Let's Play CK Shattered World: Some Guys

Namira
Mr. Danya
Joined: May 28th, 2007, 12:31 pm

July 30th, 2015, 5:36 pm #1

Today, I became Count of Bourges.

Presumably this is because I am the most handsome man in France. Shaving off my hair was definitely A Good Move.

"Greetings, peasants, I am your new ruler!"

Blank stares.

"Ahem. I am the count of Bourges, here to unify this shattered realm!"

"But you're... just some guy."

"Excuse me? I am not some guy!"

"Oh, s-sorry Lord Somme-Gais!"

Wait, what?





Oh, for crying out-

FINE. If that's how it's gonna be, I'll show you, I'll show you all!





I celebrate my newfound ambition by getting married.





Tumumblemumble is a fetching Irish lass. Thick accent, but we manage.

She still calls me Naut. Goddammit.

But we get along okay.





I gain bravery.





Then a hat.





Then a son.





Good year, would year again.





*sweats nervously*





I have raised a cynical two year old. I'm proud of myself.

I celebrate by deciding that anyone who is better than me at anything is just a fricking jerk.





Without much else to do in Bourges, I decide to start lifting.







My subjects are duly impressed.





Gilbert becomes diligent and brave.





And my beloved Tumumblemumble gives me a daughter!







POACHERS!?







My advisors are weird.

Meanwhile, Gilbert reaches majority.





I promptly decide that this peace thing is getting boring.









Whoo!

Anyway, just taking lives is too basic for me. I have to create them too.





Gilbert gets married.





And... wait a minute, where did that little skull come from?





Truly he was the best of us.

Mahaut vents her grief by punching another child in the face.








Victory!

Man. War is eventful.

SotF: Mini - SCdoes a-rolling! - PV3 Prologue ongoing!
Draw Thread! - Pathfinder! - Writing Thread!
[+] Spoiler
13:58 Gianni Oh come on you broke someone's heart
13:59 Gianni you are proud, not embarrassed
13:59 Christian Yes
13:59 Christian Be proud
13:59 Christian Do we not all strive to break a human soul?
[+] Spoiler
Vincenzo/a 'Vinny' 'Enzo' Gatti | DO IT FOR THE VINE.
Toby 'Noodle' Andreasson | :|
[+] Spoiler
G008 - Kammy So'oialo | wants a new script
G062 - Becca Everett | was a damn superstar
G071 - Sunshine Cho Lee | trusted
[+] Spoiler
G026 - Rosalia Fiametta | Found it. | Walkie Talkies
G014 - Yelizaveta 'Bounce' Volkova | Out of here | Gasoline
B060 - Brock Mason | Thump. Thump |
G029 - Kristina 'Kris' Hartmann | Put Down. | Drama Bombs [∞], M79 Grenade Launcher [x6 grenades]
G117 - Jessie Anderson | Still Smiling | Faith
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Namira
Mr. Danya
Joined: May 28th, 2007, 12:31 pm

July 30th, 2015, 6:56 pm #2

Back at peace again, Gilbert expands the family tree.
[+] Spoiler



A granddaughter! Awesome!





Mahaut is turning out just like me, and frankly, that's terrifying.


I take my mind off this disturbing thought by starting another war.







In the meantime, Gilbert is attempting to murder someone.





*sniff, sniff*

I'm, s-so proud of him.


In any case, Count Hugues rolls over without much of a fight.





Gilbert provides me with a grandson in celebration.





Aw Gilbert, you're such a great kid, and you're growing up so fast! I know Bourges is going to be in good hands-





... Goddammit.

Mahaut's marriage is only a minor consolation.





As per usual healthy grieving strategies, I elect to take my mind off Gilbert's death with a good old fashioned bit of murdering.








A new title does only a little to salve the gaping agony in my heart.

Because I'm way over my demesne limit and this is screwing up my income something fierce.


Regardless, my penchant for ruthlessly butchering my countrymen has gained me some major props from the counting community.







AHAHAHAHA. I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU COULD DO IT.

TOMORROW, THE COUNTRY AND THE CROWN.





I decide to enjoy my newfound notoriety by getting old.





