIMINATED; "Just ... wanted ...help." (-1 0 1)
[+] Spoiler
Male #16 - Jason Clarke; Status: #111 ELIMINATED, Final Location: Instinct - "Bollocks ..."
Male #28 - James "Jimmy" Robertson; Status: #97 ELIMINATED, Final Location: Darken Your Clothes and Strike a Violent Pose - "Stay strong ..."
Male #41 - Simon Telamon; Status: #213 RESCUED, Final Location: A Slight Change of Plans - ??? ?????????, ? ?????????, ? ???? ??? ???????? ?????, ? ????, ?? ????? ??? ????????? ???????? ???????, ??? ?????? ?????. ?? ?????????? ?? ??????? ????? ??? ?? ????.
Female #31 - Charlene Norris; Status: #189 ELIMINATED, Final Location: Everyday is like Sunday - ""You're my ... BFF. You ... were the best ..."
Female #50 - Tiffany Chanders; Status: #161 ELIMINATED, Final Location: Legoland Empire - What is she going to do with that now? It's not like (Adopted from selphie_trabia)
[+] Spoiler
Survivor: The Cursed Islands

Gandhi Tribe

Female #17: Jaquilyn Locke WINNER
Female #9: Cassidy Kant SECOND PLACE
Female #16: Venice Pennington-Johannes THIRD PLACE
Male #9: Zubin Wadia JURY MEMBER #10
Male #14: Joachim Lovelace JURY MEMBER #9
Male #4: Owen Kay JURY MEMBER #8
Female #57: Cammy Davidson JURY MEMBER #7
Female #39:Lana Torres JURY MEMBER #6
Female #12: Cassandra Black JURY MEMBER #5
Male #29: Matt Masters JURY MEMBER #4
Female #32: Kat Tolstoff JURY MEMBER #3
Male #41: Virgil Jefferson-Davis JURY MEMBER #2
Male #32: Rutherford ?R.J.? Roger JURY MEMBER #1

Gwe Tribe
Douglas MacAllister #3 MEDEVACED
Male #59: David Zimmer #8 ELIMINATED
Male #24: Francis St. Ledger #9 ELIMINATED

Shak-Ti Tribe
Female #44: Sharon Austin #5 ELIMINATED
Female #18: Claire Monaghan #7 ELIMINATED

Varna Tribe
Female #19: Miranda Millers #6 ELIMINATED
Female #64: Alice Gilman #4 ELIMINATED

Brahman Tribe
Jake Mordetsky #1 ELIMINATED
Mass Effect Mafia - PLAY AND WIN

SOTF Survivor 2 - PLAY AND WIN
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RadicalD
Cannon Fodder
RadicalD
Cannon Fodder
Joined: December 6th, 2011, 10:51 pm

December 8th, 2011, 2:15 am #377

Thanks for the opinion, decoy, I did write him hastily or rather finish it that way, something came out and had to leave. On the other hand, I'll try to answer both questions as soon as I edit him, which should be within this hour. Now that you mention it, quickly cuts ties with someone who bothers him was my bad, should have mention that he has a limit, a high one, but once you cross it, he just doesn't care if you had a excuse or something, I will also try to detail that in the background, alongside the breathing problem and general knowledge.
"You are so na?ve"
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teamsleep
Survivor
Joined: June 7th, 2011, 9:17 pm

December 11th, 2011, 6:10 pm #378

I've been kicking around an idea that I feel like may be too close to a "premade killer" and I'd like to peruse the advice of someone who's been around the block in character creation before.

I've watched/read too much Brett Easton Ellis, and as I speak I have American Psycho open in the other window. This combination has made me think about the idea of a girl named Katherine Florian, an upper middle class yuppie-to-be that believes in a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine and probably too many repeated handwashes over an hour's time. She lives with her middle-aged mother and dog in a $715,000 houseboat on Fairview Avenue. She has an older brother currently at Harvard Business school in Boston, Massachusetts. She's a member of the Cross Country/Track and Field team (whichever actually exists) and is currently a junior attending a high school in Seattle that may or may not inevitably have terrible, terrible things happen to it.

At first glance Katherine is a typical, if not rather OCD, shallow girl with little redeeming qualities, but nothing to immediately suggest she's some sort of HUGE BITCH BLUH BLUH, either.

She is also completely and utterly losing her mask of sanity. This is something that scares her, but she is simply not entirely there. Les Misérables, to her, was a laugh riot, and she doesn't even know why. She'll see other girls in the halls and she'll smile and wave, but it's out of reflex. She is very worried that something horrible is happening inside of her (and this isn't referring to her periods). The only thing keeping her from going full Kuudere (minus the whole actually having emotion) is the fact that she does have a couple friends and a crush on some student. In other tvtrope-esque words, she would have floated off into the Patrick Bateman dimension if not for several Morality Chains keeping her grounded.



