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July 12th, 2016, 10:21 pm #11

"Oh yeah. Going home is the best excuse for not greeting people. I see."

Darius attempted to look very confused by that statement by raising his eyebrows.

When Michael threatened with violence, however, Darius truly was confused this time, raising his eyebrows for real. Was Michael gonna do it? Was he? Punch him, kick him, give him punches?

Oh, no. He wasn't. He was just fucking with Brendan.

Well, no violence. Lucky Brendan.

"Well...what's there to add? Sucks to be a rude moron. Sucks to suck."

Darius waved his left hand in front of Brendan and spoke in a deep, slow, Patrick-voice.

"Hellooo, Daaariuuus."

Okay, this was silly. This was a really silly reason to mock Brendan. But that made everything just funnier. He switched his hands.

"Heeelloooo, Brenden."

He stopped the waving.

"That's it. That's what people do in Kingman. Easy, no?"
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July 17th, 2016, 12:40 am #12

Brendan didn't know how to react when Michael had just scared him. He was more speechless than before. He felt lucky that Michael hadn't knocked his lights out. He heard about Michael getting into fights and they weren't pretty apparentally. Well, fights weren't pretty in general. Brendan's heart was still pounding like crazy as he had been freaked out too easily and he kind of felt embarrassed about it. He wished that he wasn't too easy to scare sometimes.

Darius was speaking to him again. Mocking him was more right to say. Brendan was actually getting a bit sick of it. He was fine with people joking with him in a teasing way. Especially if they were friends. But he and Darius were not friends at all. He shouldn't have tolerated it.

"Actually, I do have something to say to you...." Brendan spoke more clearly even with a croaky voice and he gave Darius a quick wave, having a forceful smile on his voice. "Goodbye, Van Dyke. Goodbye, Crowe."

With those bitter-sounding words spoken; Brendan turned his back to the both of them and he walked away at a faster pace. He really couldn't wait to get home when he felt like he was more safe.

((Brendan Harte continued elsewhere))
Their Time Is gone wrote:
[+] spoiler
V6
B030 - Brendan Harte: "F-Family..... Thank you, thank you, t-thank.... you, Alba, Jon...."
G014 - Scarlett McAfee: "I always liked you, y-you know...?"
G044 - Maria Cucinotta (Adopted): "Hah..."
[+] spoiler
Emmett Bunnell: Artistic Loner
Violet Quinn: Quiet Goth

[+] spoiler
Travis Levenson: 'Me? Nice? Please! You're being delusional...'
Tia Sullivan: 'This is a complete waste of my time....'
Molly Doe: 'Why don't we just get with the party lovers and have a crazy, wild experience?'
Ravan Sharpe: 'Uh.... H-Hi.'
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Joined: June 26th, 2015, 10:56 pm

July 19th, 2016, 4:59 pm #13

"Haha-Hey! We got you to speak up didn't we?!" It was a victory for Michael and Darius, that much was sure. They did get him to say hi and bye, after all. Brendan could get as pissy as he wants about it, Michael's tactic worked. All it takes is a little leverage, and boom, job is done.

With Brendan gone, Michael could now focus at the task at hand. Wait, what was the task at hand in the first place? Jonathan still wouldn't be out for another half-hour more than likely. He had time to kill though, so he might as well see what Darius was up to. Well, y'know, outside of dicking with people.

" 'Ey Dee." Might as well start a conversation, relax a bit. He sat down beside Darius, sliding his hand into his pocket. "That was some funny shit man, fuck, you see the look on his face right?" Michael laughed as he pulled his comb out from his pocket. "Brendan looked like he was gonna shit his pants, heha!" Michael continued to maintain his Val Kilmer mane as he watched Brendan speed-walk away. "Poor bastard..." Michael chuckled as he slid his comb back into his pocket, shaking his head.

He turned to Darius. "So uhhh, anythin' goin' on right now?"
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July 19th, 2016, 7:41 pm #14

Darius joined Mike's laughter.

"Maybe he already shat his pants and that's why he has to go. Heh."

Aw, come on. Brendan leaving? That sucked. Darius had an idea, a genius plan. But Brendan just left. What a jerk. Kinda annoyed he took yet another sip of his can.

