Theyd talked like they were old friends. Well, in truth, they were old friends. Jay wasnt exactly sure what it meant to say talking like old friends but he knew it was a good thing. The conversation flowed on endlessly, Hayley Kelly and Jay Holland two stupid stoners, recounting exploits and jokes, having the time of their life at the end of their lives. Oddly poetic, completely stupid and utterly terrifying. But he didnt mind. Hayley was Hayley, and well, he was Jay Holland. He wasnt much of anything to begin with, but at least he hadnt changed.
He never would change. Ema, Hayley, Janet and Jay. Only one of them would survive, if any. What chance would he stand in the final four, against them? He couldnt kill Janet; it just wasnt in the cards. He still couldnt believe just what had happened to Hayley- but he wasnt about to kill her either. He barely knew Ema, but that counted for shit all. She was quiet, but she was hot and she was Hayleys bitch. That meant no killing her either.
So what was he to do? There was no one he could kill. He was right and good, proper fucked. He was stuck as he was right then, a dopey stoner who couldnt really cope with reality. Hed die like that, same as it ever was.
Is that a bad thing? Really- is that really such a bad thing? I should like me. Im not that bad a dude
Fuckit. Just fuckit.
Jay sighed and sat down, spreading out his pack next to Janet. The sun was setting, and they were going to camp for the night. Not much had happened- He supposed that was a good thing. More kids had probably died. He sighed again.
How in the hell was he still going?
He looked over at Janet. He felt a bit bad about his freak-out- what with finding Hayley hed had little time to talk to her. He wasnt sure why, but he felt like it was a dickish thing to do. She was lying down, but he wasnt sure if she was sleeping yet or not. Hayley and Ema were, but he was a night hawk at the best of times. And it wasnt like he was about to get a good nights sleep anyway. He reached forward, jostling her shoulder.
Hey. Hey Janet.
He paused. He didnt know what exactly to say, but thatd never stopped him before. He needed to talk.
Hey Janet- uh- not sure if youre awake or- well. Whatever. You can just go back to sleep, I just wanted to talk to someone. Its a little crazy to talk to myself.
Well no shit
Just wanted to say yknow. Sorry. For uh, for the fair n stuff. Not sure if I said before, never had a really good memory with that sorta thing. I figured itd be best to do it again, to reiterate. Im not gonna ditch you for Hayley or anything because yknow. I really like you Janet. Youre awesome, and uh, yeah. You get it. Well all stick together, nice group from here on out.
Jay waved his hand toward the forest half-heartedly. The forest was deathly quiet. Some nights hed heard gunshots, sounds and people moving in the distance. Tonight it was empty.
Its fucked. Im sorry I freaked back with- with David. I just really didnt expect it to go that far. I didnt mean to shoot him- that was fucked up. That was- he just started screaming like a crazy bastard, I just wanted him to go away
But yknow. Its so fucked. Danya- this entire game. So fucked. Man
Im just saying-
Jay laughed, trying hard to mask it as a courtesy to the sleeping forms around him. He was smiling, although it was impossible to tell in the dark.
Heh. Im just saying what everyone else has said. Hell, people have probably said THAT already too! People have probably commented on the fact that everyone is commenting on Survival of the Fittest
Hell, theyve probably fuckin commented on the fact that people constantly comment on the fact that everyone- I dont know what Im talking about.
He paused, staring out into the night. Where were the others? Jojo and Alex, Jasper and Isabel. Where were they sleeping? What was running through there heads. Jay thought long and hard, running through a list of people he knew. Jeremy Franco. Where was that shitbag? They werent exactly close friends, but Jeremy was a funny guy. He kept thinking about others, Saul, that kid who played the mascot at all the school games. He was a total pushover and a complete bitch, but Jay hadnt heard his name read out yet. Or couldnt remember hearing it... Liz Polanzski had been all over the announcements for awhile, but she was apparently very dead. A real shame, whatever shed done to the collars had really fucked up Danyas day. Shed died for it, but it was apparently a big deal.
