CrossbowPig
Contender
Joined: June 28th, 2016, 7:37 pm

August 28th, 2017, 5:30 pm #181

Another kid with four threads. Thankfully, this guy doesn't have any pre-game, so I don't necessarily have to torture myself with invisionfree godawful blue. Then again, having some pre-game time is usually good for establishing a voice for a character - did they not have memory threads back then? - so we'll see how this affected the kind of kid that Darren turned out to be. He also might be the first kid I've had during a read-a-thon to ever have one consistent handler all the way through, but, we'll see.

Darren is fifteen years old, and he's my third kid in a row from Bathurst. His only hobby or interest is sleep, which already doesn't bode well for him as a character, though a pro-sleeper student would be extremely entertaining as comic relief. He seems like a normal enough kid, looks-wise, though the "lady-killer smile" rings a few alarm bells in my head, but, eh, another oddity that you can chock up the weirdness of the version as a whole.

Darren is an orphan, along with his younger brother Maximilian three years his junior, who have been orphans ever since their parents died "in a car accident," though the true cause of their death is left ambiguous to the reader for reasons unknown. Eventually, they're put into the care of the Stevonsons (yes, it's spelt that way), two loving foster parents who accept them as their own, and the family lives happily until middle school. When their foster mother dies in an accident, their foster father turns to alcohol to cope with the emotional pain. Caught between supporting his family financially, earning good grades, and looking after his brother, Darren teters on the brink of a mental and physical breakdown at any moment.

...this all feels oddly familiar…

Well, anyways, the obvious immediate downside here is that, because we don't have any pre-game of Darren, we have no way of actually seeing the dynamic between him and his brother outside of flashbacks during the game. My guess is that during his death scene he has one of these very flashbacks, and it is all very emotional and touching, and that's how it is because it is.

Darren is thrown onto the island with a dulled katana and a bag of supplies and his wits. Let's see which of these three pillars falls away first.

Upon awakening in the farmhouse, he lies down in the dirt and convinces himself that he's still asleep while his mind drifts to various topics of interest, until he eventually comes around to thinking about his brother, springs up, and finds the resolve to make it off the island at any cost. This all comes to pass within the space of three paragraphs, four if you're being generous. Regardless of whether or not this idea needed more time to visibly fester in the mind of the character, this gives him a solid motive for returning home, and a goal to work towards for the rest of his short stay on the island.The rest of the thread is him finding the katana, trying to slice some nearby corn stalks with it, and panicking when he finds out that it's dull.
Darren wrote:"Fuck! It's dull... ducking dull..."
His unspecified job mentioned in his profile turns out to be at a steel plant, and this grants him with the knowledge that even dulled steel can cut if you want it to, a fact that he takes great comfort in. Galvanized, he sets off away from the sun, katana in hand.

He makes his way over to the river, where he runs into Seth Malvice, who just got done speaking to Tori Johnson. Seth's unmoving presence on the bridge over the river startles Darren, but he manages to keep his cool largely in part because he can't see a body anywhere, so that must mean that Seth isn't a killer. Isn't this supposed to be an honor roll student here? I understand the distinction between book-smarts and street-smarts, but underestimating a possible opponent is never smart, neither on paper nor in practice, so I was hoping that Darren would recognize that, at the very least.

Darren tries to be cool, and introduces himself. Seth responds in kind, and tries to reach into his bag to show Darren that he isn't dangero-

No, no, I'm not kidding, that's the train of thought that Seth actually had, right here, right now.

Darren, of course, interprets this as a threat, and tries to swing the katana at Seth, but Seth manages to spot it and dodge out of the way, swinging his bag at Darren and catching him square in the head. Darren manages to recover for a second attack, but is unable to find it, as Seth runs away into the Forest. Disappointed in his inability to kill, Darren continues to walk along the river, worrying that he'll never find his way off of the island if he can't bring himself to kill another human being.

Further down the river he runs into Venus Gwendolyn, while lost in thought about how unarmed Seth Malvice actually was. How he managed to sleuth this out is just "intuition" basically, but that train of thought is entirely unimportant, because he spots Venus drinking from the river on the bank across from him and decides that his chivalrous ass has to help her, because something must be wrong if she's drinking straight river water. Venus tries to lure him over, and succeeds, because the boy with the "lady-killer smile" is just so oblivious to not recognize what's going on here. The word "survive" comes up in conversation, which is enough to remind Darren of his original goal, so he swipes at her with the katana all of a sudden. I don't understand how exactly he forgot about this, or why he so instantly reverted back to attacking people, but part of me feels like Darren didn't really know that either.

Venus tries to get out of the situation by stalling, trying to talk him out of it, with the thought of seduction in the back of her mind, but Darren just answers her question of "Have you comp-letley [sic] lost your mind?" with an honest response, and tries to slash at her again. She counters by using her trademark move, Cry, which as a Water move is super-effective against Ground-types like Darren. He's lured in, has a "What have I done?!" moment, and while Venus hugs him out of thanks for sparing his life, she steals his katana and bonks him on the head with the hilt before running off.

He has a flashback - no, an imaginary mind-sequence now - where he sees Maximilian, who makes fun of him for losing to a girl. Darren snaps out of it, realizing he's still standing, and makes one last grab for the girl. Venus, however, gets around this attack, managing to steal his sheath as well before sprinting away. Darren realizes just how useless he is, but also manages to rally himself to kill someone unarmed by befriending them and then betraying them, like Venus apparently did to him.

This is less likely to work for Darren, for reasons that I don't feel like I need to state.

For his final thread, Darren wanders into the residential district, looking for people by knocking on the doors of houses. He rings the doorbell of the house that Paris Persphone, the Gossip King, had been sleeping in, which also contains Nessy Guthrie, unbeknownst to either of them. Darren asks to be admitted inside, and Paris, for some reason, allows him in, showing him kindness. So far, it actually looks like Darren's plan is working out!

Then, Garry Dodd shows up, covered in blood. He greets Paris with an ominous "We meet again," and is still invited in by Paris. All of this plays out while Nessy watches through a hole in the door, waiting around for something to happen. Garry reveals that the blood on him isn't entirely his own, and Paris throws some of the room's glass christmas ornaments at him, trying to cut Darren with one of the glass shards as well. After stunning Darren with the ornament, he tries to choke him with the plug-in cord thing for the tree lights, or something. Eventually, Paris relaxes his grip, and Darren elbows him off, stands up, but then gives out, basically already dead.

