The night was young.
The sky was clear.
And they were walking. Together. Down the street, the house of the girl behind them. He wasnt quite sure where they were going. He knew that there was an end goal of somewhere but it wasnt really descriptive. For all Jeremy knew she could have been taking him back to the school or something after they went home for like, five minutes or so. Maybe she prefered dancing in regular shoes? He didnt know. Still, he trusted her, wherever they were going. BB was a cool person. A friend. Maybe more than that? Fuck, he didnt know. Point was, given her tastes in music, he supposed that they were going to have a fun time wherever they ended up going.
Where were they going? He supposed it could work as an icebreaker. He could wait and find out, but they hadnt talked much at all since theyd left her house. He wanted to talk. Theyd done it the whole night before now and there was sort of a reason for that. She was fun to talk to. So much so that he wanted to do so more.
There didnt seem to be any problem with that. So he asked:
So, uh, it okay if you tell us where were going?
"It's okay, yeah," BB said. She smiled a little. Jeremy waited. Silence filled the air again. He was sorta just waiting for her answer and he supposed it was okay and-
He laughed. Took him a while to get that, actually. She got him there.
So where are we going?
"Liberty Park," she said. "They don't usually close it up at night, and if they did we can just hop the fence."
Alright, cool. It was. Liberty Park was the park he generally didnt really see much of compared to Sumac, or the playground near his place. Not as much over at Liberty Park. Nothing that could hold his interest. Still, he supposed there was a reason others went there, and given that this was the place BB wanted to take him to he supposed that there was something in here of value to her. He wouldnt ask why. Hed let her surprise him. That was like, the gentlemanly thing to do, or something. The nice thing to do. She took him out when he was planning on staying home, shed entertained him for the whole night, it was only fair that he keep his mouth shut for whatever this was. Stay silent, keep walking, and see what laid on the other end.
And whatever it was, he couldnt wait.
Jeremy Frasier was going to die on this island.
((continued from Jenny From The Block))
Thats what he had figured out five or six or seven or however many days ago, he wasnt entirely sure when. Moment one. When he had woken up on that beach. When he had talked with Danny and Irene as the waves rolled in, still unaware of how real this game was. Before Clarice, before Scout, before Alex, and before Junko. Moment one, he had known that. He knew that he was going to die. The game existed to find the fittest and he wasnt fit. Sure, he had been given a gun, but how much did it mean in the long run? Not a lot. He couldnt run, and if someone closed the gap then he couldnt fight. He was dead in the water. He would not be the one crowned the fittest at the end. He was Jeremy Frasier, 0% chance of winning the game.
And yet, he was still alive.
And yet, he had chosen to end the life of a classmate. His friend.
And yet, he was the one who had been rewarded for his efforts. The one who the people up top deemed the best killer of the day.
And he remembered. From back then. When he had been at the bell tower. He had said something to himself, back then. He wasnt going to be a villain. He wasnt going to kill. There had been a hundred or so people out there who all wanted it more than he did, so what right did he have to take that chance of life away from them? Why should he eat the apple? Why should he have killed, if he was going to die anyway?
And yet, today he was the one rewarded for taking another persons life.
So why did he do it?
Why did he take the apple from the tree?
He knew the answer. Junko had attacked him. Junko had been trying to kill him. He hadnt had much of a choice in the matter. The real question to that was why did he choose to try defending himself? If he was going to die, wouldnt it be better to do it sooner rather than later? Get it out of the way so that he couldnt build up any hope of him actually getting out of here?
He knew the answer, again, but to be honest, he wasnt sure how good of one it was.
Regardless, though, he was here, walking down the concrete path. The map said that this was the way to the Gym, and Jeremy was inclined to believe that. He had seen the library, a minute back. Well, what remained of it. He hadnt seen the library until after someone had burned it down and it was basically a husk of what it once was. It was a shame - there were probably so many books in there, sucks that they all likely burned - but it at least told him that yes, he was on the right path. He was sorta lucky, in a way. The Gym was right next to the radio tower. It was a straight shot to collect his prize. Itd be done so quickly that he figured hed take a detour. Go through the staff dorms Hazel and Jordan werent going through. See if anyone else was there.
And, given what had happened in there, there was a fat lot of good doing that accomplished.
But regardless, he was here. Almost at the gym. All he had to do was just turn the corner and-
The corpse was laid right in the doorway. Face down. Blood dried in a puddle spread all across. Isabel had done this one. He remembered that from the announcements. Apparently shed calmed down a little on the maiming people front - this corpse was nothing like Conrads. He took his steps forward, towards the corpse. Then, with a fairly slow motion, he flipped over the corpse with his foot.