And then the can was empty, so he placed it on the bench, so he could further reply to Mike.

"Not yet", he started, putting in a break to take his cigarette from his ear and light it with the lighter in his pocket.

"Co-"

Nah, Darius was not going to make a shitty, random The Doors reference.

"Just taking a break from the exhausting day."

He exhaled the smoke into the air and it disappeared like his plan to tell Brendan the tragic backstory of how people who did not greet changed his life into a worse one. People who do not greet have bringed shame upon the Van Dyke family. It was the downfall of a big dynasty. It was something that hurt Darius deep inside. Or something like that. He could have improvised some bullshit. But if he can't fuck with Brendan, he can fuck with Michael, probably. It wouldn't be as funny as trolling Brendan, because Mike is not as dumb as him, but if he's already in the mood to troll? Worth a try.

"Today, Ben gave me a wedgie."

Darius tried to not smirk. Do not laugh, do not smirk. Stare into the abyss. Look as if it was a serious matter. Mo-no-tone pro-nun-ci-a-tion.

"It hurt."
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Joined: June 26th, 2015, 10:56 pm

July 20th, 2016, 4:46 pm #15

"Ben?" Ooooh shit, the plot just thickened. " Ben 'Electra Complex' Fields?" Darius was definitely bullshitting, but it'd be fun to humor him a bit, just to see what he has to say. "What the fuck is this? Some sort of cheap 90's nickelodeon sitcom?" Of all things, a wedgie? Who the fuck does that anymore?

Darius must've been huffing paint or jenkem again or some shit. Michael actually took a quick sniff to see if he smelled acrylic paint or recreational drugs floating around the two. All he could smell was nicotine and cancer, as of right now. Though nothing covers up any scent more than cigarette smoke, so he'd probably have to wait a bit just to see if it changes. He made a mental note of if he smelled bullshit or not, it was either Darius' story or the jenkem he theoretically inhaled. I mean, if he wanted it to be believable, he'd have probably picked anything other than a wedgie.

"You're telling me that Ben reeled your ass like that Spongebob hook episode shit?" Michael took a quick laugh before putting on a cheap Mr. Krabs impersonation. "Yo ho yo ho, near the hooks we'll never go!" Okay, it was harder to humor Darius than he thought, but damn, he was asking for it worse than wearing a fur coat down a dark alley.

I mean really? It was almost an insult to Michael's intelligence. Darius' story implied Michael had an IQ in the double, nay, single digits. It's on the borderline of warranting a dick-punch. Not like a massive ball breaker, just a quick shot strong enough to make him gasp or squeak or some shit. I mean, Ben Give me a faggot and I'll lynch the maggot Fields? The idea of him getting close enough to touch a guy's rear end is already preposterous, let alone actually grabbing their underwear.

"Could I give you some advice, Darius?" Michael reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out his Rayban Wayfarers and placing them over his face. He'd only pull out the old Blue's Brother's sunglasses on special occasions, and he'd figure this would be one. "If you ever want to be a conman, just remember..." Michael stretched his legs out on the bench, crossing his ankles, as he rested his hands behind his head, in the what could be the most campy 1980's Tony Montana cartel boss fashion possible. "You. Can't. Con. A conman." His grin widened. He couldn't take this seriously, so he might as well not act it either.
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July 20th, 2016, 7:43 pm #16

Mike did not fall for it. Dammit.

"Wow, that hurts."

But he had at least pulled out his fucking sunglasses, which made it harder for Darius to not-laugh. After a quick chuckle, he began to talk serious real talk again.

"It is true, though."

He looked away from Mike.

"It totally is...He was like,"

Darius tried to imitate's Ben's annoying fuckface voice in a deep voice.

"Hey, you! This is the last time you do this kind of thing! And wham, he pulled my pants."

He eyed the skateboarders, oh this might be interesting. Wait, what was the last thing he said? Something about Ben.

"Nevermind Ben."

Darius saw something hilarious in the distance, a skater. He pointed his finger at him, so Mike could see him.

"HAH, look at that fat guy. Why does even skate? He doesn't need a skateboard, he needs a walker. Topkek."
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Joined: June 26th, 2015, 10:56 pm

July 20th, 2016, 8:26 pm #17

Michael knew Darius'd give up, a quick giggle for shits never last too long. Michael had watched Darius change his point of view to the piss poor skaters rolling around the place.