Left as the caregiver for my grandchildren, I begin to note that the third Naut of the line is a bit... different.





I'm not sure whether it's his repeated insistence that 'I best', or the somewhat flat part of his skull where Gilbert apparently dropped him on his head, but there's just something ... off about my grandson and heir.

Ah well. I'm sure he'll grow out of it.

'bout time for a bit more war, I think!










I'd say I felt guilty for stealing from women and small children, but that would be a lie, and I am not a liar.

Speaking of children, my granddaughter Douce is growing up fast.





She's a lovely girl, aside from her habit of torturing peasants who laugh at her name.

Unfortunately, my advisors keep making pointed noises about my titles. To whit, that I have too many.





I ignore them, being busy arranging a marriage for young Naut.







He's dense and she has a face that only a mother could love. Neither of them can do better.

Perfect match.

Then my wife gets arrested.





Well. That's annoying.

Still, it persuades me to relent and become a duke, having been told that 'super count' is not a valid title.





Now able to have vassals, I proceed to hand out some titles.

How do I partition them, you ask?

Why, good old fashioned nepotism, of course!







My grandson Leonard is only two years old but I'm pretty sure he can handle this responsibility.

With that, I decide it's high time I bring the last county of Burgundy under my rule.

Realising the relative strengths of the forces involved, the count folds without a fight.




Apparently he didn't realise I have a claim on his county, which I promptly revoke and hand off to Douce's husband.







Friednand is scary and I feel it is best to be on the good side of both him and Douce.

I note that as my home of Bourges is one half of a two county duchy, a single conflict will be enough for me to net my second dukedom, a plan which I set about putting into motion.





The count is elderly, friendless, and just lost the majority of his men fighting raiders.

This should be a cinch-





Hnghf

SotF: Mini - SCdoes a-rolling! - PV3 Prologue ongoing!
Draw Thread! - Pathfinder! - Writing Thread!
[+] Spoiler
13:58 Gianni Oh come on you broke someone's heart
13:59 Gianni you are proud, not embarrassed
13:59 Christian Yes
13:59 Christian Be proud
13:59 Christian Do we not all strive to break a human soul?
[+] Spoiler
Vincenzo/a 'Vinny' 'Enzo' Gatti | DO IT FOR THE VINE.
Toby 'Noodle' Andreasson | :|
[+] Spoiler
G008 - Kammy So'oialo | wants a new script
G062 - Becca Everett | was a damn superstar
G071 - Sunshine Cho Lee | trusted
[+] Spoiler
G026 - Rosalia Fiametta | Found it. | Walkie Talkies
G014 - Yelizaveta 'Bounce' Volkova | Out of here | Gasoline
B060 - Brock Mason | Thump. Thump |
G029 - Kristina 'Kris' Hartmann | Put Down. | Drama Bombs [∞], M79 Grenade Launcher [x6 grenades]
G117 - Jessie Anderson | Still Smiling | Faith
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Namira
Mr. Danya
Joined: May 28th, 2007, 12:31 pm

August 1st, 2015, 1:02 am #3

Naut Somme-Gais II
[+] Spoiler
These entries appear to have been predominantly written in some kind of crayon.





is me. I am new dook cause grandpaw fighted people and died.


I is good at war and also love- lovemakering.








My wife had an baby! he is glibret





He cute.

Anyway. I winned war.





But then other people are fighting me too. I don't understand why I winned but still am fighting?





But they fighted each other too, too.








Owie!


But have time for wife even when I hurt. I am good husban.





I beated one guy.





Then other guy.





Then baby borned!





She cute, too.


Beated this guy too. I best!






Magik? I'm not STOOPID!


This work when grandpaw did it with cuzzin Leo so this should be fine for Glibret.





We peace now. I make Count Renaud give a guy monies.





Then have another daughter!





Then Unk Friendnand sends me message.





That was not a very friendly message! Am taking him off christmas list!

But he has more mens than me and I don't have monies for sword fighty guys this time.

My unks are mean.


Anyway other people think I great, so I don't need them and their stoopid counties! So there!








See, I so great that I a dook TWICE, which is like, twice the dook that grandpaw was, and he was great. So I like, SUPER great.


Chap Lin came to me, said he found smart guy.