Who else? The Indian kid whod threatened him back in the forest with Jojo and Fatty John. Sunil, he was still around. David Meramac- he hadnt looked too hot the last time Jay had seen him. He had a sinking feeling David wouldnt last much longer. That freaky ass goth girl, Anna something or the other, she was still around though. The same with Tabi, whod sat behind him in History Class. Shed killed Clio, that psycho bitch whod been slaughtering people left and right in the first few days. That was more of a relief then anything else.
I feel like Im running through the motions. He said abruptly. I just dont get it, you know? Like- I have to feel bad at this point in the game, feel angry at this point, lament all the senseless death at this point, and then kill someone at this point... And I just find it really funny how unremarkable it all seems, how standard it is. So I cant take it all that seriously, and I keep fucking it up. I know Im going to get my ass killed eventually- I know I need to be serious. I think I have it sometimes, I promise myself, no more joking around, people are dying. This is serious. But I cant help it. Because well, the alternative is some pretty fucked up shit. I really think theres something wrong with me
A big-ass clusterfuck, thats what it is. And I dont know what to do or how to explain it any better then that.
Gonna die. Im gonna fucking die.
He closed his eyes. He didnt want to say anymore. Janet liked him, and he wasnt about to spoil that by turning into a complete sap. She was hard as nails, and shed probably kick him in the balls if he bitched, and mentioned his deepest fears. He wasnt meant to win the game, and he didnt deserve it. So he skipped over it.
You know what? Fuck this. You know what I want to talk about? My Mom, she used to sing me to sleep. Sounds like the most uncool thing ever- but this was when I was little right? She had this uh- this mix tape and it was filled with all these absolutely awesome bands. It was always turned down really low, so it wouldnt hurt my ears n shit. But you could still hear the voices and the guitar and all that good stuff. My Mom, shes really cool like that. Shed play it when it was bed right, so I got to go to sleep listening to classic rock, and yknow, cool things like that.
She liked to sing along with it, and she wasnt ever that good, but yknow how it is. She tried. Problem was, I would, like, start singing too. So thatd just wake me up more, then I never wanted to sleep. So uh, shed just leave and wait for me to settle down. There were some slow songs near the end of the CD, - pretty sure she expected me to freak out and calm down when they came on. Sometimes it worked. Heheh. So uhm, shed always come in at the end. Shed start singin really low and quiet, the last song.
Running just as fast as we can. Holding onto one anothers haaaannnd.
Tryin to get away into the niiight, I put my arms around you and we tumble to the ground and then I say-
I think were alone now. There doesnt seem to be anyone around- -
I think were alone now. The beating of our hearts is the only sound.
Jay yawned. He looked around, at Janet, at the still forms of Hayley and Ema. He grabbed his blanket, throwing it over himself and lying down on the ground a few feet away from Janet. It was dead silent. His throat had been hurting him constantly- at times it was so annoying he barely talked. He didnt know what it was, but if it shut him up he counted it as a good thing. After a moment he continued, his voice cracking ever so slightly, making his voice sound hurt, far more hurt then hed intended.
Its really fucked up how everyone forgets their parents like- after the first day or so. After the first day, were all a bunch of selfish pricks, and thats when people really start slaughtering each other, yknow?
Jay fell silent, considering things. He doubted Janet was still listening, if she had ever been in the first place.
I uh- I think youre really hot Janet- no lie. Im not trying to be yknow, creepy and sappy and all that shit dude, but seriously, Id totally be DTF, any day of the week. Totally. Haha! Sucks about yknow, Survival of the Fittest happening to us.
He closed his eyes, breathing deep. What had been the point of all that? He coughed, clearing his throat. He was tired, and sleep would do him some good. He rolled away from Janet, staring out into the bushes and the forest beyond.
Yeah. Really sucks that youre here. Well, later Janet.
Jay closed his eyes. A few feet away, Jay heard shuffling noises. What could that be? Another student? His thoughts were cut off abruptly as Ema tried desperately to stifle a moan.
Jay began to grin, barely suppressing a giggle. Hayley Kelly was on the prowl.