Nevermind his previous statement, then.
Astrid was somebody that Jeremy had been aware of, back then. Even though he remembered everyone's name it would have been especially hard for him to not know Astrid. She was distinct. She had a cool eyepatch. She was on the soccer team. She was sort of a bitch to everyone who didnt treat life with as much drive as she did. Jeremy didnt interact with her much because of that. Cochise had their share of those types of people. They werent Jeremys type. He remembered Penelope giving her compliments, though. She was apparently friendly to her friends. She was driven. She had goals.
And she was lying dead at the entrance to the gym, eye cut out by a girl who probably found that funny.
And he was standing above her corpse, still alive despite the fact that hed pronounced his own death five or six or seven or however many days ago.
Was that fair? She had been driven. Determined. Shed probably wanted to be the fittest. Shed probably worked so that she could get further. Put everything that she had behind it and gave everything else up just so she could claw her way to the end.
So was it fair that the person who deserved to live most was dead, beneath the feet of the person who had treated the past days as his last? If the world worked how his parents said it was supposed to work - that the person most deserving got what they wanted - shouldnt the positions be reversed?
He didnt know.
He had an answer, but he wasnt sure that it was a good one.
He looked down, staring at the corpse, for a bit.
He supposed the world just didnt work that way.
He crouched down, hands going down beneath the back of her head. The strap undid itself. He stood up again.
The eyepatch went into his pocket.
May as well.
They had walked in silence since that point. Nothing to say, really. Nothing he had to say. Theyd talked the whole night, now was the time to enjoy each others company, or something like that. He was enjoying hers, and that was all that really mattered. The question of whether he liked her or not still weighed on his mind, but there wasnt really any need to figure out the answer right now. He was happy where he was right now. Sure, it felt nice when she held his hand and sure, the feeling of pure adrenaline he got when he danced with her was one he had never expected to feel, but you know what? It was enough. Being happy was her with enough. Being with her was enough for him.
Time had passed. They made it to Liberty Park. Without skipping a beat, he trotted up to the front gate and pushed it, no resistance coming as it fell back.
Gates open, he said, moving his body over and bowing his hands slightly towards the open passageway. Ladies first.
"Thanks." BB made a
sorta jerky motion. Bowed down nearly. Nodded. Slipped through the gate. Jeremy didnt know what was up with that. He followed, though. Caught up pretty easily. Even without the disadvantage of wearing heels BB seemed to be pretty slow, which was good for him. Meant that he could be next to her. Be with her. Be-
So did he like her?
Because the answer was there and the answer was clear and the answer was right there next to him walking by his side and yet he still couldnt grab it. He still couldnt figure it out. There were the little guys sitting on his shoulders and they were screaming in unison telling him that yes he did and yes he should say so but there was something else. Something in his head. A goth girl in his class in the grade below him who he thought was sorta cute and who he couldnt stop thinking about and who made him think may as well and who had put him through a fucking wringer until he couldnt take it anymore and who he had gotten angry at and who remained near him to this day, tormenting him about his mistake. She was there. Telling him no. He didnt like her. Thinking otherwise would only be a mistake on his part.
But BB wasnt like that.
BB was different.
He knew that. It was just
He had to talk.
Figure it out.
The path continued. There was a bench, off the edge of it.
Maybe he could do it now.
Figure it out.
So, uh, you mind if we take a seat in that bench over there? Check out the view, talk about something?
"Yeah," she said. "Yeah, I mean I don't mind. That's fine."
She sat on the bench, placing herself in the middle left. That meant
fuck, no way to not sit next to her.
Not like he was gonna complain about that, though.
"Talk about something," she said, and then laughed. "I guess I'm just talking about now, huh?"
Ahaha. He moved onto the bench, to BBs right. I guess thats what were gonna talk about, then.
The Gym was dark.
The air unclear.
And he was walking. Alone. Through the gym. Looking out, both in front of him and around. His prize was supposed to be somewhere in here, apparently. He imagined somewhere off to the side. Theyd told him not to walk past it in the dark, if he remembered correctly. That told him it was easily missable, and given that it was supposed to be for him, he didnt really want to miss out on getting it. Itd
help. Probably. He didnt really want to take the apple again but it was probably best that he did come here, yknow? Hed won a prize. This prize was apparently good. He was totally alone while taking it, so that meant that there was no chance of him dying while taking it, right? It was his prize. He was free to take it whenever he liked.
Only problem was finding it, apparently.