How horrible is this idea or does it have some potential?
[+] Spoiler
Tim Tavares: A street walking Acinonyx with a heart full of napalm: I-II
Tito del Sol: Little Devil. The son of a rogue with the heart of a champion: I
Katherine Florian: Going through the motions and slowly losing touch.
Anne Danzig: Raising hell is freedom.
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umop-ap!sdn
Player
Joined: November 19th, 2011, 10:33 pm

December 11th, 2011, 7:05 pm #379

@teamsleep
it seems like Katherine is a premade killer. It seems like she has an antisocial disorder, and would have fun killing her classmates. The idea of being on the "brink of insanity" would need to be expanded and explained. Even if she doesn't know why, something had to cause it. If you can explain it in a believable, possible way, it could work out.

Here are very short descriptions of my characters, please PM me if you want to establish relationships or toss around ideas. I also love peer editing concepts, so let's get some tag team revisions going!

anyway:

Joey Polpetta: He works out 5 days a week, and loves to eat. As a result, he's got big muscles, but a giant round belly too. He's got an incredible libido, and loves gawking at girls, and he's a big time womanizer. He used to play football before he decided he wasn't cut out for it. He was the waterboy for a year before he decided he was too proud.

Cassidy Kant: A very sweet cheerleader, who also does gymnastics. She is always looking to help people out. She likes reading and writing in her spare time. In all other classes, she's usually day dreaming about a scene in a potential short story.

Jaquilyn Locke: An "I-am-who-I-am" cheerleader who gravitates toward being friends with guys rather than girls. She has no patience for passive- aggressiveness, and doesn't mind flirting A LOT. Because of this, many people assume she is a slut.

there's a lot more to all of these characters! PM meh if you want to hear more or want to establish relationships. (I don't want to start another relationship threat before pregame even begins!)
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Slam
Mr. Danya
Slam
Mr. Danya
Joined: August 11th, 2009, 7:39 pm

December 11th, 2011, 8:13 pm #380

I'm not necessarily getting a pre-made killer vibe from Katherine, but dealing with characters with mental issues is always risky business and not necessarily gaurenteed to work out. Nothing saying you shouldn't try though if you're interested, just keep in mind that a lot of depth and consideration is necessary, particularly in the area of whether anyone else is aware of these mental issues, as they're almost certain to take precautions about her presence at school if they are aware of such things for her own safety. It's an idea to consider but retain a lot of flexibility over I'd say.
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Cash Money
Leader
Joined: August 21st, 2011, 7:37 am

December 11th, 2011, 9:04 pm #381

I think that idea has some potential. As it's described in the paragraph, you might be going too far with it in the pre-island stages, but if you concentrate the planned insanity into the opening days on the island, I could see it being quite compelling. Personally, I'd concentrate on the growing feelings of dissociation when at the high school - basically lay the groundwork for her being unable to relate to anybody who isn't as rich as her, or indeed much of anybody in particular. Dropping subtle hints about how much she feels like a robot lately is a whole lot better than throwing in a "He looks like the kind of person I'd like to stab, but wait, that wouldn't be polite" kind of thing, is what I'm saying.
V5 concepts:
Randall Cimora: aspiring music producer, easygoing, space cadet, new kid
Currently blowing his Christmas money in Life is like a broken record
Leah Chapel: classic teenage rebel, sneaky, pessimistic, the un-favorite
Re-upping in LSMFT
Milo Richter: consummate professional, intellectual, debater, self-conscious
Convincing someone of what they already believe in Variables...
[+] Spoiler
Randall Leah Milo
All art by yucon
[+] Spoiler
Character concepts coming down the pipeline:
Davin Spencer loves him some classic rock and high fantasy.
Olivia Aronson could take you in a fight, but she'd rather not.
Sadie Trujillo would rather be out camping.
[unnamed] is an antiques collector in the making.
[unnamed] just wants to say hi to you!

Other sites I'm on:
The Riverside Incident / Mercy Street / Housetrapped

Sigquotes:
GameMaker: And Aaron I moan like a Swedish mule enjoying a honeyed Bavarian sugar lump
Mimi: I feel like having foreskin would be fun too, Alex. You could hide things in it. Like drugs or lipgloss.
Locobrojoe: tampons seem like they would be more dicklike
Laurels: Don't ever look for clovers in the mouth of a porpoise lantern, because the pink star trees will use their subpoena to make you deep fry stained glass windows
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Ruggahissy
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 10th, 2010, 2:07 am

December 11th, 2011, 9:17 pm #382

*I poke mah head in*


Teamsleep: I echo what the others say. Alienation and detachment are def things that happen to highschoolers and that sense of being lost and unable to really connect with the people around her could make for a good read. If you build the ground work for island insanity and do a good job, it can turn out nicely. Just make sure there's a logical progression and reasoning for the way she feels : )


Locobrojoe: I like all your people. Seem like a good roster of everyday kids
[+] Spoiler
[+] Spoiler
- Today at 8:38 PM
imagine this happening in life
and you pissed off a cop and he made you live with some incontinent sodafreak

05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not kill a policeman
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal his helmet
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not defecate in his helmet and mail it to his grieving family.
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal it again

17:06 Ruggawork An orison is a prayer
17:07 trash i don't know why i thought it was a bird
17:07 trash who looks at random ass words and thinks "huh what does that mean? whatever it's probably a bird"

14:11 Kalopsia I HEARD FURRIES AND I CAME AS FAST AS I COULD.
14:11 Imehal Lovely.
14:11 Imehal Read that again.