I dunno what philosfee is, but it sounds cool!


Then wife die. I sad.





But then new wife! Yay!





She nice, but miss Rhodanthe sometimes.

Flamula says it better if Burgundy is elective. Which mean people pick who in charge so they have someone they like. Since I best and they all like me, this sound good!





Cuzzin Leo grew up. I make him my head fighty guy.





Then had first baby with new wife! Yay!





She cute too.


Leon says this kid think I not best. So I beated him up.







I always best.


glibret growed up! He just like his dad.





I so proud of him.


Raymonde growed up and got married too.





And another baby. Five babies! That's lots!





then Chap Lin got pox and went crazy. I throwed him in jail.





All my little kiddos are growing up.





New Chap Lin tell me heretic living next door! Heretics are bad! They don't read bibble and they take the last cookie without asking!





WAR!


ALSO BABY.





Then get letter from Unk Friendnad. Wonder if he hear about war and want back on christmas list?





UNK FRIENDNAND YOU ARE NOT VERY FRIENDLY.


WAR FIGHTING.





WAR FIGHT WAR FIGHT WAR FI-





Renaud!?

Is this cause of that monies I made you pay?


I ask to come out.


He puts me in box.





I do not think I like Renaud very much.





We winned warfighting anyway.









Things looking good! Should be fine from now- WHAT WAS THAT NOISE!?





BEES!


AUUUUUGH!





ROAST PORK! JELLY! MEAN MEAN PERSON-


crack



SotF: Mini - SCdoes a-rolling! - PV3 Prologue ongoing!
Draw Thread! - Pathfinder! - Writing Thread!
[+] Spoiler
13:58 Gianni Oh come on you broke someone's heart
13:59 Gianni you are proud, not embarrassed
13:59 Christian Yes
13:59 Christian Be proud
13:59 Christian Do we not all strive to break a human soul?
[+] Spoiler
Vincenzo/a 'Vinny' 'Enzo' Gatti | DO IT FOR THE VINE.
Toby 'Noodle' Andreasson | :|
[+] Spoiler
G008 - Kammy So'oialo | wants a new script
G062 - Becca Everett | was a damn superstar
G071 - Sunshine Cho Lee | trusted
[+] Spoiler
G026 - Rosalia Fiametta | Found it. | Walkie Talkies
G014 - Yelizaveta 'Bounce' Volkova | Out of here | Gasoline
B060 - Brock Mason | Thump. Thump |
G029 - Kristina 'Kris' Hartmann | Put Down. | Drama Bombs [∞], M79 Grenade Launcher [x6 grenades]
G117 - Jessie Anderson | Still Smiling | Faith
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Namira
Mr. Danya
Joined: May 28th, 2007, 12:31 pm

August 13th, 2015, 12:03 pm #4

Raymonde Somme-Gais
[+] Spoiler


I am Raymonde Somme-Gais, and my father died today.

No.

My father was murdered today.

Count Renaud... they call me kind, but my father died in your dungeons.

So I shall be honest.

That man raised me, Count. He may have had questionable bathing habits, a poor grasp of language and a complete lack of anything resembling intelligence, but he was my father.

And you will pay for his death.


-

My younger sister Constance reaches majority. She has enjoyed a similar education to my own.





Renaud is not the only traitor whom I must consider... once upon a time, Counts Saxo and Friednand blackmailed my father in order to gain independence. Friednand even attacked us - both men are tied to the Somme-Gais through marriage.

One way or another, the wayward souls will be returned to the fold.






But such ambitions must wait. I am young, and I need to consolidate my position. Chartres to the north is weak, its Count said to be in a deep slumber from which he cannot wake.

A prime target.





It appears, however, that others view me in the same way...





Fortunately, our enemies lack coordination. They are not fighting together, merely attempting to exploit my perceived vulnerability.

They are sorely mistaken if they think me an easy target; we take several battles in the field.











I take charge of some aspects of the operation perfectly. The commanders are perturbed by my presence, but if they can tolerate my father, then can tolerate a woman.





My husband suspects me of infidelity. His suspicions hurt me greatly. Could one of my retainers have spread rumours?

...Renaud.





