Riley Quinn

MegaShinyObject
Cannon Fodder
MegaShinyObject
Cannon Fodder
Joined: July 3rd, 2015, 1:10 am

July 7th, 2015, 12:54 am #1

Name: Riley Quinn
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Grade: 12
School: Cochise High School.
Hobbies and Interests: Soccer, literature, video games, horror movies, archery, history, music

Appearance: Riley stands at 5' 7" tall and weighs in at 146 lbs. Most of her height is carried in her long legs, which also happens to be where most of her weight is carried; her hips and thighs are considerably wider than average. Her hair is a golden brown color, cut to just below her shoulders, and it's usually kept back in a loose ponytail to avoid having to do anything with it. Her eyes are a dark chocolate brown, almond shaped, and bright, as if she always has a joke to tell. She's fair in skin color, with a very light smattering of freckles along her nose and cheeks.

Riley dresses in whatever is comfortable, which usually consists of jeans or shorts and plain t-shirts or tank top with tennis shoes. She's almost always seen wearing some form of purple, as it's her favorite color. She rarely wears full makeup, but always keeps lip gloss with her to keep her lips moist. She's recently started wearing her class ring on a daily basis.

Biography: Riley's parents, Alan Quinn and Samantha Summers, had only been together for five weeks before Samantha discovered she was pregnant with Riley. Alan, who was originally from Flagstaff, chose to stay in Phoenix with Samantha and the baby. The name Riley was chosen by Alan. He believed it could be used for either a boy or a girl, and he was hoping for a boy. Samantha chose the name Elizabeth for a girl, after her grandmother, and never really chose a name if it were a boy, saying that she knew it was going to be a girl.

Eight and a half months later, she was proven right, when her baby girl was born in Phoenix, Arizona on July 4th. She and Alan agreed on the name Riley Elizabeth Quinn, though Samantha never entirely warmed up to the name.

Riley proved from an early age to be an incredibly happy-go-lucky girl, always active and looking for something to do. She had a silly side as well, and enjoyed playing games with her parents. She loved animals, particularly ducks, of which she had a small collection. She always had a huge fear of the dark, which Alan and Samantha never really understood, as there seemed to be no particular reasoning behind it, and proved at a young age to be severely claustrophobic.

Riley became interested in soccer when she and her father set up a makeshift goal in the living room of their apartment when she was four years old, as a way to entertain her during a bad thunderstorm. Her mother also got involved in the game, and Riley actually legitimately won against both of them. Her father later enrolled her in a simple soccer class full of other preschool kids, and Riley actually became very good at the sport. She was also enrolled in swimming lessons, but while she learned to swim, she never fell in love with it as she did with soccer. In response to her little girl becoming involved in more sporty activities, Samantha tried to enroll Riley in a beauty pageant when she turned five. Riley went about as far as the first round before she quit, and went out of her way to sabotage her chances of finishing the competition by pulling another girl’s hair in an attempt to stop the pageant. The other girl's mother started a fight with another pageant mother, and in the ensuing fight, Riley ran offstage and refused to come back on. Samantha wasn't happy with Riley's choice and did punish her for starting a fight, but years later she admitted that watching two grown women fight over a beauty contest for five year olds was probably the funniest thing she'd ever seen.

When Riley turned seven, her father got a job offer in Kingman, Arizona. He accepted it, and they moved to the much smaller city, leaving Riley's friends and teammates behind. Riley, a normally upbeat and happy child, hated the move and constantly fought with her parents to go back to Phoenix. She was eventually forced to accept the move, and was enrolled in a local children's soccer team to alleviate the burden of the change. She did make new friends, and kept in touch with her old ones. Her best friend, though, was a boy around her own age she enjoyed hanging out with; Riley always had plenty of guy friends, but rarely got along with other girls her own age, who much preferred to play with dolls and kitchen sets rather than with soccer balls and video games.

On Riley's tenth birthday, during Kingman's local Fourth of July fireworks celebration, Alan, who had been with Samantha for nearly eleven years, finally proposed; she said yes. They got married in the backyard of their small house a month later, with Riley as the flower girl and her best friend acting as ring bearer.

