Vanessa continued to stare fury at Vinny as they walked out the room with in their tranquil anger. She was grinding her teeth together, waiting for her insults to fly forth at Vinny, whod just let Cams get murdered, as the hot tears ran down her face. Yet they didnt come, and Vinny left.
Suddenly, she realised, that yelling at Vinny hadnt changed a goddamn thing. Wait. She whispered, but they had already gone, and Vanessa was alone.
Why the fuck had she done that? She was standing there with her dead best friend in her arms, and all shed done was yell at Cams other friend, and nothing good had come of it. All shed done was force herself to deal with this alone, and something that hurt so bad already just felt even worse. God, she was the fucking retard after all.
She shut her eyes tight, shutting it all out, but still feeling Cams limp weight in her arms. She was so heavy; Vanessa wanted to put her down because her arms were starting to strain, but how could she? If she just put her down on the floor, let her go, shed fall limp and thatd just be as much proof as anything that she really was fucking dead.
Except that she really was, and Vanessa couldnt stand there looking at the door that Vinny had walked out of forever, no matter how much she wanted to not face what came next. Finally, reluctantly, she put Cams down, with all the gentle care she could muster. Of course, Cams still didnt move.
She turned around, pressed her head against the wall, took her eyes off the body. She was sobbing, trying to get a hold of herself, failing. Her best friend was dead; this terrorist BS that had just seemed like a distant threat had come crashing down right in front of her, and she hadnt even had a chance to do anything. She felt, more than anything, powerless and lost.
Finally, she left the storage closet. Shed done everything she couldve for Cams, everything she had the strength to do, but it still felt like fuck all. Shed left her lying on the floor, hands over that awful hole in her stomach, as peaceful looking as anyone whod been brutally murdered by their classmate couldve. It felt pointless, hollow, and stupid, but she knew she had to do something.
She looked down at her wrist, Camerons Mastodon bandana now tied around her own arm. Maybe she shouldve left it with her friend, she thought, but she knew why shed taken it. She had to have something, anything, just that little piece of her left. Even if she still had all the memories, something physical and real just helped, just a little bit.
She stared out into the hallway, looking so damn different from how it had looked when she'd come from the other end. She looked back down at her wrist.
It wasnt enough.
((Vanessa Stone continued in Dark Necessities