Chartres concedes defeat.







My brother in law Milman will do a fine job of managing the county.





Io wishes to name our daughter after me. In light of his... doubts, colour me sceptical. Perhaps a peace offering?





Another declaration of war arrives. Am I perceived to be so weak?





Vile cow? Really? We'll see about that, when your army lies dying.

Anjou, thankfully, sees sense.





My kindness is viewed as weakness at times... I refuse to believe that. Plaisance is turning out well.





Our battles go well.





The old enemy, Count Saxo dies. This brings Charolais back into the fold via inheritance, though it still rankles how it was originally lost. No matter. Leonard is reliable enough.





A missive from Milman is delivered to my door. I burn it the moment it is read.





Soon, Renaud...






Vengeance for my father, you bastard.


My subjects have taken to nicknaming me. I suppose it beats 'vile cow'.





I do have some credentials in the theatre of war.





My husband wishes to reclaim his family titles and has rallied a host in order to do so. I'm happy for his ambitions, particularly as our children shall be able to inherit any land Io manages to carve out for himself.





With the victory over Count Ebbon, I agree to provide what aid I can to Io. It will be an overland trek to assist him... but as I said, what gains Io makes will benefit the Somme-Gais.







Io responds by questioning my fidelity.





If he keeps this up, I am going to punch him.





In the face.


Soon enough, darling Peronelle is born.





But the labour is not an easy one. My body is exhausted, my vision clouded...

I... I can't breathe.



SotF: Mini - SCdoes a-rolling! - PV3 Prologue ongoing!
Draw Thread! - Pathfinder! - Writing Thread!
[+] Spoiler
13:58 Gianni Oh come on you broke someone's heart
13:59 Gianni you are proud, not embarrassed
13:59 Christian Yes
13:59 Christian Be proud
13:59 Christian Do we not all strive to break a human soul?
[+] Spoiler
Vincenzo/a 'Vinny' 'Enzo' Gatti | DO IT FOR THE VINE.
Toby 'Noodle' Andreasson | :|
[+] Spoiler
G008 - Kammy So'oialo | wants a new script
G062 - Becca Everett | was a damn superstar
G071 - Sunshine Cho Lee | trusted
[+] Spoiler
G026 - Rosalia Fiametta | Found it. | Walkie Talkies
G014 - Yelizaveta 'Bounce' Volkova | Out of here | Gasoline
B060 - Brock Mason | Thump. Thump |
G029 - Kristina 'Kris' Hartmann | Put Down. | Drama Bombs [∞], M79 Grenade Launcher [x6 grenades]
G117 - Jessie Anderson | Still Smiling | Faith
Quote
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Namira
Mr. Danya
Joined: May 28th, 2007, 12:31 pm

August 16th, 2015, 7:37 pm #5

Raymonde Somme-Gais
[+] Spoiler
Good news from the front. Io is victorious.





My brother Arnoul visits me as I lay in my sickbed. He's a nice boy, could look after the girls once I...





Others, apparently, disagree.





No.






Actually, throwing people in jail for trying to murder my relatives makes me feel much better.





My newfound health, apparently, has spurred advances.





Renaud's son.

I contemplated sending him to join his father then and there, but apparently that would be tyrannical.


I content myself with imaginary murder.





Io wishes my help again. Considering last time I helped him he called me unfaithful, I have decided to do the opposite.





I have my own objectives in mind, besides.





Disturbing developments on our borders; a new kingdom has arisen. I must make note of anyone who gains such strength. They could prove to be a threat.





Vendome is defeated with ease, whereupon Io sends his regards and reply to my refusal to lend aid this time.







To be frank, he's beginning to offend me.





Speaking of offensive... Count Tvrtko could stand to learn a few things. He's married to my cousin, for God's sake!




I take stock of my borders. Nearby is a friendless, heretical count struggling with financial issues.

I offer him the chance to allay some of his debts by taking his independence off his hands.





He sees sense momentarily.





As I now have a heretical, friendless count as a vassal, I decide that his seven year old son would be rather less of a problem.





My other vassals concur.







I'm fond of Milman. He has a way of ensuring inconvenient problems become less so.


