Iceblock
Survivor
Joined: March 4th, 2011, 4:22 am

September 1st, 2016, 5:45 am #11

Wayne had always admired people who were passionate about something. Art, writing, math, robotics, football - it didn't matter. When they found their passion, they gave it one hundred percent. They thought. They created.

Where they produced, he consumed. To make a video game was admirable. To play one was not.

That was part of the gap that had always hounded him, the gap between who he was and who he could be, the gap between who he was and who he should be. Intuitively he knew he should have had some kind of passion, something he cared about. He didn't. Gardening didn't count; he'd feared that once he got a job - if he got a job - it would have shown him that he only cared for it as a hobby. And drawing? That was just something he did to avoid doing what he needed to do.

Just another part of that ideal him he should have been. If he tried harder. If he could just shut everyone out and fix himself. But he never could.

He saw that passion, that conviction in Asha's eyes and in the set of her smile, heard it in the tone of her voice.

In that moment he placed Asha above him in his mental hierarchy.

Dorothy was right too, in that what she said seemed to so simply state what he had been trying to grasp all along. She didn't want to accept death. He couldn't either. He had his advantage, his weapon, and the panic and fear that lurked at the edge of his mind. He couldn't let them go, even if he wanted to.

"I think I get it," Wayne finally said. He nodded slightly, then leaned back a little deeper into the fence and looked at the sky, all too aware of where the other two were in relation to him and the places in the corners of his vision where someone else might suddenly pop up out of the blue. "It's not like I've got anything better to do, so... if we go with that, how do we get started?"
[+] spoiler
This space intentionally left blank.
[+] spoiler
V6:
B041: Wayne Cox -- KABAR Combat Knife -- Forget-Me-Not
G053: Melanie Beckett -- Tickle Me Elmo -- Knife to the Canvas

V5:
G069: Lauren Rowe -- Empty Syringe/Needle -- I'll be Their Bogeyman

V5 Pregame:
David Cordell -- Dead Ringer
Jason Lin -- Dead Ender
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Leaf
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Joined: March 8th, 2015, 2:08 am

September 2nd, 2016, 9:14 pm #12

"I think..."

She bit her tongue. Not hard enough to draw blood but enough to shut her up. Don't say something you'll regret, she thought. She couldn't just say "well, we should all join hands and leap off a building" or something like that. No, she had to be thoughtful.

But...how the hell can you be thoughtful and caring and whatnot here? It was just a matter of time before their primal instinct kicked in. Just one misplaced word, and all of their teetering lives will go fall. She had to bring the subject up, she couldn't just forget it and procrastinate it. There was no way she could hide behind a black curtain or shove it in a box then throw it away.

It was an obvious point, one of them will flip. One of them - Asha, Wayne, Dot - will lose their final bit of sanity and they'll become a time bomb. Just waiting to explode and steal the lives of those around them while taking themselves down. It was a matter of days, hours, maybe even minutes before their group implodes.

"I think you make sense Asha, but I can't afford letting them take my life and my, uh, person? Or is it morals? I don't know, but you get it right? I'm fine with you accepting death, but, for me, I just can't. I have to believe in hope and life because if I stopped... I think I'd just shutdown"

She hoped she didn't come off as scrambled. She did that sometimes, and people had to ask her what was she talking about to understand her. She had to finish with a strong point if that was the case.

"I... I'll accept my death when I'll be dead, not before."
[+] spoiler
Born underneath a Canadian sky to parents who were quite possibly mounties, Lore roamed the wild unknowns of Quebec, becoming a kickass gamer girl and a sassy action lady. She has both fought a beaver to the death and won several arguments on instagram. Scientists have struggled for years to figure out which is sharper - her wit or Valyrian steel. She is most known outside of SOTF for her portrayal of Yuno Gasai in the anime series The Future Diaries, which she shot for 43 days on-location. She still has the pink hair dye.
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dmboogie
Winner
Joined: December 9th, 2008, 10:33 pm

September 4th, 2016, 8:46 pm #13

Dammit. Now Wayne was expecting something from Asha. Sure, she was glad he listened, but just getting that far had basically been the entirety of her plan. It was really more of a way of life than anything else - well, a way of death, more like. Asha knew she wasn't leader material, and even in ballet she'd always been content to stay out of the competition for the spotlight, happy to just see other people shine.