So he walked through the gym, just trying to look for what he was supposed to be looking for.
That was when he noticed the smell.
Not the smell of a corpse. Not anything decrepit or old or anything like what hed had to live with for the past five or six or seven or however many days. This was fresh. Strong. Meaty.
He walked forward. Followed the smell. Went further into the gym. He was going faster and he could feel the smell get stronger and he was barely looking around anymore he was just going closer just looking for it just trying to find it.
And thats when he saw it.
On one of the mats. A box. A tupperware container, next to it.
His first instinct was to move forward. Towards the prize. Towards the food. It was his. It was food. He hadnt eaten fucking anything in five days. He wanted it. He needed it. He was alone. It was his. There was no reason he shouldnt take it.
But his second instinct was to stop. Part of him thought that it was a trap. That part quickly got told it was wrong. There wasnt a trap. It wasnt likely, at the very least. Four other people had won this before and he didnt think any of them had died yet, so this wasnt likely to kill him. It was safe. It was claimable.
So was there a point in stopping?
Well, this was his. He could claim this whenever he wanted. But once he did, he couldnt dawdle. Hed imagine that the people up top wouldnt find it very funny if he just stayed in here the whole day. That was a loophole he couldnt really exploit.
But technically, he hadnt claimed his prize yet.
And something was telling him they couldnt really do anything if he didnt do anything.
It wasnt like he was going to stay in here forever, though. Thatd be a bad idea. He was in here. There was a whole world of people out there. They were fighting and dying and Jeremy wasnt there with them and he knew at this point that some of them were the people he was looking for. No. He wasnt going to stay in here and dawdle. That went against everything he had to do.
There was a camera, up above. Looking him in the eyes.
There was a little something he could do here, while he was safe.
Okay, uh, next question. Favourite movie?
"Ooh," BB said, "that's tough. I wish I had something really artsy and awesome, but I guess it's probably 'The Shining.'" She shrugged. "I guess Kubrick gets me a little credit maybe? I don't really watch that many movies."
Me neither, really, Jeremy replied. Ive seen Shining, though. Family made me watch it when I was like, eleven. It was good. Didnt find it very scary, though, sorry.
The dramatist in Jeremy wanted to move around, a little bit. Change his position to signify the break between the two things in his response. The romantic in Jeremy didnt want to, though. He was already looking at her. He was comfy where he was. There wasnt really a reason to move.
"How about an album where you like every single song?" she said. "It doesn't have to be your favorite album ever, just one where every piece just works."
She paused for a second.
"And no cheating with, like, something with only one track."
Uh... fuck. You nearly got me there. Off of the top of my head, uh
Dont think youd know this, but The Father of Death I dont think has any pieces I dislike.
My Head is an Animal comes in second, though. If Slow and Steady wasnt on the album thatd be my easy answer.
"You're right," BB said. "I don't know it. I'm kind of impressed."
She gave Jeremy a light shove on the shoulder.
"You'll have to play me some of your favorites sometime, since I already got to subject you to some of the stuff I like. And then I can break out the really weird stuff guilt-free."
Guess Ill have to, someday, he laughed. Cant wait for you to tell me how much my opinions suck.
BB laughed too.
"Don't worry," she said. "I know how much music means to people. I won't tell you it sucks. I'll just look you in the eyes until we both know the truth without having to say it."
She put on a mock scowl and locked eyes with Jeremy. He smiled. Looked into hers.
So like this?
She leaned closer, scowl deepening for a second, but she couldn't hold it and it cracked into a smile and laughter. He followed. Laughed. Disengaged, for a second.
Im so happy we got the chance to go out together.
"Me too." Her smile didn't widen, but it warmed a little. "I actually didn't think I'd have this much fun. I mean, uh, I thought I'd have fun, but it impressed even given that. You know?"
What, you thought Id disappoint you?Jeremy asked, seemingly pouting. You make me sad, -
He paused for a moment, trying to figure out what to say.
Oh, no, its nothing. I just sorta almost messed up, is all.
She narrowed her eyes a bit, inspecting Jeremy's face.
"You don't need to worry about messing up," she said. "And if you say that sort of thing, you have to know I'm gonna ask about it."
I just, uh
He looked away for a quick moment. I just half considered calling you by the name you hate.
"Oh," she said. "Okay, I take it back. That would have been messing up indeed."
She smiled again.
"Good thing you caught yourself."
Yeah, I guess it is. He smiled. Just gonna warn you now though, sometimes when I wanna sound patronising I call people by their full names rather than their nicknames, so if you wanna murder me now to stop that from happening theres not a lot I can do to stop you.