Darren's death is incredibly confusing to me and if anyone can explain what exactly happened I'd be willing to hear it.

Would I recommend this kid? He kind of just flounders around for a bit and then dies without doing much of anything, and you'll see all of him there is to offer if you read some of the other more notable kids from this version. He doesn't do much of anything at all except die, and he doesn't explore many of the plot-lines and threads that were available to explore were there time in pre-game for him. For these reasons, I'm not sure what there is to gain from reading Darren. He isn't the worst kid from V2 - you could argue that he's not really bad through any fault of his own - but he's far from the best or even noteworthy.

A quick one before the eternal worm devours us all, please.
~~~~~ Creativity's Burning Pyre ~~~~~
[+] spoiler
- Violet Schmidt: "Well, sure, I guess I can try and help with that. Ever read Corpus Hermetica? It'll make understanding this easier." Memory-1, Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2, Pregame-3

- Lucas Diaz: "I'd apologize, but I don't want to dig things up all over again, y'know?" Memory-1, Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2

- Max Rudolph: "What the people need is a common banner under which to unite. It might not be what you want, but the fact of the matter is..." Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2

- Liberty "Bert" Wren: "At eight? Let me see if that fits into my schedule. Been real busy lately." Facebook, Pregame-1
[+] spoiler
/ - G051: Lili Williams: "Stop..." Memory-1, Pregame-1, Island-1, Island-2, Island-3, Island-4, Island-5, Island-6, Island-7, Island-8, Island-9, Island-10, Island-11, Island-12, Island-13, Island-14, Island-15, Island-16, Island-17, Island-18, Island-19.

/ - B043: Arthur Bernstein: "I...I'll...I'll..." Memory-1, Meanwhile-2, Island-1, Island-2, Island-3, Island-4, Island-5, Island-6, Island-7, Meanwhile-1
[+] spoiler
- insert of lucky br8k!!!!!!!!
- insert of O.B. - white kid who is involved in politics and has divorced rich parents and issues with feeling emotions
- self-styled detective
- normie
- lou reed doing a gay voice
- insert of F.G.D. - black kid who wears a pizza hat and plays trumpet
- cute thing
- Darl from As I Lay Dying
- insert of A.B. my dorkass little brother who fancies himself a linguist and gets on my nerves
- good lives make bad stories
- insert of N.T. another floutist because I havent done one of those already
- hillbilly
- someone who doesnt "have a good time making allies" as an advantage
- pine barrens monster from the family that has a ghost butler
- David Foster Wallace
- furry
- myself again
- insert of K.D. a pianist and if you thought bert was smol, hohohohoho
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Ruggahissy
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 10th, 2010, 2:07 am

August 28th, 2017, 5:56 pm #182

[+] spoiler
[+] spoiler
- Today at 8:38 PM
imagine this happening in life
and you pissed off a cop and he made you live with some incontinent sodafreak

05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not kill a policeman
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal his helmet
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not defecate in his helmet and mail it to his grieving family.
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal it again

17:06 Ruggawork An orison is a prayer
17:07 trash i don't know why i thought it was a bird
17:07 trash who looks at random ass words and thinks "huh what does that mean? whatever it's probably a bird"

14:11 Kalopsia I HEARD FURRIES AND I CAME AS FAST AS I COULD.
14:11 Imehal Lovely.
14:11 Imehal Read that again.

20:16Outfoxd I SAID I'M TAKIN IT BACK FROM THE SALTINE ESTABLISHMENT
20:16Meeemz Half the drag queens on Drag Race would beg to differ.
20:16Outfoxd EVERYONE KNOWS ALL DANCE CAME FROM AFRICA
20:17Outfoxd YOU CRACKAS NEED TO PUT SOME CHEESE ON YOSELF AND GO SIT ON A SNACK TRAY SOMEWHERE

21:07craft i
21:07craft am a fan of blowjbs.
21:07craft nods sagely
21:07Rugga ?
21:07Rugga Does that mean you get a lot of them or give a lot?
21:07craft yes
21:07craft wait
21:07Rugga ....



22:31Mimi THATS WHAT I THPGUTH
22:31Mimi THOUGHTU
22:31mudkip MIMI'S TURN
22:31Ruggahissy Thougt
22:31Ruggahissy THOUGHT
22:31Mimi HOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy We got it
22:31Mimi THOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy WE GOT IT
22:31Mimi we did good
22:32Mimi we're a good team

22:46 Meeemz I love dicks, though
22:46 Meeemz er
22:46 Rugga Sig quote
22:46 NaftUm
22:46 Meeemz dicky characters
22:46 Meeemz GOD NO

19:45 BikrikiI am pretty sure we can built a bridge to jerking off

00:11 Mimi DOESN'T FOAM BREAK EASILY
00:11 Ruggahissy Not if you wrap it in duct tape
00:11 MurderWeasel There's a fiberglass core.
00:12 MurderWeasel And the foam is some special sort you buy directly from another dimension using souls as currency or something.
00:12 Ruggahissy.........

14:42 Bikriki JA! Stick it in ze boot!
14:43 Rugga I LOVE THIS KID
14:43 Bikriki adds that to list of sexual euphemisms
14:43 Skyler_Phone You have a list?
14:43 Bikriki <.<
14:43 Bikriki >.>
14:43 Bikriki No...

Victoria says:
Oh wait, I totally forgot to tell you last night because I was busy whoring
Mimi says:
STORY
OF
MY
LIFE

16:42 KamiKaze I've always wondered what using a fleshlight feels like.
16:42 KamiKaze Too bad I'm not special because God didn't give me a penis. ):

17:46 Dom LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART, NOT YOUR VAGOO

Ruggahissy this dress makes me feel like I should be having tea with the mad hatter. Not getting felt up by drunk Germans
Dom don't let them go down the rab-
Ruggahissy BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dom SO WORTH IT

09:51 Vicky We did a good job, didn't we, Meemz?
09:51 Mimi not really, no

03:19 GeneralGoose*BUT HE'S GONNA THINK IT'S A SPOON. OR MY PENIS. WHICH IT ISN'T*

23:15 Cluevara ICE CREAM MAKES YOU FAT YOU LARDY LARD BUTT.


[+] spoiler
Jonah Heartsgrave: If you need to talk I'll listen.
Lori Martin: You're so stuck up.
Tirzah Foss: Let's have some fun.
[+] spoiler

v6
Caleb Diamond: Silly sacrificer
Hazel Jung: Abandoned actress
v5
Amaranta Montalvo: Pageant Winner
Michelle Wexler: Vegetarian sweetheart
Paris Ardennes : Scheming holy man

v4
Ethan Kent : The smartest jerk
Sally Connelley: Dainty meanie
Nick LeMonde : Eternal optimist
Isabel Guerra: Sad little girl
Autumn O'Leary: Lonely redhead
Mary-Ann Warren: Crumbling romantic
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Skraal
Player
Skraal
Player
Joined: January 23rd, 2012, 11:55 am

August 28th, 2017, 6:05 pm #183

Alright, so right off, we can see that Roland Kelly, also known as R.Kelly, is a Republican, and is written by laZardo. With that, you can tell that there’s no way that this kid won’t be an asshole. His profile doesn’t have much in it besides politics, though in one of the later paragraphs, it mentions that Roland is part of something called the “Valenti Syndicate”. I’m not exactly sure what that is, but I assume it’s yet another one of Denton’s many street gangs. As for his disadvantages, I don’t think “has never fought with melee weapons before” and “is accustomed to living in an urban/suburban environment” really count as disadvantages, seeing as I’d expect those to be the norm for most high school students. Then again, this is Denton, New Jersey, where every other person seems to be a gang member or a murderous psychopath inches from snapping, so what do I know?