Here, Asha had managed to come up with an ideal that she wholeheartedly believed in, but she wasn't trying to be some sort of visionary. She just thought she was on to something pretty comforting, and that maybe other people needed to hear it, too. She didn't want to be responsible for anyone, that shit was scary. Even though it didn't make sense if you took her flavor of nihilism to its logical extreme - if they're all gonna die, why worry if she made a mistake and gets someone else killed, had to stare into their fading eyes as they whispered "I trusted you" if she was lucky enough to have a nightmare ever again - Asha still hated the thought of being responsible for anyone else's pain.

Dorothy's reaction simply confused Asha. Dot said she understood, but she followed that up with the complete antithesis to what Asha meant. Didn't she see that death was exactly how you kept your morals, and believing that you could live was what would cause the greatest amount of grief for yourself and everyone around her? Regardless, it was an answer that she seemed to firmly believe in, and even though it seemed alien, now, Asha respected that.

"That's fine, Dot. I'm not asking anything of you, don't worry. I'll just keep doing my thing and we can still get along, alright? 'Cause, Wayne, there's no real grand, sweeping gestures involved," Asha said, vaguely waving a hand towards the horizon for emphasis. "What it all boils down to is, when we see other people, we're gonna be nice to 'em and have a good time. That's all."
[+] spoiler
[+] spoiler
Asha Sur: GIRL 018, armed with a TASER. "Let's all embrace nihilism and be nice!"
Cass Prince: HUMAN 001, armed with a MOP. "It's all falling apart, isn't it? We're unravelling."
[+] spoiler
V6
Harold Porter: BOY 034, armed with a COFFEE POT. "Hey - none of this... none of this is your fault, alright?" Messed up. Plain and simple.

V5
Daniel Whitten: BOY 074, armed with an INDIANA JONES REPLICA WHIP. "Oh, hey, sorry. Didn't think there was anyone else-" Died early.
Alice Gilman: GIRL 064, armed with a ROTATO. "Just... Just wanted you to drop the gun. Thought you were gonna shoot." Died stupidly.
Michael Mitchellson:BOY 019, armed with a FUCKING AUTOMATIC SHOTGUN. Died a failure.

[+] spoiler
[+] spoiler
Daniel Whitten

By Violent-Medic

Michael Mitchellson

By Violent-Medic



By Mimi

Alice Gilman


By TurtleTyrant

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Iceblock
Survivor
Joined: March 4th, 2011, 4:22 am

September 4th, 2016, 10:31 pm #14

He could work with that.

Wayne looked back down and ran one of his hands through his bangs. It was a bad habit, one that contributed to his messy hair. Over time in the desert heat, his hair would clump together, eventually mat down with dust, dirt, and sweat if he didn't keep it combed and washed. It was likely to do the same here, and suddenly, he felt an absurd sense of unease that he would probably never shower again. As if that was anywhere near the top of his priorities right now.

"So," he said, "we just walk around and greet people? What's your idea of a good time, anyway?" He shrugged. Casual. "Not talking grand and sweeping, then. Just what you want to do."

It was almost odd to consider what he would do if he bought into Asha's philosophy instead of just saying that he bought into it. Accepting death, giving and getting a chance to be happy. Was he supposed to just... find a basketball court and shoot a few hoops with some deflated basketball by himself? He didn't think that'd help.

No video games here. But those had never really made him happy, either. Getting a good kill-death ratio, learning the rules of a game down to a T, even finishing a good RPG storyline - that was all escapism, triggering whatever the pleasure centers in his brain were called. A short-term solution to a long-term dissatisfaction. Afterwards, he was still himself, and nothing had changed.

Having a good time was easier said than done. For the moment, even as hypothetical as it was, he found himself at a loss.
[+] spoiler
This space intentionally left blank.
[+] spoiler
V6:
B041: Wayne Cox -- KABAR Combat Knife -- Forget-Me-Not
G053: Melanie Beckett -- Tickle Me Elmo -- Knife to the Canvas

V5:
G069: Lauren Rowe -- Empty Syringe/Needle -- I'll be Their Bogeyman

V5 Pregame:
David Cordell -- Dead Ringer
Jason Lin -- Dead Ender
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Leaf
Player
Joined: March 8th, 2015, 2:08 am

September 8th, 2016, 1:40 pm #15

Dorothy just felt like disappearing, but such luxury isn't possible. She simply thought about swimming in the oceans, going under the waves, seeing the fish doing their little fishy things.

She thought about it, swimming and all of that. Maybe she should have tried to become better at something important like running or fitness. She could have stand a chance to survive. To come back home, see her parents, see everyone - but for all of her classmates - that loved her again.

Yet, she didn't want to go home that way. She didn't want to kill anyone. Somebody could figure out a way to escape or somebody could get them off the island. That's why she didn't want to accept death.