20:16Outfoxd I SAID I'M TAKIN IT BACK FROM THE SALTINE ESTABLISHMENT
20:16Meeemz Half the drag queens on Drag Race would beg to differ.
20:16Outfoxd EVERYONE KNOWS ALL DANCE CAME FROM AFRICA
20:17Outfoxd YOU CRACKAS NEED TO PUT SOME CHEESE ON YOSELF AND GO SIT ON A SNACK TRAY SOMEWHERE

21:07craft i
21:07craft am a fan of blowjbs.
21:07craft nods sagely
21:07Rugga ?
21:07Rugga Does that mean you get a lot of them or give a lot?
21:07craft yes
21:07craft wait
21:07Rugga ....



22:31Mimi THATS WHAT I THPGUTH
22:31Mimi THOUGHTU
22:31mudkip MIMI'S TURN
22:31Ruggahissy Thougt
22:31Ruggahissy THOUGHT
22:31Mimi HOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy We got it
22:31Mimi THOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy WE GOT IT
22:31Mimi we did good
22:32Mimi we're a good team

22:46 Meeemz I love dicks, though
22:46 Meeemz er
22:46 Rugga Sig quote
22:46 NaftUm
22:46 Meeemz dicky characters
22:46 Meeemz GOD NO

19:45 BikrikiI am pretty sure we can built a bridge to jerking off

00:11 Mimi DOESN'T FOAM BREAK EASILY
00:11 Ruggahissy Not if you wrap it in duct tape
00:11 MurderWeasel There's a fiberglass core.
00:12 MurderWeasel And the foam is some special sort you buy directly from another dimension using souls as currency or something.
00:12 Ruggahissy.........

14:42 Bikriki JA! Stick it in ze boot!
14:43 Rugga I LOVE THIS KID
14:43 Bikriki adds that to list of sexual euphemisms
14:43 Skyler_Phone You have a list?
14:43 Bikriki <.<
14:43 Bikriki >.>
14:43 Bikriki No...

Victoria says:
Oh wait, I totally forgot to tell you last night because I was busy whoring
Mimi says:
STORY
OF
MY
LIFE

16:42 KamiKaze I've always wondered what using a fleshlight feels like.
16:42 KamiKaze Too bad I'm not special because God didn't give me a penis. ):

17:46 Dom LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART, NOT YOUR VAGOO

Ruggahissy this dress makes me feel like I should be having tea with the mad hatter. Not getting felt up by drunk Germans
Dom don't let them go down the rab-
Ruggahissy BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dom SO WORTH IT

09:51 Vicky We did a good job, didn't we, Meemz?
09:51 Mimi not really, no

03:19 GeneralGoose*BUT HE'S GONNA THINK IT'S A SPOON. OR MY PENIS. WHICH IT ISN'T*

23:15 Cluevara ICE CREAM MAKES YOU FAT YOU LARDY LARD BUTT.


[+] Spoiler
Jonah Heartsgrave: If you need to talk I'll listen.
Lori Martin: You're so stuck up.
Tirzah Foss: Let's have some fun.
[+] Spoiler

v6
Caleb Diamond: Silly sacrificer
Hazel Jung: Abandoned actress
v5
Amaranta Montalvo: Pageant Winner
Michelle Wexler: Vegetarian sweetheart
Paris Ardennes : Scheming holy man

v4
Ethan Kent : The smartest jerk
Sally Connelley: Dainty meanie
Nick LeMonde : Eternal optimist
Isabel Guerra: Sad little girl
Autumn O'Leary: Lonely redhead
Mary-Ann Warren: Crumbling romantic
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Aura
Winner
Aura
Winner
Joined: December 9th, 2011, 6:39 pm

December 11th, 2011, 10:34 pm #383

This is my first SOTF, as well as my first RP ever, and I would appreciate some feedback on my character ideas. I'm open to criticism, so here it goes...

Matt Masters is a seven-foot tall, 295 pound gentle giant. He is often teased for his height, but never fights back, because his mother always taught him that his strength should be used to protect, not cause harm. He has a single mom, on account of his dad left her while she was pregnant. He is very strong, and works at a construction site in his spare time. He is also training to be a wrestler.