One year after the wedding, Riley became even happier when Samantha gave birth to Riley's little sister, Emily Kendall Quinn. Riley loved that little girl, and enjoyed helping her mother feed and care for Emily. She even took joy in learning to change the baby's diapers. On the day before her twelfth birthday, Riley got a puppy as a gift, a little golden retriever she named Buddy. Riley had officially started junior high, and joined the band there, where she learned to play the clarinet. She and her friends enjoyed watching horror movies, even after being told they couldn't; she never found them scary for the most part, and often chastised the protagonists for their stupid actions. In 8th grade, Riley decided to try taking an archery course after her gym class briefly touched on the subject. She was decent at the sport, but it never replaced soccer as her favorite. Her father also began taking her to a local shooting range to learn to shoot a gun, so she could learn to defend herself, as he put it.

Shortly before summer vacation between the eighth and ninth grades, Riley and her father were in a car accident on the way to the shooting range. The car wound up upside down in a ditch full of water. No one was killed, but Alan walked away with a broken arm and Riley wound up with a severe case of whiplash and an injured knee. Riley, who had wound up underwater for a few seconds while Alan fought to free her from her seat belt, also gained a serious fear of drowning.

Riley began attending Cochetta High School the autumn after the accident, when she was thirteen years old. She tried out for the soccer team, but only made second string. Her self-confidence took a massive hit, but she did try to remain as positive as possible. She continued with the clarinet in the band, where she gained the position of first chair and began to learn to play the bassoon as well. She performed decently in her English classes, and gained a fondness for classic literature, Shakespeare becoming her favorite. She also did well in history class, where she determined that her favorite time period to study was WWII and the Holocaust. She performed poorly in math classes, and only did marginally well in science. She continued the archery courses outside of school, when she could. In her sophomore year, she tried out for soccer again, and this time actually made the team and was able to play. Her parents attended every game, wearing school colors and embarrassing her to no end. It was during this time that she began casually dating her best friend; they went to movies, the bowling alley, took Buddy to the park to play Frisbee, and other silly little cheap things. Once they hit their junior year, the two became an exclusive couple. She began teaching her baby sister to read, once Emily started to speak, and started applying to colleges around the country, in the hopes that she could study creative writing. She got a part time job at a local ice cream shop to help her parents with the financial burden college would cause.

Advantages: Due to her many, many years playing soccer, Riley has an incredible amount of endurance and agility. She's fairly good with a bow and a handgun as well.
Disadvantages: She's scared of the dark and absolutely terrified of drowning. She occasionally gets severe back pain from the whiplash her car accident gave her.
Like
Share

Deamon
Mr. Danya
Deamon
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 1st, 2011, 8:03 pm

July 14th, 2015, 4:54 pm #2

Hey MSO, Riley is a good start so far but she's Denied pending some changes.
wrote:and Riley actually legitimately won against both of them
You don't need to use both actually and legitimately here, also she beat both her parents when she was four? When her parents were trying to win? That seems doubtful.

Why does Riley enjoy soccer exactly? Is it just because she's good at it or are there other reasons?
wrote:who much preferred to play with dolls and kitchen sets rather than with soccer balls and video games.
This is the first mention of Riley enjoying video games and since this is in her hobbies and interests it needs to be included in much more detail as the hobbies and interests section is for the things that your character enjoys to do above everything else.

Why did she decide join the band and why did she pick clarinet? This is the first instance of her interest in music being brought up as well so more detail will be needed.