If she accepted death, she accepted killing. She would have to accept the pain, the violence, the sadness that came with it. So instead, she accepted life. Even though somebody could be saying she was lying to herself, or living in denial, Dot believed in life and its promises.

She was stuck in this kill-or-die situation, and she dumbly believed in her own lies. At one point, Asha will die. Brendan will die. Dorothy will die. Even Wayne, who she knew for about 30 minutes, will die. Everyone around her is going to die, yet she believed in life. She believed in a better tomorrow, and she wanted to make sure it could - no, will - happen.

By denying death, she felt a certain serenity. A calmness that once was a tornado raging in her head. With that clearance, she decided to speak up.

"I want to do nice thing, you know? I want to help people here, maybe patch 'em up or hug them. I just want somebody to remember this island had kids on it and we had lives, and we're not some aliens from another world fighting each other."

She stopped and thought about what she said. Asha and Dot were saying the same thing. Or at least, Dorothy was thinking similarly to Asha, just not believing in the same fundamental aspect. Their friendship could survive that.
[+] spoiler
Born underneath a Canadian sky to parents who were quite possibly mounties, Lore roamed the wild unknowns of Quebec, becoming a kickass gamer girl and a sassy action lady. She has both fought a beaver to the death and won several arguments on instagram. Scientists have struggled for years to figure out which is sharper - her wit or Valyrian steel. She is most known outside of SOTF for her portrayal of Yuno Gasai in the anime series The Future Diaries, which she shot for 43 days on-location. She still has the pink hair dye.
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dmboogie
Winner
Joined: December 9th, 2008, 10:33 pm

September 11th, 2016, 6:26 am #16

"Dot's got it in one, Wayne. Which is good, 'cause I haven't really thought that far ahead, to be honest!" Asha shrugged. "I figure we all got people we wanna see and maybe cling to for a while, but we can't really do much about that except wander around and hope for the best."

If nothing else, she hoped to at least be able to see her fellow ballerinas one last time and joke about kicking the absolute shit out of some terrorists as some sorta badass ballet death squad. "So in the meantime, we just gotta act like decent fuckin' human beings, y'know? People are gonna be hurting bad, and the least we can do for them is stay for a while and lend an ear. Use our last days to spread as many good vibes as we can."

Asha was relieved that, in the end, she and Dorothy were basically just disagreeing over semantics. One of them had taken the road that smelled like lilacs, the other rafflesia, but they both lead to the same verdant meadow that offered a lovely view of the giant, blinking eye in the sky that'd signal the end of all things. So long as they all agreed that helping people was cool and good, they'd be fine. Asha'd rather get something done than waste time trying to convince people that 'we're all gonna die but that's alright,' after all.

"It's not gonna be easy, and I figure shit'll go south eventually, but I can jump off that flaming bridge once we get to it. I know this is what I want to spend my last days doing," Asha said. She casually stuck a hand in her pocket, fingers brushing against the taser to reassure herself it was still there. Asha still hadn't told anyone, not even Dorothy, what her weapon was.

Oh, imminent death or no, Asha would still be loath to see anyone in excruciating agony. The taser seemed the best and most non-lethal way to protect Asha and the people around her from pain, but would revealing its presence make them feel any better? She feared that if either of her companions found out, it'd immediately put a wedge between them; the armed against the the distrustful unarmed. Asha was terrified of having her friends be terrified of her; so in her pocket the taser stayed.
[+] spoiler
[+] spoiler
Asha Sur: GIRL 018, armed with a TASER. "Let's all embrace nihilism and be nice!"
Cass Prince: HUMAN 001, armed with a MOP. "It's all falling apart, isn't it? We're unravelling."
[+] spoiler
V6
Harold Porter: BOY 034, armed with a COFFEE POT. "Hey - none of this... none of this is your fault, alright?" Messed up. Plain and simple.

V5
Daniel Whitten: BOY 074, armed with an INDIANA JONES REPLICA WHIP. "Oh, hey, sorry. Didn't think there was anyone else-" Died early.
Alice Gilman: GIRL 064, armed with a ROTATO. "Just... Just wanted you to drop the gun. Thought you were gonna shoot." Died stupidly.
Michael Mitchellson:BOY 019, armed with a FUCKING AUTOMATIC SHOTGUN. Died a failure.

[+] spoiler
[+] spoiler
Daniel Whitten

By Violent-Medic

Michael Mitchellson

By Violent-Medic



By Mimi

Alice Gilman


By TurtleTyrant

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Iceblock
Survivor
Joined: March 4th, 2011, 4:22 am

September 11th, 2016, 6:44 pm #17

"Fair enough," Wayne said, forcing a casual shrug and a hint of a smile, and looked up at the sky again. "Let me know when we're heading out."