Darius pointed towards a particular hambeast who had as much trouble climbing up the ramp as he did riding down, just across the park.

"Jeezuz, is that the new character for Tony Hawk's hoveround racer?"

How did that fat fuck's board not break? Christ, no wonder everyone over there sucks at skating! They're stuck in this large lard-asses' fucking gravitational pull. Michael was inches away from exploding into laughter.

"Li-l-li-like, you can hear the fucking ramp creak every time he rolls down, holy shit!"

They were literally watching an adult Bobby Hill ride down a fucking ramp like he didn't weigh 300 pounds.

"Christ, more chins than a Chinese phone book, y'know, if he didn't weigh so fucking much, he could use his bing- his fucking-!" Michael was dying of laughter right now, he could barely finish his own joke. "He could- he- he could fuh-fucking use his bin-bingo wings as a fucking wing suit and go cliff jumping!" He had to say the second part as fast as possible, otherwise he'd never finish it.

This was quite common, once one target of ridicule leaves, another comes in it's place. There was never a dull moment when it came to shit like this. It didn't matter if there even was a dull moment, as the rest of it was so fucking funny it was worth it.
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July 20th, 2016, 9:54 pm #18

Michael was a good joke-teller and Darius amused himself by laughing his ass off with all the jokes about the Tony Fork guy.

"Like really, if he's so fat, he should do a different sport than skateboarding."

This was ridiculous to watch. Darius wondered if they saw them, but frankly, he did not give a damn.

"I mean, if you weigh more than fat Bart, you should be worried about your weight. Wait, did I say 'Fat Bart'? Hah, what a pleonasm."

After that, Darius continued to suck the smoke from the cigarette.
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July 31st, 2016, 6:27 pm #19

"Fat fuck Bart?" Michael made some exaggerated pantomimed gagging. "That kid has a fuckin' problem man. Nobody, and I mean, no-fuckin'-body, should smell like the inside of a friggen' colostomy bag."

Michael took his sunglasses off, waving them in his hand as he spoke. "That motherfucker really needs a shower, y'know?" Michael paused his rant for a moment. The fat kid on the ramp took another fall.

"HEY FATSO!' Michael called out to the hapless skater, hooting like a hyena. "DO A FLIP!"

"Ha he hah- Fuck where was I, man?" Something about fat boy Bart. "Oh yeah, that motherfucker Bart, he needs to take a shower with soap and water, instead of fermented ham and raw sewage." Michael paused to see if Darius would laugh or not...


After spending a good hour or two heckling skaters, gossiping about other students, and generally making an ass out of each other, Michael figured it was time to call it quits.

"So anyway ehhh, you see Jon at all?" Michael waited for Darius to answer. "Been meanin' to talk with him about some shit and- ah damn, I think he's off of work right about now anyways." Michael got up out of his seat, carrying his jacket over his shoulder. "Talk to you later, Dee." Michael waved goodbye, like a good fucking civilized being should and strode off into the sunset; well there wasn't really a fucking sunset, it was still mid-day, but, y'know.

((Michael Crowe continued elsewhere))
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July 31st, 2016, 11:33 pm #20

Bart really had a problem. Darius covered his nose with one hand.

"Don't remind me of the smell. My nose already bleeds thinking about Bart...and I don't mean that in an anime way. I mean it in a 'his smell hurts really fucking bad' way."

And meanwhile, Bart's brother (Darius was glad that he was not near enough that fat skater boy to smell him) was a complete loser at everything.

Do a flip. Jesus Christ, that one-liner. Darius had to laugh out loud hard. Do a flip. Do a barrel roll. Do a flip. That was impossible. That guy could never do a flip at this state, weight, whatever.

Darius had a good time having a civil conversation with Mike, laughing at the jokes several times and after like 3 or 4 cigs, Michael intended to leave.

"Yeah, Jon usually works. I met him last week or so." Or was it a week before? Who cares. Darius waved at Michael leaving, and stomped on his last cig before also heading home.

"See ya!"

((Darius Van Dyke, continued in Food's Better with Friends))
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