Hayley really didn't like this feeling called guilt
Maddy said, even though it clearly wasn't, and Hayley instantly felt like a complete and total bitch.
I mean, I DID promise to protect her. And everyone. God, I am a dick. A dick and a half. Fuck...do I really need to do this? Like, is going away really gonna help?
She wasn't really sure, but it was what her best instincts were telling her to do. Not that my best instincts are worth a damn. I am like instinctually retarded. Instinctually isn't even a word. GOD I AM SO TIRED.
She watched in silence as Maddy turned around. Walked away. I suck as a person.
But she could not think of anything to say, and turned her attention to Alex.
She didn't feel better. If anything, she felt worse. Way worse. Maddy was hurt, but Alex just seemed...hurt wasn't the word. He's just...sad. Like he's disappointed in me, like my goddamn parents when I get home at three in the morning except way different because I actually give a shit.
"Fine. The groundskeepers hut should be clear again tomorrow. We can meet up there at noon. If it's still a dangerzone tomorrow, we'll make it the mansion instead."
Hayley almost smiled. The groundskeeper's hut fit perfectly
in her plans- it was close to where she'd planned on headed and
, as an added bonus, all her clothes were there. She almost
smiled, and she almost
said something about how he'd read her mind, but then she saw the look on his face, and she didn't feel like smiling anymore.
"Yeah. Sure. Take your time,"
Charlene said, in a tone of voice that said yeah, please go away forever, that would be awesome, thanks.
Hayley decided, not for the first time, that she didn't like Charlene.
"Alright. We'll meet at the Groundkeeper's Hut tomorrow, or the mansion. We are all in agreement for that?"
It was Kyle who spoke last. Kyle who made her hate herself a tiny bit less. At least he doesn't think I'm scumtastic. Oh, scumtastic is
definitely not a word. I need a cigarette.
Her mouth twitched upwards into a half-smile as Kyle reached out to her.
"We should go somewhere to get you cleaned up."
took her by surprise.
Wait. We? Meaning, like, me AND him? Both of us? Like, together?
She blinked dumbly for a second, her mouth opening slightly as though she had something to say. Yeah, duh, Hayley, that makes sense, right, he's your boyfriend, after all. He probably wants to make sure you don't...you know, die.
She couldn't complain at that. She hadn't wanted anyone to come along, really- she'd thought she needed this time to be totally alone- but...but I don't need to be away from Kyle. Kyle doesn't hate me. Kyle's not gonna...
Why had she wanted to leave in the first place? She'd tried to convince herself that it was for their
own good. Bullshit. This is damn well all for me. I just need to be away from all the guilt-tripping they're pulling on me right now.
Yeah, I REALLY suck as a person.
Hayley looked at Kyle and only gave a small nod as she used his support to stand, her other hand still tight around her sword's hilt. She dug through her backpack for the items she needed at the moment- her map and her compass- and quickly oriented herself in the direction she would be headed. East.
She looked over at the others. Whatever to Charlene, but Maddy and Alex had already occupied themselves. Her heart sank. What can I do? I'm supposed to be protecting them and now I'm off being a selfish bitch. Who's gonna protect them? Charlene? Ugh. ...I guess she probably can. I mean, it's just me she doesn't like. They...they'll be fine for one night. They will be. Right? Yeah. Yeah...
She shook her head and spoke, quietly, too quietly.
"Yeah, I'll...see you in the morning. Be safe."
And she began to walk, away from the setting sun, hearing Kyle's footsteps beside hers but not daring to look anywhere but ahead.
The moment she'd walked far enough to be considered out of sight, she lit up a cigarette.
Hayley Kelly, you have a LOT to answer for.
[[Hayley Kelly & Kyle Portman continued in Sorry, Mom. Sorry, God.