Adonis Alba is a big, bad, bully. He loves to tease students smaller and weaker than he is. He and his buddies are always starting fights and causing trouble around school. His father always told him to be the best, no matter what he has to do, resulting in Adonis' current attitude. He used to be on the football team, but he was kicked off after threatening the referee multiple times.

Stacey Mordetsky is a spoiled, self-centered princess. She has been winning various pageants and beauty contests since she was a child. Her mother is a blatant stage mom, and showers her with praise and gifts, while her younger brother Jake is ignored. Her father is more sensible, wanting her to be less materialistic and trying to build up her brother's self-esteem. She loves using her looks to manipulate the male students, and goes through about one boyfriend a week.

OK guys, those are my characters. I accept your feedback, good or bad. It's the only way I'll get better.

[+] Spoiler
v5 Characters:

B029- Matt Masters- DECEASED (114/152)

B043- Adonis Alba- DECEASED (124/152)

G051- Stacey Mordetsky- DECEASED (136/152)
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Ruggahissy
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 10th, 2010, 2:07 am

December 12th, 2011, 6:17 am #384

Hello Aura Master Fox and welcome to Survival of the Fittest! By entering you agree not to sue from any damages incurred within and agree that we are not liable for anything that may happen! I hope you enjoy your stay!



Anywho, I'm Ruggahissy and don't listen if people say things about me. I'm normal. All the way. If you'll look to your left you will see my secretly inappropriate avatar but if you look ABOVE that you will notice my name is BLUE. This is because I killed one of the mods and became a mod in their place. If you'd like help with anything, the Moderators and Administrators are the ones to ask. But enough welcome stuff, let's take a look at your kids to give you a helping hand before critiques actually staaaaaaaaaaaart.



Matt: Matt looks pretty good but the main problem here is his height. I've looked it up a little and most of the record holding tallest teenagers top out at 6'9'' with one more recent one at 7'5'' and that's due to a broken 12th chromosome. He has tons of problems walking and can't really jump or run due to the genetic whoopsy daisy. What I'm saying is that you should take him down a little in the height department. A kid can still be super tall and picked on somewhat at 6'5'' which is pretty much a giant among average kids.

Another note: Make sure to work in his construction work reasonably, maybe through a school work program or something of the like. Maybe not doing hard core construction but doing smaller work at a construction company.


Adonis: I like that you have a bully because here at SOTF we tend to have a bunch of loners who were bullied and like, a few bullies in the whole school who must be working super overtime. Just watch out that whatever he does as a bully is followed to it's logical conclusion. On the down low bullying like name calling and spit ball throwing is okay but major fighting is likely to get him suspended or expelled. Also I'm not 100% on this but I think threatening a ref once is enough to get him kicked off.


Stacey: I've got a pageant girl too! I look forward to the awesome cat fight that will ensue : ) . One boyfriend a week is a tad bit extreme though. Maybe she switches every few months which is a little more the norm for a highschool girl. It would also be cool to browse the concepts and see if you can get anyone who'd agree to name a character as an ex to back her up.


For a first effort, it's not bad at all and I think with the tweaks you'll be a-okay. Feel free to bug any of the colory name people if you have any questions and again, welcome welcome!

[+] Spoiler
[+] Spoiler
- Today at 8:38 PM
imagine this happening in life
and you pissed off a cop and he made you live with some incontinent sodafreak

05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not kill a policeman
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal his helmet
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not defecate in his helmet and mail it to his grieving family.
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal it again

17:06 Ruggawork An orison is a prayer
17:07 trash i don't know why i thought it was a bird
17:07 trash who looks at random ass words and thinks "huh what does that mean? whatever it's probably a bird"

14:11 Kalopsia I HEARD FURRIES AND I CAME AS FAST AS I COULD.
14:11 Imehal Lovely.
14:11 Imehal Read that again.

20:16Outfoxd I SAID I'M TAKIN IT BACK FROM THE SALTINE ESTABLISHMENT
20:16Meeemz Half the drag queens on Drag Race would beg to differ.
20:16Outfoxd EVERYONE KNOWS ALL DANCE CAME FROM AFRICA
20:17Outfoxd YOU CRACKAS NEED TO PUT SOME CHEESE ON YOSELF AND GO SIT ON A SNACK TRAY SOMEWHERE

21:07craft i
21:07craft am a fan of blowjbs.
21:07craft nods sagely
21:07Rugga ?
21:07Rugga Does that mean you get a lot of them or give a lot?
21:07craft yes
21:07craft wait
21:07Rugga ....



