If That's Who I Am, Then I'll Fight Who I Am

One of the biggest and grandest rooms in the hospital, the group therapy room was once used to treat many of the low-risk patients at once. A regular session saw them sitting in a circle and sharing their feelings with the group, though any semblance of a homey atmosphere is undercut by signs on the wall warning of constant doctor vigilance and directing patients not to touch any staff. A circle of roughly twenty chairs, some more stable than others, is arranged in the center of room, an example of the old treatment process that has been frozen in time. The decor in the room matches the elaborate design of the exterior of the hospital with a high-ceiling, large glass chandelier, and the corners of the room being designed to imitate pillars. Also in this room are many suitcases stacked high in one corner; name tags reveal they used to belong to patients and have been abandoned along with the hospital itself during the clean-up process.

If That's Who I Am, Then I'll Fight Who I Am

Ciel
Mr. Danya
Joined: May 26th, 2007, 12:17 am

February 15th, 2017, 11:35 pm #1

(Audrey Reyes continued from Hang in There.)

Audrey forgot what day it was. Not the day of the week, the 'day'. Day 7? Day 10? It is hard to keep your inner clock set when you sleep for twenty hours straight.

Audrey knew it was a terrible idea to let herself sleep for so long on the familiar floor of the therapy room. She could not help it though. You see, Audrey Reyes had the miraculous superpower of being able to lay down and sleep anywhere, anytime. On the couch, in the waiting room of the doctor's office, even on the cold, dirty linoleum floor. She got it from her mother's side. It was unusual for her to sleep for such a long stretch of time though.

She was still fuming about Al, even as she was waking up. Alessio, who just up and ditched her after she nearly saved his life. Audrey defended her out of the goodness of her heart and -

And it was all a waste of breath. And for what? So Alessio can go and kill a bunch of other people?

She did not want to think of Al like that, because Al is - was - her friend. But it's not like her saving him meant anything to him. If it did, he might have not been so eager to scamper away as he did.

It was nighttime when Audrey fell asleep. It was nighttime when Audrey finally woke up, and without any way to tell the time, she wasn't even sure how long she slept for. The loudspeakers managed to wrench her from REM, but just barely. So she *knew* she was asleep for a long, long time. She also knew that she did not listen to the announcements, so she wasn't even sure if Al ended up killing anyone else. Quite frankly she did not want to know. Ignorance is bliss.

You want to know the worst part about sleeping for twenty hours straight?

No dreams. No fading little memories of traveling to space, no visions of sugar plums dancing in her head. No nightmares of terrorists killing Audrey's teachers. Just, nothing. Like a movie dissolving from one shot to the next, implying the passage of time rather than showing it.

That's the worst. She hated it. She hated this Orwellian death game. But she didn't exactly have much choice in the matter.

Audrey found it difficult to sit up but she managed it. She grunted, feeling the muscles in her neck strain as she craned her neck. She rubbed away the sleep in her eyes with the sleeve of her hoodie and wondered whether she should just kill herself or not.

The thought seemed extreme, sudden, but to Audrey it was a good question.

What was she even doing here?

Why was she even wasting her time? It wasn't like she was ever going to survive.

Should she just wait for someone to kill her? Or would it be better to cut out the middleman?

... Head in her hands, Audrey cursed. She shut her eyes tight. This was ridiculous. Audrey was being silly. She had to get a lid on herself, "compartmentalize." There had to be something she was missing, some way she could get back home without doing the unthinkable. "Compartmentalize." She was going to be a director for christsake, she couldn't just give up on that! "Compartmentalize."

Audrey slapped the side of her head. She breathed in deep and exhaled through her nose.

She would not let this game beat her. But that meant she had to play it.

Audrey was tired of a lot of things, but she was especially tired of this Futilitarian bullshit.
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Yugikun
Mr. Danya
Joined: September 17th, 2014, 5:36 am

February 18th, 2017, 1:27 am #2

This place was familiar.

((Alvaro Vacanti, continued from When Can I Stop Being Bad?))

Even though it was dark, even though it was hard for his eyes to see, he still recognised this place. The hallways. The open rooms besides them. He had been here before. He had walked down this hallway before. The feeling of deja vu that emerged as he began to creep was growing and growing with every passing step. The gun had been laid to side in his hands earlier, but it was now raised. He had been here before. He knew it. He didn’t know when exactly and he didn’t know exactly where in the asylum it was but he knew it. He knew it. The feeling of the night was cold and all the thoughts from before still yet lingered in his mind but the one thing there, the one thought that prevailed, was the feeling of familiarity. He had been here before. He was sure of it.

