MW's Tiny Critiques: Strength/Weakness

MurderWeasel
MW's Private Rank
Joined: February 18th, 2009, 7:01 am

August 18th, 2014, 7:19 am #1

Heya, folks!

I've been inspired by NAFT's three-sentence experimental critique thread, which seems to have finally overcome a lot of the typical problems inherent to critique threads in general (and that specifically have plagued me over the past few I've started). As such, with his blessing, I'm going to launch my own cheap, low-grade knockoff.

Basically, ask me to look at one of your characters, and I'll give my opinion on their greatest strength and their greatest weakness off the top of my head. If I'm really, really torn I might do two for one category or the other, but I'm gonna try to keep that rare. I may also change my mind at some point later. This is a very off the cuff thing. It's going to be at most a mid-sized paragraph for each, probably usually only a few sentences.

I'll take any character from V4, V5, or Mini. Part of this is that I'm only going to be looking at characters I've already read so I can make snap calls and not get mired in going over every little detail again and again. I don't care if your kid is alive or dead, but please note that I'm a week and a half behind on TV2 kids and thus any TV2 kid who has had posts in the last twelve days will be held at the back of the queue/left un-critiqued until I am caught up. Since I'm gonna try to clear the queue daily or every other day, but may take up to a week to fully catch up, it's probably strategically best to hold off on those kids if you have anyone else you want an opinion on.

I ask that requests be held to one character per handler at a time; as soon as I post your write-up you can ask for another, though.

Also, NAFT's condition for lending his blessing was that he get the first critique, which I'm using as a demo of what to expect:


Matthew Weiss

Strength: Matt is funny. His entire deal is being a satiric take on trends that have swept the site at various points, and when these things can mesh with his character and story, he can be very entertaining. He also serves as a good and knowing example of why those trends are bad ideas.

Weakness: The big thing is, there are a lot of times when Matt's silly stuff doesn't quite mesh with his story and instead takes precedence. He's so much about making a point that it can be distracting or detract from otherwise interesting scenes. Also, doing something annoying ironically runs the very real risk of it remaining annoying, and while Matt usually stays on the right side of that line, it's not 100%.


That out of the way, have at!
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Code: Select all

[b][big]KID NAME[/big][/b]

[b]Strength:[/b]

[b]Weakness:[/b]
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Riki
Winner
Joined: July 7th, 2012, 6:39 pm

August 18th, 2014, 7:24 am #2

Hm, quite interesting. I would like you to look at Joachim Lovelace until Schwarze Rosen.
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Hycanthe Eickenhorst
Piet Lick
Cedric Matsumoto [INSPO]
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Lucilly Peterson wrote: Lucilly Peterson 0 % ♪Laing - Paradies Naiv♪ Porno Magazine
||Seeds||Day||Still||
||Dream|Island|Sideshow|Soul|dr36m|Paradies||
Johnny Ray McKay wrote: Johnny McKay Dead Tracking Bug and Transponder
||Breaths||Pizza|People 2||Fortune||
||Girlfriend|Needles|Thanos|Blanc|Demons|Hasty|Another|Hyphaema|Minus|Anemia|Eternal Happiness||
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O B014 Joachim Lovelace - Ballistic Knife, MP 18, Obsidian Knife - "It doesn't matter. They lost, he lost, I'll lose. That's the nature of the game."
O G042 Aileen Aurora Abdallah - Pair of MMA Gloves, Golf Club & Table Leg -
B059 David Zimmer - Sabre -
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SnoopDommyDommmy: specialist subject in Mastermind is "History of Defecation in Wrestling"

Ruggahissy: We are the law now and our law keeps the streets clean O_O
Kilmarnock: XD Good.
Kilmarnock: Yaaaay for being the law.

