Name: Jamie Snicket
Grade: Grade 12
School: Aurora High School
Hobbies and Interests: Legal Studies, Kickboxing, Soccer, Shopping, Gossiping with friends.
Appearance: Standing at a good height of 57 (170cm) and weighing in at 155lb (70kg) of muscle, Jamie is a very intimidating woman. She is Caucasian with a slightly tanned hint, with her thick legs and arms seeming to draw all the attention away from her smaller chest and body and her slightly rounded face. Her deep black hair usually cut in a bob cut help frame her facial features, particularly her deep, dark blue eyes, thin tight lips and slightly crooked nose. Any ear piercings are usually just metal studs which are taken out when doing a physical activity. Clothes for Jamie depend on the day and what she has planned. If shes feeling like shell have to pull off something cute, shell change into long dresses and beautiful skirts. If soccer or kickboxing training is on, more sporty shorts and t-shirts will appear. She favours darker colours such as dark blue and purple, as she finds it more fitting. It is rare for her to put on make up due to her physical activities, although she doesn't mind putting on some lipstick and blush if desired.
Biography: Jamie Regina Snicket was born to Tara Snicket and Lloyd Miller as an only child. Tara Snicket is a successful lawyer who runs her own firm, while Lloyd currently works in engineering on boats in the Navy. When Jamie was around 2, they divorced over growing distance between them, Tara winning the custody battle over Jamie. The relationship between Jamie and her father is quite distant, to the point of almost never seeing him at all. This combined with Taras heavy workload means that Jamie is usually never seen with her family at all. The most that her friends can work out is that Tara just tosses money at Jamie and tells her to entertain herself. As such, the relationship between the two is strained, although eerily professional. On the rare occasion Tara may have a presence to support her daughter during championship-deciding game. If she remembers that her daughter told her about it last week.
Early in life during primary school, Jamie was quite competitive and sporty. Reasoning that her mother acknowledged her when she was a winner, she started to do Soccer at an early age, being a key defender. Many people on and off the field noted her for her long and harsh tackles and movements, which she has kept to this day in her play style. Most opponents know to either avoid her at all costs or go directly for her and pray that she gets a yellow card for a bad tackle. She still plays in the seniors team and is usually put on the starting 11 just for her intimidation and force alone.
During this time, she was more or less befriended by the year groups queen bees, more devoted to being bitchy and popular. There were some very good reasons that she was taken in, mainly the fact that she seemed to have an endless supply of money, good gossip from the sporty girls, and served as a muscle deterrent against anyone who decided to speak their mind directly at them or start getting physical. Granted, in the end she had only been in one or two fights during middle school, and both had been very lanky and weak, so it wasnt much of an issue at all, but as a deterrent she served her purpose well. Jamie enjoyed being a member as it gave her a sense of power and belonging
and it was kinda fun just seeing how worse others had it and laughing at them. She constantly looks out for her friends, going shopping whenever they can get the chance and still gossiping over everything, to the annoyance of the rest of the grade.
When she was old enough, she started taking kickboxing up as a hobby at the local gym, feeling that she needed something more than just her quick footing for self-defence, as well as wanting something more challenging and official than a stupid brawl. Starting from the bottom, she slowly became one of the tougher and stronger fighters in the gym, constantly able to take down her gymmates in the ring and usually appearing in the late finals in most tournaments. She had sustained a few injuries, mostly a broken nose and a fractured finger, but nothing too bad. Her force is well known, although her slightly slow speed is her biggest weakness.
At school, she excels at Physical Education and Legal Studies. Following in her mothers footsteps, she has an odd fascination with the subject, and is quite knowledgeable in how the system works and how to work around it. Behind her back, people speculate shes studying it just to work out how to talk to her mother. Maths and science are not strong points for Jamie, and she usually just gets over them in exams and tests with minimum marks. After school, she aims to either go into collage on a sports scholarship, maybe becoming a coach or a player, depending. Alternatives include lawyer school, but shed rather just use her power into physical movement.
Jamie has moved into a very determined person. To her, ranking well and winning is a very important thing to do, not only in sports but in everyday life. She enjoys her status as one of the in people, and works to keep it that way. However, she feels she is not a leader, and usually defaults to second-in-command, agreeing with what others say and being a good follower. This makes her one of the oddest people in the crowd; a constant in the world of girl politics, content to watch others bitch over the throne.
Advantages: Jamie is strong, and she knows it. Her fighting technique is very skilled, giving her a huge advantage over anyone without a useful weapon. Stamina is also above normal with her potentially being able to last days of stressful combat. Intimidation is also a major factor, most people probably not wanting to pick a fight with her at all, a major plus in the early game.
Disadvantages: Jamie has a habit of waiting until shes needed, more content to observe than to engage, brought about by her appeal to authority. Without leadership, Jamie is much more on edge and prone to not wanting to make a bad decision and doing nothing instead of acting. Most people in Aurora High know her and the group she belongs to, either by observance or by direct contact with their mischief, giving her a very long list of enemies to deal with.
I'll be doing your profile critique this evening. Jamie is currently denied, pending a couple of minor revisions.
First, the appearance section. This is actually pretty well-written, but there are a lot of sentence fragments in it. I'd run through one more time and make these fragments into full sentences. Other than that, I feel like I get a pretty accurate picture of Jamie from the description. Out of curiosity, does she wear makeup or anything? Or does she go with a more natural look?
In the first paragraph of her biography, what is a finals game? Is it a soccer reference? You might want to specify here, in case you have readers that aren't familiar with the terminology.
Really, other than that, everything looks good. I think you've covered everything we request in her biography, it flows well, and I feel like I have a pretty good picture of Jamie, both physically and as a person. There are just a few really minor things to fix, and she'll be on her way.