His only pregame thread is rather confusing, with laZardo and Xaldien re-doing the opening posts several times, each time changing the manner in how Kristey initially approaches Damien. Damien is consistently terrified that Kristey is about to murder him, though her own narration gives no indication that she has anything close to that sort of intent. Shortly after the two of them meet up, all of laZardo’s other characters walk into the thread and immediately begin threatening to kill Damien for no apparent reason. Kristey stands up to defend him and stabs Roland in the neck with a pair of scissors. We don’t get to see anything of Roland’s reaction to this other than the fact that the other characters hear him scream. He’s basically an NPC in this scene, his lack of importance highlighted by the fact that his name is consistently misspelled by the other handlers and the fact that laZ directly refers to him as an NPC in the OOC notes. After a tense standoff, the bullies let Damien go, and imply that they plan to kill Kristey and Damien at some point in the future as retribution for standing up to them. Roland says nothing over the course of this entire scene. The whole event felt rather ridiculous and over the top, but given the overall tone of V2, I guess I’ll have to let it slide.

Shortly after the beginning of V2 proper, Roland wakes up in a confession booth in the church. The first half of the awakening post isn’t too bad, with Roland taking a while to come to his senses, trying to make out where he is as the knockout gas wears off. I actually thought it was interesting that his first assumption is that he’s been buried alive, and his first few paragraphs give a decent feeling of claustrophobia. Unfortunately, the trouble starts once Roland looks down at his bag and realizes that the terrorists have stamped it with the name of R. Kelly, the well-known African-American R&B artist. Seeing the name of a famous black man on his bag awakens Roland’s prejudice against ethnic minorities (because he’s a Republican, get it? >_<) and he loudly shouts out a racial slur, focusing his anger on an unnamed terrorist, who happened to be black, and Danya, whom Roland assumes without evidence to be non-white.

He gives a long and drawn out prayer, because of course he would, before exiting the booth. I did like that he does acknowledge that he isn’t too good of a person and feels regret for some of the bad things that he’s done in the past. He then quotes Psalm 23:4, taking care to mention that he doesn’t mean anything sexual from the use of the words “rod” and “staff”. I’m not sure why anyone would take the phrase in that way, but laZ seems to be quite concerned about the possibility, even mentioning in the OOC notes that he applauds anyone who doesn’t notice anything sexual about the phrase, “Tightly clutching his staff in one hand, Roland slowly pushed the confessional door open just a crack…”. This pointing out of double entendres in his writing seems to be a strange fixation for Roland’s handler, but I suppose it’s not worth dwelling on.

Roland watches the escalating confrontation between Mariavel and the others in the church from his hiding place, debating whether or not it would be a good idea to step in. He fears that he will get killed in the conflict, but on the other hand, he worries that letting his classmates die would reflect badly on his god-fearing, conservative image. This debate does not get resolved, as Roland pushes the booth’s door open by accident, exposing himself without actually having to make a decision concerning the morality of entangling himself in the conflict happening outside his hiding place. He remains frozen in fear for a while before trying to calm down the increasingly hysterical Adam Amato. Almost immediately after he speaks, the church is declared a danger zone. Roland gets out of there, worrying that Franco Sebberts is going to track him down and kill him, just like he murdered Marvin, another one of the minor bully characters from Roland’s pregame thread.

As an aside, though his was barely in his pregame thread at all, I like that the neck wound that he received in it continues to inconvenience him, giving his character a sense of continuity from that otherwise pointless scene.

Roland’s next post is a rather long songpost. He experiences a humanizing bout of survivor’s guilt as he hears Kasumi White’s collar explode. His internal monologue makes a brief reference to the Left Behind series as well as multiple mentions of how much he loves America to yet again establish that yes, this guy is a conservative evangelical Christian. He angsts over the fact that one of his classmates had just died and, prays for forgiveness for not attempting to save her.

Alice Nichols walks in and throws a frisbee to him from inside the slaughterhouse before promptly going inactive. Roland goes inside, looking for her, the smell of death inside the slaughterhouse causing him to reflect on how God probably isn’t happy with him for all the terrible things he did before he came to the island. For a while, it actually looks like Roland is going to attempt to redeem himself, experiencing genuine regret for his actions.

Unfortunately, this character development is cut short as he walks in on Alice and immediately loses his mind as the announcement starts. His eyes scan over her “voluptuous” figure and her revealing clothing, which freaks him out for by now obvious reasons, before mistaking her face for that of Damien Carter-Madison’s. Roland comes to the conclusion that he is in hell, and what stands before him is Damien, somehow magically transformed into the metaphorical Whore of Babylon, and sent by God to punish him for his sins. Roland charges at Alice, knocking her down and quickly executes her without much resistance.

His collar begins beeping, and Roland tries desperately to escape what he assumes is now a danger zone. He flees in a panic, before the narrative mentions an explosion, followed by the words, B57 - Kelly, R - DEAD.

Immediately after the death tag, it is revealed that Roland’s collar detonating was only part of his hallucination, and he thanks God for giving him a chance to redeem himself for his sins by committing brutal murder. Of course. No actual redemption arc for you, silly republican. He then runs off into the night, realizing too late that he forgot his supplies back in the danger zone that he escaped from.

