Emily Sing-Liao

Spinnentier
Cannon Fodder
Joined: May 12th, 2016, 8:53 am

August 12th, 2016, 2:22 pm #1

Name: Emily Sing-Liao
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Grade: 12th Grade (senior)
Hobbies and interests: Sport shooting, hiking, rock climbing, sketching

Appearance: At a height of 4 feet and 10 inches, and a weight of 98 pounds, Emily is slightly overweight. Her body shape is ovular, with distinct curves running down her sides. She has a rounded face, with plump cheeks and skin unusually pale for her race, which is Asian, as both her mother and father are of Chinese descent. She has a rounded and somewhat small nose, freckles adorning the bridge of her nose and cheekbones, and a small mouth.

Her hair is almost always seen hanging loose, with the hair running down her back tied into a small ponytail only extending about an few inches from her head; not long enough to touch her neck. She is suffers from short-sightedness, and as a result is never seen without her large horn-rimmed glasses.

When she was abducted she was wearing a grey hooded jacket, with a single yellow stripe running diagonally down the front. Under her jacket she wore a white singlet. Along with this, she was wearing muted-yellow jeans and dark brown elastic-sided work boots.
Having spent almost her entire life in Kingman, Emily has developed an accent that is a mix between an American and a Chinese accent.

Biography: In the year 1997, Emily was born to unknown parents in Shanghai, who swiftly abandoned her soon after her birth due to the fact that she was a girl born during the one child policy implemented at the time. It was by sheer luck that a worker for a charity organisation found her on the street and took her to an orphanage in time to keep her alive. At the time, Han Sing-Liao, a Chinese immigrant living in America, and his American-born wife Miranda, were visiting Han’s home city. Han, suffering from infertility with an unknown cause, adopted and named Emily on his return to the United States with his wife.

Emily was raised in Kingman along with her sister Audrey, who is three years older than Emily and is the biological daughter of Han and Miranda. Emily’s family has been slightly to the richer side of the middle class, with her father Han being employed as an accountant, and her mother a teacher at the local elementary school. Throughout Emily’s upbringing she grew very close to her sister Audrey, and the two developed a strong bond between them, which has lasted from their childhood.
An extroverted nature meant that Emily fit in well with the children at her elementary school. She quickly became popular among her classmates, and obtained a wide circle of friends. Emily’s grades around this time were slightly above average.

At the beginning of middle school, the revelation of her adoption to Emily meant that she believed she was too different from everyone to fit in with them. She began to drift away from her friends, becoming introverted, avoiding social contact and opting instead to spend time by herself. Her popularity quickly dropped, much to her indifference, and she quickly faded into the social background. This didn’t matter to her, however, as she preferred doing her own thing to being in contact with others.

The start of high school marked the beginning of a new interest for Emily: Sport shooting with a rifle. Having been introduced to the sport by her older sister Audrey, she took up the sport and has been participating in it ever since. She has developed a skill in the sport that can rival even her more experienced sister, and the two often compete against each other in a friendly rivalry. Both Emily and Audrey have been participating in contests both regional and state-wide, with it being Emily’s dream to reach a skill level of which she can compete at a national level.

In one of Emily’s competitions, she lost to a fellow competitor who Emily believes won due to his expensive gear. Ever since that day Emily has begun to severely despise those with vast amounts of money who use it to wield power over the poor. This attitude has earnt her a hostility with the more affluent members of Cochise.

Emily has developed an incredibly antisocial personality, with only a select few people in her friend group. However, recently she has reached out to the community of hikers and campers within Cochise, and has made a large number of friends there. Despite her isolationist tendencies, she has begun to gradually become friends with more and more people with similar interests to her. She is beginning to feel more accepted within the greater schooling community.

However, high school has not been entirely smooth sailing. She has developed anxiety and depression due to her own weight concerns, which have caused her to become self-conscious and have a low perception of her body image. She has kept this to herself, however, and has not told anyone about this, not even her own sister.

In the last few months, Emily has begun to take up rock climbing and hiking in an effort to reduce her weight. She chose the two activities as it allows her to explore the world around her, and gives her a feeling of isolation from the chaos of modern life that she finds enjoyable. She often spends weekends her sister Audrey hiking or rock climbing. Her parents worry for her, but support the idea of Emily venturing out into the world.