"Ooh, thanks for the warning," BB said. She looked around a bit, squinting into the darkness. "Damn. I don't see any, like, good chunks of brick, and the bushes here look a little small to stash a body. Guess you get to live."
Thats probably good. I think Im like, too good looking or something to die this young.
He paused for a bit.
Youd probably be, like, one of the better options for being my murderer, though. At the very least I can say, oh, at least it was BB who killed me and not some random psycho off the street.
"Yeah," BB said. "It'd be pretty good for my musical career too. Like, nobody would care about 'The Love and Terror Cult' if it wasn't by Charles Manson. But do some brutal murders and anything you touch is interesting to somebody."
She paused for a second.
"Maybe we can find some bricks on the way back?"
I mean, if youre a brick collector, then sure.
"Mm, maybe," she said. Then, after a moment: "I wouldn't actually kill you to jumpstart my career. And you know, if you do mess up with my name, I think I could
maybe forgive you. Once or twice. If it was for sure an accident."
Im glad to know that my date tonight isnt going to kill me. At least for those reasons.
"Maybe we can find some other reason later," she said. "I think it's your turn for a question, anyways. Maybe that'll give us a start."
Oh! Jeremy paused. Hmm
He leaned a little further away.
Fuck it, lets go for the big gun question. Whats the biggest problem facing your life right now?
Hey, everyone. Its me, Jeremy.
He was leaning up against one of the walls of the gym, looking at the camera above and opposite. His arms were folded. His eyes were open. Blank. Unbreaking from what he was looking at.
The faintest traces of a smile could be seen on his face.
I guess, considering I got this whole area to myself right now that I better, like, take it to full advantage since I can. Say something to the people at home since Ive got the opportunity to, and all. Honestly I didnt really prepare anything because I didnt really expect to get a chance like this, but I guess Ill figure out what to say. I used to be good at this, so, um
He paused. Breathed. Brought his hands to the back part of his hair and pulled on it.
I guess I better begin by giving the thanks I should give to the guys up top. Not for like, kidnapping me and everything, I would have rather not had that happen to me, but, like
He looked away, for a bit. Turned back.
You guys have actually been pretty kind to me ever since Ive woken up here. Its probably more coincidence than anything but, like, youve made me a bit better off than whats probably the majority of the people here. I got a gun from you guys at the beginning, you told everyone the full story of what happened with Junko, and youve given me
something Mexican to eat today, so, like
He took a breath.
Theres actually a thanks due there, so, like
thanks, I guess. Wouldve appreciated it if you told me what happened on Survivor, but considering the other things youve done for me I suppose I was sorta stepping out of line, there.
One down. Three to go? Three seemed like the right number.
I guess next up should be the people at home. Uh
Sandra. Sis. Youre probably watching this. Mom and Dad probably told you not to watch this but Id imagine that you couldnt really bear to listen to them. So, uh, if youre watching this, then
He paused. Scratched his head.
Can you please let Mickey into my room? His sentence was weak. Higher pitched than normal. I mean, like, Im trying to think of things to say and make sure what I give out is meaningful but, like, thats the only thing I can really think of saying. Mom and Dad probably arent listening, you already know I love you, and stuff, but you guys have probably locked the door to my room since I disappeared, so, uh
you know he likes my room more than any of the other bedrooms, so if you could make him happy thatd be great.
He paused again. Breathed. Speaking was tiring. Especially without water to wash it down.
Two down, two to go.
So, um, next message goes out to this dude whos article I read online a couple months ago. It was from 2007. It was talking about this. This game. It was basically going through, like, a recap of what had happened. It was probably for like, the families, and people like them. Those who didnt want to watch it themselves but wanted to know what happened for whatever reason. I got that reason.
A pause. A breath.
Issue was, like, doing what youre doing still caused the issue to keep happening. Like, no offence, but just giving them attention means that its gonna make this keep happening. I get that you got good intentions, but its causing more harm than good, so
He looked away. Turned his head back, again.
Maybe consider just writing politics instead? You were pretty dry in tone, you didnt really come off as biased, so, like, youd probably be good at just stating the facts there. I dunno. Its an idea. Youve probably got a better one than I have but if youre down to listening to me, well, then
One more breath. A big one.
Three down. One to go.
Last message goes to, uh. BB. Youre probably there. Youre probably watching this, so, uh
BBs my pseudo-girlfriend, for the people just watching this. Thats also her actual name, by the way. Its not like, a cutesy name I give her or anything.
