"So much for our dream, huh, Kiz?"
Lili looked down at her friend's body, propped up against the side of the asylum wall. The cold made her shiver. Goosebumps popped up all up and down her arms. With a finger to her mouth, she paced back and forth pensively. There was a camera nearby, and for some reason, that made her feel compelled to eulogize.
"I should've taken the bullet for you. Wouldn't have fucking died like you did, probably, heh. Wouldn't have been around to feel this."
She stopped pacing and looked down at Kizi's face, still contorted in a kind of half smile.
No grieving. I said no grieving, so stop tearing up, please? Y'know, you sicken me, you Lili Williams you. No charge, no initiative, no desire to do anything or have any kind of direction, just malaise, and when you finally come across someone that might lift it up and out of you, you let them die instead of yourself. You had literally just opened up a box of bandages, hadn't you? And I let her keep talking. No more of that, now. I'm the fucking queen of France, for all I care.
"Why couldn't you just suck it up, huh? Take it in stride, get up off the ground, keep on trucking, y'know? Make it to the goddamn party instead of stopping it before it starts. All your fault, it is, I bet. We would've made beautiful music together. Something intense, and weird, and fun, a war cry or something. Resist, resist, resist! Resist through not killing! Peace finds a way, right?"
Lili laughed. Kizi looked so frail, like a doll left on a shelf for years, sewn smile stuck on its sad little face, drooping into itself and letting gravity take hold.
There was still blood on both of their clothes. A lot more on Kizi, but Lili wished she had another layer on, or something she could change into.
"There's gonna be some tax for this. You gotta pay up, give me something, yeah? Fuck it, right? Say something, will ya? It's a game, it's called tollbooth, it'll be fun, see?"
Lili bent down and pulled Kizi's cross necklace up and around her head, putting it around her own. Shoes, necklace. Playing dress up at the end of the world. Her world. That's all there ever was, all there'd be. Everything ended with her. Might as well, at least.
She gave Kizi a little kiss on the cheek, too. Her skin was pale. Really cold, too.
Then, she pulled away, and took one last look down.
"You're getting outta here too. Kizi, Jennifer, both of you, no matter what happens."
Was there a little piece of herself that she could pass along, to make sure it kept going forward, out of the island and back to her family?
She had lost her glasses a while ago.
Sighing, Lili turned away, and walked slowly back into the asylum, not looking back.
"Spot the rot, oh, spot the rot, ah, spot the rot, we say. Spot the rot, hmm, spot the rot, yeah, while feeding her some say, that's how it went, mhm, yeah, not getting it wrong today. Nope, nope, nope, nada, zilch, zero, no mistakes, no regrets! Regrets for losers, hmm? Ain't no loser, that's for sure. Ain't nothing but a hound dog, I think. Or a cat? No, no cats. Mom's allergic. Or was it bats? Rats? Rots. Spot the rot, we tell the tot, while feeding him some say. Say it ain't so. God, I fucking miss home. Neon meat dreams, of a octa-fish, that's what those are. That's what I am. Fishy, fishy, fishy, phony. Like a tweety bird. Queen of France."
The hallway seemed like it was swaying as she walked back to the room. Words kept her grounded in reality, somehow. Anything to take her mind away from the past and the future and sit it back down firmly in the now.
Lili was still muttering to herself when she walked back through the door. Al was still there, standing around, not shooting things.
She could try and fight him. Kizi wasn't around to object to it, and it'd be fitting to avenge her. She gave him a cursory look, up and down. She'd fight him, knock his brains out, and put him on display in the room. Peace required sacrifices, didn't it? Lili didn't know much of anything about anything, she realized. Lili was a simple girl.
"What're you looking at?" she asked, walking over to the tables with the posters on it. She probably spent more time than was necessary outside. The sky was probably dim by now. In the windowless cafeteria, there wasn't any way to tell, but that's what Lili's internal clock said at the very least. Never mind the fact that her all-nighter had fucked with her sleep cycle. What she said, went. That's how it would be, from then on.
"I'm the fucking queen of France," she said in a sing song voice, shrugging her shoulders. Lili traced Kizi's handwriting on the poster, feeling each intricate line and dash. The ones she had made were amateurish in comparison, like something a three year old would draw. Or a fetus, with undeveloped limbs. She pulled back her hands and stared at them, small splashes of color from the still-wet markers on her fingers. Her hands were shaking again. She needed a cigarette, and badly.
"You got any smokes?" were the next few words out of her mouth, as she turned and looked back at Al. Maybe she'd kiss him, instead. She'd never kissed a boy before, and, now that she thought about it, she probably never would. Was that even something she'd like? No, she wouldn't kiss Al, she'd have to give Ben a kiss when he got back from his errand. Right on the mouth, a big-time smooch.
I think I'm taking this rather well.
~~~~~ Creativity's Burning Pyre
- [+] Spoiler
- Violet Schmidt: "Well, sure, I guess I can try and help with that. Ever read Corpus Hermetica? It'll make understanding this easier." Memory-1, Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2, Pregame-3
- Lucas Diaz: "I'd apologize, but I don't want to dig things up all over again, y'know?" Memory-1, Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2
- Max Rudolph: "What the people need is a common banner under which to unite. It might not be what you want, but the fact of the matter is..." Facebook, Pregame-1, Pregame-2
- Liberty "Bert" Wren: "At eight? Let me see if that fits into my schedule. Been real busy lately." Facebook, Pregame-1
- [+] Spoiler
/ - G051: Lili Williams: "Stop..." Memory-1, Pregame-1, Island-1, Island-2, Island-3, Island-4, Island-5, Island-6, Island-7, Island-8, Island-9, Island-10, Island-11, Island-12, Island-13, Island-14, Island-15, Island-16, Island-17, Island-18, Island-19.
/ - B043: Arthur Bernstein: "I...I'll...I'll..." Memory-1, Meanwhile-2, Island-1, Island-2, Island-3, Island-4, Island-5, Island-6, Island-7, Meanwhile-1
- [+] Spoiler
- insert of lucky br8k!!!!!!!!
- insert of O.B. - white kid who is involved in politics and has divorced rich parents and issues with feeling emotions
- self-styled detective
- lou reed doing a gay voice
- insert of F.G.D. - black kid who wears a pizza hat and plays trumpet
- cute thing
- Darl from As I Lay Dying
- insert of A.B. my dorkass little brother who fancies himself a linguist and gets on my nerves
- good lives make bad stories
- insert of N.T. another floutist because I havent done one of those already
- someone who doesnt "have a good time making allies" as an advantage
- pine barrens monster from the family that has a ghost butler
- David Foster Wallace
- myself again
- insert of K.D. a pianist and if you thought bert was smol, hohohohoho