Recently Emily has begun sketching her surrounds while on a hike. It has proven cathartic for her and has become something she does every time she stops to rest. She always carries a notepad and pencil with her everywhere she goes, and whenever she enters her room she removes her sketches and places them in a folder containing every sketch she has ever done. Over the years she has developed quite the collection, with everything from mountaintop views to oddly shaped trees.

Emily is openly gay, and has pursued a number of relationships over the years with other girls. Her family has no problem with this, and while they were surprised when she came out about it, they did not hold it against her. Emily's relationships tend to not last very long, however, as many find her too seclusive to form any kind of lasting relationship with.

Advantages: Emily is a crack shot with any rifle, a skill that should carry over to any sort of two-handed firearm. In addition, she is deceptively fit for her appearance, and her ability to rock climb will be advantageous in traversing the island.
Disadvantages: Emily's antisocial tendencies mean she may have a hard time making allies on the island. The fact that she needs her glasses to see mean that if she were to lose them, she would be effectively blind.
I'm still here, just lurking though for the most part.
Like
Share

Spinnentier
Cannon Fodder
Joined: May 12th, 2016, 8:53 am

August 12th, 2016, 2:23 pm #2

I should note right now that Emily is nowhere near done, I just had to put this here because I'm paranoid I might miss out on the submission date (23 minutes late over in GMT+11-land here, but hopefully it's fine over there, right?)
I'm still here, just lurking though for the most part.
Like
Share

Spinnentier
Cannon Fodder
Joined: May 12th, 2016, 8:53 am

August 12th, 2016, 3:25 pm #3

Alright, now she's looking better. Sorry about submitting her so late.
I'm still here, just lurking though for the most part.
Like
Share

Slam
Mr. Danya
Slam
Mr. Danya
Joined: August 11th, 2009, 7:39 pm

August 13th, 2016, 12:44 pm #4

In the future, please do not submit incomplete profiles, even if you know you plan to finish it shortly, as they distort the profile critique process. The imminence of V6 is not a reason to disregard profile submission protocol.


Emily is a good start, but DENIED pending some edits and elaboration.

You need line breaks between the paragraphs in your appearance section.
wrote: At a height of 4 feet and 10 inches, and a weight of 130 pounds, Emily is slightly overweight
I’d remove the word slightly: at that height and weight Emily is notably overweight rather than just a bit pudgy.

I need more description of her facial features. Eye shape, nose shape, mouth shape, that sort of thing. Saying she has a rounded face isn’t enough by itself.

V6 takes place in April 2015: Emily couldn’t have been born in 1999 and be 17 at the time of the game. The correct year would be 1997.

You need a line break between the second and third paragraphs.

Why did Emily become less extroverted all of a sudden? It’s a fairly sudden shift in personality that doesn’t have any explanation right now.

Hiking and rock climbing can be dangerous sports to do by yourself out in the wilderness, especially if you’re inexperienced and young. I’d like to see some mention of education and training, and perhaps postpone the weekends doing it in solitude until she’s older for realism's sake.

What does Emily like about sport shooting?
wrote: she lost to a fellow competitor who Emily believes won due to his expensive gear; something the residents of Kingman could never afford.
It’s a fairly invalid generalisation that no-one in Kingman has access to enough cash for expensive gear, especially since you’ve said Audrey herself is on the wealthier side of things. I’d prefer to see the second part of this line removed.

Why is Audrey still so heavy in spite of all the hiking and rock climbing? Surely all that cardio exercise would burn some serious weight?
wrote: Recently Emily has begun sketching her surroundings while on a hike.
How is Emily currently doing in school? What subjects does she like? Dislike? Which subjects is she good at? Why?

Does Emily have any ambitions for after she graduates?


That's it for now, so post here when you've made the edits and I'll give her another look.
Like
Share

Slam
Mr. Danya
Slam
Mr. Danya
Joined: August 11th, 2009, 7:39 pm

August 27th, 2016, 1:08 pm #5

This character biography has had no alterations for more than two weeks and has been put in the abandoned characters forum. This profile is eligible for resubmission by the handler in V7 or in minis upon alterations requested by the staff.
Like
Share