But anyway, like, youre probably watching this. Youve probably heard about Cameron and
Im sorry for that. I never really knew her and I know this wont help at all, but, like, I just figured Id say it. Just in case it does, yknow?
The question hung in the empty air, for a second.
But, like, theres not a lot I can do to help, from where you are. If theres something I say that you should listen to, though, like
He paused. Breathed.
This was probably the most important part.
Try to forget about us.
I know that sounds like an incredibly shitty thing to say, but, like, you need to, if you wanna move on. You told me about the dreams you had, and they were
probably bigger than anything I had in store for my future. You had aspirations. Goals, and like, I was happy to follow along and help you with them. Be the Lucy to your Schroeder, or something like that. But now I- were here, and you probably cant think of anything other than that. You might not be able to think about anything else after, either. Its just
He shook his head.
I guess what Im trying to tell you is to forget about us. Keep going where you were going before. Follow your dreams.
He tried to smile.
Because if you dont, if you cant flourish because of what happened to us, then weve basically died for nothing.
The words hung. Silence reigned, for a few seconds.
Thats it from me. Sorry for getting on my soapbox. I guess this is a return to your regularly scheduled Survival of the Fittest.
Hed said it.
There wasnt really a lot more to it. Theyd been talking, they were sorta into each other, so hed figured he would ask it. It was a simple question. Maybe not one that shed be willing to answer, but it wouldnt be one shed have to think about too much if she wanted to answer.
Hopefully he hadnt turned her off him by asking this. The night had been great so far. Itd suck if it didnt end great as well.
"I think maybe the band," BB said after the longest pause he'd heard from her yet. "It's
I don't know. Cameron and Vanessa are sort of tense about Coleen, and even if everything works out there, we're all going to different places after graduation. And I know we'll try to stick together, but these things just fall apart so easily."
She rubbed her forehead a little.
"And it's tough, you know? My future and theirs
who knows if they're even compatible?"
She sighed and was quiet, for a moment.
He could have guessed that, if he wanted to. He remembered her saying something like that back at the record store. About
something about how the band was going to break up. Shed joked about having the best solo career. He remembered that. Hed joked back, something he said which which he couldnt remember. She was worried about her friends. She was worried about her future. He
got that, sorta. He could empathize, in a way.
"And you? What's eating at Jeremy Fraiser?"
Maybe not about the friends bit, but there was a way that he could answer her question. The one she threw back at him.
Part of him had been hoping that she wouldnt ask it, but it didnt matter now. Shed asked her question, and as her date it was his duty to answer it.
Yeah, I get what you mean about your friends. I
dont really know the situation myself, but Id imagine it could come up with me some point before the end.
He paused. Figured out what to say.
I guess the short of my answer here is that if youve got issues with your future, you can join the club with me.
She smiled a little. "Pretty sad club, honestly. Maybe we need to spruce it up. Get, like, badges or have a pizza party or something."
He smiled back. Yeah. Thatd be fun. Probably more interesting than anything else thatll happen in the adult life of Jeremy Frasier.
"Don't say that," BB said. "First off, it's kind of sad. I mean, you're a pretty cool guy and you make interesting stuff happen just by being around. And second, it presumes I let you survive the night."
Its a sad club, he replied, and I might be one, although the issue is, like
He paused. Frowned, slightly.
Given what schools like most of the time being in an office job would probably, like, crush my soul or something. Ive got my talents, but its like
He paused again.
Theyre gambles. Theres no real way that I can guarantee a totally stable career out of them.
"You can't guarantee anything." BB shrugged. "I don't know. I think it's better to try something that makes you happy than just accept that you won't make it, right? Even if you fail, at least you tried."
Do I get a gold star, or anything like that?
"Something like that." She shrugged again, closed her eyes for a second. "I guess maybe you get to know instead of wondering."
Yeah, maybe. He paused. Its just that, like
His head dropped. He considered what to say, for a second.
You ever think that, like, somethings gonna happen to you? Like, something in your life that defines everything else in it?
"I don't know." She looked up at the sky. "I don't even know if that would be a good thing or a bad thing, honestly."
I dunno either, it's just
Ive been thinking that it might happen, and Im sorta hoping it comes
its just like, Im sorta hoping it happens because it cant come soon enough, yknow?
Hang on, quick correction.
Well, I mean, if it happens it can wait until tomorrow. Hopefully tonight doesnt end soon. He turned his head back to BB. Smiled.
"Yeah." She smiled back. "Tonight can take its time."
He didnt reply. He just kept his smile. Felt something on his cheeks.
...Was he blushing?
He was, wasnt he?
...He liked her, didnt he?