In the meantime, my eldest, Plaisance, has reached majority. Swiftly she is married.






She expresses her discontent at this state of affairs.





I express to Tvrtko that if he sleeps with my daughter again, he will find subsequent sexual escapades considerably more difficult.


In any case, having consolidated my power further, I am now able to add another title to my list.

My vassals agree this is very impressive.






As does a neighbouring count.





I have a long memory. Troyes attacked us in the past and came off worse. I intend to give them their just rewards.





Troyes folds quickly.





Another duchy title and another vassal swiftly follow.






Arnoul is growing restless - deservedly so. My half-brother is a talented man, and he feels those talents are being wasted.

I offer him an assurance that he will be given greater responsibility soon enough.




And in the meantime, give him command of a force for our next military campaign.





It goes rather well.







Less pleasing news follows.





Tvrtko... we are going to have words.





On a more cheerful note, the traitor Friednand finally dies.

His son - my cousin, and a rather more agreeable fellow, is quick to pledge his allegiance, at last restoring what was lost by my father.







Now, about getting Arnoul a title...





I do not do this out of malice, or greed, I do this for my family.

The child's father was a heretic, he too has been raised amongst adherents of a heresy. Allowed to fester, and the young serpent will grow to be a venomous snake.

My conscious tears at me for this... and perhaps karmically...





I cannot falter.







I cannot compromise.






But nor will I look away.







And nor will I forget what was lost on this road.




SotF: Mini - SCdoes a-rolling! - PV3 Prologue ongoing!
Draw Thread! - Pathfinder! - Writing Thread!
[+] Spoiler
13:58 Gianni Oh come on you broke someone's heart
13:59 Gianni you are proud, not embarrassed
13:59 Christian Yes
13:59 Christian Be proud
13:59 Christian Do we not all strive to break a human soul?
[+] Spoiler
Vincenzo/a 'Vinny' 'Enzo' Gatti | DO IT FOR THE VINE.
Toby 'Noodle' Andreasson | :|
[+] Spoiler
G008 - Kammy So'oialo | wants a new script
G062 - Becca Everett | was a damn superstar
G071 - Sunshine Cho Lee | trusted
[+] Spoiler
G026 - Rosalia Fiametta | Found it. | Walkie Talkies
G014 - Yelizaveta 'Bounce' Volkova | Out of here | Gasoline
B060 - Brock Mason | Thump. Thump |
G029 - Kristina 'Kris' Hartmann | Put Down. | Drama Bombs [∞], M79 Grenade Launcher [x6 grenades]
G117 - Jessie Anderson | Still Smiling | Faith
Quote
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Namira
Mr. Danya
Joined: May 28th, 2007, 12:31 pm

September 4th, 2015, 11:02 am #6

Raymonde Somme-Gais
[+] Spoiler
Certainly, to be Queen was a long term goal of mine.




Possibly horrified by the ramification of my new office, Tvrtko dies. I do not send condolences.




I move to consolidate some of my power. Kingdoms are an uncommon sight in these lands, and France needs understand that I am not merely a glorified Duchess.




Family ties are important now more than ever. The Somme-Gais line is growing, and for us to be on good terms warms my heart.




Frankly, I rather wish that Count Phillipe would get that memo.




The heathen stronghold is eradicated. Arnoul is grateful for my assistance. I wonder if suspects just how his title was obtained...




Still, I cannot rest on my laurels. If my fledgling nation is to continue to grow in strength, I must look to our borders, and further expansion.




In what little spare time has been available to me, I have taken to the quill. Reception has been surprisingly positive.




Our forces gather to strike at Bourbon.




Sadly, it seems that our enemies are not all outside of our kingdom.




We defeat Bourbon, and I turn my attention inward.




Aymar is discouraged from continuing his plotting.




Firmly.

Raymonde comes of age. She takes after her mother.




Domestic affairs remain important, and an opportunity arises to expand my holdings in Bourges.




This goes exceptionally well.




The next few years are quiet. I work on growing our power base, visiting border lords with a firm eye on negotiations and a persuasive manner, espousing the benefits of strength in unity.






Then, tragic news.




Raymonde, you were so young...



Albeit unimaginative.


