Aiden bit his lip. Raina coming in close again. Johnny just kinda...standing there, being all chill, like always. Why couldn't he be like that? Be a bastion of calm or whatever they called it, solid as a fuckin' rock. No, he wasn't just wasn't, he was just a goddamn useless little sissy, that was all he was. Fuck it all.
He tried his best to calm down though or tried to not be a fucking liability to the others any more than he was already, at least. He was still breathing funny, heart still hurting the way it went, but he had to fucking get a grip, like asap.
He didn't look away as Raina talked to him. Yeah, like, she was right and all. Nobody was dead. And fuck, nobody was going to be, it was all gonna turn out like he had thought, like- Whoa, unexpected, her touching him like that. He winced slightly, but let it happen. It was kinda helping, physical contact always kinda helped with making him all calm.
Raina kept talking and Aiden nodded. He didn't even think about why, he just nodded, compliant and shit, it made him feel better and would prolly them as well. Whatever helped. He had to at least try. Even though it was just - fuck, this was too much, just was, but he couldn't lose it, not again. Had to try and -
And then everything went way too fast for him. Scarlett spoke up, out of the blue, said things, something about them finding allies, about the bell - and then she just ran off. Fucking Christ, what the hell had gotten into her, this wasn't how it was supposed to be!
He pushed himself off the wall, made sure to push Raina gently though, just enough for her to step out of his way. Goddammit, why the fuck?
"Ey, Scarls! What are you doing, come back here! You can't just-"
He shouted after her, but all he got in response was the echo of her footsteps dying down and then fading away. Shit man, fuckin' shit on a stick with sprinkles. This was totally not cool, all of it was shitty and fucked up enough already, but why did this have to happen too now?
Like, he couldn't just let her run off, could he? He had been leading her all the way up to here, she had followed him and shit, put her trust into him. He had been supposed to protect her, before he went all nervous and broke down and shit like a fuckin' loser. And now he was just letting this happen to? Like, not like he was really believing all that shit about peeps starting to kill each other but- he couldn't let her run off by herself either. He had promised Scarls it was going to be okay. He had to make sure it would be. He had to go after her.
Aiden turned around towards Johnny and Raina. Fuck, they had tried to help him, made such an effort and now he was just gonna leave 'em like this. Just made him feel like such a piece of shit, but he had to do it. "Look guys. I like - I appreciate what you're doing, okay? Really, I prolly look like an ungrateful fuck, but I mean it! Just, I have to go after her, okay? Just-"
They had each other. They'd be okay. Raina was smart, Johnny knew what he was doing. And why was he even worried? All was gonna be fine. He'd meet up with them later, it was fine. It was fine.
"I'll - I'll see you later, okay? We're gonna meet up again somewhere here, maybe not go away too far or something. Or just do whatever, like, gonna be fine either way and-"
Goddamnit, he was wastin' time now. Scarley Scarls was prolly already a mile ahead of him.
His heart still pounding like a madman, and his bag thrown over his shoulder, Aiden started running.
((Aiden Slattery continued in これでいい。