22:31Mimi THATS WHAT I THPGUTH
22:31Mimi THOUGHTU
22:31mudkip MIMI'S TURN
22:31Ruggahissy Thougt
22:31Ruggahissy THOUGHT
22:31Mimi HOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy We got it
22:31Mimi THOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy WE GOT IT
22:31Mimi we did good
22:32Mimi we're a good team

22:46 Meeemz I love dicks, though
22:46 Meeemz er
22:46 Rugga Sig quote
22:46 NaftUm
22:46 Meeemz dicky characters
22:46 Meeemz GOD NO

19:45 BikrikiI am pretty sure we can built a bridge to jerking off

00:11 Mimi DOESN'T FOAM BREAK EASILY
00:11 Ruggahissy Not if you wrap it in duct tape
00:11 MurderWeasel There's a fiberglass core.
00:12 MurderWeasel And the foam is some special sort you buy directly from another dimension using souls as currency or something.
00:12 Ruggahissy.........

14:42 Bikriki JA! Stick it in ze boot!
14:43 Rugga I LOVE THIS KID
14:43 Bikriki adds that to list of sexual euphemisms
14:43 Skyler_Phone You have a list?
14:43 Bikriki <.<
14:43 Bikriki >.>
14:43 Bikriki No...

Victoria says:
Oh wait, I totally forgot to tell you last night because I was busy whoring
Mimi says:
STORY
OF
MY
LIFE

16:42 KamiKaze I've always wondered what using a fleshlight feels like.
16:42 KamiKaze Too bad I'm not special because God didn't give me a penis. ):

17:46 Dom LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART, NOT YOUR VAGOO

Ruggahissy this dress makes me feel like I should be having tea with the mad hatter. Not getting felt up by drunk Germans
Dom don't let them go down the rab-
Ruggahissy BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dom SO WORTH IT

09:51 Vicky We did a good job, didn't we, Meemz?
09:51 Mimi not really, no

03:19 GeneralGoose*BUT HE'S GONNA THINK IT'S A SPOON. OR MY PENIS. WHICH IT ISN'T*

23:15 Cluevara ICE CREAM MAKES YOU FAT YOU LARDY LARD BUTT.


[+] Spoiler
Jonah Heartsgrave: If you need to talk I'll listen.
Lori Martin: You're so stuck up.
Tirzah Foss: Let's have some fun.
[+] Spoiler

v6
Caleb Diamond: Silly sacrificer
Hazel Jung: Abandoned actress
v5
Amaranta Montalvo: Pageant Winner
Michelle Wexler: Vegetarian sweetheart
Paris Ardennes : Scheming holy man

v4
Ethan Kent : The smartest jerk
Sally Connelley: Dainty meanie
Nick LeMonde : Eternal optimist
Isabel Guerra: Sad little girl
Autumn O'Leary: Lonely redhead
Mary-Ann Warren: Crumbling romantic
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Fayth
Cannon Fodder
Fayth
Cannon Fodder
Joined: December 12th, 2011, 6:47 am

December 12th, 2011, 8:11 am #385

Hey. Got myself a pair of concepts here that could use a looky-loo, if anyone's up for it.

First on the chopping block, Jamie O'Keefe. Jamie's father is a doctor, her mother is a vet, and they both expect her to go into the medical profession. The first time she helped her mother in the clinic, she got nauseous when she saw the blood from that poor rabbit, and had to run out of the room to vomit. She still has nightmares about it. Her parents say that's normal for the first time, but Jamie knows it isn't.

Her parents say they want her to go to public school so she doesn't end up with her nose in the air like "those vile children at that private school across town", but they themselves are highly biased against anyone who doesn't make as much as them, and resentful of anyone who makes more. Jamie herself is much more down-to-earth and personable, which her parents try to make it look like they encourage, but definitely don't approve of.

Then there's Max Powers. Formerly Sandy Williams, he legally changed his name as soon as he turned 18, much to his parents' disapproval and his school's consternation. He likes to think of himself as a ladies' man, and the notches on his bed second that. He says (often and loudly) that his only ambition in life is to get himself a sugar momma (/daddy, he's not picky when it comes to being pampered) and spend the rest of his life "fucking and sucking his way to the good life".

Underneath the womanizing persona, he actually wants to be a circus performer; he talked his parents into paying for trapeze lessons starting when he was 8, and he's got a nicely muscled body and the flexibility of a gymnast. His grades are mediocre, but the school he's aiming for only cares about ability, and he has a natural talent for the circus arts. As soon as he graduates, he plans to move to Montreal to attend The National Circus School to get his degree.

Questions, comments, concerns, more notches for Max's bedpost?
[+] Spoiler
Max Powers: He may not be the highest setting on a hairdryer, but he's well-convinced he's hotter than the surface of the sun. A closet trapeze artist, Max will try to get any girl at a three or higher (on a scale to ten) to get acquainted with his eight-pack.

Jamie O'Keefe: A down-to-earth girl from a rich family, Jamie's pretty laid-back and friendly unless blood is involved, in which case she promptly loses her lunch. She's a walking, talking medical encyclopedia, but due to her hemophobia, she'll never be able to put any of it to use.
[+] Spoiler
Kilmarnock: SHUT UP MY DICK IS REAL
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Laurels
Mr. Danya
Joined: October 4th, 2011, 4:36 pm

December 12th, 2011, 8:01 pm #386

Okay, I've mulled it over, and I am going to drop Rachael's mutism. Now, she's just a very shy and quiet girl who will only speak when she has to. When she does, she will be very succinct and to the point. Everything else about her should be the same, but if anything, this will still keep her in the "silent film" character vision I had for her.