Jay dreamed, as he often did. He dreamt of home, he dreamt of sewage and weird mutations, hot chicks and Hayley and Ema, Janet and Maria. He dreamt about home and he dreamt about 100 kids slowly beating each other to death with their bare fists. He was scared. He was terrified and restless and he could have sworn what he was witnessing would stick with him for the rest of his life, stuck in the back of his mind, dictating everything hed do.
But in the end he woke up, and didnt learn a single thing.
The announcements shook Jay awake and his heart rate skyrocketed. He sputtered upwards, jerking his head around, looking at the others. Hayley was awake, Ema too. Jay swallowed hard, feeling a lump in his throat-
Alexander Campbell died of I-thought-itd-be-fine-to-field-amputate-my-arm. This is a lesson: practice first aid before your wound starts growing green fuzz.
He stopped moving. He heard Hayley say his name. Danya blathered on, listing more of the dead. He thought of Alex. One of the bright lights left- his best friend-
Jay leaned over, and threw up violently on the ground. He didnt have much in him, but it didnt matter. Tears were welling up and he smacked himself in the chest, hacking and spitting up bile and chunks of foul smelling vomit.
Hed lost his arm. Alex had got an infection, and hed had to cut off his fucking arm.
oh fuck oh holy fuck
It was unreal; an absolutely terrifying demise for someone whod never had a speck of malice in his body. It was as if God was taunting Jay for his words before.
You dont think this is a big deal? Your friends arm is gone. Bam. Big deal now Jay- how you like that? Fuck you Jay Holland. Fuck you Jay Holland.
He brought his head up, spitting away gunk. He looked over toward Hayley, gasping for breath. She was crying now- not only over Alex- but Dutchy. Someone had killed fucking Dutchy, that happy-go-lucky blonde haired kid, without a mean bone in his body. Someone had had the cruelty to snuff some poor scared little kid, all for the slim chance of getting back home.
This is so fucked up.
David was gone, just like hed predicted. He looked over toward Janet, a pained look in his eyes. Shed been right- he was just fodder, bound to die soon. But the pain of just leaving him was still there. Jackie Broughten was dead; the girl whod killed Maria, aka Panties Girl. Jay felt dull inside- he was happy she was dead, but the pointlessness of it stopped him short of rejoicing over the death.
This is fucked. He mumbled out loud.
Stating the obvious, but fuckit. Im done. This is it- Im done, stoner always dies. Done.
He looked over toward Janet, wiping vomit from his chin. He felt oddly ashamed, vulnerable. He couldnt believe Alex was gone. He sniffed his nose, looking at the girls.
He trailed off, glancing off the path to see a figure emerging from the foliage. His eyes went wide.
Charlene Norris? The party girl, tennis star with huge tits. Oh, he remembered her alright. Jay stood dumbstruck for a second, trying to work through just how exactly shed arrived, and why she was standing there, staring at them. There was movement. Jay looked over to see a barely clothed Ema holding up a gun, aiming it at Charlene.
His eyes went wide. Instinctively he reached down toward his bag, yanking out his Nambu Pistol. Shit was going down. Ema was yelling, the others were slow to react.
He raised up the weapon, pointing it toward Charlenes feet, making sure his finger was far away from the trigger. He heard David screaming in his mind, and he could hear the sound of gunshots clearly.
Fuck no, fuck that, not happening!
Janet- He started, looking over toward his companion. His heart was beating fast- how had the girl snuck up on them? Did she even have a gun? Oh how he wanted Janet up and at the ready. She was so much more imposing then him; the gun was shaking in his hands.
O-okay- just do what Ema says- just calm down, I havent been so good with standoffs all throughout this game, dont want anything bad going down- just cool your jets. He mumbled rapidly, unsure of what else to do.
His gun sank lower and lower, until it was pointing toward the ground completely. It had done little to suppress his shakes. Jay twitched as his eyes flicked back and forth between Charlene and Ema, wondering what would happen.
Oh God- Fuck- I hope for once someone listens to me