Kermit: I asked a kid who had a crush on me. But I pretty much only gave him a hug so I guess that wasn't nice of me
Kermit: My friends said I was rude not to have at least offered him a blow job
Kermit: Apparently that would have been the polite thing to do

SpiralAgnew: Here, have something sad-looking
Bikriki: I must add this to my collection of pics that show people crying.
SpiralAgnew: XD You actually have one of those?
Whirly: I was going to say "Ian, of course he has a collection like that. He's German."

cos frankly the idea of trying to turn all your straight female characters into lesbians amuses me hugely

Uno: You seem excited. did Bambi's mom get reincarnated as a bug you just swatted?

Skraal: would it be correct to say you've sucked on a lot of black ones?
TtMaR: They taste nicer
TtMaR: Better shape, too.
TtMaR: They fit neatly into your mouth,.

Bikriki: My hometown is not a very indication of my personality.
Bikriki: Because as far as I can recall, I am neither ugly nor full of minorites
Bikriki: Though I would not mind the latter.
Bikriki winks

Shangela: Facials for the greater good.

Shangela: I work you into climax, what happens afterward is none of my concern.
Wes: Says the world's most detached sexecutioner.

OH NO DECISIONS
CAN I AGONISE FOR ATLEAST 3 WEEKS CONSTANTLY CHANGING MY MIND??

Shangela: Did you stop high school genocide with your cock, Sansa?
Sansa: yes yes i did
Sansa: sunshine and happiness wasn't working so i had to take drastic measures

Wes: Welcome to SotF chat
Wes: Your weekly forecast: Nipples n' butts, if the pattern holds

Ruggawork: Yeah Aloha was a zygot with a keyboard shoved up his mom's uterus

<WES> Riki would never say or do anything sexual. He is a flower of innocence and purity.
<WES> If he was heroin, he'd be blue magic

Ruggahissy - Today at 11:10 PM
When I was 10 a kid kept calling me "Victoria's Secret" so I chased him, knocked him down and then stomped on him
He stopped
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VysePresident
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 7th, 2012, 10:55 pm

August 18th, 2014, 7:24 am #3

Ian Williams, if you'd be so kind?
Constructive criticism is always welcome! Feel free to send me a PM if you have any pointers or feedback you'd like to share!
Character #1: Boy #37 Ian Williams - Now with 55% less self-insert.
Designated Weapon: Polaroid Instant Camera With Film (Enough for 8 photographs)

Past - | 1 | 2 | (Current thread - Birds of a Feather)
Pregame - None
Island - | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | (Final Thread - Glass
)
Character #2: Boy #66 Chase Rodriguez - Adopted from Pippin.
Designated Weapon: Silver Pill Box Containing Three Cyanide Capsules

Past - None
Pregame - | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | (Last seen in - Diversions)
Island - | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | (Final Thread - Drawing to an End)
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Dr. Freud
Survivor
Dr. Freud
Survivor
Joined: June 9th, 2011, 4:46 am

August 18th, 2014, 7:46 am #4

Nikki Campbell (my version).
"The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization." -Sigmund Freud
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SansaSaver
Player
Joined: November 18th, 2012, 7:49 pm

August 18th, 2014, 7:53 am #5

Mirabella, pleeeeaaaseee c:
Version Seven:
Tristan O?Hara
Dorothea Rodriguez
Ariana Simpson
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Version Five:
B049 ? Maynard Hurst
G060 ? Mirabella Strong

Version Six:
B004 ? Joshua Bracewell
? Adopted by Ciel
G026 ? Hazel Jung ? Adopted by Ruggahissy
B027 ? Oskar Pearce ? Adopted by NAFT
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1245
Winner
1245
Winner
Joined: June 29th, 2013, 5:06 pm

August 18th, 2014, 8:41 am #6

Gene Steward.

I should actually start writing posts that make sense.
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dmboogie
Winner
Joined: December 9th, 2008, 10:33 pm

August 18th, 2014, 9:28 am #7

Michael Mitchellson, please!
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Asha Sur: GIRL 018, armed with a TASER. "Let's all embrace nihilism and be nice!"
Cass Prince: HUMAN 001, armed with a MOP. "It's all falling apart, isn't it? We're unravelling."
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V6
Harold Porter: BOY 034, armed with a COFFEE POT. "Hey - none of this... none of this is your fault, alright?" Messed up. Plain and simple.