After this scene, Roland’s narrative really goes off the rails. He believes himself to be in purgatory, and assumes that everything that happens after this point to be a simulation set up by God to test him. He happens upon a sobbing Michiro Duli, and attempts to comfort her in another rare moment of humanity. After Michiro manages to convince him that Dungeons and Dragons isn’t some sort of tool of the Devil, they sit down and attempt to play a game. This, of course doesn’t get too far, as Roland immediately begins to hallucinate that Michiro is actually Damien Carter-Madison, back from the “dead”. After a brief struggle, he mercilessly kills her and mutilates her body in order to ensure that she won’t somehow come back to life. He quotes the same verse as in his first post (though thankfully with no OOC note this time), as he bandages his wounds, coming to the conclusion that God won’t let him into heaven until he murders Damien Carter-Madison enough times to act as penance for his sins.

Roland then enters the Hospital, convinced that everyone on the island who isn’t him is actually Damien Carter-Madison in disguise. He refers to the flashbang grenades that he looted off the corpse of Tanesha Lexx as “holy hand grenades” and thanks the Lord for giving him better weapons with which to smite Damien.

He encounters another player, Dan Johnson, and a fight begins in short order. After stunning “Damien” with a flashbang, he rushes into the fight. As the stunning effect wears off, Dan quickly overpowers the heavily injured R. Kelly and breaks his arm. As Dan leans down to finish off his opponent, Roland pulls the pin out of another grenade with his good arm and sets it off mere inches from Dan’s face. Roland uses this moment of respite to roll away from Dan, scrabbling on the ground looking for anything to use as a weapon, terrified that he’s about to miss his shot at getting into heaven. As Dan descends upon him wielding a hockey stick (which Roland hallucinates as being a giant scythe), Roland’s hands happen upon the syringe that Dan used to kill Edgar Judah earlier. He injects air into Dan’s veins, causing him to collapse before Roland disarms him and again, brutally executes Damien Carter-Madison for the third time.

Roland then hallucinates a brief conversation with Lucifer who tells him that he never had a chance to get into heaven, and that he’s been in hell this whole time. Roland accepts this surprisingly easily. Soon forgetting about the seemingly earth-shattering revelation that he had just received, he proceeds to create a makeshift splint for his broken arm out from the aforementioned hockey stick and exits the hospital with “Damien’s” stun gun.

His next thread begins with Peter Rosenthal and Andi Ayala having an extremely awkward sex scene before killing themselves. Drawn into the house by the sound of gunshots, Roland looks upon the two bodies before him with disgust, not because the two characters are dead, but because Roland considers gay people to be “freaks of nature”. He grabs the gun that they had shot themselves with and quickly exits the scene without much reflection, following a trail of blood splatters which he assumes is a marker sent by God to tell him where to go next.

The trail leads him to the edge of a cliff, and Roland reacts with frustration at the dead end. He throws his weapons over the edge, concluding that Damien has been killed for good, and, despite this, God has no intention of letting him into heaven. This is supposed to be a massive shock, but if falls flat because we found this out about this two threads ago and Roland didn’t seem to care. Unsure of what to do next, Roland contemplates suicide, the pain of his wounds continuing to dog him. After a rather long songpost, Roland concludes that there must be another way for him to get into heaven, and leaves to go search for it.

After he leaves the cliffs, Roland comes upon the real Damien Carter-Madison, seemingly back from the dead for the third time. Roland immediately forgets about everything that happened in the previous thread and shifts back to believing that he’s in purgatory again. The two of them have a surprisingly calm and relaxed conversation, considering that the subject matter is mocking the students who have already died, followed by an agreement that only one of them will be able to leave this encounter alive. They agree to square off and fight, and before Roland can finish his final sentence, Damien pulls out his revolver and blows Roland’s head off. R. Kelly dies, feeling at peace with himself despite the fact that until now he had accepted that Damien murdering him would send him on a one-way trip to hell. The parts of the post written from Roland’s point of view are rather shallow and uninteresting, confirming the fact that his only purpose on this island was to be little more than an NPC within Damien’s story.

Overall, I was massively disappointed by Roland Kelly. His story didn’t start out too bad, really. He was kind of an asshole, and aware of that fact as he started to proceed down the beginnings of what could have been an interesting character arc. Unfortunately, this is then ruined by him going insane at basically the flip of a switch and spending the rest of his story obsessed with another one of his handler’s characters. My recommendation is to read his first two island threads, and just pretend that he died at the moment his death tag comes up in the second one. His character arc is still cut disappointingly short, but at least you won’t have to be subjected to the remaining story, which makes very little sense and contradicts itself many, many times, for the sole purpose of pimping how great Damien Carter-Madison is.

Alrighty, time for another character! Thankfully we've almost reached the final five.
[+] spoiler
Cards

Characters:
Timothy Abrams
Weapon: Replica Flamethrower
Current Status: Deceased
Kyle Fitzpatrick
Weapon: Bulletproof Vest
Current Status: Deceased
Eliza Patton (Adopted from laZardo)
Weapon: M-1 Garand
Current Status: Deceased
[+] spoiler
Cards

Characters:
Oliver Lacroix Current Status: Alive
William "Bill" Dover Current Status: Alive
Salvatore "Sal" Bonaventura Current Status: Alive
Scott Fischer Current Status: Alive
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Ruggahissy
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 10th, 2010, 2:07 am

August 28th, 2017, 6:18 pm #184

Skraal: Whitney Acosta

6 students remain
[+] spoiler
[+] spoiler
- Today at 8:38 PM
imagine this happening in life
and you pissed off a cop and he made you live with some incontinent sodafreak

05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not kill a policeman
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal his helmet
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not defecate in his helmet and mail it to his grieving family.
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal it again

17:06 Ruggawork An orison is a prayer
17:07 trash i don't know why i thought it was a bird
17:07 trash who looks at random ass words and thinks "huh what does that mean? whatever it's probably a bird"

14:11 Kalopsia I HEARD FURRIES AND I CAME AS FAST AS I COULD.
14:11 Imehal Lovely.
14:11 Imehal Read that again.

20:16Outfoxd I SAID I'M TAKIN IT BACK FROM THE SALTINE ESTABLISHMENT
20:16Meeemz Half the drag queens on Drag Race would beg to differ.
20:16Outfoxd EVERYONE KNOWS ALL DANCE CAME FROM AFRICA
