Carlos Lazaro

laZardo
Winner
Joined: 3:08 PM - Oct 11, 2006

6:38 AM - Jan 15, 2012 #1

Name: Carlos "The Laz" Lazaro
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade: 12
School: Aurora High School
Hobbies and Interests: Online Roleplaying Forums/Boards, writing stories/worldbuilding primarily for roleplaying, video games, internet humor

Appearance: At 5'9" and 150 lbs, Carlos looks like he's just started working out although he remains quite skinny. He has a relatively fair complexion and slightly tanned skin. His arms are the skinniest part of his body, being almost stick-like with larger-than-normal hands at the end.

He has black hair that is cut close to buzzcut, and deep brown eyes that look almost black in low lighting. His nose, once plainly rounded, is lumpy with the scars of withdrawing acne. Although the acne was once severe that his siblings had nicknamed him "Minefield," he is withdrawing well and acne scars and pimples cover no more than 10% of his face. The right side of his face looks a little caved in on closer inspection.

His facial expressions either indicate boredom or anger, depending on the mood. That is not to say he doesn't smile (or can't when asked/directed to). He does find his own sources of humor primarily online, so it's a fairly rare occurrence to be seen smiling in public.

Carlos' choice of wardrobe appears deliberately intended not to attract attention. He generally wears dark-colored shirts and jackets as well as loose-fitting pants with sneakers. He also puts on thicker clothing of similar color scheme including thermal underwear during the colder months. At work he wears a white button-down shirt with black pants and work crew shoes.

Biography: Carlos Lazaro was born to Honesto and Norma Lazaro in San Francisco. He also has two older siblings, Philip and Julian.

His parents had moved to the United States from the Philippines in the late 1980s to start a business. Carlos spent his infancy and early childhood in San Francisco, spending preschool and kindergarten in a Catholic private school. He was briefly considered for gifted classes, however his tendency to become distracted was ultimately cause for his rejection.

In 2000 the Lazaros moved back to the Philippines, taking Carlos with them. His parents took advantage of the then-weak currency exchange rates to put their son into the Manila Global Academy a prominent secular international school attended by the children of the Filipino social and business, elite as well as the children of foreign nationals living there. At that point, Carlos was described by others as "cheerful and curious."

At the MGA Carlos was exposed firsthand to the social pressures predominant in the student hierarchy, which included bullying and being ostracized from social circles. Carlos was particularly singled out for his inability to speak Tagalog, something he continues to hold a grudge against his countrymen from. He also grew envious of Philip and Julian, who were attending a Jesuit Catholic school of lesser repute. Their ability to adapt and learn as well as integrate into the social heirarchy fueled jealousy within Carlos, resulting in lower grades.

His parents remained relatively supportive throughout this ordeal, frequently setting up meetings between him and psychologists. This was especially brought to the family's attention in 2006, when he was discovered watching footage of previous Versions downloaded to the family computer while in drag. As he entered adolescence he developed an aversion to such therapy, however he continued to attend and feign cooperation in order to please his parents. He also ceased to dress in drag, and does not look back on that memory with any fondness whatsoever.

That he continued to push through his education in that particular school was ironically of his own volition; he believed that only that school - through its regular hosting of international standardized testing - could help him graduate into a prestigious college back in the United States. However, such ambitions eventually turned out futile.

On 10 February 2008 Carlos was involved in an altercation with the son of a prominent family during his freshman year in the school's 9th grade. While it is unclear who started the fight, it is believed that the wealthier student got the upper hand during the altercation and left Carlos with a concussion. Transcripts from the school show that both students were "voluntarily withdrawn" in order to avoid publicly staining either family's reputation with an expulsion. Carlos was also officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder and Asperger syndrome, the latter whose existence he vehemently denies as a fabrication.

Following the conclusion of the school year, Carlos was sent back to the United States and left in the care of his aunt and uncle (Norma's brother), both evangelical Christians living on the periphery of Renton. These relatives had three children all attending college, and he was allowed to stay in a room vacated by one of them.