The corpse in the middle of the hallway confirmed his suspicions.

He had stood there, for a while, looking at Jasper. At his corpse. At what he had done. Two days ago - no, more than that, he had forgotten - he hadn’t been like this. He was alive. Smiling. Talking to his friend.

And now he was like this.

A corpse.

And it was all Alvaro’s fault.

…

He knew what had to happen now.

He knew he had to do this.

But could he?

He didn’t know.

So he stepped forward. Past the corpse. There was a trail of blood, going past it. He took his steps, turned.

“I-”

It was her.

She was there.

She was standing there.

“Audrey?”

The gun dropped from his hands. Clattered to the floor.

“I-”

He knew what he had to do now.

“I need you to do something for me.”
[+] spoiler


G???: Anna "Roxanne" Herbert - "...It's a god-awful small affair..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2 3
THEME: Dire Straits - Skateaway

G???: Teresa Rojas - "..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2
THEME: Tata Young - Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me

B???: Jonathan Meyers - "..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1
THEME: Kate Miller-Heidke - Caught In The Crowd
[+] spoiler
Ashley Tanner - The Tattooed Jackass - "We got the music, we got the drinks, I think we have a recipe for some rock n' roll."
Yuko Hayashibara - The Tomboy - "Yo, homeboy, come over here. I wanna play some ball."
[+] spoiler


B003: Jeremy Frasier - ?Yeah. No regrets.? - 57%
Kills: 2 | Equipped with: Scoped Raging Bull, $1000, Wooden Baseball Bat, Eyepatch, Pancor Jackhammer
PREGAME - Past: 1 2 3 | Present: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Sadie Hawkins: 1 2
V6: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
THEME: OneRepublic - Love Runs Out

B013: Alvaro Vacanti - ?Thank... you...? - 41%
Kills: 3 | Equipped with: MAC-10
PREGAME - Past: 1 2 3 | Present: 1 2 3 4 5 | Sadie Hawkins: 1 2
V6: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
THEME: The Megas - The Haystack Principle

G030: Jasmine King - "I win." - 11%
Kills: 0 | Equipped with: Brass Knuckles
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2 3 | Sadie Hawkins: 1
V6: 1 2 3 4 5
THEME: Luck Ganriki - golden sneer


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Ciel
Mr. Danya
Joined: May 26th, 2007, 12:17 am

February 21st, 2017, 12:44 am #3

Audrey turned her head. Towards the voice

There was barely any reaction from her. The turn of her head and their matched eye-contact was the only indication that she even heard Alvaro.

One of her legs wobbled. She was halfway through standing up when Alvaro entered the picture. It only took a second to straighten herself, a brief moment of weakness.

She did not respond to Alvaro at first. Her throat felt dry and she coughed into a clenched fist.

Audrey wanted to be mad. She wanted to scream at Alvaro, chuck something at his head. That's what she said she would do if she ever saw Alvaro Vacanti again.

She wasn't mad though. She didn't have it in her. Alvaro picked the best moment to wander back into Audrey's life; when she was at her weakest. She was just too tired to stay mad at him, too tired to react accordingly. In hindsight, that scared the shit out of her. What if he pulled a gun out on her and shot her dead? Somehow she doubted that would ever happen. Jasper only died because Alvaro was jumpy. She knew that, and she had a feeling Alvaro knew that as well. It was an accident. That didn't clean Alvaro's hands, but it was an accident. And if he had killed anyone else after Jasper... Well. Audrey slept through the announcements. Ignorance is bliss. She guessed.

Audrey wiped the growing tears in his eyes away. Wait, was she sneering?

"Yeah, Alvaro. Hi."

Okay. Maybe she was still a bit pissed. Still bitter. Audrey wasn't perfect for christsake.

Alvaro needed Audrey to do something for him. She grunted,

"I - " Audrey sniffled. The muscles in her lips ached. "I don't think you're in any position to be asking for favors, Alvaro."
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Yugikun
Mr. Danya
Joined: September 17th, 2014, 5:36 am

February 21st, 2017, 1:08 am #4

He stepped forward. His face dropped. His eyes went up. Into Audrey's. Into her's.

"Please, I..."

He looked down. Away. Up again.

"...I can't do this anymore. I need you to..."

He stopped. Paused. Looked away, again.

"I need you to help me with something. I need you to-"

He breathed. In, out.

