Name: Mac "Macro" Porterman
School: Cochise High School
Hobbies and Interests: Electrical Engineering, tinkering with his arm
Appearance: Mac stands at 5'10'', with blonde hair and hazel eyes. While there isn't too much off about his body, he has a battery-powered prosthetic left arm, which goes from the shoulder down and is made with an Inconel shell (Weighs about 48 lbs) painted a copper-like metallic color and has a large battery (3 lbs) inside, connected to all the joints in his arm, from the shoulder to the fingers. When the battery is disconnected, the arm becomes limp, and all joints become lax and cannot be moved. As for clothing, Mac wears a forest green tee-shirt with a motherboard-like pattern. He also wears a pair of faded blue jeans, and black sneakers to complete his minimalistic getup.
Biography: Mac lived simply, with a family, until a car crash with, what else, a drunk driver took a sibling and his arm. Once they had brought him into the hospital, a biomedical engineer had wanted to try an experimental prosthetic on him, giving him the Inconel arm, and giving him instructions on how to operate and fix it, and then they had started studying him after the fact. Due to this, Mac had become paranoid about being watched, even after they had gotten all the data required from the experiment. However, he did take an interest of messing with the wiring and functions of the arm, and started studying electrical engineering in his free time to actually make things that work. Of the modifications, he has installed a mini-lighter in the thumb that needs the battery to run, a small compartment for snacks (And, in the case of this game, weapons), and a cup holder in the palm.
Advantages: Has what could constitute as a shield, he just needs to maneuver it in the right spot. Also has a secret storage compartment in the arm. The arm itself can easily be used as a weapon, weighing near 50 lbs.
Disadvantages: His prosthetic replaced his dominant hand, his left. With the battery taken out, it's nothing but a weight and storage compartment, so he can't wield weapons as efficiently as everyone else. It's also directly connected to his nervous system, so tearing it out would result in excruciating pain and possibly death, although he can't feel through the arm itself. The arm weighs quite a bit, so he will have some difficulty in regards to getting off the ground if/when he falls.
Heya, Darkus, and welcome to SOTF!
Mac is DENIED pending some pretty serious overhaul.
Mac's appearance section is a pretty solid start. I'd like to know how much he weighs, what style he wears his hair in, whether he wears any jewelry, how his posture is. What are a few distinguishing facial features of his? I'd also like to know a bit more about his clothing, ideally what he was wearing on the day of the abduction and what styles he wears in general.
Mac's biography is where we run into some bigger issues. Mac's biography revolves entirely around one thing: his prosthetic arm. Unfortunately, the details of his arm don't mesh with the SOTF universe. SOTF is set a world much like our own, with a few little changes; unlike Battle Royale or The Hunger Games there is no super science in play. If a character isn't someone you could imagine being a fairly typical student at your high school in real life, they probably don't fit the SOTF mold. The level of change required to get the arm situation up to snuff is pretty extreme, and to be totally honest I don't think it's worth the time because the terrorists, as part of their security protocols, confiscate anything electronic from the students, which would absolutely include prosthetic arms.
More than that, what's really interesting to us is who Mac is as a person. What was his life like growing up? Who are his parents? What economic class is he from? How does he get along with his family? When did he develop his interests? How has he changed over the years? Who are his friends? How does he do in school? How does he spend his free time? What does he think about the world?
I'd really suggest giving this guide a read, especially the part labeled "Profile Content" as it deals with the sort of depth and style of information we're looking for. You should also look through some of our Approved Characters to get an idea of what completed biographies look like. Coleen Reagan is a good example of a character with some unusual traits that are still appropriately grounded and who's still solidly fleshed out beyond them.
My big suggesting here for a revamp is to think about Mac as a person, figure out what about his psychology speaks to you and how his life brought him to where he is prior to the start of the game.
Post when you've got Mac retooled, and we'll give him anther look. Thanks!