Malloon's Attempts at Creativity

Malloon
Survivor
Malloon
Survivor
Joined: July 27th, 2016, 1:51 am

April 26th, 2017, 4:58 pm #1

Since I've been working on a few things for some time now and I've never had the chance to share them or have them critiqued, I thought I might share them here.

First: Poetry. Before you CTRL + W in disgust, I think I can honestly say none of my things are important, meaningfull, or "reject the fleeting illusion of love and show what it truely means to be", whatever that means (Note: Quote not attributed to anyone. I just made it up. Put down those torches and pitchforks, please, my strawman's flammable.) This is just me putting words together and trying to make that sound good.

I've written poems in both English and German, and I know a fair portion of the site is/speaks German, but a fair portion isn't/doesn't, so I don't know if it's worth it to post the latter.

Anyway, here's one of my first attempts. It's not much, but I like it for what it is.

A Cloudy Sky

The grey light forgets all purpose.
It sits, dangling its head indoors.
The still air numbs its clammy mind,
disracts it from its uselessness.

A narrow breeze moves between trees.
A quiet sky wreaths silent shores.
The sun, and clouds it hides behind,
are reflected in slate-grey seas.

Windows let in an empty waste.
Fluorescent sunlight seeps inside.
The only life survives on screens,
but leaves a pale blue aftertaste.

Like clouds the hours pass us by:
slowly, like time itself has died;
and yet, as goes with all life's scenes,
eventually they say goodbye.

The setting sun gives some relief.
It weaves a golden work of art.
But soon the darkness engulfs all
and drowns the calming leitmotif.

The night forgoes to gift me sleep,
though weariness contains my heart.
“No more...“ I sigh, a hopeless call,
that fails to wake the silent deep.

V6 Character:
Benjamin "Squirrel" Lichter [ ~ / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / > ] - You'll find him in the clouds.
V7 Characters:
Chloe Bruges [ - ] - You'll find her doing math.
Joseph "Joey" Quintero - You'll find him writing speaches.
Keith Rogers - You'll find him out with his gang.
[+] Spoiler
Putting this here, so people know, if it ever becomes relevant (unlikely, but still): If you want to use my characters for anything non-profit, you may, without contacting me even (though it would be nice regardless). All I want is a small mention that gives me credit for first concieving of them. If you want to use my characters for something for-profit, if it's just a cameo or similar, you also may, under the same terms; if it's a more substantial role, I don't want to chain myself to any statement - then contact me.
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Espi
Winner
Joined: November 20th, 2012, 9:32 pm

April 26th, 2017, 5:10 pm #2

I enjoyed that! It flows well and you do a good job of imagery. Nice!
V5: Cut Short
Theodore Fletcher
Nina Clarke
Gwen O'Connor

V6: Broken Down
Alice Baker (->Aura)
Henry Spencer
Blair Moore

V7: Unprepared
Rhonda Lawson[/b
Toby Underwood
Paloma Salt
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Malloon
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Malloon
Survivor
Joined: July 27th, 2016, 1:51 am

April 26th, 2017, 9:00 pm #3

Hey, thanks Espi!
V6 Character:
Benjamin "Squirrel" Lichter [ ~ / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / > ] - You'll find him in the clouds.
V7 Characters:
Chloe Bruges [ - ] - You'll find her doing math.
Joseph "Joey" Quintero - You'll find him writing speaches.
Keith Rogers - You'll find him out with his gang.
[+] Spoiler
Putting this here, so people know, if it ever becomes relevant (unlikely, but still): If you want to use my characters for anything non-profit, you may, without contacting me even (though it would be nice regardless). All I want is a small mention that gives me credit for first concieving of them. If you want to use my characters for something for-profit, if it's just a cameo or similar, you also may, under the same terms; if it's a more substantial role, I don't want to chain myself to any statement - then contact me.
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1245
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1245
Winner
Joined: June 29th, 2013, 5:06 pm

April 26th, 2017, 9:45 pm #4

It is a pretty nice poem!

Also, I'd be interested in some german ones!
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Malloon
Survivor
Malloon
Survivor
Joined: July 27th, 2016, 1:51 am

April 27th, 2017, 6:51 am #5

Aw, thanks RC. I'll see what I can do.

Edit: Alright, I was pondering whether to post something old, or something unfinished. I decided old; at least then I have the excuse of it having been written a few years back.

23:01

Wer, wie, was, warum?
Wer fahrt noch um diese Zeit?
Hundert Gesichte erblicken sich;
Hundert Geschichten verstecken sich,
im Gedankengut,
im Lebensblut,
einer schlafenden Stadt.
V6 Character:
Benjamin "Squirrel" Lichter [ ~ / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / > ] - You'll find him in the clouds.
V7 Characters:
Chloe Bruges [ - ] - You'll find her doing math.
Joseph "Joey" Quintero - You'll find him writing speaches.
Keith Rogers - You'll find him out with his gang.
[+] Spoiler
Putting this here, so people know, if it ever becomes relevant (unlikely, but still): If you want to use my characters for anything non-profit, you may, without contacting me even (though it would be nice regardless). All I want is a small mention that gives me credit for first concieving of them. If you want to use my characters for something for-profit, if it's just a cameo or similar, you also may, under the same terms; if it's a more substantial role, I don't want to chain myself to any statement - then contact me.
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Malloon
Survivor
Malloon
Survivor
Joined: July 27th, 2016, 1:51 am

May 9th, 2017, 2:40 pm #6

This was my first real attempt at a sonnet. Here goes:

Courtship

Ere the years we go apart
do suffer our indignance:
Throw thyself into my heart
and slay its ghastly tenants.

Weep I shall, for free from pain,
I thought I would be never.
Love will form, a binding chain
that death itself won't sever.

If you left me for another,
even if it were my brother,
he would die with terror laden.

For I need your sweet embraces:
touching hearts, and hands, and faces.
So tell me, what says't thee, maiden?

[+] Spoiler
The speaker is meant to be an ass. I thought it would be interesting (for me) to try and make something that seemed romantic on the surface, but wasn't when you looked closer. I think I gave it a good shot.
Thoughts?
V6 Character:
Benjamin "Squirrel" Lichter [ ~ / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / + / > ] - You'll find him in the clouds.
V7 Characters:
Chloe Bruges [ - ] - You'll find her doing math.
Joseph "Joey" Quintero - You'll find him writing speaches.
Keith Rogers - You'll find him out with his gang.
[+] Spoiler
Putting this here, so people know, if it ever becomes relevant (unlikely, but still): If you want to use my characters for anything non-profit, you may, without contacting me even (though it would be nice regardless). All I want is a small mention that gives me credit for first concieving of them. If you want to use my characters for something for-profit, if it's just a cameo or similar, you also may, under the same terms; if it's a more substantial role, I don't want to chain myself to any statement - then contact me.
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