I have edited the mega post I gave on the previous page to reflect this.
[+] Spoiler
Nadia Riva
"You don't think I'm pretty enough to be a model? And you're telling me while wearing that face?"


Noah Whitley
"You look like you could use a laugh, and I have just the joke for that."


Alba Reyes
"Woo hoo! Three holes in one! That's a new record!"
[+] Spoiler
Girl #007-Rachael Langdon
"I really am going to die, aren't I? Oh god, what am I going to do?"


Armed with a Solar Powered Scientific Calculator
Stabbed with a sword by Marcus Leung.
Girl #018-Claire Monaghan
"You know, I always thought I'd be seen by millions. Fuck Murphy's Law."


Armed with a Shotgun Flashlight (1 Bullet) and a bulletproof vest

Girl #035-Sophie McDowell
"People often find inspiration in the darkest times. I guess I can too."
Killed by a grenade thrown by Summer Simms

Armed with a lead pipe.
[+] Spoiler
[+] Spoiler

19:10 Laurelena: When octopi eat hamsters, the resulting laughter is a mix of colorful idiocy and dainty ice skating

18:10 Mimi: "how many nipples does Miss Piggy REALLY have?"

16:57 Mimi play Fergaliscious
16:58 Mimi IF YOU EVER WANT FANS
16:58 Mimi YOU NEED FERALISCIOUS
16:58 Mimi FERGALISCIOUS
16:58 Mimi Omg
16:58 Mimi feral-liscious
16:58 Mimi that's
16:58 Mimi blowing my mind

16:57 KamiKaze Laurie, if you ever become a mod, let it be known that one day you will critique someone's profile who had a girl killing her family friend because he raped her, and the person will insult you by calling you a talking Oshawott doll.

21:42Acidic i AM ANAL WART MAN

00:19Delroy.... I HAVE AN IMAGE OF HANSEL FUCKING TRAVIS WITH A CHAINSAW STUCK IN MY HEAD. HOW IS THIS IN ANY WAY GOOD!?


[+] Spoiler
[+] Spoiler

Rachael Langdon
[+] Spoiler

Rachael Langdon and Claire Monaghan
[+] Spoiler


Rachael Langdon


Claire Monaghan
[+] Spoiler

Claire Monaghan
[+] Spoiler




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Ruggahissy
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 10th, 2010, 2:07 am

December 12th, 2011, 10:41 pm #387

I will collect all the new people.



Hello Fayth and welcome to Survival of the Fittest! Do not ride the Survival of the Fittest if you have back, neck or heart problems or if you are more than three months pregnant. Please keep your body inside the Survival of the Fittest at all times. Por favor, cuida su cuerpo adentro del Survival of the Fittest a todos tiempos. I am Ruggahissy and I will be your operator today. Please pull down the safety bar and we'll begin:

Jamie O'Keefe: I think this is a good base of a character. She seems like a normal girl and I like that she's got some depth in the form of hypocritical snob parents while being a nice, sort of gentle person herself. Flesh her out when the time comes and I think she'll be a cool girl to watch.

MAX POWERS: This reminds me of an old episode of the Simpsons where Homer picked a new name at a whim because there was a hair dryer called Max Power (like, the hair dryer had maximum amount of drying power). It's a little silly. I did some research on name changes in the state of Washington ( v5 is in Seattle) and it's only $100 and some paper work to change a name once you're 18 so he COULD do it but.....why would he? Also even if he's 18 he still lives with his parents who I figure would say something about it. I think he could be just the same ladies man as Sandy Williams . That bein' said we've got no problem with man whores, I mean, boys whore it up as well, but I'm a tiny bit concerned at the sugar moma/daddy comment. Please make sure Max/Sandy doesn't actually go into prostitution because that leads to all kinds of problems. I think it's actually super cool that he wants to be in the circus and has a solid plan for his circus future. I like that : )

Right. That's the end of the ride. Exit in an orderly fashion and enjoy the rest of your stay. And as always, if you need help or would like to complain that you were made uncomfortable by that blushy face I used, feel free to contact the moderators or administrators!
[+] Spoiler
[+] Spoiler
- Today at 8:38 PM
imagine this happening in life
and you pissed off a cop and he made you live with some incontinent sodafreak

05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not kill a policeman
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal his helmet
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not defecate in his helmet and mail it to his grieving family.
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal it again

17:06 Ruggawork An orison is a prayer
17:07 trash i don't know why i thought it was a bird
17:07 trash who looks at random ass words and thinks "huh what does that mean? whatever it's probably a bird"

14:11 Kalopsia I HEARD FURRIES AND I CAME AS FAST AS I COULD.
14:11 Imehal Lovely.
14:11 Imehal Read that again.

