Licinia '7 is more powerful than the sun' Vinici
To be honest there was actually a glimmer of promise to this character. Not in the concept because obviously the concept is over-the-top and way too try-hard but I mean, I can even respect that. It's a product of the time and of the writer culture of the time, and Licinia is at least internally consistent, for a while anyways her narrative manages to sell the vision of her character by being refreshingly brusque, with little tidbits of interesting language and an airs of detachment. Yes, blah blah, the backstory is stupid and the profile sucks, I'm aware, but that's just typical V2 fare anyways.
The first thread is just two posts, but they're two decent ones. Good little narrative framing device with the fly bouncing around on her still body, a little awkward language and some typos but all stuff I can overlook! I honestly thought Licinia had promise by the time I was done. The prose sold her character very well, Waffle seemed to have an at least adequate sense of narrative timing and effective and efficient usage of his words to paint a picture.
Squandered come next thread, it's all more or less thrown away. I get the sense that Waffle was working better with Licinia back when he actually didn't know what he wanted to do with her or was keeping it under wraps, but the moment she starts to lay out her vision and buy into all the angry repressed mysterious tragic girl tropes the quality of the writing takes a significant turn for the worse. Waffle had a sort of prose while working with Licinia (and I think Garry as well, from the snippets of him I saw) where when there wasn't much to explain some good qualities showed through: economy of words, a capacity for interesting visuals and narrative snippets (not so much in the way of interesting turns of phrase, the narrative style is too straightforward), and good sense of dramatic timing. But when Licinia does have a goal, that of being the vengeful killer, her writing just becomes a ton of to-the-point and super dull info dump about her motivations and backstory. Waffle cannot sell that in particular, and that is what Licinia becomes for the remainder of her two threads.
So anyways, she meets Paris, randomly opens up despite supposedly being pathologically antisocial due to implied and explicit abuse and trauma. Now I could buy this, I hypothesized that her opening up was a pseudo-hysterical manner of coping/implying the loosening of her inhibitions but the prose does not sell that, doesn't even imply it, it barely gives it lipservice at all. She has an awkwardly shoehorned in 'diary entry' sequence that is not well set up. Paris and Licinia get the team up going despite barely talking. Licinia, funnily enough, does the bulk of the conversating and prompting.
They fail transition into the residential area but getting DZ-blocked from the Lighthouse. Paris betrays Licinia and it's only really set up on his end, Licinia's own narrative pretty much fails to acknowledge the betrayal in any meaningful way. The lamest 'we are family' revelation ever with a clumsy handlercest between Garry and Licinia, and to be honest there were some interesting moments of narrative blurring of the lines between the characters that I did appreciate, I just failed to appreciate the larger whole of the posts due to bad dialogue, awkward timings, so on and so on. The death is in it's very last sentence at least poignant, which once more enforces the theory I had running headlong with my delve into Waffle's character: Waffle is a good writer, has a sense for it, but has certain bad habits that are ubiquitous at the time of V2 (infodump and a lack of respect for the dramatic impetus of major character actions like, I dunno, dying
) that drag down at the very least Licinia (Garry also seemed to be a flawed entry from what I could tell).
I kind of liked Licinia to be honest, at least for the potential, but the execution got worse and worse and she was a pretty substandard read by the time I was done with her. There isn't much to say. Just a lame read, over the top concept with weak execution.
A full set of my live notetaking while reading can be found here.