This wasnt supposed to be this long, but apparently I am writing a small novel here. I wanted to start by thanking everyone for their thoughts and prayers. My family and I have really needed them over the past few days, and will probably need them for the foreseeable future.
This may be a bit for some people to read, but there are a few things I need to clarify. When I PMd Dan, Dodd, Aaron, and Mimi after it happened, I was in shock and I said Jerred had hanged himself, not realizing the mental image that word immediately brings up. Someone says hanged, and you picture the typical Hollywood image of someone tying themselves up high, kicking out a piece of furniture or box, and dangling.
That is not the case with my brother. Strangely and sadly, my brothers feet were still in contact with the floor. It is a detail I will never be able to forget. His friends and my family have searched through all of his belongings. Every email, facebook, myspace, and LJ account he had. Weve sifted all of his papers and backpack. Weve scoured his computers history and files. He had been texting friends on his phone, and earlier Saturday evening, we had even been voice chatting with some of you on Skype. There is absolutely no evidence anywhere that he was troubled or that something bothering him.
The coroner has officially ruled my brothers death an accident. A terrible, horrible, tragic accident. That brings some comfort to my family, but it does not change the fact that we will not see him again until we go to join the Lord ourselves. I'm sure Jerred is busy saving seats for some of you. Dan, hell make sure to save you a seat at the bar, next to the hot girls.
For some people somewhere, there is a silver lining to all of this. Jerred was a registered organ donor, and the Nor Cal organ donation team was able to successfully harvest organs which will provide some people with a new lease on life. So in our tragedy, they have received the miracles they prayed so hard for. The knowledge that my brother was able to help people and will live on in some small part is very comforting to me.
We are holding his viewing tomorrow (Friday, 10/2) evening at a local funeral home, and his memorial service will be at a local church on Saturday morning at 11 am Pacific. My parents and sisters and I have discussed it, and we really could not handle having a house full of flowers. In his obituary, we asked that in lieu of flowers, people make a donation to our county library. Since he was a tiny boy, Jerred loved reading. One of the special things we would do together was make trips to the library or hit up the bookstore. So my request of you guys is that if you feel like doing something to remember my brother, a donation to your local library would be awesome. Libraries are always underfunded and understaffed, so even a donation of your time would be fantastic.
I dont know when or if I will ever return to SoTF, but I will drop by chat and hang out from time to time. What passes for normal in chat helps me to remember all of the good times and laughter that we have shared.
Thank you all again, for everything.