20:17Outfoxd YOU CRACKAS NEED TO PUT SOME CHEESE ON YOSELF AND GO SIT ON A SNACK TRAY SOMEWHERE

21:07craft i
21:07craft am a fan of blowjbs.
21:07craft nods sagely
21:07Rugga ?
21:07Rugga Does that mean you get a lot of them or give a lot?
21:07craft yes
21:07craft wait
21:07Rugga ....



22:31Mimi THATS WHAT I THPGUTH
22:31Mimi THOUGHTU
22:31mudkip MIMI'S TURN
22:31Ruggahissy Thougt
22:31Ruggahissy THOUGHT
22:31Mimi HOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy We got it
22:31Mimi THOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy WE GOT IT
22:31Mimi we did good
22:32Mimi we're a good team

22:46 Meeemz I love dicks, though
22:46 Meeemz er
22:46 Rugga Sig quote
22:46 NaftUm
22:46 Meeemz dicky characters
22:46 Meeemz GOD NO

19:45 BikrikiI am pretty sure we can built a bridge to jerking off

00:11 Mimi DOESN'T FOAM BREAK EASILY
00:11 Ruggahissy Not if you wrap it in duct tape
00:11 MurderWeasel There's a fiberglass core.
00:12 MurderWeasel And the foam is some special sort you buy directly from another dimension using souls as currency or something.
00:12 Ruggahissy.........

14:42 Bikriki JA! Stick it in ze boot!
14:43 Rugga I LOVE THIS KID
14:43 Bikriki adds that to list of sexual euphemisms
14:43 Skyler_Phone You have a list?
14:43 Bikriki <.<
14:43 Bikriki >.>
14:43 Bikriki No...

Victoria says:
Oh wait, I totally forgot to tell you last night because I was busy whoring
Mimi says:
STORY
OF
MY
LIFE

16:42 KamiKaze I've always wondered what using a fleshlight feels like.
16:42 KamiKaze Too bad I'm not special because God didn't give me a penis. ):

17:46 Dom LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART, NOT YOUR VAGOO

Ruggahissy this dress makes me feel like I should be having tea with the mad hatter. Not getting felt up by drunk Germans
Dom don't let them go down the rab-
Ruggahissy BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dom SO WORTH IT

09:51 Vicky We did a good job, didn't we, Meemz?
09:51 Mimi not really, no

03:19 GeneralGoose*BUT HE'S GONNA THINK IT'S A SPOON. OR MY PENIS. WHICH IT ISN'T*

23:15 Cluevara ICE CREAM MAKES YOU FAT YOU LARDY LARD BUTT.


[+] spoiler
Jonah Heartsgrave: If you need to talk I'll listen.
Lori Martin: You're so stuck up.
Tirzah Foss: Let's have some fun.
[+] spoiler

v6
Caleb Diamond: Silly sacrificer
Hazel Jung: Abandoned actress
v5
Amaranta Montalvo: Pageant Winner
Michelle Wexler: Vegetarian sweetheart
Paris Ardennes : Scheming holy man

v4
Ethan Kent : The smartest jerk
Sally Connelley: Dainty meanie
Nick LeMonde : Eternal optimist
Isabel Guerra: Sad little girl
Autumn O'Leary: Lonely redhead
Mary-Ann Warren: Crumbling romantic
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CrossbowPig
Contender
Joined: June 28th, 2016, 7:37 pm

August 28th, 2017, 6:35 pm #185

These kids just get shorter and shorter! Well, I mean, this guy's technically not very short, at six feet tall, but you know what I mean. He's another guy who got inactive killed, this time by Bryan. Let's just jump right into it now, shall we?

Jordan McKieman is a seventeen year old kid from Franklin High, and he can't decide what exactly he wants out of the things he does for fun, even though he is somehow good at all of them yet still doesn't stick to one thing for very long. He's apparently good looking, though of average build, which somehow doesn't really make too much sense to me but I'll take it. I'm just glad that he isn't younger than me, like the last few kids.

His mother "wears the pants" in the family, as a successful trial lawyer, while his father is a washed-up former musician from whom Jordan gets the majority of his personality. His dabbling in interests leads to a reputation as someone that's good at everything, which leads to many challenging him at whatever hobby they choose, eventually boring Jordan to the point where he just throws whatever competition they choose. The most fitting conclusion about this kid is just that he doesn't apply himself, and that he has the capability to do whatever he wants, but chooses not to because it's all just too much work, or something.

His advantages are that he doesn't get attached to stuff, and that he has a lot of skills. His disadvantages are that he gives up easily and doesn't follow through.

The weapon he gets assigned? Goggles.

I can already tell that this is going to be something of an uneventful ride.

Jordan's first thread, and first post, are the only things done by his original handler, OnceForgotten. He wanders over to the ranch, musing on how quiet everything is, and investigates the building. However, when he sees someone else, he panics, but steels himself to meet someone else. After all, sneaking everywhere can only last so long, he realizes, and goes over to the meet them at the entrance to the barn. This post shows some promise, but it was promise not to be fulfilled, as from here on out Jordan is given to Cyco, as his handler goes inactive and never returns.

We next see Jordan in the record store at the mall, while Tori and Bryan walk around. In a flashback, Jordan decides to turn tail and walk away after hearing the confrontation inside of the barn, and ever since then he's been hiding out and waiting for everything to blow over. However, he hears noises, noticing Bryan's footsteps, and walks over to the corner, seeing that Bryan carries a shotgun. He's content with just leaving the area until he spots Tori, whom he speed walks towards vigorously, dropping his backpack. Tori doesn't bother to look, thinks that Bryan is the one running towards her, and promptly freaks out when she notices that this isn't her companion. He goes in for the kill, wrapping a hand around her neck, as we get another flashback to his walk to the mall, as he searched for a weapon to replace his goggles and hears a gunshot. I like this method of handling the inactivity - flashing back to the time between threads in an attempt to establish a more cohesive narrative link is welcome, I feel.

He reaches out for a blade on a nearby counter, but Tori manages to elbow free and get to it before him, slashing his ankle out. Jordan falls, but pulls himself up on the counter. Unfortunately for himself, Tori is waiting, and tears his mouth open with her knife, Jordan grasping at the bleeding parts of himself, screaming one last desperate war cry, trying to rally his body for one last lunge, only for Bryan to arrive and shoot him square in the leg. He falls, his mangled leg giving out, and breaks his neck when he hits the ground.

That was quicker than I expected. I could count how many posts this guy had on two hands. I do think that Cyco handled him pretty well, though. Don't know how much I'd recommend him alone, but he's still a decently enough written kid, and a good example of inactivity done well in V2, so on those grounds I think he's worth comparing to someone whose inactivity wasn't handled the best.

Last hurrah! Fight to the finish! One more kid!
~~~~~ Creativity's Burning Pyre ~~~~~
[+] spoiler
- Violet Schmidt: "Well, sure, I guess I can try and help with that. Ever read Corpus Hermetica? It'll make understanding this easier." Memory-1, Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2, Pregame-3

