The answer to Bens offer was no.
No, he wasnt going to do it. No, he wasnt going to shoot him. No, he wasnt going to listen to Bens fucking ridiculous proposal about how Jeremy should kill him for the sake of
whatever Bens point was, Jeremy didnt know what it was. If there even was a point in doing it. Because no, there probably wasnt. There wasnt a point in shooting a classmate of his when he was totally defenseless. There wasnt a point in having to do it. Not again. Not so soon. Ben wasnt a threat. He wasnt planning on killing Jeremy. He wasnt planning on harming any of his friends.
There wasnt a point.
But he had to do it.
Because Ben was in his way.
Because Ben wasnt letting him leave.
And because Ben was right.
Because yeah, he was. Maybe his plan was stupid. Maybe Jeremys was better, but there was one part of Bens thoughts that Jeremy had to agree with. Jeremy had been saying his intent. To himself - at the gym, when hed eaten and when hed seen his new gun for the first time. To Alba - at the bridge, when shed asked him who he was and what he was going to do from that point out. To Ben - right here, right now, when Ben had asked him if he was going to do it again. Hed said it. Hed told others that hed do it again. Hed told himself that if anyone got in his way - if anyone stood to stop him from doing what he needed to do - then hed shoot them. No questions asked.
But now he had to act on it.
Because Ben had gotten in his way. Ben was trying to stop him. Ben was challenging him. Saying that he couldnt. Saying that he was too much of a chicken to even consider shooting somebody again.
And if he couldnt do it here - if he couldnt pull his gun on somebody who was telling him to do so - then how could he do it on anyone else? If Isabel was here, if she was threatening to kill one of his friends, could he do it? Could he shoot her if he couldnt even do it to someone who was telling him to?
You have to do it, Jeremy.
Nut up or shut up.
The Raging Bull clattered to the floor in front of Ben.
Thats your gun. Pick it up.