"I need you to do it for me."
[+] spoiler


G???: Anna "Roxanne" Herbert - "...It's a god-awful small affair..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2 3
THEME: Dire Straits - Skateaway

G???: Teresa Rojas - "..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2
THEME: Tata Young - Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me

B???: Jonathan Meyers - "..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1
THEME: Kate Miller-Heidke - Caught In The Crowd
[+] spoiler
Ashley Tanner - The Tattooed Jackass - "We got the music, we got the drinks, I think we have a recipe for some rock n' roll."
Yuko Hayashibara - The Tomboy - "Yo, homeboy, come over here. I wanna play some ball."
[+] spoiler


B003: Jeremy Frasier - ?Yeah. No regrets.? - 57%
Kills: 2 | Equipped with: Scoped Raging Bull, $1000, Wooden Baseball Bat, Eyepatch, Pancor Jackhammer
PREGAME - Past: 1 2 3 | Present: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Sadie Hawkins: 1 2
V6: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
THEME: OneRepublic - Love Runs Out

B013: Alvaro Vacanti - ?Thank... you...? - 41%
Kills: 3 | Equipped with: MAC-10
PREGAME - Past: 1 2 3 | Present: 1 2 3 4 5 | Sadie Hawkins: 1 2
V6: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
THEME: The Megas - The Haystack Principle

G030: Jasmine King - "I win." - 11%
Kills: 0 | Equipped with: Brass Knuckles
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2 3 | Sadie Hawkins: 1
V6: 1 2 3 4 5
THEME: Luck Ganriki - golden sneer


Hi! I have a blog! Please check it out and follow and stuff!
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Ciel
Mr. Danya
Joined: May 26th, 2007, 12:17 am

February 21st, 2017, 3:28 am #5

Audrey squinted, sighed through clenched teeth. Okay, compartmentalize. Alvaro clearly needs her for something. She should stop being so passive aggressive and listen to him.

Her heart fluttered for a brief moment as their eyes locked. Alvaro said that he can't do this anymore. He needed her help to do something. Alvaro could not look Audrey in the eyes when he said that.

Alvaro was acting strange. Talking strange, looking strange, breathing strange.

That, in itself, wasn't all that strange. Come on. He did kill a bunch of people in the past couple of days. Audrey could not blame him for changing; the island changed her too, as much as she did not want to admit it.

What was 'strange' was what Alvaro was asking her to do.

He wanted her to do 'it'. 'It' being...?

She squinted even harder at that.

"Okay, hold on."

Audrey took a step forward, arms crossed under her chest.

"You need to slow down Alvaro. I have no idea what you're asking."

Another step forward. They were only three feet away from one another. Audrey looked Alvaro straight in the eye.

"What exactly do you want me to do?"

Audrey thought she was giving him the benefit of the doubt.
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Yugikun
Mr. Danya
Joined: September 17th, 2014, 5:36 am

February 21st, 2017, 3:56 am #6

“Kill me.”

A pause.

“I need you to kill me.”
[+] spoiler


G???: Anna "Roxanne" Herbert - "...It's a god-awful small affair..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2 3
THEME: Dire Straits - Skateaway

G???: Teresa Rojas - "..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2
THEME: Tata Young - Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me

B???: Jonathan Meyers - "..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1
THEME: Kate Miller-Heidke - Caught In The Crowd
[+] spoiler
Ashley Tanner - The Tattooed Jackass - "We got the music, we got the drinks, I think we have a recipe for some rock n' roll."
Yuko Hayashibara - The Tomboy - "Yo, homeboy, come over here. I wanna play some ball."
[+] spoiler


B003: Jeremy Frasier - ?Yeah. No regrets.? - 57%
Kills: 2 | Equipped with: Scoped Raging Bull, $1000, Wooden Baseball Bat, Eyepatch, Pancor Jackhammer
PREGAME - Past: 1 2 3 | Present: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Sadie Hawkins: 1 2
V6: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
THEME: OneRepublic - Love Runs Out

B013: Alvaro Vacanti - ?Thank... you...? - 41%
Kills: 3 | Equipped with: MAC-10
PREGAME - Past: 1 2 3 | Present: 1 2 3 4 5 | Sadie Hawkins: 1 2
V6: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
THEME: The Megas - The Haystack Principle

G030: Jasmine King - "I win." - 11%
Kills: 0 | Equipped with: Brass Knuckles
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2 3 | Sadie Hawkins: 1
V6: 1 2 3 4 5
THEME: Luck Ganriki - golden sneer


Hi! I have a blog! Please check it out and follow and stuff!
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Ciel
Mr. Danya
Joined: May 26th, 2007, 12:17 am

February 21st, 2017, 5:58 am #7

Audrey slapped Alvaro so hard it left a mark.