He remains in frequent contact and in relatively good terms with both his parents as well as his siblings, although he does not particularly enjoy them contacting him. Both his parents and his Seattle relatives are keen on helping him grow as a person. He is often called to regular video messaging sessions with them in the evenings due to timezone differences. Although he begrudgingly refuses their help, he does help out around the house to ensure a minimum level of trust. He is also medicated for his psychological conditions.

The family also expect Norma to move in with them to help support the family back home, following troubling financial straits that the Lazaros fell into following the recession.

Carlos has otherwise adapted well to life in Seattle, quickly memorizing the routes and times needed for his commutes to places he frequents. The same could not be said about Aurora High School adjusting to his new personality.

Carlos was enrolled in Aurora High School for the 2008-2009 school year, and appears to have taken lessons he believed he learned from the MGA to heart. His personality has grown extremely snarky and cynical, and he verbally lashes out at any student or faculty member that tries to engage in conversation with him. Although he maintains grades that barely keep him on the honor roll, he has several detentions and at least one suspension to his record for verbally abusing school staff.

The reactions from other students to his provocations vary from ignoring him to outright violence. How pointed his insults to other students varies depending on what he knows about them, often from gossip or other observation. This verbal abuse is more based on luck than deliberate targeting; no social 'clique' tends to be more affected than the other, and individual reactions depend on how well they are familiar with the insult.

Like others in his social situation, Carlos frequently uses virtual environments as an escape. It is however observed that his online personality contrasts starkly with his offline personality. He frequently takes part in online roleplaying forums and other video games, spending the majority of his free time there when not at school or work. Here seems almost glad to offer thoughtful advice to newcomers and those needing help. The fact that he chooses usernames and other handles that do not directly identify him in any way has helped to ensure that such an association is made.

The one area of his life where a connection may be made between the offline and online personalities is his part-time job. He currently works part-time as a cashier at a supermarket, in the opposite direction of his current residence from Aurora High School. The job was a result of pressure from both sets of relatives to improve his social skills. Despite a few mistakes made during his initial probation period, he appears to have become a respected employee. Further observation implies that he simply believes he is repeating scripted behavior for a $9.14/hr paycheck, and that he is fairly content with it.

In terms of post high-school plans, Carlos is relatively unambitious. He hopes to earn a degree from South Seattle Community College and a scholarship to a 4-year-institution out of state. Regardless of where he intends to go, he primarily hopes for a more permanent escape from his relatives.

Advantages: Carlos has a knack for getting the "lay of the land" fairly quickly. It worked in helping him get around Seattle, under duress it could help him keep track of things when the game starts.
Disadvantages: He will have few if any allies to start with, and his habit of wanton verbal abuse will almost certainly prove fatal for those with proverbial and literal axes to grind. He is also not in top physical shape.
Like
Share

BetaKnight
Winner
Joined: 9:39 PM - Dec 14, 2008

6:46 AM - Jan 15, 2012 #2

Before we Carlos a full critique, please adjust his profile so it matches the template. Specifically, there should not be whole lines between the section titles and the text. Post when you've got that done, and we'll give Carlos a full critique.
[+] Spoiler



Rebecca Kiesling Girl 50 armed with One Package Sharpie Minis

Iselle Ovalle-Vandermeer Girl 10 armed with Five foot hickory walking stick

Cooper Komorowski Boy 63 armed with WASP knife

Genie Banneman - banned from Senior Trip

Like
Share

laZardo
Winner
Joined: 3:08 PM - Oct 11, 2006

6:50 AM - Jan 15, 2012 #3

Done. I think.
Like
Share

BetaKnight
Winner
Joined: 9:39 PM - Dec 14, 2008

8:09 AM - Jan 15, 2012 #4

Carlos Lazaro is temporarily DENIED pending some revisions.

The Edit note at the top of the profile needs to be removed as it is not a part of the template.

Also, the tone of the profile does not match the supposed author, namely that it should read like a member of Danya's organization wrote it. Here are some examples to read over for correct tone. Adam Morgan, Ian Valmont, and Alexandria Ripley.

In the Hobbies and Interests section, please list the hobbies and interests rather than write them out in sentences and paragraphs. Also, manga hobby and club participation need to be mentioned in the bio.

