Penelope took a deep breath to calm herself, rubbing her puffy eyes.
She sighed and looked Johnny up and down, finally taking the time to examine him. She felt it would be best to introduce herself to him properly, but it seemed that Raina and Johnny had catching up to do, and she had interrupted them long enough as it stood.
Penelope stared up at the sky, averting her gaze from the ashen ruins that had once been a library. No matter how hard she tried to focus on and think of anything else, whenever she looked up she couldn't help but remember the oft clear skies of her home. The place where her family still was, terrified out of their minds for her safety. Her sisters would have to spend the rest of their lives without their older sister there with them. Her parents would never forgive themselves for letting her go on the trip when they knew that the terrorists were still out there.
Her family would be shattered by her forthcoming death, and they would just be one family of nearly a hundred.
And all of that said nothing about what she thought of the whole situation. The thought of her own death scared her to no end. Try as she might to imagine it, she simply couldn't comprehend the idea of not existing. Not feeling or thinking anything, not being able to remember that she was even once alive. She had compared it to an eternal, dreamless sleep, but that description failed to truly do it justice. It was an oblivion that could never be taken back, never acknowledged, never experienced. She would be gone, and the world would move on as if she never even existed in the first place. All she would be, in the end, is a number. One that would be quickly forgotten, along with everything she managed to do in her short life.
Her ears picked up on a lull in the conversation between Johnny and Raina, and she turned her attention back over to them, pulling herself out of her spiral.
"Hey, could we... could we get out of here if that's... if that's alright?" She said, timidly, not wanting to upset Raina. "It doesn't seem like there's anything of use here and it's... bringing up a lot of bad feelings on my end. Plus uh... Kizi and Lili are probably waiting for us back at the asylum."
She picked herself up, not caring to dust off the ash now staining her entire lower body. She forced a smile as she hoisted her bag over her shoulder, in an effort to pretend that the island wasn't getting to her.
"I'll just... wait nearby, for you two to finish up."
((Penelope Fitzgerald continued in Minus Something