((Oskar Pearce continued from Ice Cream Truck Beat))
It was always so eerie entering the graveyard. No matter the time of day or how many other people were filtering about the area, there were always some hollowness in the air. Oskar supposed it was the everpresent knowledge that this was a place where dreams were crushed, loves were lost, families were fractured beyond repair.
A bushel of posies clasped in one hand and a water bottle in the other, Oskar made his way across the stone pathway to his destination, bundled up in his patchwork cardigan and long, multicoloured scarf. It was still early morning - the sun was just peeking over the horizon and the weather was still bitingly cold. Only the occasional chirp of sprightly birdsong broke the dreary atmosphere of the area. He figured hed be forced to shed his covers soon enough when the temperature began to rise once more, but the orange t-shirt he wore underneath meant he wouldnt lose any of his vibrancy whilst doing so. Even in an area as solemn as a graveyard, he still couldnt bring himself to dress in darker colours.
His mothers grave wasnt the most eye-catching in the plot, with its simple headstone and collection of small pot plants clustered around it; modest and humble, two qualities nobody could ever deny Tabitha Pearce possessed in her life.
Hey mum, he squatted gently beside her tombstone, placing the bouquet of flowers upon the bed of grass that coated her gravesite. How are you?
It was his usually way of greeting her, now; a force-of-habit he never really thought about in much depth.
Things are going alright for me, I guess, he continued, only intermittently looking up at the golden engraved loops that formed her name across the polished stone. Classes are going well! Science is
pretty hard, but its fine - I just needa study a bit more. Cant wait till schools over for good and I never have to look at another one of those formulas ever again.
I think... I think thats, like, the only really good thing thatll come from leaving high school. Im gonna miss my friends so much; whos to say Ill ever see Juni or Jasper or Danny or Tabby again? He paused for a moment, wondering if he ought to continue with such a downer of a subject. Ordinarily the answer was so obvious he didnt even need to contemplate it: just keep on with the positivity and bury all those anxieties so deep he didnt recognise them. But here, alone with his mother, the very woman whod taught him just how to keep everything covered up, it was so easy for everything to come spilling out.
I know everyones saying well all see each other again! Well keep in contact! But what if we dont? I dont know what Ill do without my friends. I know Ill make new ones at college - therell be clubs to join and parties to go to and kids at my dorm to meet. But what if they dont like me? All Ive ever wanted is to be liked and respected, and I feel like I have that with my friends here. What happens if the people at college dont think Im cute, if they think Im annoying and a try-hard?
As he caught his breath from the stream of babbling that had evacuated his mouth, Oskar shook his head and tried to compose himself. What was his mother thinking of him - and his inability to contain himself - right now? What would she say if her voice could pass through his ears once more? In some ways, Oskar didnt care; just being able to hear her soft voice again, no matter the subject matter
he didnt know just how much hed sacrifice for that opportunity. As it was, though, he found himself able to muster the strength to push everything back, to get back on track with the idle chit-chat that composed most of their chats. Opening up was a luxury and a weakness he could only rarely afford.
Im sorry. I dont mean to bring up all of this stuff. You must get annoyed with me - all I ever seem to talk to you about is sad stuff. So, Ill
Ill try and focus on more positive stuff for you, okay?
For my degree, Im still tossing up between doing, like, English and Music or doing Public Relations. At the moment Im kindaaaa thinking more like PR. I love the idea of studying what I love, but nothings gonna stop me from singing or reading if I choose a different, more practical degree, right? Just ask dad - the amount of time I spend at the library or singing in the shower drives him crazy. I guess I could do a conjoint, but thats a scary amount of work, and you know how I get when Im stressed. A memory of himself, ice-cream caked around the corners of his mouth and a half-melted chocolate bar laying beside briefly passed through his mind as he continued.
All I know with college is that I wanna get into one out of state. I wanna go somewhere big and vibrant and exciting. Dont worry, though! Ill come back to visit you, I promise. Ill even go to see dad. I know thats what youd want, for me to check up on him. And things are actually okay with him at the moment. Hes got a couple new girls, Paula and Edie. Theyre nice. Paulas honest about
everything, which is an admirable trait, I guess. And Edies quite quirky - she likes what I wear! None of dads girls have liked what Ive worn before. Its only really been you that has. So I guess things are moving in a good direction. He hesitated, pulling the brakes on his tangent as he realised the path his speech was beginning to travel down. Im sorry, Im so silly! I told you Id only talk about positive stuff and here I am rambling about dad and his girls.
He didnt speak for awhile after that. The silence left by his finished sentence stretched on for a long time, the only sounds in the area the wind rustling through the trees and the birds whirling above him as he lifted one of the pot plants up to wipe away the light film of dust and grime itd accumulated since his last visit. It took awhile before another worthwhile conversational topic came to the forefront of his mind, and he almost leapt to his feet as it did so.
Oh, another thing! Oskar breathed a sigh of relief that he hadnt fully forgotten, cringing at the thought of the internal chiding hed have subjected himself to had he only remembered once hed returned home. Ive got a solo in choir! Its from Sweeney Todd, and its called Green Finch and Linnet Bird. I dont really know much about Sweeney - you know me; if it isnt Disney then forget it - but the songs beautiful! Id sing a bit for you, but I dont really know the words yet, and I wouldnt wanna give you a performance that isnt one hundred percent!
I have to go now. His voice was tinted with the hint of waver; he didnt want to leave the comfort of this place, didnt know the next time hed be able to visit her. I wanna get back before dad wakes up and asks where Ive been. But before I do
even if I cant sing that new song, an old favourites just as good, right?
He cleared out his throat, adjusted his posture, and began. His mother had so rarely been able to hear him sing with any skill while she still lived and breathed, and he was determined to make up for it now.
And as the suns rays completely washed over the area and the final notes of Oskars song hung in the air, he gently murmured I miss you, mum.
That was an emotion she wouldve been okay with.
((Oskar Pearce continued in All in the Golden Afternoon))
1 post • Page 1 of 1
Goodbye May Seem Forever
- Joined: November 18th, 2012, 7:49 pm