It did not fully sink in that she struck Alvaro. Slapped him open-palmed across the cheek. Not until her brain registered the stinging in her hand.

Audrey thought she didn't have it in her to be mad.

She thought wrong. She thought SO wrong.

It was like pulling teeth trying to keep her composure, to compartmentalize. Because Audrey was already at breaking point. She was already thinking about killing herself. Now there was a line that she could not cross, a line overlooking a cliff and Alvaro was pushing her over. He was pushing her and he didn't even care! He didn't give a fuck did he? God she was going to lose her shit. She was going to lose her shit at a known killer that would get her killed, or humiliate her family, or both. That scared her.

He scared her.

He was a killer. And he was asking Audrey to kill him.

"You're shitting with me, there's no way -"

She took a step back. Audrey laughed, the nerves were eating her alive.

" - Y-You can't be serious. This has to be a joke, right? I can't..."

Another step back. She was shaking her head vigorously, so hard that it honestly hurt her head.
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Yugikun
Mr. Danya
Joined: September 17th, 2014, 5:36 am

February 23rd, 2017, 5:30 am #8

He did it.

He said it.

Everything had stopped around the two of them. The world had become silent. The room had faded away, and now Audrey was the only other thing that remained. Her eyes. Her expression. He didn’t know what she was thinking. He could only look. He could only think. He could only hope that even after what he had done, even after killing all these people, that she still cared enough for him to do it. To help him.

There was a flash of movement.

There was a feeling of sharp pain, on his cheek, stinging and bulging and making the bruises underneath grow.

And immediately, Alvaro knew what Audrey’s answer was. She was talking, moving around the question. She was trying to make it seem like she didn’t know, but he knew. Her answer was no. She wasn’t going to kill him. She was going to leave him alone for him to continue being on this island and he knew that other people would find him and he knew that they’d hate him for what he did the people he had killed and they were going to shout at him for it they were going to try and take revenge they were going to fight and he was going to kill them he would have to and then it’d happen all over again and again and he’d be fighting and killing and fighting again.

No.

He wouldn’t let that happen.

He had to die. Audrey had to kill him. Right here. Right now.

But she wasn’t.

She wasn’t letting him go. She wasn’t letting him leave.

So he had to make her. Attack him. Kill him. End his life.

He had to do it.

He had to make her.

He had to do something.

It was the only thing he knew, at this point.

The foot went up.
[+] spoiler


G???: Anna "Roxanne" Herbert - "...It's a god-awful small affair..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2 3
THEME: Dire Straits - Skateaway

G???: Teresa Rojas - "..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2
THEME: Tata Young - Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me

B???: Jonathan Meyers - "..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1
THEME: Kate Miller-Heidke - Caught In The Crowd
[+] spoiler
Ashley Tanner - The Tattooed Jackass - "We got the music, we got the drinks, I think we have a recipe for some rock n' roll."
Yuko Hayashibara - The Tomboy - "Yo, homeboy, come over here. I wanna play some ball."
[+] spoiler


B003: Jeremy Frasier - ?Yeah. No regrets.? - 57%
Kills: 2 | Equipped with: Scoped Raging Bull, $1000, Wooden Baseball Bat, Eyepatch, Pancor Jackhammer
PREGAME - Past: 1 2 3 | Present: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Sadie Hawkins: 1 2
V6: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
THEME: OneRepublic - Love Runs Out

B013: Alvaro Vacanti - ?Thank... you...? - 41%
Kills: 3 | Equipped with: MAC-10
PREGAME - Past: 1 2 3 | Present: 1 2 3 4 5 | Sadie Hawkins: 1 2
V6: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
THEME: The Megas - The Haystack Principle

G030: Jasmine King - "I win." - 11%
Kills: 0 | Equipped with: Brass Knuckles
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2 3 | Sadie Hawkins: 1
V6: 1 2 3 4 5
THEME: Luck Ganriki - golden sneer


Hi! I have a blog! Please check it out and follow and stuff!
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Ciel
Mr. Danya
Joined: May 26th, 2007, 12:17 am

February 24th, 2017, 6:24 am #9

And it landed right at the center of Audrey's stomach.

Audrey flew down, crumpled to the floor. Her arms hugged her torso. The pain was sudden, jutting through her belly and up through her chest. For a second Audrey swore she couldn't breathe. She started panting frantically. Tears welled up in her eyes. She was trying her hardest to breath but it was like she could not inhale.