Why does she enjoy horror movies? She doesn't get scared by them so there must be another reason. Again more detail is needed here.
wrote:In 8th grade, Riley decided to try taking an archery course after her gym class briefly touched on the subject. She was decent at the sport, but it never replaced soccer as her favorite.
Again more detail is needed, why does she like archery? It's also a sport that needs a good level of commitment to be good at so does she practice at all? If so when and where?
wrote:Her father also began taking her to a local shooting range to learn to shoot a gun, so she could learn to defend herself, as he put it.
I'm going to have to ask you to slow down here. This is a major advantage to take into Survival of the Fittest, since guns are given out. So I'd expect much more detail and explanation beyond what is given here. Because as it is it looks like both archery and her being taught to shoot were just thrown in so that Riley could have them in her advantages. So I'd like to ask for a lot more detail on both of these things.
wrote:Riley began attending Cochetta High School
Cochise High School.
wrote:She performed decently in her English classes, and gained a fondness for classic literature, Shakespeare becoming her favorite.
Why?
wrote:She also did well in history class, where she determined that her favorite time period to study was WWII and the Holocaust.
Why did she enjoy this time period?
wrote: and other silly little cheap things
This is too informal for a profile. Profiles are written by a terrorist in-universe so as a result they should be kept to a somewhat formal style.

Riley's advantages and disadvantages need some major expansion. The reasoning for them is good but you'll also want to include how they will be helpful/unhelpful on the island.

Basically the one main issue with Riley's profile right now is a lack of detail for why she enjoys her hobbies and why she does them. So I'd suggest reading through the profile and asking yourself why she likes what she likes etc.

Anyway once you've done that and made the changes I've asked for post here and I'll give her another look over. Also if you have any questions feel free to PM me and I'll be happy to answer them.
Forrest Quin - At the Zoo
Bret Carter - On a date
Aliya Kimia Nemati - In Training
Arizona - Practicing
[+] Spoiler
Kimiko Kao - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯ - ☯
Travis "Trav" Lynch - ♞ - ♞ - ♞ - ♞ - ♞ - ♞ - ♞
Cameron Herrig - Ω - Ω - Ω
[+] Spoiler
Gray Emerson - "No. We don't follow."
Yasmin "Yaz" Carroll - "I don't really have a plan anymore."
Christopher Harlin - "You can look me in the eyes and shoot me."
Like
Share

MegaShinyObject
Cannon Fodder
MegaShinyObject
Cannon Fodder
Joined: July 3rd, 2015, 1:10 am

July 15th, 2015, 3:35 am #3

I'm currently out of town, so I'll work on the changes and post it when I get back. Thanks!
Like
Share

MurderWeasel
MW's Private Rank
Joined: February 18th, 2009, 7:01 am

July 15th, 2015, 6:15 am #4

Heya! Just jumping in here with a quick note:

Taking a while with edits is totally fine, but you shouldn't post here until they're done. We actually use the replies to these topics to check when they need another round of critiques, and posting before then throws the process off (basically, every topic that doesn't have a staffer as the most recent post is marked to be looked over again, and if there aren't new edits, it makes it likely that you may be missed when you do edit things--by posting this here now, I'm straightening stuff up so that won't happen).

Post when you've got everything edited, and you'll get another critique.
Like
Share

Namira
Mr. Danya
Joined: May 28th, 2007, 12:31 pm

July 31st, 2015, 6:07 pm #5

This character biography has had no alterations for more than two weeks and has been put in the abandoned characters forum. This profile is eligible for resubmission by the handler upon alterations requested by the staff.

SotF: Mini - SCdoes a-rolling! - PV3 Prologue ongoing!
Draw Thread! - Pathfinder! - Writing Thread!
[+] Spoiler
13:58 Gianni Oh come on you broke someone's heart
13:59 Gianni you are proud, not embarrassed
13:59 Christian Yes
13:59 Christian Be proud
13:59 Christian Do we not all strive to break a human soul?
[+] Spoiler
Vincenzo/a 'Vinny' 'Enzo' Gatti | DO IT FOR THE VINE.
Toby 'Noodle' Andreasson | :|
[+] Spoiler
G008 - Kammy So'oialo | wants a new script
G062 - Becca Everett | was a damn superstar
G071 - Sunshine Cho Lee | trusted
[+] Spoiler
G026 - Rosalia Fiametta | Found it. | Walkie Talkies
G014 - Yelizaveta 'Bounce' Volkova | Out of here | Gasoline
B060 - Brock Mason | Thump. Thump |
G029 - Kristina 'Kris' Hartmann | Put Down. | Drama Bombs [∞], M79 Grenade Launcher [x6 grenades]
G117 - Jessie Anderson | Still Smiling | Faith
Like
Share