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In respondéz-vous to the critique and the fact that I cannot speak French to save my life,Megami wrote: A short bit of advice to everyone out there -- use pre-game to your advantage. Your character profile isn't set in stone yet. When you develop new relationships, new scenarios, or new facts concerning your character, don't be scared to add them to your profile. The more in-depth and detailed your character profile is, the less you're going to have to sit around and worry about whether or not they'll be approved. We've got a lot of talented writers on this site, but we're also going to be cracking down on characters apps too -- we don't want any blonde-headed clones of Kazuo Kiriyama or another Mitsuko Souma in our midsts. Own your characters, guys. Make them into a person, not just a concept based off of another character. I'm not saying anyone is doing that, this is just a general thing.
I took the liberty of critiquing a LOT of characters on the old site, so I'm not sure who I haven't already checked off the list with the exception of the newer handlers' characters. I suppose, then, that I'll have to satisfy my compulsive need to critique by tearing our newbies apart at the seams. <3 Just kidding, guys. I will, however, critique your characters for you... but I'm not a nice critic, so don't expect me to go too easy on ya.
Marvin Hendrick: Ah, Marvin. I'll start with the profile, then move on to his performance in pre-game. The first thing I'd like to see elaborated on is his relationship with his brother, because I find the jealous little brother living in the shadows fascinating on many levels. I can't help but wonder if his jealousy over his brother is what causes the inferiority complex he seems to have -- and he does seem to have one, seeing as he seems to feel the need to constantly exert himself over his fellow students. Some things to expand on: his relationship to Reneé -- how's he know her, why are they so close, why does he willingly follow orders from her but otherwise exert himself in a leadership position? His relationship to Damien -- what's the reasoning behind Marvin's incessant need to torture Damien? He's got the potential to be a very complex character, and I'd like to see that happen.
I'll continue my critiques some other time, when I've not been up since the asscrack of dawn. ^.^ In the mean time... *points to list in siggy* if you people so feel the need to rip my charries a new hole, it'd be greatly appreciated.