Yeah. he did.
And all was silent, again.
He may as well say it.
Maybe she wouldnt like it, but, it was like
Tonight was great. He hoped it wouldnt end. But it had to, at some point. And he knew it would. Hed go back to being him and maybe theyd smile at each other or something whenever they saw each other but it wouldnt be anything major. Theyd be acquaintances. Nothing more. If he did nothing, thats what would happen.
Tonight would end regardless, but if he wanted another night like this
May as well.
I think I like you.
Thats what they had given him. Burritos. He was sitting on the mat, next to the container. The other box was behind him. He hadnt opened it yet. Part of him knew that he probably should, given that it was also for him, but the other part couldnt think of anything else other than the burritos in front of him. Hed opened them first. The smell was sorta too overpowering for him to even think of taking the other box first. Maybe it was a trap or something, maybe the thing in the other box was better than whatever was in this box, but fuck man he hadnt eaten in five or six or seven or however many fucking days there were you couldnt just give him Mexican and expect him not to take it, hed have to be a madman or a psycho to do that, man.
So yeah. Hed taken the food first. Sue him. The smell of the burrito was too overpowering, even for Jeremy.
And he knew that there were cameras watching him, and given what he had just done, he had probably given himself an audience.
And he knew that he had to savour it. This was probably the last thing he was ever going to eat. He had to make the taste last.
And he knew that he had two friends in the same situation as him. Two friends who would probably appreciate something to eat as well.
So he picked one of the burritos up. Folded it so that nothing inside fell out. He brought the burrito up to his mouth, and he took a bite.
It was still warm. Still steaming, even. He hadnt even considered that. It was still warm and it was so good and the meat was in his mouth and he could barely even taste it he could barely even feel it on his tongue it was going in and it was going down and he couldnt stop it was so warm it was so good and he had to eat this he couldnt think of anything else he just had to do it feel it send it down his throat and-
It was gone, no- fuck, how quickly had he eaten that? He looked at the container. There was still another one left. There was also rice. Meat sauce.
He considered saving it for later. Have it somewhere else. Itd be cold, but itd still give him sustenance for when he might need it.
He considered saving it to hand it out to someone. Maybe Hazel would like it. Maybe Jordan would like it. Theyd probably appreciate it if they finally got food they could eat.
But hed eaten his too fast. He was still hungry. Fuck, he needed more.
He lifted the second burrito up.
And from a place he didnt know, from a part of his mind that he kept away from the others, a thought came out.
Junko died for this.
And she did, and she did, he was right. She was dead. He killed her. Hed shot her back in the asylum and hed killed her and part of him even now didnt know why. She had attacked him. He understood that. But whyd he fight back? Hed said it from moment one. He was going to die here. Hed said that so many times and yet he was the one whod pulled the trigger on her. He was the one who made the choice that he wanted to continue living back there in the doctors office. He was the one who had elected to collect his reward.
He was the one eating the culmination of everything he had done.
Because really, it was. Hed woken up on the beach, talked to two people who were dead by now. Hed gone up to a tower. Rung a bell. Hed told himself that he was going to have fun. Hed barely even been considering things seriously up until the point where his friend had got an axe sent straight through her arm. Until the point where hed remembered that one of the teachers hed learned to know got shot right in front of him. Hed told himself that hed still try. He was still going to have fun. A friend had died before Jeremy had gotten a chance to say goodbye, and hed known that there were others who could die before then but for whatever reason hed decided to think about himself more.
So that was why hed decided to ally with Alex. Why hed decided to do nothing but help as Alex had mutilated another person. Why everything else that he wasnt even going to fucking bother going into had happened.
All in the name of having fun.
But yknow, honestly?
He hadnt really had a lot of fun since waking up here.
Because no. There wasnt anything fun at all in taking care of a madman. There wasnt anything fun at all in making sure his blade didnt turn on you, and there wasnt anything fun at all in having to abandon him, fucking moments after youd seen that everything you thought you knew about him was wrong. There was nothing fun about being here. There was nothing fun with being unable to do anything as you heard that your friends, the people youd spent the past several years or so being with, had died, while you didnt even think about them until it was too late. There was nothing fun about almost fucking killing yourself because you couldnt take it anymore, and believe it or not, there was nothing fun about having to kill your friend for a reason youre still werent sure of.
He wasnt having fun.
And he didnt know why he was trying to convince himself otherwise.
Because really, he hadnt even been trying to. When was the last time hed thought about it? Not today. Not yesterday. Itd been on that fucking list which he knew he wasnt even going to complete but really, it shouldnt have been put on there. He wasnt having fun. Hed put it as the number one priority, but he knew that saying that it was a priority or anything was a lie. Hed said that hed been having fun, but he wasnt. He never had been.
