Sean made Ruby walk the plank. That was a thing Ruby was feeding her.
To say that Ami glowered would be putting it mildly. Pirate allegory or not, did Ruby honestly expect Ami to believe that? Like, even if she landed in the sand she could have broken an arm. Or maybe Ami just didn't want to believe Sean went right back into the pirate act only minutes after sobbing over Sara's body.
It felt like everything Ami just said went in one ear and out the other. She understood that Ruby felt sorry for what happened, and had there not been a voice shouting at Ami to kill herself, Ami might have accepted it. But Ami was tired, and hungry, and slowly losing her mind. All to more reason to finish what she started.
One voice wondered if Ruby would have ever thought to apologize if Ami didn't ask her why she left. Another kept reminding Ami that Ruby still had her gun, and if she wanted to shoot her, now would be the time. A third one screamed, 'Kill Ruby then kill yourself'. A forth just wanted the other voices to go away, leave me alone, please.
A fifth told her that she shouldn't have locked. Better to have a homicidal girl who was completely devoted to her than the sorts of pathetic people who are so hungry for that it obscures reality and...
"Ruby, please stop."
Ami cupped her hands over her face. She was getting a migraine. This was too much. Her thoughts were so loud she couldn't hear her mouth.
"I didn't ask for an apology, I just wanted you to tell me why you left. Stop it, stop it now.
... Ruby stopped. The voices piped down. Ami stood up. She stared pacing, running a hand through her dirty, knotted hair.
"Look, I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, and I know I can trust you. I like you Ruby. I wish I had the nerve to talk to you back home. But you do not
want to be around me now. I'm not the same person I was back home. I'm damaged goods, Ruby, I'm bad news. Almost everyone I've run into before is either dead or broken, and I know most of that isn't my fault but... I keep asking myself 'why them and not me? I should have died days ago, why am I still alive?'"
She shook her head again. Ruby was about to talk and Ami spoke over her again.
"I'm a lost cause, Ruby! I know you're not going to believe that, but it's the truth. And if you honestly think you can save me, then you're a bigger idiot than I thought."
There was a moment of silence. Ami reached for her dufflebag and opened her eyes the rest of the way. The blood on her hands was peeling off like old paint.
"I have to go." Ruby made a move to pipe up but Ami shot her down. "You have Deanna, she's nice. You have a gun too so please don't worry about me. Just forget you ever met me. It's easier that way."
Ami walked up to Ruby and gave her a quick hug. The image of a boy with trembling hands and blood-stained teeth reverberated through her head. The words 'I', 'love' and 'you' echoed through her hollowed out skull. She ignored all of it and crossed the street.
"Good bye, Ruby."
Then she pulled away and started walking. She kept walking until she was out of the ship. Ruby called out to her but Ami didn't listen and kept walking. And she kept walking until she made it to the treeline. Then she kept walking.
Ami had been weak when she arrived at the ship. Desperate for relief. That's why she gave into the little impulses. She got it into her mind that she needed punishment. But that was over now. She understood everything. It was time to do what she should have done the second she woke up. Ami could only hope and pray Mira was okay.
(Ami Flynn continued in The King of Carrot Flowers Pt. One