V5
Daniel Whitten: BOY 074, armed with an INDIANA JONES REPLICA WHIP. "Oh, hey, sorry. Didn't think there was anyone else-" Died early.
Alice Gilman: GIRL 064, armed with a ROTATO. "Just... Just wanted you to drop the gun. Thought you were gonna shoot." Died stupidly.
Michael Mitchellson:BOY 019, armed with a FUCKING AUTOMATIC SHOTGUN. Died a failure.

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Daniel Whitten

By Violent-Medic

Michael Mitchellson

By Violent-Medic



By Mimi

Alice Gilman


By TurtleTyrant

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Inge
Player
Inge
Player
Joined: March 29th, 2013, 9:02 pm

August 18th, 2014, 9:29 am #8

A Zoe Waker critque please.
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Serena Waters
Will Mckinley
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Seth Dunn
Sean Leibowitz
I do let's plays on my youtube channel here.
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Emprexx Plush
Mr. Danya
Joined: June 26th, 2011, 8:09 pm

August 18th, 2014, 10:18 am #10

I'd like to add Vahka Basayev to the queue!
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G056, Alda Abbate(Adopted)
It was difficult to nail down exactly when the anger started. Remembering a time when it wasn't there, coiled up and waiting to strike or alive and thrashing, was growing more and more challenging. It'd been with her for so long that it no longer felt like an intruder in her mind. It felt like a part of her.
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B062, Garrett Wilde
I multiplied. Then I subtracted. That's what we do now. That's how we keep the most people around.
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B014, Joachim Lovelace(Adopted)
Your turn.
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Abby Floyd:This place was vile. Overwhelmingly, terribly vile. Character Theme: Everything's Alright-Emily Scholz
Ty Yazzie: You ever wonder if you still got a home to go back to? Character Theme: Warrior People-Medicine For The People
Isaac Brea(Adopted from Espi): Isaac's well of fucks was bone-dry. Character Theme: The Whiskey, The Liar, The Thief-Patent Pending
Caedyn Miller:So...how did you wanna do this? Feeling an open casket? Or is that dumb? Nah, don't say it, that's dumb. We'll be soup by the time they send us home anyway. Character Theme: Sleep-My Chemical Romance
Irene Djezari(Adopted from CicadaDays): Death was not worse than Meme Hell. Character Theme: A Beautiful Lie-30 Seconds To Mars

NPCs:
Jacob Brooks: ... Character Theme: 1812 Overture-Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
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Blaise d'Aramitz: Blonde Hair, Black Lungs-Sorority Noise
Helena 'Hel" Fury: Okay, but riddle me this: where in the rulebook does it say it's not a series of automatic critical hits if I Flurry of Blows an ogre's nutsack like a speedbag? Bad Liar-Selena Gomez
Jeremiah Widdlestone: NOT--FOR--YOU 911/Mr. Lonely-Tyler The Creator
Damian Riccardo Maradona Reyes: I'll go all day, all week, all year if I gotta, big guy. Just try and stop me. Years Of War-Porter Robinson
Barbara "Babs" Mulaney: One. Deux. Tres. Vier. Fem. Yug. Haft. Aath. Dyev-yat. Dez. Might Tell You Tonight-Scissor Sisters
Zyzzx Rigs: Last of the first, folks. Light me up.You Know You Like It - DJ Snake ft.
AlunaGeorge
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Some Guy Probably: A thing he said? Character Theme: Flyers-Bradio
Alex Darby: Let's weigh what everyone brings to the table, and find a suitable compromise. It's in your best interest. Character theme: Devil's Gift-Shaman's Harvest
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Plush Wants To Read Your Dead Things and your Living Things! As of 8/14/2017, the Living Queue is Closed, and the Dead Queue is Open!
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