And he had said that he was going to die from the very first moment he woke up here, and yet he had killed his friend to save himself.
And he had said, way back when, that he wasnt going to be a killer. That he wasnt going to be a villain.
And yet he was the one being rewarded today for killing his friend.
He was a liar.
He was a hypocrite.
And he was just as bad as all the other people out there.
It was still there.
It was still warm.
He just needed that fucking burrito.
He did it.
He said it.
He looked away.
And there was nothing else he could do. Nothing else he could say. All that was left was to see how BB replied.
" she paused, looked at her feet and then her hands and then Jeremy and then her feet again. "I think I like you too."
There was a feeling of
relief? Lightness? Shed
Shed said yes.
He wasnt really expecting that.
And honestly, he didnt have anything else he could say.
Silence reigned, for a few moments.
what happens next?
"I actually have no idea," she replied.
I guess, uh, we move closer?
She laughed and scooted a little towards him on the bench. "I guess so."
I, uh, okay, I guess. He moved to his left. Up next to her. This is, uh
He laughed. She laughed too. Then she reached out and gently laid her hand on his arm.
This was nice.
He could stay like this.
I, uh..- man Ive already said that. Im running out of material here.
"You could always say I struck you speechless. That's a good cover story."
We could also say that whatever we were doing didnt need words, or, uh, something like that.
"Mm," she said, leaning in a little. "Like what?"
I, uh, dunno. Anything you wanna do?
She leaned a little closer.
"I might have an idea."
He leaned in as well.
What is it?
She smiled and bit back a slight laugh, then brought her lips to his.
This was a feeling.
It was wet it was warm it was something he didnt expect at all but it was good it was warm and there was a feeling inside him something powerful something large and it told him he wanted this, even if he didnt know it until now even if that wasnt his goal by saying what he said at all he wanted this, he had wanted this feeling he was feeling to be felt by him all this time and he didnt want to let go he didnt want the feeling to end he just wanted to be here forever. His heart was beating quickly. His breaths had stopped but those didnt matter because he was here he was with BB and he was in this night and he was feeling this feeling that he hoped more than anything else hed never stop feeling.
And maybe this wasnt his first.
And maybe this wouldnt last forever.
And maybe hed fail. Maybe hed try to go for the gamble and it wouldnt work out.
And maybe nothing else would compare. Maybe hed stop being interesting. Maybe hed work an office job for the rest of his life and have nothing special ever happen to him.
But that didnt matter, though. He didnt have to think about anything other than this. He was here. He was with her.
All he had to do was kiss her.
And maybe this wouldnt last forever. He knew that. But he still hoped that he could stay like this. Be with her.
And maybe the future was scary.
But he was here. He was now.
And he hoped this night would never end.
There was another gun in the other box.
Hed eaten the other burrito, at this point. Hed taken out the rice and meat sauce as well. Scraped the whole container dry. Maybe it probably wasnt as good as the burritos his mom would make, but given that he hadnt eaten anything in days? Yeah. Best food hed ever eaten. Perfect for a last meal.
...Yeah, he was still on about that part. Nothing had changed. At least in that area.
But anyway, there was another gun in the other box. It was big. Bigger than the one he already had. Fire it and itd probably- uh, do something, he supposed. He wasnt sure where he was going there. There was a manual, included with the box. The Pancor Jackhammer, the gun was apparently called. Custom Repeating Shotgun. He didnt know what the second word meant, but he knew what the last one was. He had a shotty. Those were
pretty good, he supposed. Maybe better than his regular gun. He didnt really want to get rid of his pistol but really, knowing what this was his gun was probably redundant now. Thanks a lot, terrorists.
But yeah. Hed seen the gun. It made him consider things a little more than he already had. Hed killed Junko, to receive this. Hed contradicted himself. Hed been living on an idea that he himself hadnt even believed for the past few days. Those were problems.
There were solutions, though. Just one simple thing he needed to do and then everything else would follow.
1. Have fun, above all else.
2. Get to Emma. As soon as possible.
3. Find Serena. Make sure she's safe.
4. Figure out what the fuck to do with Alex.
5. Find Al. Say hi.
6. Find Clarice. Apologise for earlier.
7. Figure out who else should be on this list. Retroactively add them.
8. Find Josh's corpse. Give last respects, for what they're worth to him.
9. Find Jasmine. Figure out what happens when you get there.
10. Find Caedyn, get closure in that area, if you can.
11. Pursue hopeless venture of survival, if above conditions have been fulfilled.
Do that. Directly take out the issue he had. If he could do that, if he could stop thinking that he had to have fun, he could solve the issues he had. Get a better idea of what to do, going forward.