20:16Outfoxd I SAID I'M TAKIN IT BACK FROM THE SALTINE ESTABLISHMENT
20:16Meeemz Half the drag queens on Drag Race would beg to differ.
20:16Outfoxd EVERYONE KNOWS ALL DANCE CAME FROM AFRICA
20:17Outfoxd YOU CRACKAS NEED TO PUT SOME CHEESE ON YOSELF AND GO SIT ON A SNACK TRAY SOMEWHERE

21:07craft i
21:07craft am a fan of blowjbs.
21:07craft nods sagely
21:07Rugga ?
21:07Rugga Does that mean you get a lot of them or give a lot?
21:07craft yes
21:07craft wait
21:07Rugga ....



22:31Mimi THATS WHAT I THPGUTH
22:31Mimi THOUGHTU
22:31mudkip MIMI'S TURN
22:31Ruggahissy Thougt
22:31Ruggahissy THOUGHT
22:31Mimi HOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy We got it
22:31Mimi THOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy WE GOT IT
22:31Mimi we did good
22:32Mimi we're a good team

22:46 Meeemz I love dicks, though
22:46 Meeemz er
22:46 Rugga Sig quote
22:46 NaftUm
22:46 Meeemz dicky characters
22:46 Meeemz GOD NO

19:45 BikrikiI am pretty sure we can built a bridge to jerking off

00:11 Mimi DOESN'T FOAM BREAK EASILY
00:11 Ruggahissy Not if you wrap it in duct tape
00:11 MurderWeasel There's a fiberglass core.
00:12 MurderWeasel And the foam is some special sort you buy directly from another dimension using souls as currency or something.
00:12 Ruggahissy.........

14:42 Bikriki JA! Stick it in ze boot!
14:43 Rugga I LOVE THIS KID
14:43 Bikriki adds that to list of sexual euphemisms
14:43 Skyler_Phone You have a list?
14:43 Bikriki <.<
14:43 Bikriki >.>
14:43 Bikriki No...

Victoria says:
Oh wait, I totally forgot to tell you last night because I was busy whoring
Mimi says:
STORY
OF
MY
LIFE

16:42 KamiKaze I've always wondered what using a fleshlight feels like.
16:42 KamiKaze Too bad I'm not special because God didn't give me a penis. ):

17:46 Dom LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART, NOT YOUR VAGOO

Ruggahissy this dress makes me feel like I should be having tea with the mad hatter. Not getting felt up by drunk Germans
Dom don't let them go down the rab-
Ruggahissy BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dom SO WORTH IT

09:51 Vicky We did a good job, didn't we, Meemz?
09:51 Mimi not really, no

03:19 GeneralGoose*BUT HE'S GONNA THINK IT'S A SPOON. OR MY PENIS. WHICH IT ISN'T*

23:15 Cluevara ICE CREAM MAKES YOU FAT YOU LARDY LARD BUTT.


[+] Spoiler
Jonah Heartsgrave: If you need to talk I'll listen.
Lori Martin: You're so stuck up.
Tirzah Foss: Let's have some fun.
[+] Spoiler

v6
Caleb Diamond: Silly sacrificer
Hazel Jung: Abandoned actress
v5
Amaranta Montalvo: Pageant Winner
Michelle Wexler: Vegetarian sweetheart
Paris Ardennes : Scheming holy man

v4
Ethan Kent : The smartest jerk
Sally Connelley: Dainty meanie
Nick LeMonde : Eternal optimist
Isabel Guerra: Sad little girl
Autumn O'Leary: Lonely redhead
Mary-Ann Warren: Crumbling romantic
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umop-ap!sdn
Player
Joined: November 19th, 2011, 10:33 pm

December 13th, 2011, 12:24 am #388

@teamsleep

Agreed with what everybody else said!

Also all characters are Seniors this year, so she cannot be a junior if she's getting carted off the the island. Katherine has a lot of potential!

@Fayth I like Max! I'll pm you because I'd love to peer edit and make relationships.

@Aura Master Fox WELCOME! concepts look great so far!
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Little Boy
Contender
Joined: June 12th, 2010, 12:28 am

December 13th, 2011, 3:47 am #389

http://i.imgur.com/4xJpe.png

So, redid my concepts!

Hannah MasBach

- Third Generation German, Hannah is my roughest idea so far. I know that she is going to be a history buff of some sort. Judging by her sorta awkward appearance (Hannah has a really long neck and really thick glasses) she isn't much liked by the dudes. Which she desperately wants to change. I'm really considering it being a running gag of sorts through pregame or something, Hannah attempting to find someone who likes her. She's rather abrasive, but very smart. She's also a gamer in her spare time, and I've been toying with the idea of having her participating in historical reenactments or something along those lines.


