((Bleh, I'm back now! Sorry for the hold up.))
Nick stared at the black walls of his eye lids. Even if he was tired, he wasn't sure he could sleep. In the darkness of his mind he couldn't help but go over what had happened. It was the game, he told himself. But it was the slipperiest of slopes to try and play. Once you made the decision that you were determined to try to get home, it was all or nothing. You were a killer and people would come for you. Good people would come to exact revenge. Bad people would come to take out a threat. Though good and bad seemed neither here nor there at the moment. The island took normal morality and spun it like a top, round and round until good and bad blurred together and became inseparable in the confusion of the frenzied whirling.
And it would never stop until the end.
His fingers brushed against the fabric of his shirt. Nice and clean. No blood, nothing to hint at what he'd done. No, it wasn't what he'd done. It was what he was made to do. This wasn't his fault. All he could do was repeat that like a mantra, droning into his head on a loop until it was a sick, faded lullaby.
Suddenly he felt like he could sleep. Uncertainty and fear had prickled at the edges of his thoughts, but that monotonous repetition that he wasn't to blame threw a momentary calm over him. It only took that one moment for him to fall. He fell asleep.
Soft tapping edged into his mind after some time had passed. His eyes fluttered open and he saw Gracie pacing around. He hefted his large frame up into a seated position and looked down at the dusty floor boards. He blew a little stream of air and the saw dust scattered. Pacing.....he supposed it meant she was anxious. But why she was anxious, he had no idea. Well, the obvious threat of death at any time aside. He didn't think that was it, though. Strangely, he wasn't anxious over that. What made him the most uncomfortable was not knowing. There was no plan. There was no direction. Without something to hold onto he felt nervous.
But he was sure that could be fixed.
((Nick LeMonde continued in Aching Chest and Blurry Sight