Let them think he was composed, indifferent, accepting.

Better than to show how he really felt, how every word they said was another stab at his heart.

They could talk about acting like decent human beings - decent fuckin' human beings - but he wasn't one. No, that was a good choice of words. Acting. Acting like a decent human being. That was what he was doing right now, acting, keeping up this casual conversation even though his supplies were ill-gotten and everything he said was a lie.

Perhaps they were all lying, keeping their true natures hidden and waiting to strike, but he didn't think so. He was more than willing to give them the benefit of the doubt after they had so easily described their desire to do good.

Asha and Dorothy didn't need to act. They were. No matter how different their philosophies were, at heart they were the same.

That just left him the third wheel again, alone again, the monster lurking in the dark.
[+] spoiler
This space intentionally left blank.
[+] spoiler
V6:
B041: Wayne Cox -- KABAR Combat Knife -- Forget-Me-Not
G053: Melanie Beckett -- Tickle Me Elmo -- Knife to the Canvas

V5:
G069: Lauren Rowe -- Empty Syringe/Needle -- I'll be Their Bogeyman

V5 Pregame:
David Cordell -- Dead Ringer
Jason Lin -- Dead Ender
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Leaf
Player
Joined: March 8th, 2015, 2:08 am

September 16th, 2016, 2:33 pm #18

Dot felt like this was going nowhere. It wasn't a bad thing though, she'd loved to stay there all day. She felt like a statue, there to be seen, unmoving. She thought about it, along with researching for newly made billionaires in the beginning of the century, she could maybe review the footage of this program or whatever they called it.

She could become an artist, using this experience positively and making an impact. She had to get out of there first, though. Better to start thinking about the present and not the blurry future. However, knowing she could possibly grow out of this experience made her feel somewhat happy along with the serenity.

It sure was a horrible tragedy, but in Dorothy's mind, it was just another day, but with more weapons and less wifi. A smile drew itself on her face, cutting her mouth in half as she blankly stared at the fence. But suddenly, her smile disappeared from a passing thought. Her empty gaze shifted from the fence and the ocean to her companions.

"You think... You think someone's dead already?"
[+] spoiler
Born underneath a Canadian sky to parents who were quite possibly mounties, Lore roamed the wild unknowns of Quebec, becoming a kickass gamer girl and a sassy action lady. She has both fought a beaver to the death and won several arguments on instagram. Scientists have struggled for years to figure out which is sharper - her wit or Valyrian steel. She is most known outside of SOTF for her portrayal of Yuno Gasai in the anime series The Future Diaries, which she shot for 43 days on-location. She still has the pink hair dye.
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dmboogie
Winner
Joined: December 9th, 2008, 10:33 pm

September 18th, 2016, 8:30 am #19

Asha absently nodded at Wayne, still contemplating the problem of the taser. If they wanted to actually practice all the love and death she was preaching, it'd be best to leave soon; but she found herself strangely reluctant to be the one to take the first step, for once. It felt as if they'd taken two wrong turns towards a right, found a small pocket of the island that was untouched by time. They were alone, they were safe, they could stand against the wind and hear the ocean waves it blew below.

This pretense died as Dorothy spoke, reaffirming that even while time passed them by, it could still be claiming the ones they loved.

"I'd like to think not, but... dunno. Depends how much faith you got in our classmates, I guess," Asha said, running names and faces through her mind. She couldn't imagine any of her friends killing, or even the relative strangers she sometimes spoke to in the halls. But that was the purpose of the game, wasn't it? Showing how anyone could be reduced to a twisted husk of themselves, driven by nothing by hate and momentum, taking and taking from others just to breathe a few more pained breaths.

If the terrorists were trying to make a point about humanity, they were going about it the entirely wrong way. If you took a hammer to enough of a man's bones, he would eventually break, nothing but a crying and writhing mass of blood and flesh. Did that mean he was weak, could've survived if he'd only been a bit stronger? No. It was the same with the oh-so-fragile human psyche. No one who deserved a heart could look at kids who had been put through every kind of hell imaginable and truly blame them for whatever they had done. You couldn't just write it off as the murderous terrorists being murderous, crazy terrorists either. You didn't survive being the world's most wanted criminals for over a decade without being frighteningly sane.