Oswaldo Marx

- Oswaldo hasn't changed from my initial idea, at least not that much. He's the son of well known author, Salvador Marx who specializes in writing Fantasy. This is just a pen name, but Salvador is quite the character, and legally had his name changed to his pen name. Oswaldo was a perfectly healthy kid, albeit afflicted with a very odd name. At some point in his childhood, probably around six, a fire broke out at the Marx house. Oswaldo was burned extremely badly, most notably on the left side of his face and required intensive surgeries, skin grafts, all kinds of stuff. Because of this, he has a near crippling fear of flames and fire, and he goes to a therapist for this. This fire also took the life of Oswaldo's mom. Now, Salvador was never the most rational sort of guy. Being an artist, Salvador tried to vocalize his pain, writing a manuscript for his next novel that dealt with his grief and his wife. This book went on to become his biggest selling hit. Salvador, immensely pleased with it, wrote another. And another. At this point, his franchise is going strong and he's winning awards all over the world for his books.

For Oswaldo unfortunately, this means he has to deal with a mary sue-ish version of the mother he barely knew. He has to live day to day with the fact that his father, still pained over the death of his wife, only finds comfort in this make-believe character. He has to go through school knowing that most people who've read his father's books know his mother better than he ever did, and know the explicit details of how she died. And of course, Oswaldo has to deal with people who gush over his father's work, or worse still, attempt to sympathize with him or relate to him and the story of his fathers books.

At this point, Oswaldo absolutely despises his father and his writing. Oswaldo himself is a decent story teller, but he has shut down that aspect of himself in response to his fathers works. Salvador doesn't know why Oswaldo despises him to this degree, and tries his best to relate and communicate with his son.

To put it lightly, his relationship with his dad is not something to be joked about. Only Os' closest pals have a hint of all this. On the outside, Oswaldo is a happy boy, despite all his pains. He enjoys drinking, hanging out with his friends, biking in the forests, and is a total romantic when it comes to girls. He's not much of a ladies man, but he tries his hardest. Just don't mention his Dad's books, or fire.

Nolan Moss

- Bluhg, I got tired. I'll do Nolan tomorrow.
V5

Oswaldo Marx --> "Chicks dig scars? Yeah, I'm calling bullshit." --> Cicada Nights
Mikko "Mike" Korhonen --> "Interesting, very interesting!" --> A Casual Question
V4 / Mini's
[+] Spoiler

Jay Holland > "If I just smile, I guess they'll think it's all okay." ESCAPED
Jimmy Brennan > H&K CAWS (12 gauge) > "Step through that door and underestimate me, just like all the rest!" > PLACED: 22 / 276
Roland Harte > Kris > " This is, for all intents and purposes, my war now." > PLACED: 150 / 276
Orn "Dutchy" Ayers > Harpoon > "I fell in a puddle..." > PLACED: 98 / 276

Abby Erickson > Claw Hammer > "I get tired easy, so maybe the big sleep would be good for me." PLACED: 27 / 53
Brett Torres > Raven Arms MP-25 (.25) [x4 clips (6 round capacity)] 17/24 /// Stoner 63 (5.56x45mm) [(150 rounds per Drum)] 300/300 > "Bloodthirsty little bunch, ain't we?"
Jonas Jeffries > PINK TEAM > MAC-10 [x8 clips (30 Round Capacity)] 30/30 > " 'ow doo I make the muggafuggin' kh-chg noibs?!" PLACED: 31 / 66
wrote:"My dick did the Mexican Hat Dance and I had to suppress the moan that wanted to escape." - Casey
NOTE TO SELF: Burns on the left side. LEFT SIDE.
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Aura
Winner
Aura
Winner
Joined: December 9th, 2011, 6:39 pm

December 13th, 2011, 4:49 am #390

I gotta say, I like Little Boy's concepts. A history buff that wants guys to like her, and a skilled writer that turned his back on his talents. With his track record, I know that these characters are going to be great.

I have also reworked my own characters:

Matt Masters is now 6'7", and weighs 280 pounds. He does various odd jobs for a local construction site (making sure they have enough supplies, etc.) to help his mom pay the bills, as she has a pretty low-paying desk job. He also volunteers at a center for abused women and children (reasons will be explained in his full bio, but it involves his best friend, a girl he met a couple years ago.)

Adonis Alba is still a thuggish bully. He mainly teases, and his violent streak stopped being prevalent in middle school. And when I said that he got kicked off the football team for multiple threats against the ref, I meant multiple threats in the same sentence.

Stacey Mordetsky is still a self-centered brat. While she may not change boyfriends every week, per se, she still changes much more often than any girl her age should. She also recently took up modeling, and that made her even more popular with the male students.

So, what do you guys think?

[+] Spoiler
v5 Characters:

B029- Matt Masters- DECEASED (114/152)

B043- Adonis Alba- DECEASED (124/152)

G051- Stacey Mordetsky- DECEASED (136/152)
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