She didn't know what in the blue hell Alvaro did. It was so sudden. One moment she was on her feet, the next she was crawling back like a pathetic bug. She did not see the kick. All she knew was that Alvaro hurt her.

It was the slap, she thought. He was mad that she slapped him so he hit her back.

Audrey crawled backwards on one elbow. Her feet scrambled, her sneakers squeaking across the floor. There was a bang somewhere in the distance, but Audrey had neither the ability nor the inclination to wonder where the source of the noise came from. Her brain was off-kilter, she barely had any inkling of where she was until she bumped her shoulder against one of the chairs.

That's when she knew that she was about as far away from the door as one could get. And the only thing standing between her and the door is Alvaro.

Alvaro did not cut a very menacing presence, but Audrey was scared shitless.

"Oh please," Audrey said in shuddering, straining gasps. "Please don't kill me."
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Yugikun
Mr. Danya
Joined: September 17th, 2014, 5:36 am

February 24th, 2017, 7:34 am #10

The kick connected. Audrey fell. Crawled back.

He hadn’t hit her that hard, didn’t he? He didn’t know. Did he intend to kick her? Yes. Did he intend to attack her? Yes. Did he intend to kill her?

No. No. No. He didn’t. He didn’t. Maybe it was supposed to hurt her. Maybe doing that was unavoidable. He knew that. He had meant to kick her. He had meant to attack her. But she was on the ground. She was in pain because of what he did. Did he mean that? Did he intend to do that? He didn’t know. He knew what he did. He knew why he was doing it. He knew that this had to happen and that he had to do it but did it have to happen like this? Did he have to hurt Audrey in order to do it? He didn’t know. He didn’t know and he didn’t want to hurt Audrey but he had to because this had to happen he had to die she had to kill him but why did it have to be this way? Why did he have to hurt more people? Why did Audrey have to be on the floor, clutching herself in pain?

He didn’t know.

But he knew that this had to happen.

He stepped forward.

Raised his foot.

And then she spoke. Asked him not to kill her. Laid below his foot, hands clutched over her stomach. Begging for mercy. Looking into his eyes, hoping that he wouldn’t make her like the others.

And it was Audrey.

And she had been there, after the fight with Min-jae. She helped him. She believed him. She was willing to let him be with her.

And she had said no, when he told her to do it. She didn’t want to. She didn’t want his life gone.

And she had made him happy.

And she had made him feel wanted.

And she had been unlike everyone else who he had seen on this island. She didn’t hate him. She wanted to help him. She wanted to protect him.

He didn’t know what to do.

He didn’t know what to say.

“I’m-”

But he knew she had to do it.

He knew that he couldn’t be here any longer.

“I’m sorry, but this has to-”

The first bullet hit his back, piercing through as his body stumbled forward.

The second bullet hit his lung, and the breath was torn out of his body.

The third bullet missed, and he heard the noise it made as ever so familiar.

The fourth bullet hit his stomach.

The body dropped.
[+] spoiler


G???: Anna "Roxanne" Herbert - "...It's a god-awful small affair..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2 3
THEME: Dire Straits - Skateaway

G???: Teresa Rojas - "..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2
THEME: Tata Young - Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me

B???: Jonathan Meyers - "..." - 0%
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1
THEME: Kate Miller-Heidke - Caught In The Crowd
[+] spoiler
Ashley Tanner - The Tattooed Jackass - "We got the music, we got the drinks, I think we have a recipe for some rock n' roll."
Yuko Hayashibara - The Tomboy - "Yo, homeboy, come over here. I wanna play some ball."
[+] spoiler


B003: Jeremy Frasier - ?Yeah. No regrets.? - 57%
Kills: 2 | Equipped with: Scoped Raging Bull, $1000, Wooden Baseball Bat, Eyepatch, Pancor Jackhammer
PREGAME - Past: 1 2 3 | Present: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 | Sadie Hawkins: 1 2
V6: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
THEME: OneRepublic - Love Runs Out

B013: Alvaro Vacanti - ?Thank... you...? - 41%
Kills: 3 | Equipped with: MAC-10
PREGAME - Past: 1 2 3 | Present: 1 2 3 4 5 | Sadie Hawkins: 1 2
V6: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
THEME: The Megas - The Haystack Principle

G030: Jasmine King - "I win." - 11%
Kills: 0 | Equipped with: Brass Knuckles
PREGAME - Past: 1 | Present: 1 2 3 | Sadie Hawkins: 1
V6: 1 2 3 4 5
THEME: Luck Ganriki - golden sneer


Hi! I have a blog! Please check it out and follow and stuff!
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