- Lucas Diaz: "I'd apologize, but I don't want to dig things up all over again, y'know?" Memory-1, Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2

- Max Rudolph: "What the people need is a common banner under which to unite. It might not be what you want, but the fact of the matter is..." Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2

- Liberty "Bert" Wren: "At eight? Let me see if that fits into my schedule. Been real busy lately." Facebook, Pregame-1
[+] spoiler
/ - G051: Lili Williams: "Stop..." Memory-1, Pregame-1, Island-1, Island-2, Island-3, Island-4, Island-5, Island-6, Island-7, Island-8, Island-9, Island-10, Island-11, Island-12, Island-13, Island-14, Island-15, Island-16, Island-17, Island-18, Island-19.

/ - B043: Arthur Bernstein: "I...I'll...I'll..." Memory-1, Meanwhile-2, Island-1, Island-2, Island-3, Island-4, Island-5, Island-6, Island-7, Meanwhile-1
[+] spoiler
- insert of lucky br8k!!!!!!!!
- insert of O.B. - white kid who is involved in politics and has divorced rich parents and issues with feeling emotions
- self-styled detective
- normie
- lou reed doing a gay voice
- insert of F.G.D. - black kid who wears a pizza hat and plays trumpet
- cute thing
- Darl from As I Lay Dying
- insert of A.B. my dorkass little brother who fancies himself a linguist and gets on my nerves
- good lives make bad stories
- insert of N.T. another floutist because I havent done one of those already
- hillbilly
- someone who doesnt "have a good time making allies" as an advantage
- pine barrens monster from the family that has a ghost butler
- David Foster Wallace
- furry
- myself again
- insert of K.D. a pianist and if you thought bert was smol, hohohohoho
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Ruggahissy
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 10th, 2010, 2:07 am

August 28th, 2017, 6:39 pm #186

Crowssbow: Kristey Burrowell

5 KiDs reMaIN
[+] spoiler
[+] spoiler
- Today at 8:38 PM
imagine this happening in life
and you pissed off a cop and he made you live with some incontinent sodafreak

05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not kill a policeman
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal his helmet
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not defecate in his helmet and mail it to his grieving family.
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal it again

17:06 Ruggawork An orison is a prayer
17:07 trash i don't know why i thought it was a bird
17:07 trash who looks at random ass words and thinks "huh what does that mean? whatever it's probably a bird"

14:11 Kalopsia I HEARD FURRIES AND I CAME AS FAST AS I COULD.
14:11 Imehal Lovely.
14:11 Imehal Read that again.

20:16Outfoxd I SAID I'M TAKIN IT BACK FROM THE SALTINE ESTABLISHMENT
20:16Meeemz Half the drag queens on Drag Race would beg to differ.
20:16Outfoxd EVERYONE KNOWS ALL DANCE CAME FROM AFRICA
20:17Outfoxd YOU CRACKAS NEED TO PUT SOME CHEESE ON YOSELF AND GO SIT ON A SNACK TRAY SOMEWHERE

21:07craft i
21:07craft am a fan of blowjbs.
21:07craft nods sagely
21:07Rugga ?
21:07Rugga Does that mean you get a lot of them or give a lot?
21:07craft yes
21:07craft wait
21:07Rugga ....



22:31Mimi THATS WHAT I THPGUTH
22:31Mimi THOUGHTU
22:31mudkip MIMI'S TURN
22:31Ruggahissy Thougt
22:31Ruggahissy THOUGHT
22:31Mimi HOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy We got it
22:31Mimi THOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy WE GOT IT
22:31Mimi we did good
22:32Mimi we're a good team

22:46 Meeemz I love dicks, though
22:46 Meeemz er
22:46 Rugga Sig quote
22:46 NaftUm
22:46 Meeemz dicky characters
22:46 Meeemz GOD NO

19:45 BikrikiI am pretty sure we can built a bridge to jerking off

00:11 Mimi DOESN'T FOAM BREAK EASILY
00:11 Ruggahissy Not if you wrap it in duct tape
00:11 MurderWeasel There's a fiberglass core.
00:12 MurderWeasel And the foam is some special sort you buy directly from another dimension using souls as currency or something.
00:12 Ruggahissy.........

14:42 Bikriki JA! Stick it in ze boot!
14:43 Rugga I LOVE THIS KID
14:43 Bikriki adds that to list of sexual euphemisms
14:43 Skyler_Phone You have a list?
14:43 Bikriki <.<
14:43 Bikriki >.>
14:43 Bikriki No...