There are several instances of run-on sentences in the profile. There are also several sentences that are very confusing to me. I'm going to list them so that they can be addressed.

In the Appearance section:
"His nose, once plainly rounded, is lumpy with the scars of withdrawing acne which only occupies about 10% of his face. "

What occupies only 10% of his face, the acne or his nose?

"He constantly looks bored, something easily turned into pissed-off with little to no provocation."

So his expression is either bored or pissed off? And when he looks pissed off, is he actually pissed off or does he only appear that way?

In the Biography section:
"Having English as his first language certainly did not help him get into any social circles in a country in the throes of of a nativist language revival."

You have two 'of's. Please remove one.

"To make matters worse, both him and the other kid were expelled through a zero tolerance policy to avoid a massive lawsuit to the Lazaro family."

Wait, in order to avoid the Lazaro family getting sued, both kids were expelled? Shouldn't they both have been expelled anyway if there was a zero tolerance policy in effect? What would the Lazaro family have been getting sued over?

"He moved in with his aunt and uncle in Downtown Seattle as he finished junior high and began a new life in Aurora High School where to him the student community was pretty much the same."

This is one of those run-on sentences I mentioned earlier. As there are two seperate thoughts here, there should be two seperate sentences.

"Learning all the wrong lessons from his previous experience, he figured if he couldn't beat the bullies, he'll at least try to smartass them at their own game."

What does that mean, smartass them at their own game? He is verbally bullying his bullies? He is being a smartass to the bullies, regardless of the consequences? Please clarify.

"While he continues to pass his classes and remain just on the honor roll, his teachers clearly do not enjoy his presence in the classroom as much as they do with delinquents."

Are you telling me that is teachers would rather have delinquents in the classroom than Carlos? Or are you implying that his teacers enjoy having delinquents in their classes? If Carlos is argumentative with everyone and causes issues, doesn't that classify him as a delinquent in the eye of some of his teachers?

"Classmates don't figure much better either, especially if Carlos knows something about them that he can really rub in."

This sentence is awkwardly worded. You might choose a different word other than figure. Perhaps fare much better. Or, aren't treated much better by Carlos, especially if he finds something to harass them about.

"The one conduit between his online "goodness" and real life is his part time job, as the supermarket where he works part time as a cashier. It's a job his parents egged him to get into to learn social skills via his social skills."

This sentence does not flow well section does not flow well, especially the first sentence. You state that Carlos' parents want him to learn social skills via his social skills. Via means 'by way of'. However, you cannot learn a skill by way of a skill. Also, you say that Carlos' parents "egged him" into getting this job, but doesn't Carlos live with his aunt and uncle while his parents reside in the Philippines? How are they 'egging' him into doing anything?

About Carlos' family life.... It is missing from the profile. How does Carlos feel about his parents? Do they maintain a relationship? How frequently do they communicate? How does Carlos get along with his aunt and uncle? What does he think about living with them? Do his aunt and uncle have any children living at home with Carlos? Does Carlos have any brothers and sisters?

Finally, Carlos' advantages come out of nowhere and are not referenced at all in the bio. Please fix that.

Once you address the above issues, please post in this thread and I will give Carlos another look.
[+] Spoiler



Rebecca Kiesling Girl 50 armed with One Package Sharpie Minis

Iselle Ovalle-Vandermeer Girl 10 armed with Five foot hickory walking stick

Cooper Komorowski Boy 63 armed with WASP knife

Genie Banneman - banned from Senior Trip

Like
Share

laZardo
Winner
Joined: 3:08 PM - Oct 11, 2006

10:23 AM - Jan 15, 2012 #5

Edited.
Like
Share

BetaKnight
Winner
Joined: 9:39 PM - Dec 14, 2008

8:53 PM - Jan 15, 2012 #6

APPROVED
[+] Spoiler



Rebecca Kiesling Girl 50 armed with One Package Sharpie Minis

Iselle Ovalle-Vandermeer Girl 10 armed with Five foot hickory walking stick

Cooper Komorowski Boy 63 armed with WASP knife

Genie Banneman - banned from Senior Trip

Like
Share