No, they knew exactly what they were doing. This had to be someone's idea of entertainment, and in a way, Asha could understand that. Humans were an infinitely deep and interesting species, after all. It was fascinating to think about what makes an individual work, try to understand their hopes, their tics, their perspective on life. What they feared. Figure out what buttons to push to make them decide to bathe themselves in blood or jump off a cliff. Repeat for hundreds of other unfortunate subjects. You'd never run out of material.

That was exactly why Asha liked horror. How her comic, The Wonderful Death of Us All! had started. She had come up with a cast of characters, thought about their thoughts and tried to make them come alive inside her head, poured her heart into them. Invented an endless line of horrors and torments to parade them through. Had a blast deciding who'd die first, who'd snap under the pressure, who'd live to the end this time. Bring them all back to life for the next arc. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Kept it fun by keeping everyone cute and smiling, by prettying up and abstracting any gore.

Oh, Asha knew she wasn't the same as the people who watched SOTF. She knew there was a line. The death she created had been constrained to pixels on her screen, wrought by nothing but her stylus and tablet. She knew that horror was only wonderful when everyone was in on the joke. No one deserved to live their lives in fear. No one deserved to suffer.

Still, though. Their pastimes were all coming from the same place, the same desire to watch people unravel before their eyes.

God, she wanted to puke.

"...Let's not waste our time trying to guess. Please. It won't help anyone." Asha hoped she didn't sound as disgusted as she felt. She forced a smile, knowing it wouldn't fool anyone. "So! Got anywhere in mind for us to go next?"
[+] spoiler
[+] spoiler
Asha Sur: GIRL 018, armed with a TASER. "Let's all embrace nihilism and be nice!"
Cass Prince: HUMAN 001, armed with a MOP. "It's all falling apart, isn't it? We're unravelling."
[+] spoiler
V6
Harold Porter: BOY 034, armed with a COFFEE POT. "Hey - none of this... none of this is your fault, alright?" Messed up. Plain and simple.

V5
Daniel Whitten: BOY 074, armed with an INDIANA JONES REPLICA WHIP. "Oh, hey, sorry. Didn't think there was anyone else-" Died early.
Alice Gilman: GIRL 064, armed with a ROTATO. "Just... Just wanted you to drop the gun. Thought you were gonna shoot." Died stupidly.
Michael Mitchellson:BOY 019, armed with a FUCKING AUTOMATIC SHOTGUN. Died a failure.

[+] spoiler
[+] spoiler
Daniel Whitten

By Violent-Medic

Michael Mitchellson

By Violent-Medic



By Mimi

Alice Gilman


By TurtleTyrant

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Iceblock
Survivor
Joined: March 4th, 2011, 4:22 am

September 19th, 2016, 4:17 am #20

Wayne kept looking at the sky this time. There was nothing interesting there, but at least not looking at the others meant that he didn't have to fully engage with them mentally, either.

He didn't understand why Dorothy had brought people dying up again. If she really wanted to insist that they weren't going to die, if death was something she refused to accept until it came, why face it head on again?

He didn't know the answer to her question, either. But he hated that he almost wished - or did wish - that the answer was yes. That someone was dead. Murdered.

It provided him with an easy reassurance. The reassurance: at least. At least he'd only robbed someone. At least there was no blood on his hands. At least he was only lying through his teeth so that they wouldn't look at him like he deserved to be looked at.

At least he wasn't as bad as that hypothetical murderer. As if any amount could be justified at all, as if someone worthless could be made into someone of worth by putting them into a cesspool of more worthless people.

Even if he hadn't murdered anyone, he had willingly shortened their lifespan. Perhaps they would die at the point where it didn't matter, somewhere early on, so that they never needed those supplies in the first place. But even if there was no difference in the end, that didn't mean that it was okay.

He was running loops in his mind again. All this thinking about what he'd done. Again, and again, and again, and he never got anywhere and never figured out anything of value. Just slightly different iterations of the same guilt, patch notes on a bug that just wouldn't be fixed. He shoved the thoughts away. They'd come back soon enough.

"Is there anywhere we don't want to go?" Wayne finally offered in return. "I'd probably try to avoid the asylum. Too closed in. I don't really care otherwise."
[+] spoiler
This space intentionally left blank.
[+] spoiler
V6:
B041: Wayne Cox -- KABAR Combat Knife -- Forget-Me-Not
G053: Melanie Beckett -- Tickle Me Elmo -- Knife to the Canvas

V5:
G069: Lauren Rowe -- Empty Syringe/Needle -- I'll be Their Bogeyman

V5 Pregame:
David Cordell -- Dead Ringer
Jason Lin -- Dead Ender
Quote
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