And when that happened, hed finally figured out why he killed Junko.
The answer was simple. Because he had to. Shed been attacking him. He hadnt wanted to die. He had to fight back. It was as simple as that.
But he had said it himself, right? He was going to die on this island. Why did he choose to delay the inevitable? Why did he choose to kill knowing his death was imminent from the start?
The answer was simple. He was buying time for himself. There were things he needed to do. People he needed to see. There wasnt much of a choice in the matter. He had to do it.
If there was a world where he hadnt had to do so, though, he wouldnt have done it. Junko was still his friend. Nothing would ever change that. Even if shed turned on him, even if he had to kill her, there was still the back then. The time they talked together. The time he went up against her in Street Fighter. He knew that the past couldn't be changed, but that was for the best as much as that was for the worst. His memories remained, and if he could, hed make sure theyd never go away.
But there were priorities. There were people out there. Fighting for their lives. People he knew were out there and possibly dying and he was in here, away from the rest of the world.
And now, with his distraction gone, Jeremy figured hed double his efforts to find them. Go around the whole island, if he needed to.
Things had changed slightly, though, when he found that gun. His prize. His reward, for killing Junko.
Because he knew that there were people out there. Fighting and dying just like the rest of them. They were different, though. They werent like Emma. They werent like Serena. They werent like Hazel and Jordan. They were like Isabel. They were like Lily. They were like Nancy. They were monsters, beyond the shadow of a doubt that the people up top tried to pull on others. They were killers that Jeremy knew. People who heard the rules of the game and took others out with glee. People they knew. People they were possibly even friends with. People who Jeremy knew the terrorists werent trying to tell lies about.
People who stood as threats.
Not to his chances of winning. He didnt care about that. People who stood a threat at taking away what he wanted. People who saw Serena as a shy girl. An easy target. People who saw Clarices injury and thought thatd make her an easy number for them. People whod try to go for revenge on Jasmine before he saw her himself. People whod go for revenge on Caedyn for what shed done.
People like them? Hed kill. Hed take his gun or hed take his bat and hed take them out. Simple as that. He was ready to be selfish. He was ready to do it again, now. He was ready to kill.
And he supposed, for better or worse, he was ready to bite the apple.
The containers were behind him. His bag was on his back. Baseball bat in his left. Jackhammer in his right. Raging Bull in his pocket.
One more thing.
Put the baseball bat down.
Pick the Raging Bull up.
Open the chamber.
Spin the chamber.
Clack the chamber back in.
Pick up the baseball bat.
And then step out the gym, ready to face the world again.
((Jeremy Frasier, continued in If You Dont Like What We Say, Try Living Here A Couple Days))
1 post • Page 1 of 1
The Martyr Approach
- Joined: September 17th, 2014, 5:36 am
- [+] Spoiler
G???: Anna "Roxanne" Herbert - "...It's a god-awful small affair..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2 3
THEME: Dire Straits - Skateaway
G???: Teresa Rojas - "..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2
THEME: Tata Young - Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me
B???: Jonathan Meyers - "..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1
THEME: Kate Miller-Heidke - Caught In The Crowd
- [+] Spoiler
- Ashley Tanner - The Tattooed Jackass - "We got the music, we got the drinks, I think we have a recipe for some rock n' roll."
Yuko Hayashibara - The Tomboy - "Yo, homeboy, come over here. I wanna play some ball."
- [+] Spoiler
B003: Jeremy Frasier - ?Yeah. No regrets.? - 57%
Kills: 2 | Equipped with: Scoped Raging Bull, $1000, Wooden Baseball Bat, Eyepatch, Pancor Jackhammer
PREGAME - Past: 1 2 3 | Present: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Sadie Hawkins: 1 2
V6: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
THEME: OneRepublic - Love Runs Out
B013: Alvaro Vacanti - ?Thank... you...? - 41%
Kills: 3 | Equipped with: MAC-10
PREGAME - Past: 1 2 3 | Present: 1 2 3 4 5 | Sadie Hawkins: 1 2
V6: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
THEME: The Megas - The Haystack Principle
G030: Jasmine King - "I win." - 11%
Kills: 0 | Equipped with: Brass Knuckles
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2 3 | Sadie Hawkins: 1
V6: 1 2 3 4 5
THEME: Luck Ganriki - golden sneer
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