Victoria says:
Oh wait, I totally forgot to tell you last night because I was busy whoring
Mimi says:
STORY
OF
MY
LIFE

16:42 KamiKaze I've always wondered what using a fleshlight feels like.
16:42 KamiKaze Too bad I'm not special because God didn't give me a penis. ):

17:46 Dom LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART, NOT YOUR VAGOO

Ruggahissy this dress makes me feel like I should be having tea with the mad hatter. Not getting felt up by drunk Germans
Dom don't let them go down the rab-
Ruggahissy BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dom SO WORTH IT

09:51 Vicky We did a good job, didn't we, Meemz?
09:51 Mimi not really, no

03:19 GeneralGoose*BUT HE'S GONNA THINK IT'S A SPOON. OR MY PENIS. WHICH IT ISN'T*

23:15 Cluevara ICE CREAM MAKES YOU FAT YOU LARDY LARD BUTT.


[+] spoiler
Jonah Heartsgrave: If you need to talk I'll listen.
Lori Martin: You're so stuck up.
Tirzah Foss: Let's have some fun.
[+] spoiler

v6
Caleb Diamond: Silly sacrificer
Hazel Jung: Abandoned actress
v5
Amaranta Montalvo: Pageant Winner
Michelle Wexler: Vegetarian sweetheart
Paris Ardennes : Scheming holy man

v4
Ethan Kent : The smartest jerk
Sally Connelley: Dainty meanie
Nick LeMonde : Eternal optimist
Isabel Guerra: Sad little girl
Autumn O'Leary: Lonely redhead
Mary-Ann Warren: Crumbling romantic
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Kermit
Contender
Joined: March 31st, 2017, 3:30 am

August 28th, 2017, 7:03 pm #187

wrote: Ruggahissy - Today at 1:01 PM
to see this to the end with us
this is your fault
ugh fine

gimme another
"Kermit you are the guy in the horror movie that finds a book bound in human skin and decides to read out loud what is inside for fun" - some mean lady named Ruggahissy
[+] spoiler
V1 art!

v2 art ;~;
Sadly kermit looked at a mariavel. It was so sad... such a sad mariavel... like him... he only waned a normal life... was that too much to ask? was it?
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Ruggahissy
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 10th, 2010, 2:07 am

August 28th, 2017, 7:05 pm #188

kermit got Burton.


KermittimreK - Today at 12:04 PM
Me too, Kevin, me too
OH MY GOD BURTON YES
[+] spoiler
[+] spoiler
- Today at 8:38 PM
imagine this happening in life
and you pissed off a cop and he made you live with some incontinent sodafreak

05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not kill a policeman
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal his helmet
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not defecate in his helmet and mail it to his grieving family.
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal it again

17:06 Ruggawork An orison is a prayer
17:07 trash i don't know why i thought it was a bird
17:07 trash who looks at random ass words and thinks "huh what does that mean? whatever it's probably a bird"

14:11 Kalopsia I HEARD FURRIES AND I CAME AS FAST AS I COULD.
14:11 Imehal Lovely.
14:11 Imehal Read that again.

20:16Outfoxd I SAID I'M TAKIN IT BACK FROM THE SALTINE ESTABLISHMENT
20:16Meeemz Half the drag queens on Drag Race would beg to differ.
20:16Outfoxd EVERYONE KNOWS ALL DANCE CAME FROM AFRICA
20:17Outfoxd YOU CRACKAS NEED TO PUT SOME CHEESE ON YOSELF AND GO SIT ON A SNACK TRAY SOMEWHERE

21:07craft i
21:07craft am a fan of blowjbs.
21:07craft nods sagely
21:07Rugga ?
21:07Rugga Does that mean you get a lot of them or give a lot?
21:07craft yes
21:07craft wait
21:07Rugga ....



22:31Mimi THATS WHAT I THPGUTH
22:31Mimi THOUGHTU
22:31mudkip MIMI'S TURN
22:31Ruggahissy Thougt
22:31Ruggahissy THOUGHT
22:31Mimi HOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy We got it
22:31Mimi THOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy WE GOT IT
22:31Mimi we did good
22:32Mimi we're a good team

22:46 Meeemz I love dicks, though
22:46 Meeemz er
22:46 Rugga Sig quote
22:46 NaftUm
22:46 Meeemz dicky characters
22:46 Meeemz GOD NO

19:45 BikrikiI am pretty sure we can built a bridge to jerking off

00:11 Mimi DOESN'T FOAM BREAK EASILY
00:11 Ruggahissy Not if you wrap it in duct tape
00:11 MurderWeasel There's a fiberglass core.
00:12 MurderWeasel And the foam is some special sort you buy directly from another dimension using souls as currency or something.
00:12 Ruggahissy.........

14:42 Bikriki JA! Stick it in ze boot!
14:43 Rugga I LOVE THIS KID
14:43 Bikriki adds that to list of sexual euphemisms
14:43 Skyler_Phone You have a list?
14:43 Bikriki <.<
14:43 Bikriki >.>
14:43 Bikriki No...

Victoria says:
Oh wait, I totally forgot to tell you last night because I was busy whoring
Mimi says:
STORY
OF
MY
LIFE

16:42 KamiKaze I've always wondered what using a fleshlight feels like.
16:42 KamiKaze Too bad I'm not special because God didn't give me a penis. ):

17:46 Dom LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART, NOT YOUR VAGOO

Ruggahissy this dress makes me feel like I should be having tea with the mad hatter. Not getting felt up by drunk Germans
Dom don't let them go down the rab-
Ruggahissy BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dom SO WORTH IT

09:51 Vicky We did a good job, didn't we, Meemz?
09:51 Mimi not really, no

03:19 GeneralGoose*BUT HE'S GONNA THINK IT'S A SPOON. OR MY PENIS. WHICH IT ISN'T*

23:15 Cluevara ICE CREAM MAKES YOU FAT YOU LARDY LARD BUTT.


