And this, Samya, is what happens when you go numb. Murders happen all around you, and Felicia kills someone because . . .
You freeze up. You should have dealt with it, made a decision. Horrible or not, Sebastian had enough balls to make one. Felicia too. She's a murderer yes, but right now she's Samya's hero. That blood should have been on her hands. Just useless, just . . . damnit. She should just . . . die. She can't save anyone, and no one in this room deserved to die more than she did. When good men do nothing, evil wins, right?
So what's the point?
Samya fell over, stumbling into a dead body. More blood, should have been her blood. Her mom and her granny, they are not proud of her right now. God is not smiling, and Mufasa is not pleased. Blood on her clothes. Blood on her hands, she'll answer to him in the end. She's not even a GodSPEEDer (or however they said it) but she knows . . . she just does.
So sick of this game
She doesn't get up quickly, lies on the dead boy, soaks up her sins and cowardice. Why didn't the bastard aim for her instead? Survivor guilt fell in on her head, but she still wants to live. Not her heart, but her gut. A girl that can't even make herself quit. Samya knows she can't kill herself, she's too brave/much of a coward. Suck it up, Sammy. Live with this. It's what a weak girl, a follower, a peasant deserves. Not anyone's princess, just another selfish bitch that wants to live.
It's strange, when you see yourself for what you are.
Rolling off of the body, she forces herself up. She's spiteful enough to kick him, for not cutting her neck off, for proving she's a phony. A fake heroine. She curbstomps his head like he's a bug. In her mind, he's less than that. And she's
less than him.
Then she leaves her castle behind, crashed into the ground. Like everything else around her.
((Samya Franklin countined in Hmmmn