More border lords follow suit from the first, rapidly expanding my influence.









It's so much easier when they see sense.


Unlike the Zaragozians squatting in Évreux.




As our forces are rallied, I hear that Peronelle's sickness has taken a turn for the worse.




I do not make it to her side in time. Is this punishment for my actions? Am I cursed to see my children die for my sins?


My heart is heavy as our troops muster.






Age presses heavily upon my shoulders.




Regardless, victory is ours.




Rouen disputes my decision and starts a war within our own borders.




My hands are stained already. What's a little more blood for peace?






The plan fails. Rouen's son continues his battle, and I am powerless to stop him.

A bitter pill.




News from my husband's lands.




Frankly, I would be a little more sorrowful if his death wasn't a result of rank idiocy.

For appearances, I remarry. Thankfully I am old and Armando cares little for women in the first place, so the arrangement works out fine.




I'd quite forgotten the excitement of marital business. I'll just rest ... for a moment.


SotF: Mini - SCdoes a-rolling! - PV3 Prologue ongoing!
Draw Thread! - Pathfinder! - Writing Thread!
[+] Spoiler
13:58 Gianni Oh come on you broke someone's heart
13:59 Gianni you are proud, not embarrassed
13:59 Christian Yes
13:59 Christian Be proud
13:59 Christian Do we not all strive to break a human soul?
[+] Spoiler
Vincenzo/a 'Vinny' 'Enzo' Gatti | DO IT FOR THE VINE.
Toby 'Noodle' Andreasson | :|
[+] Spoiler
G008 - Kammy So'oialo | wants a new script
G062 - Becca Everett | was a damn superstar
G071 - Sunshine Cho Lee | trusted
[+] Spoiler
G026 - Rosalia Fiametta | Found it. | Walkie Talkies
G014 - Yelizaveta 'Bounce' Volkova | Out of here | Gasoline
B060 - Brock Mason | Thump. Thump |
G029 - Kristina 'Kris' Hartmann | Put Down. | Drama Bombs [∞], M79 Grenade Launcher [x6 grenades]
G117 - Jessie Anderson | Still Smiling | Faith
Quote
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Namira
Mr. Danya
Joined: May 28th, 2007, 12:31 pm

September 5th, 2015, 7:20 pm #7

Plaisance Somme-Gais
[+] Spoiler

I have succeeded my mother. It'll be good to stand on my own feet.

First order of business, my daughter getting married.





Raymonde's new husband seems strangely familiar... ah well.





I award myself a title. I'm good at this Queen thing.





I promptly realise my vassals will be annoyed if I keep it, so I give it to this other guy.

...Why are there so many Raymonds in this country?





My son Alphonse is born.





My subjects decide this makes me very trustworthy.





You know what else is trustworthy?

War.





I'm pretty good at this, too!





And another daughter, why not.





Whew... Péronelle took it out of me, though.





It's fine. Mother got very sick after my sister was born. I'm sound of constitution, and she was deathly ill.

I'm sure I'll make a swift recovery-



SotF: Mini - SCdoes a-rolling! - PV3 Prologue ongoing!
Draw Thread! - Pathfinder! - Writing Thread!
[+] Spoiler
13:58 Gianni Oh come on you broke someone's heart
13:59 Gianni you are proud, not embarrassed
13:59 Christian Yes
13:59 Christian Be proud
13:59 Christian Do we not all strive to break a human soul?
[+] Spoiler
Vincenzo/a 'Vinny' 'Enzo' Gatti | DO IT FOR THE VINE.
Toby 'Noodle' Andreasson | :|
[+] Spoiler
G008 - Kammy So'oialo | wants a new script
G062 - Becca Everett | was a damn superstar
G071 - Sunshine Cho Lee | trusted
[+] Spoiler
G026 - Rosalia Fiametta | Found it. | Walkie Talkies
G014 - Yelizaveta 'Bounce' Volkova | Out of here | Gasoline
B060 - Brock Mason | Thump. Thump |
G029 - Kristina 'Kris' Hartmann | Put Down. | Drama Bombs [∞], M79 Grenade Launcher [x6 grenades]
G117 - Jessie Anderson | Still Smiling | Faith
Quote
Like
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