[+] spoiler
Jonah Heartsgrave: If you need to talk I'll listen.
Lori Martin: You're so stuck up.
Tirzah Foss: Let's have some fun.
[+] spoiler

v6
Caleb Diamond: Silly sacrificer
Hazel Jung: Abandoned actress
v5
Amaranta Montalvo: Pageant Winner
Michelle Wexler: Vegetarian sweetheart
Paris Ardennes : Scheming holy man

v4
Ethan Kent : The smartest jerk
Sally Connelley: Dainty meanie
Nick LeMonde : Eternal optimist
Isabel Guerra: Sad little girl
Autumn O'Leary: Lonely redhead
Mary-Ann Warren: Crumbling romantic
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Ruggahissy
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 10th, 2010, 2:07 am

August 28th, 2017, 7:17 pm #189

I forced Deamon to participate because he hasn't been driven half-mad yet.
He gets:

Deamon: Mai Oshinari
[+] spoiler
[+] spoiler
- Today at 8:38 PM
imagine this happening in life
and you pissed off a cop and he made you live with some incontinent sodafreak

05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not kill a policeman
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal his helmet
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not defecate in his helmet and mail it to his grieving family.
05:57 NotAFlyingToyYou would not steal it again

17:06 Ruggawork An orison is a prayer
17:07 trash i don't know why i thought it was a bird
17:07 trash who looks at random ass words and thinks "huh what does that mean? whatever it's probably a bird"

14:11 Kalopsia I HEARD FURRIES AND I CAME AS FAST AS I COULD.
14:11 Imehal Lovely.
14:11 Imehal Read that again.

20:16Outfoxd I SAID I'M TAKIN IT BACK FROM THE SALTINE ESTABLISHMENT
20:16Meeemz Half the drag queens on Drag Race would beg to differ.
20:16Outfoxd EVERYONE KNOWS ALL DANCE CAME FROM AFRICA
20:17Outfoxd YOU CRACKAS NEED TO PUT SOME CHEESE ON YOSELF AND GO SIT ON A SNACK TRAY SOMEWHERE

21:07craft i
21:07craft am a fan of blowjbs.
21:07craft nods sagely
21:07Rugga ?
21:07Rugga Does that mean you get a lot of them or give a lot?
21:07craft yes
21:07craft wait
21:07Rugga ....



22:31Mimi THATS WHAT I THPGUTH
22:31Mimi THOUGHTU
22:31mudkip MIMI'S TURN
22:31Ruggahissy Thougt
22:31Ruggahissy THOUGHT
22:31Mimi HOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy We got it
22:31Mimi THOUGHT
22:31Ruggahissy WE GOT IT
22:31Mimi we did good
22:32Mimi we're a good team

22:46 Meeemz I love dicks, though
22:46 Meeemz er
22:46 Rugga Sig quote
22:46 NaftUm
22:46 Meeemz dicky characters
22:46 Meeemz GOD NO

19:45 BikrikiI am pretty sure we can built a bridge to jerking off

00:11 Mimi DOESN'T FOAM BREAK EASILY
00:11 Ruggahissy Not if you wrap it in duct tape
00:11 MurderWeasel There's a fiberglass core.
00:12 MurderWeasel And the foam is some special sort you buy directly from another dimension using souls as currency or something.
00:12 Ruggahissy.........

14:42 Bikriki JA! Stick it in ze boot!
14:43 Rugga I LOVE THIS KID
14:43 Bikriki adds that to list of sexual euphemisms
14:43 Skyler_Phone You have a list?
14:43 Bikriki <.<
14:43 Bikriki >.>
14:43 Bikriki No...

Victoria says:
Oh wait, I totally forgot to tell you last night because I was busy whoring
Mimi says:
STORY
OF
MY
LIFE

16:42 KamiKaze I've always wondered what using a fleshlight feels like.
16:42 KamiKaze Too bad I'm not special because God didn't give me a penis. ):

17:46 Dom LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART, NOT YOUR VAGOO

Ruggahissy this dress makes me feel like I should be having tea with the mad hatter. Not getting felt up by drunk Germans
Dom don't let them go down the rab-
Ruggahissy BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dom SO WORTH IT

09:51 Vicky We did a good job, didn't we, Meemz?
09:51 Mimi not really, no

03:19 GeneralGoose*BUT HE'S GONNA THINK IT'S A SPOON. OR MY PENIS. WHICH IT ISN'T*

23:15 Cluevara ICE CREAM MAKES YOU FAT YOU LARDY LARD BUTT.


[+] spoiler
Jonah Heartsgrave: If you need to talk I'll listen.
Lori Martin: You're so stuck up.
Tirzah Foss: Let's have some fun.
[+] spoiler

v6
Caleb Diamond: Silly sacrificer
Hazel Jung: Abandoned actress
v5
Amaranta Montalvo: Pageant Winner
Michelle Wexler: Vegetarian sweetheart
Paris Ardennes : Scheming holy man

v4
Ethan Kent : The smartest jerk
Sally Connelley: Dainty meanie
Nick LeMonde : Eternal optimist
Isabel Guerra: Sad little girl
Autumn O'Leary: Lonely redhead
Mary-Ann Warren: Crumbling romantic
Quote
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Aura
Winner
Aura
Winner
Joined: December 9th, 2011, 6:39 pm

August 28th, 2017, 7:31 pm #190

Kevin Kapustiak wasn't really much of a character, in my opinion.

Most of his hobbies aren't even mentioned in his profile, and his advantage of being good in street fights pretty much comes out of nowhere. He also has no pregame, so we can jump straight into the island.

Kevin just seems to wander from one place to another without much purpose. He doesn't have a particularly strong voice, either. Also, he refers to himself as "The Wolf" in his first and last threads despite there being no mention of him having a nickname anywhere in his profile, much less being referred to as "The Wolf". In fact, Kevin's most notable quality is the fact that he suddenly starts thinking about burgers multiple times during his journey, which is somewhat amusing.

In Kevin's last thread, he switches handlers, and his personality changes entirely. Now all of a sudden he is incredibly foulmouthed and aggressive, and offers sex with Sera Wingfeld as a prize if Matt Drew manages to kill him, which is pretty gross. Kevin gets overconfident and dies when Matt's friend Rob shoots him in the back of the head, and that is that.

Kevin was never a stellar character, but the personality switch that came when he switched handlers pretty much wrecked what character he had. It's just to jarring for the guy who was just thinking about how Heaven is a land of infinite burgers to suddenly be offering a woman as a wager for a fight to the death. It's just too inconsistent, and I can't recommend him.

Another character, if you please.

[+] spoiler
v5 Characters:

B029- Matt Masters- DECEASED (114/152)

B043- Adonis Alba- DECEASED (124/152)

G051- Stacey Mordetsky- DECEASED (136/152)
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